Kolt!
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Post by Kolt! on Jan 31, 2016 17:59:03 GMT -5
Hey there, I'm Kolt! This is just me introducing myself. I'm really excited to start browsing this site and meeting new people. I'm 24 years old and an English Major! I graduate in Dec of THIS YEAR. Finally! Holy cow. Five years to get there but I did it! Then i'll be going back to get my teaching certificate. Teaching is MY passion. I love working with students. I love feeling as if I've helped someone and I feel as if I can do that through teaching not only inside the classroom but outside of the classroom as well. Um. I'm transgender. I'm sorry if someone has a problem with that. But, after thirteen years of dealing with depression and wanting to die rather then be transgender I finally had to either come out...or end my life. After a failed suicide attempt... it was the other. I finally had to tell my parents. I'm happier then I've ever been now that I'm out and transitioning. I'm an open book with this so if anyone has questions feel free to ask! I love to read ANYTHING. Literally anything. Harry Potter is my favorite book series. I'm a Gryffindor for Pottermore tells me so. I love to play Cards Against Humanity with friends. My favorite color is red. Any questions just ask!
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swamp
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Don't be a fool. Call me!
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Post by swamp on Jan 31, 2016 18:02:30 GMT -5
Welcome.
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Jaguar
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Post by Jaguar on Jan 31, 2016 18:08:46 GMT -5
Welcome to YMAM. namaste
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 31, 2016 18:17:14 GMT -5
Welcome to the community.
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Happy prose
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Post by Happy prose on Jan 31, 2016 18:27:09 GMT -5
Hi Kolt. You'll meet a lot of great, knowlagable people here!
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moon/Laura
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Post by moon/Laura on Jan 31, 2016 19:05:49 GMT -5
Welcome, Kolt! It's good to have you. I hope you enjoy the site.
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Jan 31, 2016 19:16:24 GMT -5
Welcome, Kolt! Glad to have you here with us.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jan 31, 2016 19:47:42 GMT -5
Welcome! It's always good to have new people here. And feel free to pop into long running threads. Generally, only the last couple of pages are pertinent, you don't have to wade through the entire thing - the Pregnancy Thread on Women in Red (WIR); the Anonymous Thread on Everything Else(EE) and the Job Hunting Thread somewhere on the Your Money (YM) or Your Money Off Topic (YMOF) spring to mind.
As for being transgender, most of us aren't going to care or comment (I won't after this post.) That said, we're curious and we're probably clueless about a lot of it. We did recently have a thread about supporting the spouse of someone's who's changing. I don't remember the title or which board it was on though but it's probably not that hard to find.
But welcome and I really hope you stick around.
Beth
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billisonboard
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Post by billisonboard on Jan 31, 2016 19:51:45 GMT -5
Welcome. I like to point out to new people that not only are there great people here but there are some very talented people who have given us really wonderful features to customize things for a personal touch. Our leader moon/Laura is incredible with what she does. I encourage you to explore things that are available.
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Kolt!
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Post by Kolt! on Jan 31, 2016 20:13:53 GMT -5
Holy Welcomes!
But hey everybody.
---
For anyone that is unsure what this means...as in transgender I will give a tiny snippet.
I have dysphoria which is an unsatisfied view on ones body in regards to gender. It wasn't just not liking my hair, or my breast, or my body but rather what I lacked. I didn't even hate all of me as I love my blue eyes. But, I hated my feminine voice, I hated my breast not because they were heavy but rather they added to the feminine look, I actually had something compared to someone who was missing an arm would feel. They could feel like they still had the arm...but I've always felt like I was lacking a male's part. I'm trying to watch my language. Anyways, when I would dream I wouldn't even dream as if I were female, I would dream as if I had stubble, a male's haircut, a male's body...I never felt female. I always felt male.
I wanted to try to live with this. I tried for as long as I could remember. I even tried to get 'fixed' I went to therapy to try to cope with who I was. I prayed to God to fix me and stop me being transgender. But, eventually, as hard as I tried to fix myself, or cope with this while still being in a female body...I could not. Death became more of a need for me because I couldn't live in that body anymore. Getting out of bed physically and emotionally hurt. I nearly cried every time I looked in the mirror or had to take a shower. With Dysphoria came a lot of depression which is common. I hated myself. I didn't want to be transgender. But...eventually I had to come to terms with it and start transitioning or I'd have done something stupid like ending my life.
With this transition which is the part people tend to not understand...as in what does one do to transition? It depends on the person. I would wear a binder to cover my breast until I was able to get them removed. If anybody has questions on the bottom part? Please PM me I won't talk about that here because it's well... ? Not exactly appropriate haha. But, I started working out, gaining more muscle because I started T... Testosterone which I take weekly... it's a shot in the thigh. (I HATE IT. Im such a pansy) With this I've gained a deeper voice and more hair, and a more masculine body.
I actually pass pretty well now. People don't even question it and look at me like I'm lying when I tell them I'm trans now. =P But, I like to be open about it. It's who I am. It's not who I wanted to be. Part of me still hates that this is who I am. But, there's nothing I can do about it. Going to therapy, praying, dressing feminine, trying to cope with it... I tried for over thirteen years. Nothing changed who I was.
I'm still learning to accept myself.
But as I said I'm an open book.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jan 31, 2016 20:32:31 GMT -5
I'm sorry for all the pain you've had. Being happy is always better than not. So be happy.
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moon/Laura
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Post by moon/Laura on Jan 31, 2016 20:56:52 GMT -5
Kolt, thanks for sharing your story. As Beth mentioned, we recently had a thread regarding this very topic. I won't lie - we have some that think that it's a mental illness. Perhaps they will understand better if they see your story.
PS - if you would like your display name to say Kolt (rather than brilliantwithbooks), simply go to your profile, click on Edit Profile, then go to the Personal tab. It's the top box on that page. Make sure to save your changes at the bottom.
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weltschmerz
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Post by weltschmerz on Jan 31, 2016 20:58:31 GMT -5
You just had the one? No wonder you were so unhappy!
Kidding. Welcome, and hope you stick around for a while.
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Kolt!
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Post by Kolt! on Jan 31, 2016 22:24:14 GMT -5
Kolt, thanks for sharing your story. As Beth mentioned, we recently had a thread regarding this very topic. I won't lie - we have some that think that it's a mental illness. Perhaps they will understand better if they see your story. PS - if you would like your display name to say Kolt (rather than brilliantwithbooks), simply go to your profile, click on Edit Profile, then go to the Personal tab. It's the top box on that page. Make sure to save your changes at the bottom. It may be a mental illness. I'm not sure. But, even if it is a mental illness a mental illness is not something one can control. You don't tell a person with multiple personality disorder to stop making up all these people in their heads. It is not something someone can control. However, a know a lot of transgender people that are much happier once they transition...when there bodies align with their hearts and mind they begin to feel better as I have. So...I'm not sure. Should one suffer their mental illness forever simply because society thinks it's wrong? Should one rather live hating their body and wanting to die instead of transitioning? I don't know. But, I have been in extensive therapy not only to cope and try to live as female...but to try to 'fix' being transgender as well...and after thirteen years it's one of those things that... The only way I could be happy...was getting the body that I felt I was meant to be in. It may be a mental illness. But, depression is a mental illness as well. And my depression has slowly started to be something I can handle better now that I've transitioned. Transitioning got rid of one 'mental illness' at least. =P Even if the other still remains. And now? Honestly? The only thing that keeps me depressed isn't my body...I'm happy with my body. It's society that makes me hate myself. It's society that makes me hate being this way because it can be frowned up. People can be cruel. I've heard it all. =P Luckily, it doesn't bother me as much as it once did. I CAN look in a mirror again! I can take a shower without being sick to my stomach. But...it is pretty sad that... if it wasn't for the cruel words I've received in my life time...i'd be perfectly content with who I am... it's society that makes me hate myself. It's funny how that works. You'd think people wouldn't care so much what someone does with themselves. You'd think someone would think to themselves. "Wow...they're no longer depressed. THEY're so happy!" but sadly that's not how it is. You'd think people would be more happy that I don't want to kill myself now then being disgusted I made myself into someone that doesn't want to kill myself now. I don't really know how I'm effecting their lives. =P But...if someone out there has a cure to being transgender...please be my guest and tell me how one can just not be transgender. If you tell me that I should deal with it by hiding it...I'd be dead... so I'd rather not hear it. I don't know...I think people fear what they don't know. I think sometimes people are disgusted by what they don't understand and perceive as normal. But as far as it being a mental illness in my long spill! SORRY! It very well could be. But as I said...then I had two mental illnesses and at least one is slowly going away and right now that's all that matters to me I'll also admit...I don't know if it's just something that happens at birth. I don't know if it's 'learned' it can't be unlearned in my experience. But, I have felt this way... since I was in second grade if not sooner. I remember a scene so clearly in second grade...and from that moment on I always felt different...I just didn't know a term until I was about 12 or 13. After a failed suicide attempt. After watching my parents cry because they didn't want to lose me. My parents who had to come to terms with this... My parents who were very against being trans or gay... became more concerned with keeping me alive then what I looked like. I'm just happy to be alive now.
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Kolt!
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Hello!
Jan 31, 2016 22:29:37 GMT -5
Post by Kolt! on Jan 31, 2016 22:29:37 GMT -5
I actually can't find the thread referring to this topic. =P Sorry. Maybe when I start absorbing into the site more I'll fall into it one day!
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justme
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Post by justme on Jan 31, 2016 22:46:48 GMT -5
Not only fresh blood, but young fresh blood! Ignore the sharks circling below and jump right in! Really we're not that bad, welcome!
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Kolt!
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Hello!
Jan 31, 2016 22:52:14 GMT -5
Post by Kolt! on Jan 31, 2016 22:52:14 GMT -5
^ ahahaa. i'm terrified now! the shark analogy put some fear into my bones.
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billisonboard
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Post by billisonboard on Jan 31, 2016 22:53:21 GMT -5
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Kolt!
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Post by Kolt! on Jan 31, 2016 22:55:22 GMT -5
^ Hey thanks... Oh my thirteen posts. Oh gosh! This thread is going to make me. lol. I've seen it all before though. I'll have to surf through this some what fast... or at a later date. But...I mean being transgender...I'd probably be able to give some advice. Edit-- Actually I'm seeing a lot of positivity in the thread too though. That makes me happy!
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jan 31, 2016 23:04:07 GMT -5
Thank you for sharing and being so open.
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Kolt!
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Post by Kolt! on Jan 31, 2016 23:35:13 GMT -5
-starts laughing hysterically when a transman gets posted to the thread-
oh my gosh. yes...a lot of transmen can pass as cis me included. my ex gf had no idea.
-sidenote- not why we broke up either. lmao
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Peace Of Mind
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[font color="#8f2520"]~ Drinks Well With Others ~[/font]
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Feb 1, 2016 0:54:39 GMT -5
Welcome, Kolt! If that's your real name I love it. Beth and Justme said most of what I wanted to say but I'll just second it. If you pay enough attention to even some of the stuff said here about money you are going to be one rich young man!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 1, 2016 5:56:35 GMT -5
My parents who had to come to terms with this... My parents who were very against being trans or gay... became more concerned with keeping me alive then what I looked like.
Hi Kolt! I'm so happy that your parent's love for you allowed them to see past the strong feelings they had/have(?) about being trans or gay and see what was most important, that their child was in serious trouble. I'm sure a lot of parents wrestle with those same feelings, and not all of them are able to find a way to be supportive in some way regardless of what their child is going through. I'm glad you made it through.
Welcome to the boards. There are a lot of good people to learn things from here, especially if you need money advice.
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Kolt!
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Hello!
Feb 1, 2016 7:17:20 GMT -5
Post by Kolt! on Feb 1, 2016 7:17:20 GMT -5
Always needing Money advice. I'm a poor college student. ha ha ha!
And yes I was fortunate. Some trans kids I know...there parents kicked them out and now have nothing to do with them. I was lucky that even though my parents didn't agree at first...they loved me enough to stay with me through my journey.
One of my friends told me they're mom though them going to jail would have been easier to handle. >.>
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NoNamePerson
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Hello!
Feb 1, 2016 8:50:37 GMT -5
Post by NoNamePerson on Feb 1, 2016 8:50:37 GMT -5
Welcome aboard.
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gregintenn
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Hello!
Feb 1, 2016 14:55:38 GMT -5
Post by gregintenn on Feb 1, 2016 14:55:38 GMT -5
Welcome to the forum.
You said more than once that you're an open book, and asked for questions. You've demonstrated so far that you really mean it.
You say you intend to be a teacher. I have a question the mods won't like, but I won't know if I don't ask.
How do you intend to deal with parents who may have a problem with a transgender person being in charge of their children?
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Wisconsin Beth
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Hello!
Feb 1, 2016 15:12:01 GMT -5
via mobile
Jaguar likes this
Post by Wisconsin Beth on Feb 1, 2016 15:12:01 GMT -5
And by the way, there is a way to block posters so you don't have to see their posts.
Greg, this isn't aimed at you, you're just the post I'm following. Rofl.
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justme
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Post by justme on Feb 1, 2016 15:41:01 GMT -5
My insight is the parents will probably never know. What teachers do outside the classroom rarely has a damn thing to do with their job.
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gregintenn
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Feb 1, 2016 15:43:27 GMT -5
Post by gregintenn on Feb 1, 2016 15:43:27 GMT -5
My insight is the parents will probably never know. What teachers do outside the classroom rarely has a damn thing to do with their job. How would one assure concerned parents they weren't teaching their children that this type behavior is acceptable. I understand you believe it is acceptable, but I assure you there will be parents who don't agree.
It will be an issue the OP needs to be ready to deal with in my opinion. I've no idea how I'd handle it were I the OP, so it made me curious how the OP would handle it.
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gregintenn
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Feb 1, 2016 15:49:47 GMT -5
Post by gregintenn on Feb 1, 2016 15:49:47 GMT -5
And by the way, there is a way to block posters so you don't have to see their posts. Greg, this isn't aimed at you, you're just the post I'm following. Rofl. Fine by me!
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