shanendoah
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Post by shanendoah on Feb 24, 2020 13:07:23 GMT -5
NomoreDramaQ1015 - I hope your DH has a good first day. And I hope you are feeling better and have a good day at work, too.
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jerseygirl
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Post by jerseygirl on Feb 24, 2020 14:46:39 GMT -5
Why is his behaviour discriminatory and not just that of an obnoxious asshole? To be able to claim it is discriminatory you are going to have to provide evidence that the reason he is treating you the way he is is related to you being a member of a protected class. Be aware discrimination cases are very difficult to prove and I would have one foot out the door already if you plan on filing one. I filed a discrimination suit against my employer and the employer was legally warned not to retaliate or even to discuss with me. I and 2 other managers at same level were passed over by promoting a young guy who was friends with VP from European head office. The young guy had worked for many years past timelines and failed to get a drug approved while I had 2 drugs approved within timelines as had the other 2 ( all of us were in 50’s - 60s so a protected group of oldies) I was successful and got a nice payoff and a much better higher paying position at another company.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Feb 24, 2020 15:16:57 GMT -5
Why is his behaviour discriminatory and not just that of an obnoxious asshole? To be able to claim it is discriminatory you are going to have to provide evidence that the reason he is treating you the way he is is related to you being a member of a protected class. Be aware discrimination cases are very difficult to prove and I would have one foot out the door already if you plan on filing one. I filed a discrimination suit against my employer and the employer was legally warned not to retaliate or even to discuss with me. I and 2 other managers at same level were passed over by promoting a young guy who was friends with VP from European head office. The young guy had worked for many years past timelines and failed to get a drug approved while I had 2 drugs approved within timelines as had the other 2 ( all of us were in 50’s - 60s so a protected group of oldies) I was successful and got a nice payoff and a much better higher paying position at another company.Key words
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jerseygirl
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Post by jerseygirl on Feb 24, 2020 16:12:40 GMT -5
Another company, correct There was no way I wanted to continue with that kid of ‘Old Boy’ environment,
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shanendoah
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Post by shanendoah on Feb 24, 2020 16:21:34 GMT -5
Ava - Please check in and let us know how things went today. Did you have the conversation with your boss?
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Ava
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Post by Ava on Feb 24, 2020 20:42:44 GMT -5
Wow, I'm exhausted.
What a day I had.
Yes, I did have the conversation but I don't like the outcome.
He denied everything, and even said I was the one who started it, that I was raising my voice at him and I was being disrespectful. I quoted negative comments he made during that exchange and he denied them. He told me there's no need to wait for next time, if I want to put a complaint to go ahead and do it now.
Well, I went back to my desk and continued working. A couple of hours later he came by to talk about a work related request, and he was back to his old self, as if nothing had happened.
I'm definitely not cut out for this sort of conversation. I find the whole situation uncomfortable and I will continue to apply for both internal and external jobs.
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Rukh O'Rorke
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Post by Rukh O'Rorke on Feb 24, 2020 20:47:59 GMT -5
So I never heard back from my request for alternate dates on the 2nd interview. That was two weeks ago so moving on. Unfortunately buzz afoot about major changes/shifts in current department operations. Super nervous....this could impact my work unit....aka....eliminate my work unit altogether. Yikes 8^| I talked myself down from the ledge on this - 'rumors", innuendos, careless comments, etc......I thought - don't borrow trouble...maybe something down the road....but it looks like this is going to happen - and pretty immediately trouble is here. More details tomorrow.....
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Rukh O'Rorke
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Post by Rukh O'Rorke on Feb 24, 2020 20:49:27 GMT -5
Wow, I'm exhausted. What a day I had. Yes, I did have the conversation but I don't like the outcome. He denied everything, and even said I was the one who started it, that I was raising my voice at him and I was being disrespectful. I quoted negative comments he made during that exchange and he denied them. He told me there's no need to wait for next time, if I want to put a complaint to go ahead and do it now. Well, I went back to my desk and continued working. A couple of hours later he came by to talk about a work related request, and he was back to his old self, as if nothing had happened. I'm definitely not cut out for this sort of conversation. I find the whole situation uncomfortable and I will continue to apply for both internal and external jobs. will you go to HR? witnesses, etc?
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Ava
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Post by Ava on Feb 24, 2020 20:57:32 GMT -5
Wow, I'm exhausted. What a day I had. Yes, I did have the conversation but I don't like the outcome. He denied everything, and even said I was the one who started it, that I was raising my voice at him and I was being disrespectful. I quoted negative comments he made during that exchange and he denied them. He told me there's no need to wait for next time, if I want to put a complaint to go ahead and do it now. Well, I went back to my desk and continued working. A couple of hours later he came by to talk about a work related request, and he was back to his old self, as if nothing had happened. I'm definitely not cut out for this sort of conversation. I find the whole situation uncomfortable and I will continue to apply for both internal and external jobs. will you go to HR? witnesses, etc? No. It's not something I would do lightly. I would continue looking for a new job and hope I'm out of there before we have another episode like the one last week.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Feb 24, 2020 21:55:24 GMT -5
In the meantime document. I had a notebook at the hospital since I did not havev a computer.
With access to one I'd use a cloud document like Google. Write date, times and a summary of what happened.
That way you are prepared should you decide to go to HR or the situation is twisted to make you the problem.
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Ava
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Post by Ava on Feb 24, 2020 22:05:03 GMT -5
So I never heard back from my request for alternate dates on the 2nd interview. That was two weeks ago so moving on. Unfortunately buzz afoot about major changes/shifts in current department operations. Super nervous....this could impact my work unit....aka....eliminate my work unit altogether. Yikes 8^| I talked myself down from the ledge on this - 'rumors", innuendos, careless comments, etc......I thought - don't borrow trouble...maybe something down the road....but it looks like this is going to happen - and pretty immediately trouble is here. More details tomorrow..... I just saw this post. So sorry.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Feb 25, 2020 6:59:13 GMT -5
So I never heard back from my request for alternate dates on the 2nd interview. That was two weeks ago so moving on. Unfortunately buzz afoot about major changes/shifts in current department operations. Super nervous....this could impact my work unit....aka....eliminate my work unit altogether. Yikes 8^| I talked myself down from the ledge on this - 'rumors", innuendos, careless comments, etc......I thought - don't borrow trouble...maybe something down the road....but it looks like this is going to happen - and pretty immediately trouble is here. More details tomorrow..... Good luck today Rukh.
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tcu2003
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Post by tcu2003 on Feb 25, 2020 13:50:25 GMT -5
Thinking about you, rukh- good luck today!
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Feb 25, 2020 15:36:14 GMT -5
Got DH's benefits package. I'd like to sign up for his dental now. It has a $2k limit for orthodontia and it covers everyone on the plan. Mine is only $1k and for children under a certain age. That would nearly cover the deposit on braces for me and I know the orthodontist I like is in network.
My health insurance is heavily subsidized by my employer and I like having an HSA. His is significantly more expensive for family coverage but the deductible is lower. His plan only offers an FSA.
I figure for that we'll see come open enrollment if United keeps screwing with the plans they offer. DH's plan would make more sense if I planned on having another kid or he needed kidney stone removal in the near future.
Plus that will give it time to see if the job sticks. Losing health insurance is a big deal. Given his history me carrying our health insurance is the wiser choice. Losing dental would suck but COBRA for dental is usually inexpensive so we could keep it if we had to.
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Feb 25, 2020 15:50:31 GMT -5
Ava I'm sorry about this. Can you apply for jobs in Miami too?
Any news Rukh? Thinking of you.
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Works4me
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Post by Works4me on Feb 25, 2020 16:11:34 GMT -5
Can you double up on the dental coverage?
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Feb 25, 2020 16:43:28 GMT -5
We will have dual coverage for the time being. His is much better though so we may switch all together come November. Price difference for family is minimal.
His is similar to the plan I had while at UNMC and I much prefer that dental coverage compared to what I have been getting with United.
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Rukh O'Rorke
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Post by Rukh O'Rorke on Feb 25, 2020 19:20:45 GMT -5
Thanks for the good thoughts everyone!
My department is going to be outsourced. At least they are talking a long transition period. I’ll have time to refi house, fix it up, get myself into a better financial position. Look for new job. Or up RI revenue. Both?
Maybe up to year for planned transition. Or two.
I don’t trust that. They want people to stay while they need them. But it isn’t happening in weeks or even 1-2 months.
I can breathe.
For a while anyway.
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Rukh O'Rorke
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Post by Rukh O'Rorke on Feb 25, 2020 21:19:22 GMT -5
ok - inside person telling me different things being said behind closed doors - what we were told is not true....
oy vey!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 25, 2020 21:30:24 GMT -5
ok - inside person telling me different things being said behind closed doors - what we were told is not true.... oy vey! What part wasn't true? The outsourcing or that it's not going to be for a year or two?
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Rukh O'Rorke
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Post by Rukh O'Rorke on Feb 25, 2020 22:11:40 GMT -5
the time line. appreciation of our work. our importance to transition. everything. the outsourcing was billed as a collaboration to us. there was talk of jobs at the new company, still doing the work, more support, etc. but we've been thrown under the bus to stakeholders to justify a deal that is supposed to save money but is going to cost a lot more than our department. someone is going to make a ton of money off this. the company is going to pay inflated costs for this. so we've been working so hard begging for more help and now we're incompetent - why would other company take us on? nothing makes sense. nothing adds up. i'll start making a todo list tomorrow. too wrung out today.
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Feb 25, 2020 22:24:06 GMT -5
I'm sorry you're facing this, Rukh O'Rorke. It sounds like you're trapped in a corporate takeover squeeze. Good for you, having RI started. It will be stressful.
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Rukh O'Rorke
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Post by Rukh O'Rorke on Feb 25, 2020 22:33:29 GMT -5
thanks finnime! Yes - it was difficult taking on the extra work - but very glad of it now.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Feb 26, 2020 5:10:34 GMT -5
Rukh - sorry work is a cluster right now. Particularly sorry that you are getting the run around.
Drama - seems like your healthcare is still the better deal. Keep comparing year by year as you know they are constantly changing sometimes significantly. Keep an open mind about switching to dh's if his becomes better. If God forbid, he were to lose his job that opens up a qualifying event window for you to switch back to yours in what should be an easy process.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Feb 26, 2020 7:20:37 GMT -5
That is really rough Rukh. I wouldn't plan on staying till the end unless your RI clients can keep things afloat long term. Did I miss it or did they offer a significant severance to those who stay? That's a hard thing to walk away from, but with it being a small industry I couldn't take the stress and would look at this as time to job hunt.
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Rukh O'Rorke
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Post by Rukh O'Rorke on Feb 26, 2020 7:39:01 GMT -5
They're offering nothing - I asked a few confrontational questions - so waiting for the next meeting to ask a few more. They act like nothing is happening - because maybe we just move to different employer. But with the lies being told - either to us or to the stakeholders, there is nothing to believe here.
No more late nights for me! No more ignoring my research.
I know that I have always worked too hard, too dedicated for what I was getting from employer. It did pay off to focus on my own integrity, my reputation in the community, with my RI clients. My rep with former employer - despite my grumping! - was golden.
I'll need to strike some balance in retaining that and focusing on resume/c.v enhancing work.
Start reaching out to my network.
I do have some time, just can't believe what they are saying so don't know how much time that is.
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buystoys
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Post by buystoys on Feb 26, 2020 8:56:24 GMT -5
Rukh O'Rorke, I'm so sorry to hear about your job difficulties. I totally understand where you are as I was in a major restructuring of a company I worked for. I ended up not having a boss for several weeks. Good thing I knew what needed to be done and just did it! I agree that it's time to refocus your energies on you. Best wishes that this all works out well for you!
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Feb 26, 2020 9:33:00 GMT -5
They may not be able to offer anything. When DH's company was bought out the higher ups were under contract to not say a word till it happened. Everybody was stuck in limbo for four months. Meanwhile they walked away with huge checks and not a care in the world. It's really unfair to the employees.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Feb 26, 2020 9:36:59 GMT -5
Rukh - sorry work is a cluster right now. Particularly sorry that you are getting the run around. Drama - seems like your healthcare is still the better deal. Keep comparing year by year as you know they are constantly changing sometimes significantly. Keep an open mind about switching to dh's if his becomes better. If God forbid, he were to lose his job that opens up a qualifying event window for you to switch back to yours in what should be an easy process. Yeah that's the plan. Mine works if we are all healthy. I have to hit the family $4k deductible before any of us are covered and I am approaching that total in the HSA. His works better if he needs another lithotripsy for kidney stones. I'd take the lower deductible/OOP max and pay a higher premium for something like that because we are not quite at a point to self finance that. His dental is WAY better. We'll dual cover for now and then I am going to drop mine in November. I want braces and we already know Gwen needs some sort of orthodontia work so that extra $1k per person goes a long way.
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NastyWoman
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Post by NastyWoman on Feb 26, 2020 12:04:01 GMT -5
They're offering nothing - I asked a few confrontational questions - so waiting for the next meeting to ask a few more. They act like nothing is happening - because maybe we just move to different employer. But with the lies being told - either to us or to the stakeholders, there is nothing to believe here. No more late nights for me! No more ignoring my research. I know that I have always worked too hard, too dedicated for what I was getting from employer. It did pay off to focus on my own integrity, my reputation in the community, with my RI clients. My rep with former employer - despite my grumping! - was golden. I'll need to strike some balance in retaining that and focusing on resume/c.v enhancing work. Start reaching out to my network. I do have some time, just can't believe what they are saying so don't know how much time that is. The way I read it is that they will not offer anything either. They keep people on by providing a longer time table than they will actually provide. The employees are lulled into a sense of safety and do not head for the door right away. Why pay for something you can get for free right? <insert angry emoji → they have now all disappeared on me>
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