zibazinski
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 16:12:50 GMT -5
Posts: 47,910
|
Post by zibazinski on Sept 24, 2015 9:42:55 GMT -5
We just honest to GOD got a baby shower invitation to someone whose wedding we went to last year My college roommates DIL and son. This is the same DIL that my college roommate kept asking me if we'd gotten a thank you note yet for the wedding gift. I finally told my roommate that maybe HER son could write thank you notes as well. Anyway I got one, looked like a 6 year old wrote it. Including misspelled names. Since its full of pink everything, I'm assuming it's a girl baby. Still can't spell btw. Are you really going to go to this shower or send a gift? I got a shower invitation a few years ago for someone named "Melissa". The return address was unrecognizable to me. I called the RSVP number and was told that this was the wife of DH's college roommate. We hadn't seen them or heard from them in 15 years since they'd been married. I asked the person how they got my name and address. She said they just randomly went through the mother-to-be's address book. I declined the invitation and "resisted the implied obligation" to send a gift. Needless to say, never got a birth announcement. Because it is my college roommate, I probably will. It'll give DH a chance to visit his aunt.
|
|
Chocolate Lover
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 15:54:19 GMT -5
Posts: 23,200
|
Post by Chocolate Lover on Sept 25, 2015 10:15:48 GMT -5
At my sisters's baby shower, they had the envelopes there for you to preaddress for your thank you cards. Nice way of getting half the work done for you. Wow, I have never seen that. Not sure how I feel about that one. To be honest, I'm not either. Being that it was my sister, who is the best ever at that kind of crap anyway.... I wasn't offended. If it'd been in practice when I had a shower, I might have been better at thank you notes. (I'm always going to be of the opinion that if I said thank you IN PERSON, I'm not sending a note, so maybe not.)
|
|
Ombud
Junior Associate
Joined: Jan 14, 2013 23:21:04 GMT -5
Posts: 7,600
|
Post by Ombud on Sept 25, 2015 10:50:08 GMT -5
Wow, I have never seen that. Not sure how I feel about that one. To be honest, I'm not either. Being that it was my sister, who is the best ever at that kind of crap anyway.... I wasn't offended. If it'd been in practice when I had a shower, I might have been better at thank you notes. I like that practice for the baby shower but nothing else. New mommies have their hands full
|
|
Chocolate Lover
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 15:54:19 GMT -5
Posts: 23,200
|
Post by Chocolate Lover on Sept 25, 2015 11:06:39 GMT -5
To be honest, I'm not either. Being that it was my sister, who is the best ever at that kind of crap anyway.... I wasn't offended. If it'd been in practice when I had a shower, I might have been better at thank you notes. I like that practice for the baby shower but nothing else. New mommies have their hands full Very true. And it was one of multiple showers given for her. (She lives out of town, this was the local friends here that wanted to do one for her. Her church at home gave one for her as did her non church friends. What a ton of notes to write.) Probably not proper in terms of etiquette, but sure does let you know how loved she it.
|
|
zibazinski
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 16:12:50 GMT -5
Posts: 47,910
|
Post by zibazinski on Sept 25, 2015 16:30:15 GMT -5
Wow, I have never seen that. Not sure how I feel about that one. To be honest, I'm not either. Being that it was my sister, who is the best ever at that kind of crap anyway.... I wasn't offended. If it'd been in practice when I had a shower, I might have been better at thank you notes. (I'm always going to be of the opinion that if I said thank you IN PERSON, I'm not sending a note, so maybe not.) Yup. That would be wrong. A verbal thank you is not enough.
|
|
zibazinski
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 16:12:50 GMT -5
Posts: 47,910
|
Post by zibazinski on Sept 25, 2015 16:32:19 GMT -5
I know it was either the dumbass DIL or someone equally stupid bcuz names spelled wrong and it's barely legible When I say it looks like a 6 year old addressed it, I'm insulting 6 year olds. I'm sure 6 year olds do better.
|
|
Chocolate Lover
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 15:54:19 GMT -5
Posts: 23,200
|
Post by Chocolate Lover on Sept 28, 2015 9:51:59 GMT -5
To be honest, I'm not either. Being that it was my sister, who is the best ever at that kind of crap anyway.... I wasn't offended. If it'd been in practice when I had a shower, I might have been better at thank you notes. (I'm always going to be of the opinion that if I said thank you IN PERSON, I'm not sending a note, so maybe not.) Yup. That would be wrong. A verbal thank you is not enough. Yep, I don't care. I don't live in Victorian England and if you're so uptight to expect a card after an in person thank you then I don't really expect to have much to do with you anyway. If you're a relative, feel free to not gift me anything.
|
|
Miss Tequila
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 10:13:45 GMT -5
Posts: 20,602
|
Post by Miss Tequila on Sept 28, 2015 12:30:35 GMT -5
Yup. That would be wrong. A verbal thank you is not enough. Yep, I don't care. I don't live in Victorian England and if you're so uptight to expect a card after an in person thank you then I don't really expect to have much to do with you anyway. If you're a relative, feel free to not gift me anything. lol! Tell us how you really feel!
Lord help me (lol) but I'm with zib on this one. A verbal thank you is not enough when a gift is given. It is time consuming to send out all of those thank you cards but less so than the time all of the gift-givers spent picking out the gifts.
On the plus side, by the time people realize you aren't going to send them a thank you it is too late...you already have their gift!
|
|
Chocolate Lover
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 15:54:19 GMT -5
Posts: 23,200
|
Post by Chocolate Lover on Sept 28, 2015 13:11:16 GMT -5
Yep, I don't care. I don't live in Victorian England and if you're so uptight to expect a card after an in person thank you then I don't really expect to have much to do with you anyway. If you're a relative, feel free to not gift me anything. lol! Tell us how you really feel!
Lord help me (lol) but I'm with zib on this one. A verbal thank you is not enough when a gift is given. It is time consuming to send out all of those thank you cards but less so than the time all of the gift-givers spent picking out the gifts.
On the plus side, by the time people realize you aren't going to send them a thank you it is too late...you already have their gift!
Stupidest thing I've ever heard. WHY? I have yet to hear one good reason why it's not adequate. I didn't require you to spend a whole lot of time shopping, that's on you. Why on earth should I spend time writing down what I said in person TO YOUR FACE? Because some etiquette rule from the 18th century (or whenever) says I should? We gave up the concept of a dowry, a few other outdated things should go too.
|
|
yogiii
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 19:38:00 GMT -5
Posts: 5,377
|
Post by yogiii on Sept 28, 2015 13:17:28 GMT -5
For something like a wedding, I would send a thank you note even if I had given an in person thank you at the event.
For something like a birthday gift or impromptu gift exchange, I really think a thank you to the face is enough (and often more genuine).
|
|
Chocolate Lover
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 15:54:19 GMT -5
Posts: 23,200
|
Post by Chocolate Lover on Sept 28, 2015 13:22:26 GMT -5
For something like a wedding, I would send a thank you note even if I had given an in person thank you at the event. For something like a birthday gift or impromptu gift exchange, I really think a thank you to the face is enough (and often more genuine). A wedding is a mass gift event and there's no way an in person thank you gets said. Thank you cards are appropriate there. But a shower or birthday party? Unless you have 100 people in attendance I am positive you can say thank you to each individual person without too much effort. After all you're all still in the same place talking to each other. Those are the ones I find the "requirement" annoying for. Insulting even. As if my making the effort to speak to you and specifically thank you wasn't worth anything.
|
|
gooddecisions
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 22, 2010 13:42:28 GMT -5
Posts: 2,418
|
Post by gooddecisions on Sept 28, 2015 13:52:05 GMT -5
For something like a wedding, I would send a thank you note even if I had given an in person thank you at the event. For something like a birthday gift or impromptu gift exchange, I really think a thank you to the face is enough (and often more genuine). A wedding is a mass gift event and there's no way an in person thank you gets said. Thank you cards are appropriate there. But a shower or birthday party? Unless you have 100 people in attendance I am positive you can say thank you to each individual person without too much effort. After all you're all still in the same place talking to each other. Those are the ones I find the "requirement" annoying for. Insulting even. As if my making the effort to speak to you and specifically thank you wasn't worth anything. I agree with you. There are plenty of events where gifts are brought in person, but not opened during the event. But, when they are opened and the recipient sees the reaction and is thanked- a separate thank you card in the mail a couple of weeks later is just silly. Please save your stamps and cards if you or your kids opened the gifts while we were there. Then again, the only time I care about a thank you card is a wedding where I'm never 100% sure there wasn't some sort of mix up. I have never been to a wedding where gifts were opened during the ceremony.
|
|
yogiii
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 19:38:00 GMT -5
Posts: 5,377
|
Post by yogiii on Sept 28, 2015 13:57:37 GMT -5
A wedding is a mass gift event and there's no way an in person thank you gets said. Thank you cards are appropriate there. But a shower or birthday party? Unless you have 100 people in attendance I am positive you can say thank you to each individual person without too much effort. After all you're all still in the same place talking to each other. Those are the ones I find the "requirement" annoying for. Insulting even. As if my making the effort to speak to you and specifically thank you wasn't worth anything. I agree with you. There are plenty of events where gifts are brought in person, but not opened during the event. But, when they are opened and the recipient sees the reaction and is thanked- a separate thank you card in the mail a couple of weeks later is just silly. Please save your stamps and cards if you or your kids opened the gifts while we were there. Then again, the only time I care about a thank you card is a wedding where I'm never 100% sure there wasn't some sort of mix up. I have never been to a wedding where gifts were opened during the ceremony. Agreed. In my comment, I was thinking of my own wedding which was small and some of the gifts were known to us beforehand. I thanked some people in person but still sent a card later to those same people. That situation would not be very common though.
|
|
milee
Senior Associate
Joined: Jan 17, 2012 13:20:00 GMT -5
Posts: 12,344
|
Post by milee on Sept 28, 2015 13:58:24 GMT -5
lol! Tell us how you really feel!
Lord help me (lol) but I'm with zib on this one. A verbal thank you is not enough when a gift is given. It is time consuming to send out all of those thank you cards but less so than the time all of the gift-givers spent picking out the gifts.
On the plus side, by the time people realize you aren't going to send them a thank you it is too late...you already have their gift!
Stupidest thing I've ever heard. WHY? I have yet to hear one good reason why it's not adequate. I didn't require you to spend a whole lot of time shopping, that's on you. Why on earth should I spend time writing down what I said in person TO YOUR FACE? Because some etiquette rule from the 18th century (or whenever) says I should? We gave up the concept of a dowry, a few other outdated things should go too. Whenever someone thanks me personally for a gift I gave them, I smile and say something like "I'm so glad you like it and I'm glad we're close enough friends for me to let you know that close friends want each other to enjoy their gift rather than spend time writing thank you notes. So if you are one of those wonderful, polite people who write thank you notes, please show me the honor of being a close enough friend that you feel you can skip writing a note. Enjoy your gift!"
I always write thank you notes and have taught my kids to do that as well, so understand and respect the etiquette. I just think it's a nice little gift to a friend to let them know that you will still be friends and think highly of them if they go ahead and enjoy their life instead of writing a thank you card.
|
|
Cookies Galore
Senior Associate
I don't need no instructions to know how to rock
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 18:08:13 GMT -5
Posts: 10,885
|
Post by Cookies Galore on Sept 28, 2015 14:07:43 GMT -5
For something like a wedding, I would send a thank you note even if I had given an in person thank you at the event. For something like a birthday gift or impromptu gift exchange, I really think a thank you to the face is enough (and often more genuine). A wedding is a mass gift event and there's no way an in person thank you gets said. Thank you cards are appropriate there. But a shower or birthday party? Unless you have 100 people in attendance I am positive you can say thank you to each individual person without too much effort. After all you're all still in the same place talking to each other. Those are the ones I find the "requirement" annoying for. Insulting even. As if my making the effort to speak to you and specifically thank you wasn't worth anything. There were about 30 or so people at my bridal shower. There is honestly not enough time to properly thank someone for buying a gift and taking a few hours out of their weekend for you. I made the effort to speak everyone there, but between making time to chat with everyone, eating, drinking, and opening gifts, there is not enough time to thank someone without it feeling rushed.
|
|
Chocolate Lover
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 15:54:19 GMT -5
Posts: 23,200
|
Post by Chocolate Lover on Sept 28, 2015 14:22:07 GMT -5
A wedding is a mass gift event and there's no way an in person thank you gets said. Thank you cards are appropriate there. But a shower or birthday party? Unless you have 100 people in attendance I am positive you can say thank you to each individual person without too much effort. After all you're all still in the same place talking to each other. Those are the ones I find the "requirement" annoying for. Insulting even. As if my making the effort to speak to you and specifically thank you wasn't worth anything. There were about 30 or so people at my bridal shower. There is honestly not enough time to properly thank someone for buying a gift and taking a few hours out of their weekend for you. I made the effort to speak everyone there, but between making time to chat with everyone, eating, drinking, and opening gifts, there is not enough time to thank someone without it feeling rushed. You guys must not lollygag around the way we do down here then.
|
|
Miss Tequila
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 10:13:45 GMT -5
Posts: 20,602
|
Post by Miss Tequila on Sept 28, 2015 14:29:48 GMT -5
lol! Tell us how you really feel!
Lord help me (lol) but I'm with zib on this one. A verbal thank you is not enough when a gift is given. It is time consuming to send out all of those thank you cards but less so than the time all of the gift-givers spent picking out the gifts.
On the plus side, by the time people realize you aren't going to send them a thank you it is too late...you already have their gift!
Stupidest thing I've ever heard. WHY? I have yet to hear one good reason why it's not adequate. I didn't require you to spend a whole lot of time shopping, that's on you. Why on earth should I spend time writing down what I said in person TO YOUR FACE? Because some etiquette rule from the 18th century (or whenever) says I should? We gave up the concept of a dowry, a few other outdated things should go too. You have your opinion and I have mine. But the "I didn't require you to spend a whole lot of time shopping, that's on you" doesn't sound all that appreciative when people do actually spend a lot of time picking out gifts and coming to honor you at your bridal/baby shower or wedding. If that is your attitude I actually wouldn't give you a gift...I would save my money for someone that did appreciate it.
I believe it is the polite and respectful thing to write out a thank you card. If a person can go through the time and effort to get me a gift and waste a few hours of their life for me, I can spend a few minutes sending them a personal note.
|
|
Anne_in_VA
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 14:09:35 GMT -5
Posts: 5,545
|
Post by Anne_in_VA on Sept 28, 2015 14:40:26 GMT -5
I hear what you all are saying about saying thank you in person, but DSD didn't even thank the gift givers at her shower. She just kept saying stuff like "Oh, how cute". I did ask her when they were going to send out the thank you'd. Got a blank stare!
|
|
Chocolate Lover
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 15:54:19 GMT -5
Posts: 23,200
|
Post by Chocolate Lover on Sept 28, 2015 15:08:35 GMT -5
Stupidest thing I've ever heard. WHY? I have yet to hear one good reason why it's not adequate. I didn't require you to spend a whole lot of time shopping, that's on you. Why on earth should I spend time writing down what I said in person TO YOUR FACE? Because some etiquette rule from the 18th century (or whenever) says I should? We gave up the concept of a dowry, a few other outdated things should go too. You have your opinion and I have mine. But the "I didn't require you to spend a whole lot of time shopping, that's on you" doesn't sound all that appreciative when people do actually spend a lot of time picking out gifts and coming to honor you at your bridal/baby shower or wedding. If that is your attitude I actually wouldn't give you a gift...I would save my money for someone that did appreciate it.
I believe it is the polite and respectful thing to write out a thank you card. If a person can go through the time and effort to get me a gift and waste a few hours of their life for me, I can spend a few minutes sending them a personal note.
First of all, *I* didn't throw myself the shower, so *I* had no expectations of you to do anything. I'd sooner be shot that stuck at one of those parties. Would I actually say that out loud to anyone who made the effort to come to my party? No. Second, I DID show my appreciation by SAYING thank you and probably a couple of other sentences about said gift. (Same length as a thank you card) Third, you're quite welcome to save your money and spend it elsewhere. I said that already. Let's not pretend these notes are personal and that the sender actually remembers what you gave them. That's why they have the person sitting next to them writing down who gave them what because no one's memory is that good. That's not personal. To me, it feels less personal than the actual thank you said.
|
|
Chocolate Lover
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 15:54:19 GMT -5
Posts: 23,200
|
Post by Chocolate Lover on Sept 28, 2015 15:13:27 GMT -5
Stupidest thing I've ever heard. WHY? I have yet to hear one good reason why it's not adequate. I didn't require you to spend a whole lot of time shopping, that's on you. Why on earth should I spend time writing down what I said in person TO YOUR FACE? Because some etiquette rule from the 18th century (or whenever) says I should? We gave up the concept of a dowry, a few other outdated things should go too. Because taking the time out of your busy schedule to show you are appreciative for a gift that another person gave you is a nice thing to do. Because verbal thank you's are often perfunctory. Because in a note I can express in more detail why I appreciate the gift Because it's nice to get something handwritten from a friend of family member in the mail I could probably go on Because someone said you had to. Because you get judged and belittled by the petty when you don't. Not one thank you note I have ever received has sounded sincere. It sounds hurried and like they referred to their list of gifts. For gifts not opened in front of the giver, by all means, send a note. But otherwise, it's a waste of time. I assume ALL of you send thank you notes to all your family members after Christmas? Spouses/SOs included?
|
|
Miss Tequila
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 10:13:45 GMT -5
Posts: 20,602
|
Post by Miss Tequila on Sept 28, 2015 15:23:13 GMT -5
Stupidest thing I've ever heard. WHY? I have yet to hear one good reason why it's not adequate. I didn't require you to spend a whole lot of time shopping, that's on you. Why on earth should I spend time writing down what I said in person TO YOUR FACE? Because some etiquette rule from the 18th century (or whenever) says I should? We gave up the concept of a dowry, a few other outdated things should go too. Because taking the time out of your busy schedule to show you are appreciative for a gift that another person gave you is a nice thing to do. Because verbal thank you's are often perfunctory. Because in a note I can express in more detail why I appreciate the gift Because it's nice to get something handwritten from a friend of family member in the mail I could probably go on I agree completely.
|
|
Miss Tequila
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 10:13:45 GMT -5
Posts: 20,602
|
Post by Miss Tequila on Sept 28, 2015 15:24:39 GMT -5
Because taking the time out of your busy schedule to show you are appreciative for a gift that another person gave you is a nice thing to do. Because verbal thank you's are often perfunctory. Because in a note I can express in more detail why I appreciate the gift Because it's nice to get something handwritten from a friend of family member in the mail I could probably go on Because someone said you had to. Because you get judged and belittled by the petty when you don't. Not one thank you note I have ever received has sounded sincere. It sounds hurried and like they referred to their list of gifts. For gifts not opened in front of the giver, by all means, send a note. But otherwise, it's a waste of time. I assume ALL of you send thank you notes to all your family members after Christmas? Spouses/SOs included? I haven't exchanged Christmas gifts in years. I had a surprise 40th birthday party and I did send thank you cards to everyone. I felt blessed to have people care enough about me to take time out of the busy lives to come celebrate with me....the gifts were just icing on the case.
Of course I thanked everyone in person but also sent them thank you cards.
ETA: When I wrote out my thank you cards from my baby shower and wedding shower, I tried to personalize each one the best I could. It took me awhile to get them all out because I didn't just blow through them.
|
|
zibazinski
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 16:12:50 GMT -5
Posts: 47,910
|
Post by zibazinski on Sept 28, 2015 15:27:50 GMT -5
Yes, well, we just gifted a very expensive bottle of wine as well as made a large donation the charity of their choice as requested to a wedding we didn't attend over a month ago. As of yet, no thank you. They asked for donations instead of gifts and they fancy themselves brilliant wine experts. Although they had a small wedding , that doesn't excuse no thank yous being written. I'm sure this DIL was raised by wolves which makes my old roommate cringe with embarrassment. She had hoped her son was going to divorce her, looks like her DIL had other plans. I'm not over the moon about either person my children are dating but at least they have manners and some upbringing. I wouldn't have to cringe in shame at their lack of manners and class. Because it then would reflect on how I raised my children that they dated/married someone so poorly raised.
|
|
Cookies Galore
Senior Associate
I don't need no instructions to know how to rock
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 18:08:13 GMT -5
Posts: 10,885
|
Post by Cookies Galore on Sept 28, 2015 15:28:43 GMT -5
Because taking the time out of your busy schedule to show you are appreciative for a gift that another person gave you is a nice thing to do. Because verbal thank you's are often perfunctory. Because in a note I can express in more detail why I appreciate the gift Because it's nice to get something handwritten from a friend of family member in the mail I could probably go on Because someone said you had to. Because you get judged and belittled by the petty when you don't. Not one thank you note I have ever received has sounded sincere. It sounds hurried and like they referred to their list of gifts. For gifts not opened in front of the giver, by all means, send a note. But otherwise, it's a waste of time. I assume ALL of you send thank you notes to all your family members after Christmas? Spouses/SOs included? If someone threw a Christmas party in my honor and invited my close friends and family to give me Christmas presents, then sure.
|
|
Miss Tequila
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 10:13:45 GMT -5
Posts: 20,602
|
Post by Miss Tequila on Sept 28, 2015 15:30:46 GMT -5
Yes, well, we just gifted a very expensive bottle of wine as well as made a large donation the charity of their choice as requested to a wedding we didn't attend over a month ago. As of yet, no thank you. They asked for donations instead of gifts and they fancy themselves brilliant wine experts. Although they had a small wedding , that doesn't excuse no thank yous being written. I'm sure this DIL was raised by wolves which makes my old roommate cringe with embarrassment. She had hoped her son was going to divorce her, looks like her DIL had other plans. I'm not over the moon about either person my children are dating but at least they have manners and some upbringing. I wouldn't have to cringe in shame at their lack of manners and class. Because it then would reflect on how I raised my children that they dated/married someone so poorly raised. Give them time. FFS, I took a two week honeymoon so it isn't like I got the thank you cards out the next day!
I'm so confused, though...if she is already the DIL how was the son going to divorce her?
|
|
zibazinski
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 16:12:50 GMT -5
Posts: 47,910
|
Post by zibazinski on Sept 28, 2015 15:34:49 GMT -5
Btw, I also write thank yous as well bring a hostess gift to people who host parties. If someone is gracious enough to open their home to guests, it's gracious to acknowledge it. Bad manners is just an excuse for laziness.
|
|
zibazinski
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 16:12:50 GMT -5
Posts: 47,910
|
Post by zibazinski on Sept 28, 2015 15:38:14 GMT -5
Yes, well, we just gifted a very expensive bottle of wine as well as made a large donation the charity of their choice as requested to a wedding we didn't attend over a month ago. As of yet, no thank you. They asked for donations instead of gifts and they fancy themselves brilliant wine experts. Although they had a small wedding , that doesn't excuse no thank yous being written. I'm sure this DIL was raised by wolves which makes my old roommate cringe with embarrassment. She had hoped her son was going to divorce her, looks like her DIL had other plans. I'm not over the moon about either person my children are dating but at least they have manners and some upbringing. I wouldn't have to cringe in shame at their lack of manners and class. Because it then would reflect on how I raised my children that they dated/married someone so poorly raised. Give them time. FFS, I took a two week honeymoon so it isn't like I got the thank you cards out the next day!
I'm so confused, though...if she is already the DIL how was the son going to divorce her?
My girlfriend said her DIL left her husband, my girlfriend's son and moved back home. She was thrilled bcuz she didn't like DIL. Somehow there was a reconciliation of some sort bcuz DIL now pregnant. Sad girlfriend. Glad it's not me.
|
|
Chocolate Lover
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 15:54:19 GMT -5
Posts: 23,200
|
Post by Chocolate Lover on Sept 28, 2015 15:45:00 GMT -5
Because someone said you had to. Because you get judged and belittled by the petty when you don't. Not one thank you note I have ever received has sounded sincere. It sounds hurried and like they referred to their list of gifts. For gifts not opened in front of the giver, by all means, send a note. But otherwise, it's a waste of time. I assume ALL of you send thank you notes to all your family members after Christmas? Spouses/SOs included?Immediate family no, but there is a phone call. Extended family yes. This is for gifts received in person? Again, why? Do you think they're so dumb they don't recall you thanked them? Even my cards of all kinds happy sister doesn't send thank yous for Christmas gifts she received in person. Should I assume she thought my gift wasn't worth the stamp? I'm all for good manners but some of this is way overboard.
|
|
jelloshots4all
Senior Member
Joined: Aug 14, 2013 15:54:13 GMT -5
Posts: 4,642
|
Post by jelloshots4all on Sept 28, 2015 21:30:24 GMT -5
I haven't written a thank you note in years, but also have not had a major event such as a wedding, baby, etc. I do send an email or a text as a thank you even if I have thanked them in person.
Society has changed. I will take wine/a gift to a friends birthday celebration, but never expect a formal thank you. I am also not spending a ton of money, and I like to give gifts. Granted these are informal occasions and I am just thankful to be able to spend time with my friends as we all lead incredibly hectic lives with work, kids, etc.
I would never be upset with a friend because I did not receive a formal thank you note.
Just my 2 cents and maybe it's more of a generational thing. I'm mid 40's.
|
|
mmhmm
Administrator
It's a great pity the right of free speech isn't based on the obligation to say something sensible.
Joined: Dec 25, 2010 18:13:34 GMT -5
Posts: 31,770
Today's Mood: Saddened by Events
Location: Memory Lane
Favorite Drink: Water
|
Post by mmhmm on Sept 28, 2015 21:49:15 GMT -5
There were about 30 or so people at my bridal shower. There is honestly not enough time to properly thank someone for buying a gift and taking a few hours out of their weekend for you. I made the effort to speak everyone there, but between making time to chat with everyone, eating, drinking, and opening gifts, there is not enough time to thank someone without it feeling rushed. You guys must not lollygag around the way we do down here then. I think the south is different in some ways. You've hit on one of them. Showers here are full of hugging, and thanking, and eating, and thanking, and gift-giving/receiving, and hugging, and thanking. It can go on for days!
|
|