pammy831
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Post by pammy831 on Mar 11, 2011 21:33:45 GMT -5
I had a really bad day at work today and I am looking for some advice. I am currently a part-time teller at a bank. My DH is active duty military and is currently in Afghanistan. He will be coming home for 2 weeks for a mid-tour leave. He will be arriving here in the states probably Monday or Tuesday. At least 3 months ago, I asked my supervisor at work if I could have the time off while my husband's home to be with him. They said that that wouldn't be a problem. Well, the assistant manager lays on me today that I have to work the Saturdays while he's home because there will only be 3 tellers and there's nothing else she can do. I think I'm just going to quit tomorrow. This is a temporary job anyway because I have to move and go back to TN in July when he returns from deployment anyway. In addition, I don't love working in the bank and don't really plan on pursuing this same line of work during my next job hunt. Finally, I am so disgusted at their ability to not only lie to me but to be so heartless when it comes to a soldier coming home from Afghanistan who wants to spend time with his wife while he can. Do you all think I'm a bad person for just wanting to quit?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 11, 2011 21:43:44 GMT -5
I would not feel at all loyal to a part time temp job, especially if they broke an agreement. I wouldn't be mad or angry about it though, i'd write a letter of resignation that you are sorry to have to leave on such short notice, but given that the promised time off did not materialize, you were left with no real choice in the matter.
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Post by Savoir Faire-Demogague in NJ on Mar 11, 2011 21:49:52 GMT -5
I agree with Oped who is spot on. Sheesh, you have not seen your husband in months, and you need a few days off to be with him. Sheesh, what a sucky place to work.
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tcu2003
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Post by tcu2003 on Mar 11, 2011 21:54:46 GMT -5
I wouldn't feel guilty. You gave them plenty of advance notice, and since they broke their end of the bargain, I'd not feel bad at all about resigning with limited/no notice. Though as oped suggested, I'd probably turn in a resignation letter similar to what she said.
And my cousin used to be an assistant branch manager for a bank - they just need to schedule someone else for Saturday - then they wouldn't be shorthanded.
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schildi
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Post by schildi on Mar 11, 2011 21:57:31 GMT -5
No, I don't think you are a bad person for wanting to quit. This is simply your choice. But I also don't think that the request to work Saturdays only is necessarily all that bad either (if they have no other way to fill the position on those days - it would be different if they had other choices). But no, I would not feel guilty either if you decide to quit.
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share88
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Post by share88 on Mar 11, 2011 22:56:50 GMT -5
Hmm, what will you live on if you quit?
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Post by kristi28 on Mar 12, 2011 0:16:16 GMT -5
Some years ago when I was working in retail, I was put in a similar situation (I had asked for time off long in advance, and was informed right before the time in question that I couldn't have it, as they had no-one else).
I wrote up a letter of resignation, and asked to meet with my supervisor in private. I told her how much I enjoyed working for her, and then I told her that I was going to be gone the days in question. I gave her the letter, and told her that it was up to her to determine if I came back after my days off or not. I expected to be told never to come back, but I ended up working for her for almost two more years. I was a good employee and she decided that a few days off weren't worth losing me over.
Whatever you decide, enjoy those few precious days with your DH!
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bobosensei
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Post by bobosensei on Mar 12, 2011 2:18:53 GMT -5
I have mixed feelings about this. I'm a fellow working military spouse. My DH is currently on this third 12 month tour overseas and I have always worked while he has been gone. While we have had luck with R&R (I've always worked at places that were super military friendly - or in positions where I was not easily replaced), I have been in the position where I missed time off with him during leave right before or right after deployment. My DH supports my decision to work so he is okay with this. Honestly it gives him time to play golf, hang out with single buddies, visit family, or anything else I just may not feel like doing with him.
I've found the longer we've been married and the more times he has been deployed the more we are okay when we have to miss one of his days off together. We would never have me quit a good job over having to work a few Saturdays while he was home. DH would simply find something else to do then. And I think DH likes that because then he feels no guilt for doing things that he wants to do. But in your case it doesn't seem like this is considered a good job for you.
I say ask your DH and see how big of a deal this will be to him. You have to think of how long the time will seem once he is back in Afghanistan and you are left with no job to help fill the time and less money to entertain yourself, etc. That time right after R&R just seems to drag on and on to me.
Is this your first deployment together? R&R is definitely an exciting time, but usually the soldier does not want to "do" a whole lot. My first R&R with DH was disappointing because he really wanted to just relax around the house while I wanted to get out and do things. DH didn't want to be around many other people and he had anxiety while I drove in heavy city traffic which kept us home a lot more than I would have liked.
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suziq38
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Post by suziq38 on Mar 12, 2011 2:22:31 GMT -5
compromise. Ask for the first Saturday off. then work Saturdays if you need the job. If you can afford to do without the money, just give your two weeks' notice. Be pleasant.
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azphx1972
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Post by azphx1972 on Mar 12, 2011 3:38:34 GMT -5
What about calling in sick? The worst they can do is fire you, but there's a chance they won't, and then you'll have gotten what you wanted as far as the time off is concerned.
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cronewitch
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Post by cronewitch on Mar 12, 2011 3:45:38 GMT -5
Tell them you can't work the Saturdays since you have other plans. If they fire you apply for unemployment, not cancelling your planned vacation shouldn't be grounds for not getting unemployment.
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Post by cytoglycerine on Mar 12, 2011 7:20:15 GMT -5
the assistant manager lays on me today that I have to work the Saturdays while he's home because there will only be 3 tellers and there's nothing else she can do. Nothing else she can do?? If I understand the timeline in your post, your Hubby doesn't come home for a couple more days (the 14th or 15th of March), which means the two Saturdays you'd like off are the 19th and the 26th...Seriously they can't come up with a replacement to work a couple hours in 7 and/or 14 days from now? Really?!? Lame. I don't buy for a minute that there's "nothing they CAN do"...I bet they just don't feel it's necessary to follow through and give what was promised to you. Also, you said you talked to your Supervisor about this, who said it would be fine, but now it's the Assistant Mgr who's giving you a tough time...Do you happen to have it in writing from your Supervisor (like an email??) saying that it would be okay, or was it just a verbal promise? Either way, sounds like there's some serious communication issues at your branch. If I were your Supervisor and I had promised you the days off, and somehow the Assistant Mgr wasn't aware of it or didn't approve, I would do whatever I could to fill the shift so you could have it off as agreed. And if that didn't work, I would probably volunteer to work your shifts because otherwise, I would feel waaaay too bad making you work! But I'm guessing your Supervisor isn't too keen on sticking out their neck to the boss and saying "Uhh boss? I kinda told Pammy she could have these days off to be with her Hubby...what can we do to make this work?" We would never have me quit a good job over having to work a few Saturdays while he was home. If it actually was a good job, I'd agree and say the same thing. But this doesn't sound like a very nice place to work at all. And it was only meant to be a part-time, temporary job, not a permanent career. Why give up precious time (that you were promised you could have off BTW) so you can work at a place where you aren't respected, you're probably paid garbage, and don't even really like the job to begin with. If OP was having trouble putting food on the table or paying the bills, then yeah, I'd say suck it up...But that doesn't appear to be the case. If I were in Pammy's position, I'd walk too.
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achelois
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Post by achelois on Mar 12, 2011 7:54:12 GMT -5
I agree with both schildi and bobosensei.
Your choice to stay or go without guilt. The bank is a business and schedules according to its needs. While it is nice if a business can accomodate employees' personal lives, it cannot do so for everything for everybody.
For you, it is your husband's return. For someone else it may be a party or a graduation or an anniversay that is of the utmost importance to them. All valid emotions to the person.
In my experience, most employers do what they can to accomodate whenever possible or at least allow the employees to trade workdays. But if they cannot and if the other employees are not willing to trade, the originally-scheduled employee has the obligation.
You can choose to work or quit depending on how much you want or need the job versus the Saturday with your husband. Most banks, I thought, were open only half-days on Saturdays, anyway?
Maybe your hubby, as much as, I am sure, he wants to see you, would like a couple hours by himself in a nice safe place just to veg out without any obligation to anyone other than himself.
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qofcc
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Post by qofcc on Mar 12, 2011 8:00:55 GMT -5
I would write a very polite letter to the highest ranking person at the branch or the corporate HR office if there is one and explain that you are taking your scheduled time off as planned to be with your husband who will be home on leave from the war and that if they feel the need to terminate you to please let you know ASAP. Don't resign, make it their decision, so you can collect unemployment.
Most companies don't want to lay off people if they don't have to. When employees file unemployment claims it either makes their unemployment insurance rates go up or they have to pay to fight it.
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Post by kadee on Mar 12, 2011 8:05:09 GMT -5
Take a look at your priorities.... In mine, family comes in WAY ahead of a part-time, temporary job!
But I would do like several have suggested and type up a resignation. Never hurts to CYA! ;D
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Agatha
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Post by Agatha on Mar 12, 2011 9:19:50 GMT -5
I have a stupid question since I have seen this before at other jobs. If this involves just two Saturdays and, I'm thinking, not a full eight hour day, what is stopping one of the managerial staff from simply stepping in and filling in for those two days? Where I have worked in the past doing such has always been in the supervisor's job description yet never, ever implemented. Overtime? Nah, they were salaried, not hourly.
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Post by katedenorm on Mar 12, 2011 10:12:22 GMT -5
Why will the manager be at home? His/her day off?
Seems to me if they are in charge and are aware of your request it should be up to them to step up and handle the shortage.
Temp, part time and a military leave - don't feel guilty...just cover your bases. You don't want to have a bad reference from them. And although it may be illegal - it happens.
Good luck and be sure to thank your hubby for the time he has served for all of us.
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qofcc
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Post by qofcc on Mar 12, 2011 10:29:14 GMT -5
One more thought... if you handle this professionally, you have a good shot at being able to take the time off AND keep the job. It would cost them way more to train someone to replace you than to find someone to cover for you for 8-16 hours and if they're that short on help, firing you with no notice is going to cause them more problems than it will solve. Since it sounds like you don't need the paycheck that badly, this seems like a reasonable gamble to take.
But if you are unprofessional about the situation, they're going to try to get rid of you at the earliest possible moment and you won't be able to use them as a reference.
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suziq38
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Post by suziq38 on Mar 12, 2011 11:02:55 GMT -5
I think that management is not being very sensitive to our military families. That is a big no-no. I usually hate making exceptions, but this would be one that I would support. Time off while DH is at home.
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Mar 12, 2011 12:09:45 GMT -5
I would do exactly what Kristi did, what do you have to loose??
Two things; One - I have less than zero respect for people who don't keep their word, so that mgr is already in the wrong, IMHO. And if she did break her word, she should be apologizing to you and ASKING you if you can work, instead of telling you. Second - may be a bit too much, but I would look her in the eyes and ask her does she not realize what it entails to be a soldier in Afghanistan right now and is she really not getting the whole "my husband is home" thing???
I just don't get people.......
Lena
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Gardening Grandma
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Post by Gardening Grandma on Mar 12, 2011 13:21:11 GMT -5
1) No, I don't think you are a bad person for wanting to quit. 2) Who is higher in rank? The supervisor who said, "yes" or the assistant manager who said "no"? (My guess is that the assistant manager..) 3) It seems to me that you have three routes: one is to very nicely and professionally let them know that you won't be there on the days in question. Then the ball is in their court as to whether to fire you or let you have the time off. Another is to, again very nicely and professionally, resign stating your reason. The third is to work the days in question.
It appears from your post that the time off is your priority, so the third option may be off the table. Whether you choose to resign or make them decide, definitely keep your cool, be very professional, but firm. If they fire you, you can apply for UE. Just resist the urge to tell them off - that never is a good idea in the long run.
PS - My thanks to your hubby for his service.
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DVM gone riding
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Post by DVM gone riding on Mar 12, 2011 13:58:47 GMT -5
aren't sat at banks half days?? I wouldn't quit a job over two half days if they were giving me the rest of the week off as requested. But that is just me and I agree with the poster that said your DH might like a little time to hang out with buddies.
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formerexpat
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Post by formerexpat on Mar 12, 2011 15:50:22 GMT -5
I wouldn't bother with this job. Irrespective of promised or not promised time off, if a company and/or managers don't understand the importance of this time with your husband then they can go F themselves.
We had an employee whose husband was active military and came home at the absolute worst time for us work wise [our busiest time is from January through March].
We gave her the time off, fully paid [not counting against time off] and brought in a temp at $50 an hour to complete her work. Some actions are just the right thing to do.
Thanks to your husband for serving our country and thanks to you for the sacrifices you make as a military wife.
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pammy831
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Post by pammy831 on Mar 12, 2011 16:26:51 GMT -5
Well, last night I was all gung ho on giving my notice today and flat out quitting. After sleeping on it, I realized that I was going to do that because I just hate confrontation SO much. Well, today while at work, I actually grew some stones, some how, some way LOL. I went into the assistant manager's office and I said, "Well, you're not gonna like this, but I talked to my husband last night, and if I'm gonna have to work the Saturdays, then I'm just going to have to quit." She said, "Well, we really need you because we'll only have 3 people on those Saturdays. I'm just trying to run a business." So I said, "I understand that and that's fine, but this is the most important thing to me above anything else and that's just how it is." So then she said she would talk to her boss, our branch manager, on Monday about it and that she'd have the branch manager give me a call about it. I am anxiously awaiting to see what they have to say lol. Regardless of what they say, I'm glad I decided to do it this way instead of just blowing up about it.
Thank you so much to everyone who supported me in this. It really helped give me the confidence to know that I am doing the right thing for myself and my family!
Kristi28: It looks like I did something very similar to what you did. We’ll see if I have a similar outcome lol.
Bobo: Respectfully, I’m very surprised to hear that you’re a fellow military spouse but that you have mixed feelings about this. I am definitely no newbie to this. This is my husband’s third year long tour as well. I definitely don’t feel less of a desire to spend that precious time with him the longer we’re together. It probably increases actually. We really aren’t the type of people that do many things without each other. In addition, I have no idea what branch your DH is in and what he does, but my DH is active duty Army and is in a combat MOS. His unit has lost 10 soldiers since they deployed in August. While I try to avoid thinking this way at all costs, the time I get to spend with him could never be replaced if something were to happen to him. If I end up quitting, I will most likely move back to TN sooner and probably start looking for a new job down there. I miss my friends down there very badly anyway.
Cytoglycerine: I agree with you. I think she is feeding me a line of BS. All the other girls at the bank like to say that the assistant manager has control issues, and this does sound like a perfect example of her just trying to flaunt her power. The assistant manager has priority over the supervisor, and my supervisor is the one who makes the schedule, so they must have already gotten together and decided to put me on the schedule for the weekends. The last part of your post was absolutely perfect lol. It’s not a nice place to work, the people aren’t my favorite, the pay is barely above minimum wage, and there’s no way in hell that place is worth losing time with DH lol.
K66: Sounds like our priorities are right in line with one another lol.
Agathas: I guess they couldn’t fill in for me because they’re not “tellers” and can’t/won’t do a teller’s job.
Formerexpat: I need to come get a job with you! lol
Thank you to everyone for their support for DH and for advocating for us to have the time together. When Monday comes along, no matter what the outcome, I feel like saying something to them along the lines of, “I know you don’t understand and you never will, but it’s not like my husband is just off on a business trip, he’s in a war zone!!!” I think it’s very easy for people to just ignore the reality of things like that because it’s not convenient for them. Hopefully they will become less heartless and let me have the time off, but even if they do, it will be hard for me to forget what they tried to pull over on me, which means I won’t feel bad spreading the news around town while hoping that this prompts some people to just decide to take their business elsewhere lol.
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azphx1972
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Post by azphx1972 on Mar 12, 2011 17:41:31 GMT -5
Pammy, good for you! Either way, you will feel good about having done the right thing. I'm hoping someone at that bank has a few functioning brain cells, and will figure out a way to make things work for all concerned.
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schildi
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Post by schildi on Mar 12, 2011 18:32:03 GMT -5
I think you did the right thing. We had an employee whose husband was active military and came home at the absolute worst time for us work wise [our busiest time is from January through March]. We gave her the time off, fully paid [not counting against time off] and brought in a temp at $50 an hour to complete her work. Some actions are just the right thing to do. Wow, that's a lot of special accommodations! Does your company do that only for Military, or as well for other (similarly important) reasons? I need to change jobs, maybe!
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busymom
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Post by busymom on Mar 12, 2011 18:37:48 GMT -5
Hey, let us know which bank it is (if they're national) if they decide to cut you loose. No use patronizing a bank that is unfriendly to military families. Best of luck to you, and God Bless your husband for his service to our country!
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pammy831
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Post by pammy831 on Mar 12, 2011 18:43:40 GMT -5
Thanks again!
The bank is currently called Centra Bank. It's located in Fayette County, PA, Monongalia County, WV, and the Hagerstown, MD area. However, it was just bought out a couple months ago and is going through the transition of becoming United Bank. There are many United Banks, but this one is headquartered in Parkersburg, WV and currently has branches throughout WV and around Washington, DC.
My poor, sweet Dad. He was so mad when he found out that he made a sign and said he was going to post this msg all around where we live: "CENTRA/UNITED BANK WON'T GIVE EMPLOYEE PROMISED TIME OFF TO BE WITH DEPLOYED US MILITARY SOLDIER HUSBAND FIGHTING FOR OUR FREEDOM." He made me cry with that one lol.
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schildi
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Post by schildi on Mar 12, 2011 18:44:58 GMT -5
No use patronizing a bank that is unfriendly to military families. I don't know, but I would not call this "unfriendly" without knowing (a lot) more details. I mean, the OP did get the two weeks off, we are talking about two half-day Saturdays, right? It is 100% up to Pammy what to do in this case, but avoiding a bank for this?
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busymom
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Post by busymom on Mar 12, 2011 18:56:57 GMT -5
Perhaps because of so many who have served in the military in both my family & in DH's, I have special reverence for those who are willing to go overseas or do whatever the US military asks of them. If Pammy's company told her months ago that she could have the time off, (& more than likely her DH will be deployed for over a year) she should get the time off with no whining from her employer. That's my definition of "unfriendly" if her employer goes back on their word.
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