Interventions....

[TheHaitian]

What is your take on it? Meh? Worth it?
Have you ever had one? Outcome?

[wvugurl26]

They had one of my stepbrothers legally committed to alcohol rehab. Didn't work. He died a couple weeks ago in hospice care clutching a vodka bottle.

I think it could work in certain situations but the person has to be ready and willing to change.

[TheHaitian]

Jun 15, 2015 6:40:39 GMT -5 wvugurl26 said:

They had one of my stepbrothers legally committed to alcohol rehab. Didn't work. He died a couple weeks ago in hospice care clutching a vodka bottle.

I think it could work in certain situations but the person has to be ready and willing to change.

My condolences

[giramomma]

Never had one.

I'm not sure I'm sold on them. According to here, though they work well
ncadd.org/get-help/intervention

I personally only believe that someone gets addiction help when they are ready to be sober and really change. I think this can happen without an intervention, and I'm not sure family can make someone else feel the need for change.

[wvugurl26]

Jun 15, 2015 6:43:06 GMT -5 TheHaitian said:

Jun 15, 2015 6:40:39 GMT -5 wvugurl26 said:

They had one of my stepbrothers legally committed to alcohol rehab. Didn't work. He died a couple weeks ago in hospice care clutching a vodka bottle.

I think it could work in certain situations but the person has to be ready and willing to change.

My condolences

Thank you. I believe you can't help people who don't want help. He's free of whatever demons were haunting him.

[happyhoix]

I agree that they only work when people want to change.

I've known some people with issues who have been an addict for so long, and/or have mental health issues on top of the addiction, to the point that they don't consider what they are doing wrong and abnormal. Those kinds of people either won't go into treatment in the first place, or they'll go to get people off their backs but then won't last more than a week or two before they're back at it again.

My oldest sister is a good example. She was living in really horrifying (filthy hoarder, house literally falling to pieces) conditions and yet liked to make fun of friends/family members who had much smaller problems. In her mind, her house was fine, she was fine, and she was doing much, much better than most of the other people she knew.

For people like that, who don't have a grasp on reality, an intervention would be useless.

[billisonboard]

Jun 15, 2015 7:33:56 GMT -5 happyhoix said:

..., and/or have mental health issues on top of the addiction, ...

I think of it as the other way; drugs/alcohol are used to deal with the mental health issues. Simply taking them away didn't solve the problem so of course people go back to self medicating.

[Bonny]

Jun 15, 2015 8:16:19 GMT -5 billisonboard said:

Jun 15, 2015 7:33:56 GMT -5 happyhoix said:

..., and/or have mental health issues on top of the addiction, ...

I think of it as the other way; drugs/alcohol are used to deal with the mental health issues. Simply taking them away didn't solve the problem so of course people go back to self medicating.

This has been my observation as well.

[NancysSummerSip]

Jun 15, 2015 6:40:39 GMT -5 wvugurl26 said:

They had one of my stepbrothers legally committed to alcohol rehab. Didn't work. He died a couple weeks ago in hospice care clutching a vodka bottle.

I think it could work in certain situations but the person has to be ready and willing to change.

for you, and I agree. A cousin of mine was put through an intervention for drug use. He committed suicide while continuing to not only use, but sell the stuff. Unless the absolute bottom-line desire is there to want to live clean, all the intervention on earth does not help.

[TheHaitian]

No addictions... At least not yet

Mental illness is the worry -> bi-polar

[Sam_2.0]

Jun 15, 2015 8:53:25 GMT -5 TheHaitian said:

No addictions... At least not yet

Mental illness is the worry -> bi-polar

I've seen that lead to many attempts at self-medication. I hope the one you love is able to get help before they get to that point. It depends on your relationship with them and if they are ready to get help. Could you line up a counselor/psychiatrist that is compatible with their insurance plan and set up an appointment? Sometimes just getting that far is a big hurdle. KNowing there is help to even start the ball rolling would make a difference.

[bean29]

Carl,

My brother was able to talk to my Dad about how he felt>agitated, thoughts racing etc. and get him to agree to go into the hospital to get his meds readjusted.

Before my brother was old enough to do this, his male cousin (spouse of Dad's cousin) or one of the priests from his church could do this. My parents were very religious. My parents had a pretty strong marriage too, but when Dad was in the throes of mental illness he frequently talked about divorce. One of the caregivers once told my Mom that Dad knew his behavior was off and therefore he was legitimately afraid that my Mom would get fed up and leave him.

Go peek at the website for the Alliance for the Mentally Ill and see if there is any advice for this situation. NAMI.org.

[Phoenix84]

Jun 15, 2015 6:53:48 GMT -5 wvugurl26 said:

Jun 15, 2015 6:43:06 GMT -5 TheHaitian said:

My condolences

Thank you. I believe you can't help people who don't want help. He's free of whatever demons were haunting him.

It's hard to believe someone can literally drink themselves to death. Is it a form of suicide? Or is it they're so far down the rabbit hole of their own mind the don't know what's going on?

[happyhoix]

Jun 15, 2015 10:17:40 GMT -5 Phoenix84 said:

Jun 15, 2015 6:53:48 GMT -5 wvugurl26 said:

Thank you. I believe you can't help people who don't want help. He's free of whatever demons were haunting him.

It's hard to believe someone can literally drink themselves to death. Is it a form of suicide? Or is it they're so far down the rabbit hole of their own mind the don't know what's going on?

I think with alcohol you get to the point that you wake up in the morning literally shaking and ill and you have to drink in order to calm the nausea and tremors. You stop drinking to feel good and start drinking to not feel bad. Detoxing is apparently horrendous, so people are afraid to do that, too. Sadly I think people get into this rut where they can't imagine any way out except to continue drinking in order not to be sick. Very tragic.

On some of these reality shows, they have people who consume tremendous amounts of alcohol a day - amounts that ought to kill you. It's amazing what human bodies can develop a tolerance to.

[wvugurl26]

Jun 15, 2015 10:17:40 GMT -5 Phoenix84 said:

Jun 15, 2015 6:53:48 GMT -5 wvugurl26 said:

Thank you. I believe you can't help people who don't want help. He's free of whatever demons were haunting him.

It's hard to believe someone can literally drink themselves to death. Is it a form of suicide? Or is it they're so far down the rabbit hole of their own mind the don't know what's going on?

I guess it could be a form of suicide. If you drink that heavily for that long then eventually your body can't take the abuse anymore and starts shutting down. My stepbrother had end stage renal disease. His kidneys were shutting down. He was in his early 50s and had drank heavily for years to the point he was too weak to walk at times.

[Deleted]

Has anyone talked to the person individually yet? Do they recognize that they are sometimes out of control? I think it would be extraordinarily upsetting to have a group of people addressing a mental health issue on a surprise basis. 

[Deleted]

My older bro died @ 50 from alcohol addiction, in '03. He had had a problem with alcohol since his late teen years. Had several rehab placements, he'd be good for, I wanna say, like a year and then revert back to drinking. Functioning alcoholic as he remained employed all the way up until the last year before he passed. He left journals that my sister said were the saddest thing she'd ever read...she wouldn't let anyone else in the family read them. I'm glad that I didn't read them, now. We all tried (5 sibs) to help him multiple, multiple times, but he remained resolute in keeping a wall up and would deliberately stay away from most family gatherings most times.

I went to a pyschic once and when I showed her a pic of him, she was quite moved. She just kept saying "so sad, oh my...sooo sad....to be that depressed." Apparently, she said, he never got over our mom's death (she was buried on brother's 14th bday) and felt guilty somehow over it. (I do remember mom yelling at him when he would continually come in past his curfew at that time...dad worked graveyard shift...with 6 kids they both had to work; she worked day shift...this was '66-67...he was born in '53.)

Just a very sad addiction, and one I intentionally stayed away from as it runs in my family. Rest in peace big brother 
 

[Shooby]

I don't think addicts can really know if they want to change until they have a period of sobriety. The addicted brain cant make good decisions. I think that if an addict agrees to go to treatment for 30 days or 90 or whatever that if they enter they should be forced to complete that time , even if they have to be locked in a rubber room. There should be no option to walk out.

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

I don't think addicts can really know if they want to change until they have a period of sobriety. The addicted brain cant make good decisions. I think that if an addict agrees to go to treatment for 30 days or 90 or whatever that if they enter they should be forced to complete that time , even if they have to be locked in a rubber room. There should be no option to walk out.

In some programs, there is no opportunity to walk out. You walk in the door committed to stay with the program for those 60 or 90 days.

But many addicts will simply go through the motions - attend counseling & group sessions, and wait out their 90 days just to get it over with - only to revert right back to their habit of choice (whether alcohol or drugs), once released. It may be a day, it may be weeks or months, but if the urge and need for their "fix of choice" is still there, they end up right where they were before entering the program - and often abuse their substance of choice even more than before.

The person has to be fully committed to getting clean in their own mind and willing to go through the treatment for those programs to work successfully.

(I'm speaking as someone who had a loved one go through the motions 3 times only to revert back - it ended up killing him. Why? He wasn't ready to give the treatment the entire 100% commitment it takes in order to work..

The only person who can make the program(s) succeed is the user.

[cronewitch]

The president of the company I used to work for had one before I started. He quit drinking, kept his job and had a serenity prayer on his desk. I worked there almost 12 years and he didn't drink so it must have been the wake up call he needed. I think without it he would have lost his job, divorced and had a rough life, but he was smart enough to know when the Chairman of the board, all the corporate officers and everyone agrees you need to stop it is a good idea. I don't know if they involved his family.

[giramomma]

Jun 15, 2015 10:02:32 GMT -5 bean29 said:

Go peek at the website for the Alliance for the Mentally Ill and see if there is any advice for this situation. NAMI.org.

Besides NAMI, there's a DBSA Depression and Bipolar Alliance
www.dbsalliance.org

[andi9899]

Jun 15, 2015 6:40:39 GMT -5 wvugurl26 said:

They had one of my stepbrothers legally committed to alcohol rehab. Didn't work. He died a couple weeks ago in hospice care clutching a vodka bottle.

I think it could work in certain situations but the person has to be ready and willing to change.

I'm sorry. I hope you are ok.

[wvugurl26]

Jun 15, 2015 20:40:45 GMT -5 Shooby said:

I don't think addicts can really know if they want to change until they have a period of sobriety. The addicted brain cant make good decisions. I think that if an addict agrees to go to treatment for 30 days or 90 or whatever that if they enter they should be forced to complete that time , even if they have to be locked in a rubber room. There should be no option to walk out.

We thought that's what would happen when the judge committed him to rehab. Instead he refused to participate in anything and sat on the bed in his underwear all day. They kicked him out after a few days.

[wvugurl26]

Jun 15, 2015 22:22:50 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Jun 15, 2015 6:40:39 GMT -5 wvugurl26 said:

They had one of my stepbrothers legally committed to alcohol rehab. Didn't work. He died a couple weeks ago in hospice care clutching a vodka bottle.

I think it could work in certain situations but the person has to be ready and willing to change.

I'm sorry. I hope you are ok.

I'm okay. I've made my peace with it. Everyone tried repeatedly to help him. Now at least he's free of whatever demons drove him to drink like that. It is very sad but through this all I've learned you can't force help on someone.

[mmhmm]

Jun 15, 2015 6:40:39 GMT -5 wvugurl26 said:

They had one of my stepbrothers legally committed to alcohol rehab. Didn't work. He died a couple weeks ago in hospice care clutching a vodka bottle.

I think it could work in certain situations but the person has to be ready and willing to change.

I'm so sorry for your family's loss. I'm glad to read you've made your peace with it. I've seen this too many times to count. There are some people that simply cannot be helped, no matter the method and no matter how well meaning the help that's offered.

[mmhmm]

Jun 15, 2015 8:53:25 GMT -5 TheHaitian said:

No addictions... At least not yet

Mental illness is the worry -> bi-polar

Has bipolar disorder been formally diagnosed? Bipolar is a really tough one to deal with. The manics are addicting in, and of themselves. Imagine feeling on top of the world - like you can do no wrong and everything around and about you is spectacular. Now, imagine that being taken away. That's why so many bipolars tend to go off their meds. They don't like the feeling the rest of us consider normal. If you think about it, you can almost understand why.

What were you thinking of doing an intervention for, exactly? Do you wish to get the person into treatment?

[taz157]

Jun 16, 2015 6:39:45 GMT -5 mmhmm said:

Jun 15, 2015 6:40:39 GMT -5 wvugurl26 said:

They had one of my stepbrothers legally committed to alcohol rehab. Didn't work. He died a couple weeks ago in hospice care clutching a vodka bottle.

I think it could work in certain situations but the person has to be ready and willing to change.

I'm so sorry for your family's loss. I'm glad to read you've made your peace with it. I've seen this too many times to count. There are some people that simply cannot be helped, no matter the method and no matter how well meaning the help that's offered.

Yeah that. ((((Hugs))))

[mojothehelpermonkey]

After my dad drank himself to death, my mom asked me and my brother if we wished we had tried to have an intervention. My brother, who had been living with my dad at the time, immediately said no. After thinking about it, I agreed with him. He went downhill fairly quickly, and if we had tried to have an intervention during those last few months, our last conversation probably would have involved him storming out of the room.
A close friend of the family who watched all of that go down recently mentioned that he thinks my dad was trying to kill himself. I think he is probably right. Depression is a hell of a disease, and I don't think there was anything we could have done to keep him from self destructing.

[mojothehelpermonkey]

In case my previous post was too much of a bummer, my dad's dad also had a pretty bad drinking problem. His license was revoked and he eventually got a DUI on his bicycle. After that he took off to Alaska, so he wouldn't have to go to rehab. He eventually came home and didn't drink for the last ~20 years of his life. This all went down before I was born, so I am not sure how the family pulled that off.
With addiction or mental illness, I think the key is that the person has to recognize the problem and still have enough strength left to want to get better.

[TheHaitian]

Thanks for all the suggestions but really just wanted to ask about the intervention. I am not close enough to the person or their families where any suggestions by me would be taken seriously.

Actually my MIL has opted to not tell my wife critical information because she knows my wife tells me everything and that I am overly critical of the family.

I just feel and I have told her so that her sister is playing Russian roulette with her child's life/health by refusing to admit she has a problem or supporting her getting the help she needs. I also just ignore the comments now because I hear something I want to "fix" it, it gets old talking about the same thing over and over and nothin is being done.