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Post by Deleted on Apr 1, 2015 15:19:59 GMT -5
Well, I'm one of those weirdos that enjoyed being pregnant, and knowing I never will again does make me sad, BUT, you do have to quit sometime. I don't think it would have mattered if I had 1 or 10 I'd still be sad about that phase of life being done.
I wouldn't base the decision just on wanting to be pregnant again. Make sure you're considering the lifetime commitment that comes with it. You can't say it's just for 18 or 22 years either. Your child could be born with some disability that you have to take care of them forever.
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Angel!
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Post by Angel! on Apr 1, 2015 15:26:01 GMT -5
One more thing to think about - 3 kids is more of a handful for other people. I don't know if you have friends or family that sometimes watch your children. Or who would be watching your kids if you go on a honeymoon. But, there is a big difference between watching 1 kid & 1 toddler vs watching 1 kid, 1 toddler, & 1 newborn or even 2 kids & 1 toddler . I don't ask people to watch my kids very often because they are a handful right now. Although that could just be because of the personality of my youngest & the fact he gets into everything, whereas my first 2 weren't that way
I know that is something that changes over time, but for a few years there will be craziness with 3 kids & it makes you feel bad imposing that on anyone else. You won't notice the chaos because you get used to having 3, but if someone watches your kids for an afternoon when you get back they will look exhausted & say something to the effect "I don't know how you do this every day".
At least that is what I have found. But, then again my youngest is a handful alone. I joke that if I had him first, then he would be an only child.
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chalupabatman
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Post by chalupabatman on Apr 1, 2015 15:26:47 GMT -5
The activities here are usually around 6-10 weeks long. I dont think they would ever be able to do more than 1 each at a time due to logistics and timing anyways. But I definitely get what you are all saying.
I agree with the people who say that we should wait a 2-3 years. That gives my husband time to finish his degree and also time for the little one to get out of diapers and us time to replenish our savings account.
I have a horrible tendency to be compulsive and I don't want to continue making financial mistakes. We are not good with money.
This is a dumb question, but how do you find out if you are in a HDHP plan? The only dumb question is the one you don't ask... Your annual enrollment material from your employer should have identified which plans are HDHP and which ones are not. However Wiki actually did a decent job of explaining it: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/High-deductible_health_planSo for a family plan you minimum individual deductible cannot be under 1300, while the family deductible cannot be under 2600. 2015[4] $1,300 $2,600 $6,450 $12,900 I just checked at we have 2000/yr individual and 4000/family
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Angel!
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Post by Angel! on Apr 1, 2015 15:30:22 GMT -5
The only dumb question is the one you don't ask... Your annual enrollment material from your employer should have identified which plans are HDHP and which ones are not. However Wiki actually did a decent job of explaining it: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/High-deductible_health_planSo for a family plan you minimum individual deductible cannot be under 1300, while the family deductible cannot be under 2600. 2015[4] $1,300 $2,600 $6,450 $12,900 I just checked at we have 2000/yr individual and 4000/family I would guess you are elgible for an HSA.
Your husband should ask his HR department if you are eligible & see if he can set one up through them & get money taken from his check directly. The only was to avoid the FICA taxes is to have the contributions taken directly from your check. If you set it up on your own, then you can still avoid state & federal taxes.
If you aren't eligible, then ask if they offer an FSA. You probably have to wait for open enrollment to sign up for that though.
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justme
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Post by justme on Apr 1, 2015 15:30:23 GMT -5
If she's only paying 80% until she his the deductible than that's not an HSA eligible plan.
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chalupabatman
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Post by chalupabatman on Apr 1, 2015 15:33:40 GMT -5
Well, I'm one of those weirdos that enjoyed being pregnant, and knowing I never will again does make me sad, BUT, you do have to quit sometime. I don't think it would have mattered if I had 1 or 10 I'd still be sad about that phase of life being done. Great point. I do not enjoy being pregnant. I will miss the anticipation of knowing there is a little one on the way. I don't really like many people's children, but ours are so freaking cool. The thought of adding to our family makes me smile. Its not just the baby stage I look forward to.
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chalupabatman
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Post by chalupabatman on Apr 1, 2015 15:36:10 GMT -5
If she's only paying 80% until she his the deductible than that's not an HSA eligible plan. I could be wrong about that. It is odd. The services and charges vary. WCC are completely free, yet there are bills that they pay, lets say, $15 and we owe 199 and some that cover more.
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justme
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Post by justme on Apr 1, 2015 15:40:31 GMT -5
If she's only paying 80% until she his the deductible than that's not an HSA eligible plan. I could be wrong about that. It is odd. The services and charges vary. WCC are completely free, yet there are bills that they pay, lets say, $15 and we owe 199 and some that cover more. To be eligible for an HSA you have to pay 100% of negotiated charges including prescriptions until you hit the deductible. So your insurance has to pay nothing on Dr visits, labs, rxs, etc (excluding preventive/well visits) until you reach the deductible to be eligible. Otherwise you can have an FSA if your work has one.
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Angel!
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Post by Angel! on Apr 1, 2015 15:41:01 GMT -5
If she's only paying 80% until she his the deductible than that's not an HSA eligible plan. Good point. I think you are right on this.
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imawino
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Post by imawino on Apr 1, 2015 15:44:53 GMT -5
If she's only paying 80% until she his the deductible than that's not an HSA eligible plan. I could be wrong about that. It is odd. The services and charges vary. WCC are completely free, yet there are bills that they pay, lets say, $15 and we owe 199 and some that cover more. Are you sure they are "paying" that $15? Or is it a negotiated discount amount that is being applied? Where did your 80/20 number come from?
Really the only think to do is have your DH ask his HR Benefits person. Or refer to his open enrollment materials if he has them.
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kittensaver
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Post by kittensaver on Apr 1, 2015 15:45:39 GMT -5
Well, I'm one of those weirdos that enjoyed being pregnant, and knowing I never will again does make me sad, BUT, you do have to quit sometime. I don't think it would have mattered if I had 1 or 10 I'd still be sad about that phase of life being done. Great point. I do not enjoy being pregnant. I will miss the anticipation of knowing there is a little one on the way. I don't really like many people's children, but ours are so freaking cool. The thought of adding to our family makes me smile. Its not just the baby stage I look forward to. A dozen or so years ago, DH and I attended the Bar Mitzvah of the youngest son (child #5) of one of DH's clients. [This client was and still is so stinking filthy rich that there were THREE full tables of partygoers who were nothing but the client's vendors and other business providers ].
During the speeches at the formal (black tie) dinner , the parents got up to address and toast their son. Among the other things they said to their child was this: "We know you are the youngest and we know that sometimes you get grief for being 'the baby,' but we're really glad we decided to have you."
*misty tears*
I think that was one of the sweetest things I ever heard a parent say to a child - especially publicly.
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chalupabatman
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Post by chalupabatman on Apr 1, 2015 15:50:33 GMT -5
I could be wrong about that. It is odd. The services and charges vary. WCC are completely free, yet there are bills that they pay, lets say, $15 and we owe 199 and some that cover more. Are you sure they are "paying" that $15? Or is it a negotiated discount amount that is being applied? Where did your 80/20 number come from?
Really the only think to do is have your DH ask his HR Benefits person. Or refer to his open enrollment materials if he has them.
My husband is going to email HR. Can someone tell me about FSA's? Here is an example of an EOB Lab/Xray charges: 50 provider responsibility amount: 5.33 allowed amount: 44.67 deductible amount: 44.67 amount you owe: 44.67
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Robert not Bobby
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Post by Robert not Bobby on Apr 1, 2015 15:56:19 GMT -5
I need some help! My husband and I would love at least 1 more child, but financially I am not sure that is responsible. I am very conflicted because I want a large family and know we would regret not trying to make it work. We are 30. I have had serious medical issues in the past that have the potential to impact our ability to conceive if we were to wait until my mid-late 30's. I do not feel comfortable with the amount in our retirement accounts. With a late start, we are VERY behind in that aspect. We also do not have very much in our savings account. I would like to build up a buffer in the savings account and then save 3-4000 separately for the delivery, and other baby expenses. This will likely take 2-3 years, but even if we are able to manage this... it seems tight. Can anyone offer advice? You are being, maybe too responsible? Don't worry about your retirement income just yet...if you want to add one additional member to your family and you are emotionally ready for it and you BOTH think it is right for you and have the love and responsibility for it...| would say go for it. It is amazing how quickly kids grow up, how much joy they can add to a family...and there are always hand me downs Just know when to stop...you don't want to be like the Duggars (sp)
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Angel!
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Post by Angel! on Apr 1, 2015 16:05:01 GMT -5
Are you sure they are "paying" that $15? Or is it a negotiated discount amount that is being applied? Where did your 80/20 number come from?
Really the only think to do is have your DH ask his HR Benefits person. Or refer to his open enrollment materials if he has them.
My husband is going to email HR. Can someone tell me about FSA's? Here is an example of an EOB Lab/Xray charges: 50 provider responsibility amount: 5.33 allowed amount: 44.67 deductible amount: 44.67 amount you owe: 44.67
I could be wrong, but that sounds like an insurance negotiated price. I know all the EOBs I get have the amount billed & then the amount that insurance says is actually owed & they are never the same.
If so, then you are paying 100% & it is likely an HDHP
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Post by Deleted on Apr 1, 2015 17:18:02 GMT -5
My husband is going to email HR. Can someone tell me about FSA's? Here is an example of an EOB Lab/Xray charges: 50 provider responsibility amount: 5.33 allowed amount: 44.67 deductible amount: 44.67 amount you owe: 44.67
I could be wrong, but that sounds like an insurance negotiated price. I know all the EOBs I get have the amount billed & then the amount that insurance says is actually owed & they are never the same.
If so, then you are paying 100% & it is likely an HDHP
I agree. My Blue Cross EOBs always show a maximum allowed. Something they must have contracted with the provider.
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justme
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Post by justme on Apr 1, 2015 17:25:23 GMT -5
Looks like it might be. So then the question is whether you have copays for prescriptions.
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chalupabatman
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Post by chalupabatman on Apr 1, 2015 17:40:27 GMT -5
Looks like it might be. So then the question is whether you have copays for prescriptions. Depending on the medication we pay anywhere from a few dollars to 30 bucks. I haven't talked to him to clarify, but asked him if our health plan was HSA eligible and he just said that you have to wait until open enrollment. When he gets home I will ask if he means FSA.
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chalupabatman
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Post by chalupabatman on Apr 1, 2015 17:42:59 GMT -5
Does getting pregnant pose any health risks for you? Will you have to discontinue any medications? I am on an anxiety medication, but that is it. I developed high BP and they induced me early with my last. I am hopeful that if I get in shape and take better care of myself I could possibly reduce the chances of that happening again. The OB said that I did "beautifully" and to have as many kids as I want. I was tempted to ask if se was getting her patients mixed up, but didn't. I should have!
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Sam_2.0
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Post by Sam_2.0 on Apr 1, 2015 17:50:01 GMT -5
Looks like it might be. So then the question is whether you have copays for prescriptions. Depending on the medication we pay anywhere from a few dollars to 30 bucks. I haven't talked to him to clarify, but asked him if our health plan was HSA eligible and he just said that you have to wait until open enrollment. When he gets home I will ask if he means FSA. I have to wait until open enrollment to do payroll deductions. But an account can be opened at any time.
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justme
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Post by justme on Apr 1, 2015 17:55:02 GMT -5
If she's paying copays for rxs, which it sounds like she is, it's not a HSA eligible plan.
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Sam_2.0
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Post by Sam_2.0 on Apr 1, 2015 20:16:03 GMT -5
We pay for our rx. Its a pretty set amount but not a real co-pay. I think they negotiate certain levels of meds for a price. They were each $5 last time I went and we are on an HDHP. Maybe thats it?
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justme
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Post by justme on Apr 1, 2015 20:38:39 GMT -5
Maybe? I just know several of my generics are way more than my copay. It could go either way.
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chalupabatman
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Post by chalupabatman on Apr 2, 2015 10:30:38 GMT -5
If she's paying copays for rxs, which it sounds like she is, it's not a HSA eligible plan. You are right. It is not eligible. I forgot that we had our physicals with his company this fall and we will get 1100 credited toward our 4000 deductible this year, so there is that! We will divert the 100 from the kids' savings accounts and put it in our savings account or open a Roth. We will look in to adjusting our withholdings. People on the MMM forum told me to pay down the SL before saving for an EF. What do you guys think about that? 9800 @ 4.25 and that will increase when my husband goes back to school. New loans will be in deferment until he graduates and we will make only interest payments on them until he is done. I will not borrow from other spending categories when one is empty. We will be diligent at the beginning of the month and make sure we don't spend too much. Anything else I am missing?
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justme
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Post by justme on Apr 2, 2015 10:45:22 GMT -5
Usually most people here don't pay extra on loans less than 5%. Also, I believe interest keeps being charged while they're in deferment so you might want to think about still paying if you can.
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chalupabatman
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Post by chalupabatman on Apr 2, 2015 11:03:34 GMT -5
Usually most people here don't pay extra on loans less than 5%. Also, I believe interest keeps being charged while they're in deferment so you might want to think about still paying if you can. That is the advice I am used to hearing. Thanks!
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Apr 2, 2015 11:15:20 GMT -5
Are your current kids able to share a room? Will you need to expand your housing if you have another?
Story of my own......I have 3 kids. Boy, girl, boy. The oldest is quiet, neat and laid back but would have killed the youngest if they'd been made to share a room. The youngest has ADHD and can't do quiet, neat and calm to save his life. There's 8 years between them as well so that also contributes to needing separate spaces. Could I have made them share? Sure, but it would have made everyone so horribly miserable that I doubt I'd still be married. (kids are mine, ours, his in that order. Long story)
I make it work because I have to, but at this point I can't even afford to order pizza to take a night off from cooking.
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chalupabatman
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Post by chalupabatman on Apr 2, 2015 11:49:56 GMT -5
Are your current kids able to share a room? Will you need to expand your housing if you have another? Luckily, we would not have to expand housing, we would be able to live here comfortably.
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TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on Apr 2, 2015 11:51:03 GMT -5
(kids are mine, ours, his in that order. Long story) I got that time... Please elaborate !!!!
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Apr 2, 2015 11:58:57 GMT -5
(kids are mine, ours, his in that order. Long story) I got that time... Please elaborate !!!! BOOM! All gone ETA: please don't quote, I'll probably delete later
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chalupabatman
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Post by chalupabatman on Apr 2, 2015 12:03:33 GMT -5
you are an amazingly strong woman, your son is lucky to have you
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