Smile and nod

[tractor]

Sometimes you have to look like you are happy and care about what's going on. SIL just had baby #6, ugly little thing, and another one on to add to the welfare rolls. I hope it's their last, but she's under 30, so she's got a few breeding years left.

Don't really care, just tired of the drama, wants everyone to feel sorry for her because life hard taking care of all those kids, but she doesn't seem to want to stop having them, reminds me of the red neck family from the Simpsons.

[Deleted]

I've been in a similar situation several times lately. Sigh. 

[TheHaitian]

6 kids and under 30?
At what age did she start?

[Deleted]

My friend who just announced 10 has a daughter who is at 3 under 21... Ok, maybe 22.

[tractor]

Feb 27, 2015 9:01:43 GMT -5 TheHaitian said:

6 kids and under 30?
At what age did she start?

I believe the first one arrived when she was 19, different men for the first three, I kind of lost track.

[bean29]

Most of the people I know who have that many kids are really good at parenting. They also are not poor.

I find parenting rewarding, but it is hard work. I will be relieved when DD turns 18 in April and Graduates in June, but a small part of me is sad that we are done with that phase of our lives.

[tractor]

Oh, don't get me wrong, kids are great and I don't care how many you have, as long as you can take care of them. They have no money, the kids are always dirty and my MIL expects us to feel sorry for her, I don't. They also are the ones that post on FB about all the new things they bought, while asking for $ from family to pay basic bills.

Parenting isn't one of her strong suits, kids are wild and out of control.

Smile and nod, say "bless your heart" and move on.

[Deleted]

Most of the parents I know who have that many are great at it too. But there are exceptions. Even 10, im not saying she's a bad parent. Especially to little ones, but in the same breath she gushes about 10, she talks about how overwhelmed she is, how hard it is, how there is no money, how her husband is an ass (ok, my word)... Sigh. Getting harde to be supportive.

I think her daughter is thinking about giving number three up for adoption. 

[NancysSummerSip]

Oh, tractor...the best thing about her is that she is fodder for all those family get-togethers when conversation hits a lull. Lord knows there will always be something going on with someone like that.

She sounds like the type of person that makes me realize I'm glad I had a better, tougher upbringing with "mean" parents who taught me how to take care of myself and live life well.

[busymom]

True, NancysSummerSip.  I believe everyone looks back at their life, & thinks of ways things could've gone better, (or alternative decisions you could have made), but then you see someone like that, & realize you didn't screw up your own life too badly. 

[NancysSummerSip]

Feb 27, 2015 10:11:04 GMT -5 busymom said:

True, NancysSummerSip.  I believe everyone looks back at their life, & thinks of ways things could've gone better, (or alternative decisions you could have made), but then you see someone like that, & realize you didn't screw up your own life too badly. 

Got that soooooo right. I've got a mess of cousins, their spouses and spawn (literally and figuratively speaking) that are just the textbook example of what to do wrong in life. They've done everything from join religious cults to file for bankruptcy to decide they were "too good" to get jobs. Not sure what planet these people were raised on. Sometimes, I look at the family tree very carefully, just to check and see if a strange branch was somehow glued on and these people were the result.

[Tennesseer]

SIL's family tree?

[busymom]

BTW, I had "mean" parents at times too.  (I'm not talking abusive, but not afraid to yell when we deserved it, spank occasionally, etc.)   

Some of the parenting fails I've seen, is parents who refuse to tell their kids when they're doing something stupid. Like, they "let" them make mistakes, & don't bother telling them why something is a bad idea.  And then, even after the kid has done something not too bright, the parents still don't tell them why their action was a poor choice.  Not only my parents, but my aunts & uncles weren't shy about offering their "free" opinions when they saw a kid doing something dumb, or on track to do something dumb.

[NancysSummerSip]

Same for me, Busy. And we hated that kind of thing, back in the day. Looking back now, I think it probably kept us on the straight and narrow and out of reform school.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Feb 27, 2015 10:43:02 GMT -5 NancysSummerSip said:

Same for me, Busy. And we hated that kind of thing, back in the day. Looking back now, I think it probably kept us on the straight and narrow and out of reform school.

 I sat my younger brother down when he was around 13 or so.  Explained to him that because of the family being who we all are, if he screwed up badly, not only would Mom and Dad sit him down and lecture him, but he'd get it from all 4 of his siblings, Grandpa, and any aunts and uncles that felt inclined to want to "discuss" (read yell at him) it with him.  Which would suck.  But that the suckiest part was going to be listening to every.single.one.of.us giving him the same.damn.lecture.  And he'd have to take it or it'd be even worse the next time round.  He was appalled.  And for the most part, he's not done anything horribly stupid.  He didn't get the crazy gf pregnant in high school.  He didn't get busted for hacking (or at least not formally [my gut says someone had a little chat with him]) and he eventually finished his degree and has a decent job w/ benefits. 

[lexxy703]

Ugh, we have some of these in my extended family too.  They refuse to talk to my immediate family because we are snobs.  They are in their 40s & never have jobs.  They got evicted from the trailer park because their trailer was condemned.  They now live in his parent's basement with their 4 filthy kids & multiple animals crapping everywhere.

[swamp]

Feb 27, 2015 9:00:29 GMT -5 oped said:

I've been in a similar situation several times lately. Sigh. 

You have 6 kids and you can't afford them?

[gooddecisions]

Feb 27, 2015 8:52:33 GMT -5 tractor said:

Sometimes you have to look like you are happy and care about what's going on. SIL just had baby #6, ugly little thing, and another one on to add to the welfare rolls. I hope it's their last, but she's under 30, so she's got a few breeding years left.

Don't really care, just tired of the drama, wants everyone to feel sorry for her because life hard taking care of all those kids, but she doesn't seem to want to stop having them, reminds me of the red neck family from the Simpsons.

That's a really nasty way to talk about an innocent baby.

[NancysSummerSip]

Hey, at least it's honest. Not all babies are cute, though it's not their fault. Sometimes, you get offspring that swim in the perfect end of the gene pool. And sometimes, you get a belly flop.

I like babies. I like kids. But not every one of them is a poster child for cuteness. You look at some of them, and wonder if their parents thought the procreation thing through. Sometimes, couples have to look in the mirror and be honest: "Hmmm....do we want to produce kids with protruding foreheads, buck teeth and skin with more craters than the moon? After all, if we did, they'd look like us. Should we really inflict that upon humanity?"

[tractor]

Feb 27, 2015 16:17:58 GMT -5 gooddecisions said:

Feb 27, 2015 8:52:33 GMT -5 tractor said:

Sometimes you have to look like you are happy and care about what's going on. SIL just had baby #6, ugly little thing, and another one on to add to the welfare rolls. I hope it's their last, but she's under 30, so she's got a few breeding years left.

Don't really care, just tired of the drama, wants everyone to feel sorry for her because life hard taking care of all those kids, but she doesn't seem to want to stop having them, reminds me of the red neck family from the Simpsons.

That's a really nasty way to talk about an innocent baby.

They can't all be cute, although my boys were the cutest on earth!

[gooddecisions]

Feb 27, 2015 16:34:42 GMT -5 NancysSummerSip said:

Hey, at least it's honest. Not all babies are cute, though it's not their fault. Sometimes, you get offspring that swim in the perfect end of the gene pool. And sometimes, you get a belly flop.

I like babies. I like kids. But not every one of them is a poster child for cuteness. You look at some of them, and wonder if their parents thought the procreation thing through. Sometimes, couples have to look in the mirror and be honest: "Hmmm....do we want to produce kids with protruding foreheads, buck teeth and skin with more craters than the moon? After all, if we did, they'd look like us. Should we really inflict that upon humanity?"

But why say anything at all about the baby's looks? It sounds like this poster has an issue with the parents, so it just seems unnecessarily cruel to pick on a baby's appearance. But, then I can't think of too many scenarios where picking on a baby's appearance would be appropriate.

[Tennesseer]

Feb 27, 2015 16:38:59 GMT -5 tractor said:

Feb 27, 2015 16:17:58 GMT -5 gooddecisions said:

That's a really nasty way to talk about an innocent baby.

They can't all be cute, although my boys were the cutest on earth!

"All babies look like me. But then, I look like all babies."

Winston Churchill

[Jaguar]

What a beautiful tree picture that is, thanks.

[Tennesseer]

Feb 27, 2015 17:05:55 GMT -5 Jaguar said:

What a beautiful tree picture that is, thanks.

You are welcome. I just looked up the source of the tree picture and the tree can be found in a park by Fort Mason in San Francisco. So if you are ever in the area....

[NancysSummerSip]

Feb 27, 2015 16:52:54 GMT -5 gooddecisions said:

Feb 27, 2015 16:34:42 GMT -5 NancysSummerSip said:

Hey, at least it's honest. Not all babies are cute, though it's not their fault. Sometimes, you get offspring that swim in the perfect end of the gene pool. And sometimes, you get a belly flop.

I like babies. I like kids. But not every one of them is a poster child for cuteness. You look at some of them, and wonder if their parents thought the procreation thing through. Sometimes, couples have to look in the mirror and be honest: "Hmmm....do we want to produce kids with protruding foreheads, buck teeth and skin with more craters than the moon? After all, if we did, they'd look like us. Should we really inflict that upon humanity?"

But why say anything at all about the baby's looks? It sounds like this poster has an issue with the parents, so it just seems unnecessarily cruel to pick on a baby's appearance. But, then I can't think of too many scenarios where picking on a baby's appearance would be appropriate.

The post is on an anonymous message board. Assuming tractor did not say it out loud to the mother, I'm not really bothered by it. A poster is entitled to their opinion, regardless of whether I or anyone else like the message. I don't think there's a time and place to say something like that out loud, to a child or their parent(s). But here, for all of us to read? Truth and snark are equal opportunity here.

[toomuchreality]

Feb 27, 2015 16:17:58 GMT -5 gooddecisions said:

Feb 27, 2015 8:52:33 GMT -5 tractor said:

Sometimes you have to look like you are happy and care about what's going on. SIL just had baby #6, ugly little thing, and another one on to add to the welfare rolls. I hope it's their last, but she's under 30, so she's got a few breeding years left.

Don't really care, just tired of the drama, wants everyone to feel sorry for her because life hard taking care of all those kids, but she doesn't seem to want to stop having them, reminds me of the red neck family from the Simpsons.

That's a really nasty way to talk about an innocent baby.

LOL  Right after having one of my 2nd baby, my parents came in the room. My mother was gushing over the baby. She turned to my father and said isn't she cute (pretty? something like that) >My dad said, "Yeah, looks like every other drowned rat, I've ever seen!"
I wasn't offended.

[Malarky]

Feb 27, 2015 17:15:23 GMT -5 NancysSummerSip said:

Feb 27, 2015 16:52:54 GMT -5 gooddecisions said:

But why say anything at all about the baby's looks? It sounds like this poster has an issue with the parents, so it just seems unnecessarily cruel to pick on a baby's appearance. But, then I can't think of too many scenarios where picking on a baby's appearance would be appropriate.

The post is on an anonymous message board. Assuming tractor did not say it out loud to the mother, I'm not really bothered by it. A poster is entitled to their opinion, regardless of whether I or anyone else like the message. I don't think there's a time and place to say something like that out loud, to a child or their parent(s). But here, for all of us to read? Truth and snark are equal opportunity here.

I totally stole this line.  You can find it under my avatar.  

Please and thank you.

Trying to figure out how to give you credit without taking up too much space.

[Bonny]

Feb 27, 2015 17:12:34 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

Feb 27, 2015 17:05:55 GMT -5 Jaguar said:

What a beautiful tree picture that is, thanks.

You are welcome. I just looked up the source of the tree picture and the tree can be found in a park by Fort Mason in San Francisco. So if you are ever in the area....

Does it say what kind of tree it is? I'm thinking maybe a melalucca (sp)?

[Tennesseer]

Feb 27, 2015 17:50:22 GMT -5 Bonny said:

Feb 27, 2015 17:12:34 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

You are welcome. I just looked up the source of the tree picture and the tree can be found in a park by Fort Mason in San Francisco. So if you are ever in the area....

Does it say what kind of tree it is? I'm thinking maybe a melalucca (sp)?

Bonny-I went looking for that specifically (name of tree) but the person who took the picture made no mention of it and is probably not an arborist. A melaleuca it could very well be.

[mroped]

Feb 27, 2015 16:17:58 GMT -5 gooddecisions said:

Feb 27, 2015 8:52:33 GMT -5 tractor said:

Sometimes you have to look like you are happy and care about what's going on. SIL just had baby #6, ugly little thing, and another one on to add to the welfare rolls. I hope it's their last, but she's under 30, so she's got a few breeding years left.

Don't really care, just tired of the drama, wants everyone to feel sorry for her because life hard taking care of all those kids, but she doesn't seem to want to stop having them, reminds me of the red neck family from the Simpsons.

That's a really nasty way to talk about an innocent baby.

Now ugly baby judges you tractor!