Peace Of Mind
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[font color="#8f2520"]~ Drinks Well With Others ~[/font]
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Jan 12, 2015 18:28:41 GMT -5
DH and I are laughing our asses off over some things that I thought would make a funny thread if you all also share your stories. I was putting on my make up today (just a little when I'm not going out) and I decided I hadn't used my plum lip liner type stuff in years. So I grabbed it out of the drawer and start putting it on. I can't see it so I push harder thinking it dried up some. I'm like WTE?! why can't I see it on my lips? When I looked again I realized I was putting my eye shadow that is a greenish gray color on my lips. I was LMAO and DH asked what was so funny. I told him I'm getting so blind now that I'm putting eye shadow on my lips and he said "What was your excuse when you were in your 20's?" He reminded me of when I was misting my indoor Corn Plant with Glass Plus instead of the water bottle. Then he told me a story of when after he fed the cats and set the fork by the sink (after rinsing it) he decided to eat leftovers for lunch. He went to put more cat food on the plate for another kitty and couldn't find the fork and realized he was using it to eat his lunch. OK - Your turn! Share your stories of things you've done. It's been raining all day and night here and I'm bored!
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Jaguar
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Fear does not stop death. It stops life.
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Post by Jaguar on Jan 12, 2015 18:32:34 GMT -5
So basically you want me to come clean on how ditzy I am......LMAO
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Peace Of Mind
Senior Associate
[font color="#8f2520"]~ Drinks Well With Others ~[/font]
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Jan 12, 2015 18:35:19 GMT -5
So basically you want me to come clean on how ditzy I am......LMAO
Correct! And I already know how ditzy you are. I just want specifics!
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lynnerself
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Post by lynnerself on Jan 12, 2015 18:37:13 GMT -5
How blind/stupid?
I recently took DH prescription refills instead of mine for a week before he ran out and noticed.
Surprisingly, I never felt any different.
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billisonboard
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Post by billisonboard on Jan 12, 2015 18:45:03 GMT -5
I occasionally voice disagreement with Virgil on the Politics board.
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Jaguar
Administrator
Fear does not stop death. It stops life.
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Post by Jaguar on Jan 12, 2015 18:46:39 GMT -5
I wash my dentures every night in a little ramekin. Now I have this same ramekin in my dishes for dips. Right now I got most of my bathroom stuff in the kitchen cause the men are dealing with the critter.
Last night I used my denture ramekin for my dip. I wondered why this was out here, I must have cleaned it and not put it up with my dishes.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Jan 12, 2015 19:00:00 GMT -5
I often use the TV remote control 'rewind' function because I mised a line in a movie or part of a news story (for example). I have caught my self several times now out and about in the real world and partially missing a sight of something passing by or a comment said and thinking I should reach for the remote control to rewind what I just missed. Doh! Real life is not rewind capable.
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mroped
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Post by mroped on Jan 12, 2015 19:01:21 GMT -5
This is not one of my "pearls" but it just brought it back to mind seeing your stories:
I served in the military back home and we had this Sargent Major that was teaching us regulations and such and we kept failing the tests. He got tired of this so he lines us in the formation and starts yelling at us: " if you are dumb and stupid and can't remember these rules you should grab a note pad and a pencil and take notes! That's what I have done"
At that point all 40 of us in the platoon started howling like crazy. Two years later when we got discharged one of us had to take the time and explain to him why we were laughing. I'm not sure he got it even then!
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Opti
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Post by Opti on Jan 12, 2015 19:01:41 GMT -5
Sorry Sugi. You and POM might love my mug story.
A friend gave me two mugs that I keep on each side of the bed and I use them to store stuff. On the side I sleep I also have a coaster where I usually have a glass with something to drink. Well, one night I did not finish my tea so put it there in a mug on the coaster half full.
Next day, I out the contents of the mug onto my bed, and then realize as I splash tea on my pants, sheets, etc. I picked up the wrong mug.
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Peace Of Mind
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[font color="#8f2520"]~ Drinks Well With Others ~[/font]
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Jan 12, 2015 19:10:28 GMT -5
A few months ago Molly was on our bed trying to have a hair ball. I was sound asleep but the bed jerking woke me up so I tried to grab her off the bed to run to the tile so she could puke there instead. Because of the way I was carrying her from the bed she was hurling her breakfast (DH fed her before he left for work) all over the walls, carpet and baseboards. I got her to the tile just in time for her to be empty. What a way to wake up! But I guess it was better than rolling over in it in bed.
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Artemis Windsong
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The love in me salutes the love in you. M. Williamson
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Post by Artemis Windsong on Jan 12, 2015 19:29:39 GMT -5
The one I find funny and traumatic at the same time is when a young child encounters warm dog puke while walking during the wake up process. The blood curdling scream with frantic wiping off of the toes on the rug.
My biggy today was not being able to find my car keys. I usually put them in one section of my purse. There are two upper zippers one on the front and one on the back. I did not panic and easily found them.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jan 12, 2015 19:30:27 GMT -5
DH is slowly eating the turkey dinner I made for him tonight and he's very popular with the cats because of it. He gets up and goes to the bathroom and then complains because HIS cat jumped on the table and started eating his dinner. Seriously? You leave turkey where an animal can get at it and then aren't happy because he does what's natural? What planet are you from? Mars.
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Bonny
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Post by Bonny on Jan 12, 2015 19:48:00 GMT -5
Well the LATEST was last week when I tried to give the Barfy boy his transdermal anti-acid orally. It took me a couple of minutes to figure out why he was spitting it out. DH normally gives the barfy boy his meds but left for the cabin on Sunday the 4th. All four of us were supposed to drive down to the cabin together to meet the MIL for her 80th birthday. But the 15 year old barfy boy decided to mix it up with a raccoon on NYE day and the vet didn't think it was a good idea for him to travel. So poor me had to stay home...and avoid all the MIL drama!
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midjd
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Your Money Admin
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Post by midjd on Jan 12, 2015 20:01:20 GMT -5
Oh, where to begin... I could start with the several times I have completely freaked out about going blind after I put both contacts in and still could not see. It helps one's vision if both contacts are not in the same eye. I'm sure I will think of some more.
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Virgil Showlion
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[b]leones potest resistere[/b]
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jan 12, 2015 20:14:41 GMT -5
My mom tells a story about my dad before I was born. He was installing a garburator in the sink. He'd placed a bucket beneath the U-bend to catch the water in the pipe as he removed it, which worked like a charm.
Then he promptly dumped the bucket into the sink.
After cursing for a while, he got to his hands and knees with a sponge and used it to sop up all the water now under the sink and on the kitchen floor, wringing the sponge out into the bucket. When he was finally done, he stood up, grabbed the bucket, and promptly dumped it into the sink.
My mother recalls him saying, "I can't believe I just did that."
She was apparently in hysterics by the end of it.
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Cookies Galore
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I don't need no instructions to know how to rock
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Post by Cookies Galore on Jan 12, 2015 20:14:51 GMT -5
Last week I went to warm up the car and hit the manual door lock, and I go back inside our building. I finish getting ready for work and go out to the car and the key fob on the spare isn't working. I can't unlock the door! I locked the keys in the ignition! I'm freaking out! Hubs comes out and, yup, inserts the key in the door and manually unlocks the door. I had to take a train 10 minutes later than my usual one because of my lapse of common sense.
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Jan 12, 2015 20:22:31 GMT -5
Well the LATEST was last week when I tried to give the Barfy boy his transdermal anti-acid orally. It took me a couple of minutes to figure out why he was spitting it out. DH normally gives the barfy boy his meds but left for the cabin on Sunday the 4th. All four of us were supposed to drive down to the cabin together to meet the MIL for her 80th birthday. But the 15 year old barfy boy decided to mix it up with a raccoon on NYE day and the vet didn't think it was a good idea for him to travel. So poor me had to stay home...and avoid all the MIL drama! Are you sure you didn't set this up deliberately?
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Jan 12, 2015 20:27:06 GMT -5
Oh, where to begin... I could start with the several times I have completely freaked out about going blind after I put both contacts in and still could not see. It helps one's vision if both contacts are not in the same eye. I'm sure I will think of some more. Along these lines.....I'm blind without my contacts. Totally blind, my prescription is a -11 sort of blind. I've worn contacts since I was 12. One morning, I woke up and could see clearly. I went running downstairs to proclaim a miracle had happened! I could see without contacts or glasses! Until I realized I fell asleep with my contacts in. Whoops!
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flamingo
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Post by flamingo on Jan 12, 2015 20:38:10 GMT -5
Well, this is one of my DH's, not mine. He wears reading glasses, and has since I've known him. One day, early on in our relationship, he walks out of his office yelling at me about how he's such an idiot and how come life hates him and how come he always loses his reading glasses right when he needs them. So he wants to know if i can stop what I'm doing (cooking dinner) to help him look for his reading glasses. Sure, dear, I'd be happy to drop everything I'm doing to help. Did you bother to look on the top of your head where you left them? !
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Bonny
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Post by Bonny on Jan 12, 2015 20:47:41 GMT -5
Well the LATEST was last week when I tried to give the Barfy boy his transdermal anti-acid orally. It took me a couple of minutes to figure out why he was spitting it out. DH normally gives the barfy boy his meds but left for the cabin on Sunday the 4th. All four of us were supposed to drive down to the cabin together to meet the MIL for her 80th birthday. But the 15 year old barfy boy decided to mix it up with a raccoon on NYE day and the vet didn't think it was a good idea for him to travel. So poor me had to stay home...and avoid all the MIL drama! Are you sure you didn't set this up deliberately? LOL, you're not the only one to accuse me of that. The vet and I shared a knowing chuckle when she called to follow up one him. A looooooong chuckle.
I'd say I owe her except I think we spent over $5k on the cats this year!
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swamp
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THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS!!!!!!!
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Post by swamp on Jan 12, 2015 20:47:54 GMT -5
I kept hitting the unlock button on my car key fob. I was pointing it at my office door and was very confused as to why the door would not open.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Jan 12, 2015 20:51:34 GMT -5
Well the LATEST was last week when I tried to give the Barfy boy his transdermal anti-acid orally. It took me a couple of minutes to figure out why he was spitting it out. DH normally gives the barfy boy his meds but left for the cabin on Sunday the 4th. All four of us were supposed to drive down to the cabin together to meet the MIL for her 80th birthday. But the 15 year old barfy boy decided to mix it up with a raccoon on NYE day and the vet didn't think it was a good idea for him to travel. So poor me had to stay home...and avoid all the MIL drama! Thanks, Bonny, for mentioning transdermal anti acid. I did not know about the med and ability to compound it into a transdermsl form. My old (almost) 19-year-old cat vomits first thing in the morning upon waking. The vomit contains no food just stomach 'juices'. It is that, having an an otherwise empty stomach in the morning which may be causing him to vomit. Maybe the td anti acid will make it better for him. He is already on transdermal meds for thyroid problems. I will check with the vet tomorrow.
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suesinfl
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Post by suesinfl on Jan 12, 2015 21:38:27 GMT -5
When my kids were really young, I had picked up my son from daycare and stopped by the store before I picked up my daughter from after school care. I had a few moments of panic when I realized that I locked the van with my son inside. I forgot that I had the keys in my hand. I was under a lot of stress at the time.
Because of the stress I also left my purse in the grocery cart in the parking lot and didn't realize it until later that night.
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GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl
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"How you win matters." Ender, Ender's Game
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Post by GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl on Jan 12, 2015 21:52:32 GMT -5
I'm one of those morning multi-taskers who is always trying to accomplish one more household task before leaving for work. That usually means that I am bolting out the door, late for work. All too often I have discovered later at work that my underwear or a blouse is on inside out or that I have two different shoes on.
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Bonny
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Post by Bonny on Jan 12, 2015 22:07:12 GMT -5
Well the LATEST was last week when I tried to give the Barfy boy his transdermal anti-acid orally. It took me a couple of minutes to figure out why he was spitting it out. DH normally gives the barfy boy his meds but left for the cabin on Sunday the 4th. All four of us were supposed to drive down to the cabin together to meet the MIL for her 80th birthday. But the 15 year old barfy boy decided to mix it up with a raccoon on NYE day and the vet didn't think it was a good idea for him to travel. So poor me had to stay home...and avoid all the MIL drama! Thanks, Bonny, for mentioning transdermal anti acid. I did not know about the med and ability to compound it into a transdermsl form. My old (almost) 19-year-old cat vomits first thing in the morning upon waking. The vomit contains no food just stomach 'juices'. It is that, having an an otherwise empty stomach in the morning which may be causing him to vomit. Maybe the td anti acid will make it better for him. He is already on transdermal meds for thyroid problems. I will check with the vet tomorrow. It's been AMAZING. Nikki aka the Barfy boy has always had a problem with regurgitating his food. We started giving him this med about 6 weeks ago and absolutely no issues.
It was a little internet work for DH but we found one just north of us. If you can't find one locally PM me. Fortunately the med doesn't require refrigeration so I'm sure it could be shipped to you.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Jan 12, 2015 22:33:35 GMT -5
Thanks, Bonny, for mentioning transdermal anti acid. I did not know about the med and ability to compound it into a transdermsl form. My old (almost) 19-year-old cat vomits first thing in the morning upon waking. The vomit contains no food just stomach 'juices'. It is that, having an an otherwise empty stomach in the morning which may be causing him to vomit. Maybe the td anti acid will make it better for him. He is already on transdermal meds for thyroid problems. I will check with the vet tomorrow. It's been AMAZING. Nikki aka the Barfy boy has always had a problem with regurgitating his food. We started giving him this med about 6 weeks ago and absolutely no issues.
It was a little internet work for DH but we found one just north of us. If you can't find one locally PM me. Fortunately the med doesn't require refrigeration so I'm sure it could be shipped to you.
Took the old boy to the vets todsy as they wanted to check his thyroid levels before the renewed his perscription. The place where I get his thyroid medicine compounds it for me. So I will ask fhe vet if the anti acid would be good for him and if yes, contact the drug store which compounds his thyroid meds and see if they would also do the anti acid. Thanks for the tip.
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msventoux
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Post by msventoux on Jan 12, 2015 22:34:39 GMT -5
I've meant to apply Chapstick at work and inadvertently grabbed a glue stick instead. A glue stick doesn't help with moisturizing your lips, nor does it glue your lips shut, much to the dismay of my coworkers.
I know someone who grabbed a tube of Vagisil and thought it was toothpaste. Both him and his new girlfriend were mortified when they discovered what he'd done after him complaining that her toothpaste must be from a bad lot.
I also know someone who was a maintenance guy at a trailer park. A waste line got clogged and he was underneath working on one of the pipes. For some reason he told the lady to go ahead and flush the disgustingly full toilet when he thought the clog was clear but hadn't closed up the pipe access. He got a face full of sewage.
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Peace Of Mind
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[font color="#8f2520"]~ Drinks Well With Others ~[/font]
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Jan 12, 2015 22:38:30 GMT -5
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Jan 12, 2015 22:50:06 GMT -5
Oh, where to begin... I could start with the several times I have completely freaked out about going blind after I put both contacts in and still could not see. It helps one's vision if both contacts are not in the same eye. I'm sure I will think of some more. Along these lines.....I'm blind without my contacts. Totally blind, my prescription is a -11 sort of blind. I've worn contacts since I was 12. One morning, I woke up and could see clearly. I went running downstairs to proclaim a miracle had happened! I could see without contacts or glasses! Until I realized I fell asleep with my contacts in. Whoops! That is so kickazz! Sounds like something I would do.
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Works4me
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Someone responded to your personal ad - a German Shepherd named Tara wants to have you for dinner...
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Post by Works4me on Jan 12, 2015 22:57:30 GMT -5
Several years ago I was on my way out the door to a lunch meeting and dumped my purse on the couch to find my keys - scooped everything, including the remote control, then tried to use the remote to make a cell phone call at the luncheon - the people at my table loved it and it became a standing joke whenever the speaker was boring.
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