The Sexodus: The Men Giving Up On Women And Checking Out

[AgeOfEnlightenmentSCP]

Jan 6, 2015 16:37:34 GMT -5 hurley1980 said:

I've read this and similar articles about this trend, and as a 34 year old woman in the thick of the dating scene, I have to admit the result is true (even if the premise is not).  Dudes have straight given up on themselves.  It's really sad to be honest.

You would be amazed how hard it is to find a guy who has a job AND a car these days.  Shit I've met plenty that dont have either!  Thats really giving up on life....

Here's the straight up facts of life- and some may love me or hate me for saying it, but it's the truth:

At 34, the guys with jobs AND cars are already married. Yes, the average age of marriage is steadily climbing, but 30's and 40's are no man's land for marriage- especially for women. The average age is skewed upwards by second marriages. Focusing on the average age has led some women to believe that it's OK to wait until their 30's or later to get married. It's OK, it's just more difficult.

[hurley1980]

I agree Paul....by mid 30's all the good ones are taken!  And if they aren't, they are probably overwhelmed by all the desperate clock ticking 30 something women out there dying to get married and have babies.  I will readily admit I waited way too long to settle down.  I'll probably be a bachelorette for the rest of my life....which is just fine with me.

But seriously, can't a dude pick up the dinner check for once?!?!

[billisonboard]

Jan 6, 2015 16:37:34 GMT -5 hurley1980 said:

...

You would be amazed how hard it is to find a guy who has a job AND a car these days.  Shit I've met plenty that dont have either!  Thats really giving up on life....

[/p][/quote]
Is job and car ownership a gender specific or a gender neutral criteria for having not given up on life?

[weltschmerz]

Jan 6, 2015 9:46:02 GMT -5 AgeOfEnlightenmentSCP said:

Very interesting read re: the late stages of the war on boys and especially manhood (which is what the war on boys is really all about).
www.breitbart.com/london/2014/12/04/the-sexodus-part-1-the-men-giving-up-on-women-and-checking-out-of-society/

The Sexodus:

The Men Giving Up On Women And Checking Out Of Society

“My generation of boys is f**ked.”, says Rupert, a young German video game enthusiast I’ve been getting to know over the past few months. “Marriage is dead. Divorce means you’re screwed for life. Women have given up on monogamy, which makes them uninteresting to us for any serious relationship or raising a family. That’s just the way it is. Even if we take the risk, chances are the kids won’t be ours. In France, we even have to pay for the kids a wife has through adulterous affairs.

“In school, boys are screwed over time and again. Schools are engineered for women. In the US, they force-feed boys Ritalin like Skittles to shut them up. And while girls are favoured to fulfil quotas, men are slipping into distant second place.

“Nobody in my generation believes they’re going to get a meaningful retirement. We have a third or a quarter of the wealth previous generations had, and everyone’s fleeing to higher education to stave off unemployment and poverty because there are no jobs.

“All that wouldn’t be so bad if we could at least dull the pain with girls. But we’re treated like paedophiles and potential rapists just for showing interest. My generation are the beautiful ones,” he sighs, referring to a 1960s experiment on mice that supposedly predicted a grim future for the human race.

After overpopulation ran out of control, the female mice in John Calhoun’s “mouse universe” experiment stopped breeding, and the male mice withdrew from the company of others entirely, eating, sleeping, feeding and grooming themselves but doing little else. They had shiny coats, but empty lives.

“The parallels are astounding,” says Rupert.

WTF?
Dull the pain with girls? We're no better than opioids or a couple of drinks?
Then you complain that WE'RE not monogamous?

Priceless.

[weltschmerz]

Jan 6, 2015 17:11:18 GMT -5 hurley1980 said:

I agree Paul....by mid 30's all the good ones are taken!  And if they aren't, they are probably overwhelmed by all the desperate clock ticking 30 something women out there dying to get married and have babies.  I will readily admit I waited way too long to settle down.  I'll probably be a bachelorette for the rest of my life....which is just fine with me.

But seriously, can't a dude pick up the dinner check for once?!?!

Why should he?

[EVT1]

Jan 6, 2015 16:44:53 GMT -5 AgeOfEnlightenmentSCP said:

Jan 6, 2015 16:37:34 GMT -5 hurley1980 said:

I've read this and similar articles about this trend, and as a 34 year old woman in the thick of the dating scene, I have to admit the result is true (even if the premise is not).  Dudes have straight given up on themselves.  It's really sad to be honest.

You would be amazed how hard it is to find a guy who has a job AND a car these days.  Shit I've met plenty that dont have either!  Thats really giving up on life....

Here's the straight up facts of life- and some may love me or hate me for saying it, but it's the truth:

At 34, the guys with jobs AND cars are already married. Yes, the average age of marriage is steadily climbing, but 30's and 40's are no man's land for marriage- especially for women. The average age is skewed upwards by second marriages. Focusing on the average age has led some women to believe that it's OK to wait until their 30's or later to get married. It's OK, it's just more difficult.

I don't buy that crap- most of the people I know got married in their 30's.  Some younger and some older.  The ones I know that were married in their 20's are running about 50% on the 'till death do us part' thing.  I know a few never married, and a few married multiple times.  Getting married because of societies rules is asking for trouble.  Both my parents- who married young and got divorced- got remarried in their late 30's and early 40's and in both cases that is the one that lasted.

Plenty of nice men and women out there available- so these weirdos complaining that all the women are cheaters or that the problem is not themselves need a reality check. 

[justme]

Well damn, someone start the count down clock on when you all can buy me a justme is old as dust kittens!

[weltschmerz]

Jan 6, 2015 22:16:47 GMT -5 justme said:

Well damn, someone start the count down clock on when you all can buy me a justme is old as dust kittens!

What?

[justme]

Jan 6, 2015 22:21:26 GMT -5 weltschmerz said:

Jan 6, 2015 22:16:47 GMT -5 justme said:

Well damn, someone start the count down clock on when you all can buy me a justme is old as dust kittens!

What?

The remark that women are out of luck with marrying in their 30s + stereotype of old single women having lots of cats.

[Deleted]

The assumption seems to be that being married is the superior state and happiness isn't' possible without it. It wasn't possible for me to be happy married. And being married in his twenties doesn't prove a man is a good one. I am the kind of woman making it diificult for these guys to get married. Oh well, I don't"t want to be married to them. Deal with it.

[EVT1]

Jan 6, 2015 22:08:37 GMT -5 Sum Dum Gai said:

In my circle of family and acquaintances there does seem to be a fair amount of cheating going on, but I'd say it's a fifty fifty split in terms of which gender has something on the side.

Why?  Why would anyone want to get married and then cheat?  It isn't even the sex- it is the lies. 

Marriage is a commitment to not do that. 

Don't want to honor the agreement- don't get married.  Simple. 

[EVT1]

I know the type- will never be happy because they might miss a better deal. Seen it in men and women.  Avoid those people they have personal issues that in my experience have never been able to overcome.

[AgeOfEnlightenmentSCP]

Jan 6, 2015 22:02:19 GMT -5 EVT1 said:

Jan 6, 2015 16:44:53 GMT -5 AgeOfEnlightenmentSCP said:

Here's the straight up facts of life- and some may love me or hate me for saying it, but it's the truth:

At 34, the guys with jobs AND cars are already married. Yes, the average age of marriage is steadily climbing, but 30's and 40's are no man's land for marriage- especially for women. The average age is skewed upwards by second marriages. Focusing on the average age has led some women to believe that it's OK to wait until their 30's or later to get married. It's OK, it's just more difficult.

I don't buy that crap- most of the people I know got married in their 30's.  Some younger and some older.  The ones I know that were married in their 20's are running about 50% on the 'till death do us part' thing.  I know a few never married, and a few married multiple times.  Getting married because of societies rules is asking for trouble.  Both my parents- who married young and got divorced- got remarried in their late 30's and early 40's and in both cases that is the one that lasted.

Plenty of nice men and women out there available- so these weirdos complaining that all the women are cheaters or that the problem is not themselves need a reality check. 

I'm not saying what anyone should or shouldn't do.  I'm saying that if marriage and family- especially if that means children- are on a timer. For those who have it as a priority-- regardless of how it ultimately turns out-- they're married before age 34.  It's not a value judgment, it's a statement of fact.

[AgeOfEnlightenmentSCP]

Jan 6, 2015 18:01:51 GMT -5 Sum Dum Gai said:

I remember as a kid hearing that a woman who had never been married at age 35 had a better chance of dying in a plane crash than getting married in her lifetime. I highly doubt it was or is true, but it's one of those random snatches of conversation that stuck with me. I think it was my grandmother talking to my aunt about her long term fiancee.

The chances of a person doing anything are greatly affected by their desire to do it.  If you want to get married, it may be more difficult as you get older to find someone with whom you're compatible, and that you'd want to marry- but if marriage is a priority, you'll probably do it.

[hurley1980]

Jan 6, 2015 19:13:27 GMT -5 weltschmerz said:

Jan 6, 2015 17:11:18 GMT -5 hurley1980 said:

I agree Paul....by mid 30's all the good ones are taken!  And if they aren't, they are probably overwhelmed by all the desperate clock ticking 30 something women out there dying to get married and have babies.  I will readily admit I waited way too long to settle down.  I'll probably be a bachelorette for the rest of my life....which is just fine with me.

But seriously, can't a dude pick up the dinner check for once?!?!

Why should he?

Dude!  Because he asked me out!  I'm all for picking it up every other time, or when I ask, but if you ask me out on a date, run up a huge booze tab, and then expect me to pay it, you aren't getting a second date. 

[kittensaver]

Jan 7, 2015 14:49:51 GMT -5 hurley1980 said:

Jan 6, 2015 19:13:27 GMT -5 weltschmerz said:

Why should he?

Dude!  Because he asked me out!  I'm all for picking it up every other time, or when I ask, but if you ask me out on a date, run up a huge booze tab, and then expect me to pay it, you aren't getting a second date. 

WORD.

Whoever does the inviting does the paying. This is a gender-neutral construct. Not hard to understand.

ETA: that said - has anyone else found this article to be so riddled with stereotypes and clichés that it's hardly worth trying to comment?

[weltschmerz]

Even if a guy asks me out, I insist on paying for my own meal.

I've had enough of "Well, I bought you dinner. What are you going to do for me? Put out, baby!"

[weltschmerz]

Jan 7, 2015 15:18:07 GMT -5 Sum Dum Gai said:

I've had enough of "Well, I bought you dinner. What are you going to do for me? Put out, baby!"

Seriously?  Are you meeting these guys at college frat parties or what?

You'd be surprised at how many men expect to get their money's worth.

[kittensaver]

Jan 7, 2015 15:19:43 GMT -5 weltschmerz said:

Jan 7, 2015 15:18:07 GMT -5 Sum Dum Gai said:

Seriously?  Are you meeting these guys at college frat parties or what?

You'd be surprised at how many men expect to get their money's worth.

This does not surprise me at all. I've known two men (co-workers) whose attitude was: "Well if she agrees to go on a date with me, that means she is agreeing to have sex with me." They honestly believed it.

[weltschmerz]

Jan 7, 2015 15:24:40 GMT -5 kittensaver said:

Jan 7, 2015 15:19:43 GMT -5 weltschmerz said:

You'd be surprised at how many men expect to get their money's worth.

This does not surprise me at all. I've known two men (co-workers) whose attitude was: "Well if she agrees to go on a date with me, that means she is agreeing to have sex with me." They honestly believed it.

Unfortunately, that attitude is still far too prevalent.

[weltschmerz]

Jan 7, 2015 15:26:02 GMT -5 Sum Dum Gai said:

You'd be surprised at how many men expect to get their money's worth.

I guess, but where do you meet guys that think shagging you is worth the cost of one meal?  If they buy you a plane ticket to Hawaii, hotel room, etc. so you can vacation together I could see a certain expectation that there will be some enthusiastic nighttime activities going on, but getting laid for buying one meal... dayum.  You gotta start dating a better class of guys.  Do they ever just offer you a couple twenties for a quickie and skip the whole dinner thing?

It's one reason why I don't use dating sites anymore.

[happyhoix]

I have to agree that Rupert, the young video game enthusiast, sounds like a bitter little soul.

I have to wonder if he spends the bulk of his time parked in front of his video screen in his momma's basement, playing war games, eating strudel and drinking that nice German beer until he's forgotten his social skills and developed a nice beer gut. Now he's angry that all the beautiful women don't seem to be interested in him. 

Reminds me of that little nut job who started shooting up the college campus out West because the really pretty girls didn't give him the time of day. 

 

[hurley1980]

 Thats the first guy I thought of when I read this article.

[Deleted]

Jan 7, 2015 0:55:11 GMT -5 EVT1 said:

Jan 6, 2015 22:08:37 GMT -5 Sum Dum Gai said:

In my circle of family and acquaintances there does seem to be a fair amount of cheating going on, but I'd say it's a fifty fifty split in terms of which gender has something on the side.

Why?  Why would anyone want to get married and then cheat?  It isn't even the sex- it is the lies. 

Marriage is a commitment to not do that. 

Don't want to honor the agreement- don't get married.  Simple. 

Marriage is a commitment to not do what?

Cheat? Yeah. I'll give you that one.
Have sex with others? That would depend on the vows (not everyone's vows include some variation of "forsaking all others" or "keeping only unto thee")... wouldn't it?

I wholeheartedly agree with the bolded though.

[Deleted]

Jan 7, 2015 14:49:51 GMT -5 hurley1980 said:

Jan 6, 2015 19:13:27 GMT -5 weltschmerz said:

Why should he?

Dude!  Because he asked me out!  I'm all for picking it up every other time, or when I ask, but if you ask me out on a date, run up a huge booze tab, and then expect me to pay it, you aren't getting a second date. 

Yeah.... that's not acceptable.

Go "Dutch" would be the least a real man would even consider... expecting the lady to pay HIS portion... Not acceptable.

[mmhmm]

Jan 7, 2015 14:49:51 GMT -5 hurley1980 said:

Jan 6, 2015 19:13:27 GMT -5 weltschmerz said:

Why should he?

Dude!  Because he asked me out!  I'm all for picking it up every other time, or when I ask, but if you ask me out on a date, run up a huge booze tab, and then expect me to pay it, you aren't getting a second date. 

Gah! Cad, meet curb! There's no way!

[EVT1]

Jan 7, 2015 20:27:18 GMT -5 @richardintn said:

Jan 7, 2015 0:55:11 GMT -5 EVT1 said:

Why?  Why would anyone want to get married and then cheat?  It isn't even the sex- it is the lies. 

Marriage is a commitment to not do that. 

Don't want to honor the agreement- don't get married.  Simple. 

Marriage is a commitment to not do what?

Cheat? Yeah. I'll give you that one.
Have sex with others? That would depend on the vows (not everyone's vows include some variation of "forsaking all others" or "keeping only unto thee")... wouldn't it?

I wholeheartedly agree with the bolded though.

Even in an open marriage there could be cheating.  Whatever floats your boat I guess- I don't cheat and I don't give second chances.

I made sure I had enough sex during the proper time for it- probably why marriages in the 30's and 40's outlast the ones made in the 20's.  I remember a guy I worked with- was 20 and married a 19yo young lady headed to college- I gave it 2 years and it didn't make it 6 months. 

[AgeOfEnlightenmentSCP]

Jan 7, 2015 14:49:51 GMT -5 hurley1980 said:

Jan 6, 2015 19:13:27 GMT -5 weltschmerz said:

Why should he?

Dude!  Because he asked me out!  I'm all for picking it up every other time, or when I ask, but if you ask me out on a date, run up a huge booze tab, and then expect me to pay it, you aren't getting a second date. 

That's some bullshit right there.  I agree that if you are the invitor, you pay for the invitee.

[AgeOfEnlightenmentSCP]

The bulk of marriages occurred by age 28, with relatively few marriages taking place at age 35 or after.

www.bls.gov/opub/mlr/2013/article/pdf/marriage-and-divorce-patterns-by-gender-race-and-educational-attainment.pdf

As to younger couples higher divorce rate- this is true, however, it would seem that those who get married younger also share another corollary- lack of a college degree. Educational attainment seems to have more of an impact than age, but it just so happens those without a college degree (for semi-obvious reasons) get married younger. Same link:

College graduates and those with less education married at approximately the same rates, but college graduates married later (at age 24.9 versus age 22.8). The probability of divorce for those with a college degree was lower compared with those without a college degree. College graduates were 10 percentage points less likely to divorce.