Do you want a spa day???

[TheHaitian]

Not for you silly.... for your kids?

And we are not talking your boring mommy-daughter nail day outing. Pfff, that is small potatoes, keep up now ...

www.nytimes.com/2015/01/03/us/after-a-spa-day-looking-years-younger-ok-theyre-only-7.html?&target=comments&hp&action=click&pgtype=Homepage&modref=HPCommentsRefer&module=photo-spot-region&region=top-news&WT.nav=top-news&_r=1#commentsContainer

These sanctuaries of luxury proudly pamper their charges, wrapping them in custom-size robes, suggesting oil rubs for heels worn rough by barefoot play, and lifting clients onto massage tables when they are too small to do it themselves. On the high end, the “kids’ treatments” menu at the Beverly Wilshire spa in Beverly Hills, Calif., charges $50 for a 15-minute “princess facial,” which includes “a facial cleanse and massage.” For the mass market, there is the $30 Orbeez Luxury Spa at Toys “R” Us, a toy that looks like a pedicure station in which girls can immerse their feet in tiny gel-filled balls.

At the party here in Aurora last month, Paige’s mother, Kari Ehresman, 33, said she was thrilled to be able to treat the girls to a day of playful pampering.

“They do deserve something special,” said Ms. Ehresman, who paid about $400 for the party. Paige and her 8-year-old sister, Makayla, had begged for beauty treatments, but Ms. Ehresman had found her own adult spa to be inappropriate for them.

“I don’t want them to feel that my saying ‘no’ means that I don’t love them,” she said.

What an awesome mommy!!!

Nearby, Ken and Jen Brown raved about the manicure given to their toddler, Faith, 3, as a birthday treat. As Faith scooted her diapered rear out of her seat, Mr. Brown, 41, explained that they had arranged for her to take a ride in the spa’s limousine.

And after that?

“Well,” he said somewhat sheepishly, “we want to get her potty trained.”

Just because she is still not potty trained doesn't mean she doesn't DESERVE IT!!!

Lisa Gadzinski, 48, and her sister opened Seriously Spoiled on Long Island in 2008. The business, based in Patchogue, N.Y., has not only weathered the recession, but thrived, expanding to two more locations.

The International Spa Association, which tracks industry trends, said that 25 percent of the country’s approximately 20,000 spas now offer services specifically for the under-13 set — up from 15 percent just four years ago. And half of all spas offer services for teenagers, up from a third over the same time period.

At one New York-area chain, Seriously Spoiled Salon and Spa, parties cost $500 to $3,000, and options include a “bath-bakery” experience, with lotions that smell like edible treats. (Tag line: “Where the main ingredient is you.”)

Dark, that is the kind of place you should have open... not a toy store!

I LOVE AMERICA   

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

Holy crap!

<doesn't want to admit to getting her DDs facials this summer>

[milee]

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

Mine aren't toddlers though! Please forgive me!

[milee]

Jan 4, 2015 20:36:10 GMT -5 Knee Deep in Water Chloe said:

Mine aren't toddlers though! Please forgive me!

The  wasn't directed at you - it was at the things going on in the OP. 

[TheHaitian]

I don't get it... I believe it is GENIUS! evil but still GENIUS!!!

Little girls want to be princesses
Parents want to pamper their princesses
TADA.... there is a need so they filled the demand.

Now it can be more than a simple outing on Saturday with mommy to get nails done.
Like grown ups they can get the full spa experience with their besties!

[milee]

Jan 4, 2015 20:39:53 GMT -5 TheHaitian said:

I don't get it... I believe it is GENIUS! evil but still GENIUS!!!

From a business standpoint, I have no problems with it whatsoever. It's a business selling a legal product to a consenting adult (the parent is paying).

Similar to prostitution.  I have no issues at all with it from a business standpoint - transaction between two consenting adults.  But I still find it a little icky and wouldn't want to personally be involved in it.  And OK, I'll admit it - depending on the circumstances - would be likely to judge people who use the service in most cases. 

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

Jan 4, 2015 20:38:23 GMT -5 milee said:

Jan 4, 2015 20:36:10 GMT -5 Knee Deep in Water Chloe said:

Mine aren't toddlers though! Please forgive me!

The  wasn't directed at you - it was at the things going on in the OP. 

I know. I was just being silly.

[Deleted]

I think I got to sue my parent for not taking care of me proper!! All I got was food, shelter, clothes. No spas. I think if caught primping I got spanked. I could have been entitled snot if they taught me right!

[giramomma]

Crap. I had a whole big post and I lost it.

See if I can condense it.

Don't see what the problem is. My kids have been to 20 birthday parties in the last two years. 4 were at home, the rest were easily $400 in a sitting. Places like bounces houses and laser tag aren't exactly cheap, even in a MCOLA.

People who have money will spend it.  I think saying "I deserve it/my kids deserve it" is a little more palatable than "I make a shit ton of money and I'll spend it as I see fit."

Two kids from DS's class. So 10-11 years old.

Kid A got at least 1K in Christmas presents (The kid got a trip to see the Packers play in Tampa. I'm figuring the trip alone ran 1K). He's the youngest of 4. Parents live in 600K house, have a second lake house. They aren't getting their 10 yo kid a $150 lego set and calling it "good." They aren't about to raise their kids like we do.

Kid B had a birthday party at Halloween. Kids went to the "best" haunted house, and out to dinner at about 9. The parents had the entire restaurant shut down, except for the boys. They also live in a million dollar house, drive two expensive cars (I'm guessing close to 100K between the two). DS usually gets $50 gifts from this kid when he comes to DS's birthday party. Again, these types of folks aren't going to say "Well, if Jesus got three gifts, it's also good enough for you." when it comes to Christmas.

People who have money are going to spend it. And frankly, if we had that kind of income, we'd probably spend it too.


The only thing that I'm a little surprised at is that the Times would run a piece like this. I'd figure this is more of a Slate.com piece.

[alinal]

I don't see the problem, either. If you can afford it, why not let your kids have a spa day party? When I was a poor kid 20+ years ago, we did "at-home" spa nights with friends - facial masks, nail painting, makeup, etc.

At one of the nail places I visit, they have kid-sized chairs for pedicures. I can't remember ever seeing a kid there, but if my super-girly niece ever comes to visit me (she's 4 now), I'm sure I'd treat her to a pedicure.

[NancysSummerSip]

I don't see it as an issue. Partly because if the parents can pay and the business model is there to support it, it's all good.

But I see it as a good thing for another reason. It just might encourage kids (and I mean boys and girls, because I don't see why boys should not get facials, foot and hand treatments, too) to love their bodies as they are and learn early on to take care of themselves. The early introduction to proper skin and health care just might make a difference, petty and silly though it may seem now at their young ages. I was introduced to good skin care at a very young age; my mother took me to a professional skincare/makeup person, rather than let me meddle with her stuff on my own. I never forgot the lessons and still use most of them today.

[billisonboard]

Jan 5, 2015 10:28:51 GMT -5 NancysSummerSip said:

...
... It just might encourage kids ... to love their bodies as they are ...

What is taking place alters bodies from what "they are".

[NancysSummerSip]

Jan 5, 2015 10:44:20 GMT -5 billisonboard said:

Jan 5, 2015 10:28:51 GMT -5 NancysSummerSip said:

...
... It just might encourage kids ... to love their bodies as they are ...

What is taking place alters bodies from what "they are".

Not really. A manicure/pedicure/facial does not alter the basic body part. It cares for and enhances what is already there.

Now if we are talking plastic surgery for kids, that's different. But a little paint on the nails or lotion on the face won't alter the person, just make the outside look a bit better for awhile. Same thing with makeup. Judicious use of it does not change the essential person, just enhances what's already there.

[bobosensei]

Jan 5, 2015 11:23:58 GMT -5 NancysSummerSip said:

Jan 5, 2015 10:44:20 GMT -5 billisonboard said:

What is taking place alters bodies from what "they are".

Not really. A manicure/pedicure/facial does not alter the basic body part. It cares for and enhances what is already there.

Now if we are talking plastic surgery for kids, that's different. But a little paint on the nails or lotion on the face won't alter the person, just make the outside look a bit better for awhile. Same thing with makeup. Judicious use of it does not change the essential person, just enhances what's already there.

I would say it is more likely to make them superficial and insecure.  They will start to believe that they aren't pretty unless they are all made up.

But I get the point that parents go overboard and what is the difference between this and spending thousands on a different kind of party.

I don't take myself to the spa enough so I certainly won't do it for a kid!

[HoneyBBQ]

I personally think it's horrifying. But I'm not really a girly girl. I don't want my little girl growing up to think she's a princess; she's not.

I don't mind spending money on her. Definitely not, but it's not going to be supporting an idea that she is a beauty queen. I'd way rather blow that money on laser tag or bounce houses or more gender neutral play. Because that's what it is -- "play". I don't really think going to a spa is 'play'.

Spas are for several things:
relaxing (works great when you're an adult and have the stress of the world on your shoulders)
maintaining fingernails/toes, etc (it can be said a polished presentation is important for some)
time away from others responsibilities (kids don't have many to get away from)


so... I just don't get it.

[swasat]

My 7yo DD is not "princess-y" in technical terms. Is not into princesses, makeup, frills and bows and girly stuff.  However she beats everyone when it comes to "princess-y attitude"

I am actively trying to make her understand she wasn't born to royalty

[ArchietheDragon]

Jan 5, 2015 11:50:21 GMT -5 HoneyBBQ said:

I personally think it's horrifying. But I'm not really a girly girl. I don't want my little girl growing up to think she's a princess; she's not.

I don't mind spending money on her. Definitely not, but it's not going to be supporting an idea that she is a beauty queen. I'd way rather blow that money on laser tag or bounce houses or more gender neutral play. Because that's what it is -- "play". I don't really think going to a spa is 'play'.

Spas are for several things:
relaxing (works great when you're an adult and have the stress of the world on your shoulders)
maintaining fingernails/toes, etc (it can be said a polished presentation is important for some)
time away from others responsibilities (kids don't have many to get away from)


so... I just don't get it.

Kids have stress.    Being the kid to one of the parents in that story must be very stressful. 

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I can't imagine my four year old sitting still long enough to do all that. No way I'd pay $500 to have her say "Mommy I hate it" and get up.

She also has had issues with eczema and the last thing I want is to spend money only to have her look like she came out of an industrial oven. I avoid spa treatments/facials for the same reasons.

She does love to have her nails done. She's been to the nail salon twice. I took her with me before I had Abby to spend some time together. Then DH did a daddy/daughter day for her birthday. Cost us about $15 each time and she was happier than a clam.

While she enjoys that she actually prefers having mommy do her nails even though I am horrible at it.

It's all about spending time with me for her, she doesn't care where we do it.

Is it bad to admit I want an Orbeez for myself?

[alinal]

Going to a spa as a kid would be playing at being an adult. Kids play at being adults all the time (see: toy motorized cars (not that I ever had one of those), tea parties, construction toys, playing school/doctor/house, etc.). I don't think a fun spa day would turn kids into beauty queen wannabes or give them body/image issues unless those issues were being reinforced by their parents.

Also, spa days aren't just a girl activity, boys could be included, too.

[NancysSummerSip]

Jan 5, 2015 11:40:04 GMT -5 bobosensei said:

Jan 5, 2015 11:23:58 GMT -5 NancysSummerSip said:

Not really. A manicure/pedicure/facial does not alter the basic body part. It cares for and enhances what is already there.

Now if we are talking plastic surgery for kids, that's different. But a little paint on the nails or lotion on the face won't alter the person, just make the outside look a bit better for awhile. Same thing with makeup. Judicious use of it does not change the essential person, just enhances what's already there.

I would say it is more likely to make them superficial and insecure.  They will start to believe that they aren't pretty unless they are all made up. Sure it could. It could also teach them to pay attention to the little things about themselves, put their best foot forward and look their best when going out in public. You know, sort of the way people used to. Nowadays, it's PJs on the airplane and in the grocery store, hoodies everywhere including the 'hood and pants worn below the buttcrack. A little pampering and instruction from the pros might go a long way towards instilling a bit of self-respect.

But I get the point that parents go overboard and what is the difference between this and spending thousands on a different kind of party. Not much. But it's their money. They could have a party for the kid and make him/her turn it into a feed-the-homeless bash, or donate-presents-to-less-fortunate-kids shindig. I think either way, whatever they do, the event can be a good teaching/learning tool, depending on how the parent does it.

I don't take myself to the spa enough so I certainly won't do it for a kid! I don't do the big spa thing, either. Well, I do manicures and waxing, but honestly, the manicures are because I can and the waxing is because I have to. Would I do it for a child of mine, or a niece/nephew? Sure, if they were into it. No girly girls among them, though.

[billisonboard]

Jan 5, 2015 10:28:51 GMT -5 NancysSummerSip said:

... It just might encourage kids ... to love their bodies as they are ...

Jan 5, 2015 11:23:58 GMT -5 NancysSummerSip said:

... make the outside look a bit better for awhile. ...

Those two statements contradict each other in my mind.

[billisonboard]

Jan 5, 2015 12:15:04 GMT -5 NancysSummerSip said:

... the waxing is because I have to. ...

Medical conditions that require treatment can be such a pain. I hope that it is less than a "life threatening" condition that necessitates the waxing.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I hope that it is less than a "life threatening" condition that necessitates the waxing.

Oh it's life threatening. I heard Nancy almost got mistaken for Big Foot when she went a month without waxing.

[raeoflyte]

As a birthday party I don't see a problem with it.  We spent just over $300 for a water park party for ds.  Expensive for one day, but not an everyday occurrence.  

The spa day experience and the services received are usually touted as monthly necessities which is where you can skew kids perceptions and expectations.  

[ArchietheDragon]

Jan 5, 2015 13:40:41 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

The spa day experience and the services received are usually touted as monthly necessities which is where you can skew kids perceptions and expectations.  

I agree.  I just read on another thread someone who didn't know how to stop biting their nails without going to regular manicures.     This type of conditioning does make things seem like necessities. 

[giramomma]

Jan 5, 2015 13:40:41 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

As a birthday party I don't see a problem with it.  We spent just over $300 for a water park party for ds.  Expensive for one day, but not an everyday occurrence.  

The spa day experience and the services received are usually touted as monthly necessities which is where you can skew kids perceptions and expectations.  

I think it depends. When I took DD1 for a mani, we got the full "adult" mani. I thought it was silly to spend $20 on someone only painting her nails. Plus I wanted the full mani, and what was she supposed to do for a half hour?

But, even spending $20/month on a kiddie mani isn't the worst thing a parent can do.  Honestly, sending our kids to private school and pretty much never saying "No" to any activity they want to try does much worse to skew our kids' perceptions/expectations in life than a once a month splurge.

[raeoflyte]

Jan 5, 2015 13:53:08 GMT -5 giramomma said:

Jan 5, 2015 13:40:41 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

As a birthday party I don't see a problem with it.  We spent just over $300 for a water park party for ds.  Expensive for one day, but not an everyday occurrence.  

The spa day experience and the services received are usually touted as monthly necessities which is where you can skew kids perceptions and expectations.  

I think it depends. When I took DD1 for a mani, we got the full "adult" mani. I thought it was silly to spend $20 on someone only painting her nails. Plus I wanted the full mani, and what was she supposed to do for a half hour?

But, even spending $20/month on a kiddie mani isn't the worst thing a parent can do.  Honestly, sending our kids to private school and pretty much never saying "No" to any activity they want to try does much worse to skew our kids' perceptions/expectations in life than a once a month splurge.

I never said it was the worst thing a parent could do, just that it seems to me more likely to set an expensive precedent for something that I have a hard time valuing over other experiences.  Maybe part of the reason I rarely get those things done is that it rarely stops at a manicure.  The upselling done there is subtle but effective--especially when you're already in the "I deserve it" mindset.  I'm sure I'm weak-willed, but I mostly avoid the "I wants" by avoiding the advertising that tells me that I should want something.  

[gooddecisions]

I went to a spa day once because it's what my friend wanted to do for her birthday. I hated the whole experience. I would have much rather been, dressed up with make-up at happy hour sipping on something fancy and gossiping without being interrupted with treatments. Instead, I had no make-up, hair up, looked like crap, kept being interrupted and left not feeling like I was up-to-date with everything going on in my friends' lives. My friend raved about it and tried to get us to sign-up for monthly massage and facial treatments. So, I know this is my issue since some people actually like this sort of thing.

That said, if that's what you like to do, why should I judge. I'm not superior or inferior because I choose to spend my time and money elsewhere. If my daughters beg me for an experience, then maybe I'll set my biases aside and consider it. But I definitely won't be offering to sign them up for manicures, pedicures, facials or massages.

[milee]

www.msn.com/en-us/news/crime/son-arrested-on-murder-charge-in-hedge-fund-founder-shooting/ar-BBhxnCq

Poor kid.  His cheap dad stopped paying for his spa days!  It's a tragedy when parents deny kids what they deserve.