Your kids choosing the same career as you

[Phoenix84]

How would you feel about your kids choosing the same job/career/employer as you when they grow up?

Growing up, my mom always discouraged me and my sister from pursing a career in insurance, but not so much with my dad.

It just seems like a lot of people don't like their jobs, and dread the thought of their kids "ending up like them." There seems to be the expectation among parents that that "the kids will do better."

[msventoux]

No kids and won't have any, but I don't think there's anything terribly wrong with my profession.  There's just not often a great work/life balance to be easily had.  If they wanted to get into the field I would suggest they go into private industry.  Though that's not without it's challenges either.

[giramomma]

It's highly unlikely my kids will follow in my footsteps. I fell into my current job, without really seeking it out. It is an area that I have very little formal training in. I get by by making gut decisions and asking good questions/critically thinking. All my training has been on the job.

My oldest kid doesn't like sticking with things when they become hard. He's not interested in really becoming good at something. He'd rather try a little bit of this, and a little bit of that. A dabbler of sorts. He won't have the same track in music that I did, if nothing else, simply because of his personality.

I don't really dread the thought that my kids may end up like me. Unless I act out on my mid-life crisis in a way that negatively affects my family. 

I did ended up having a better quality of life than my parents. But, in part, that's because they grew up poor. I grew up lower middle class in my younger years, solid middle class in my teens.

I also think that it will be hard for DH to do better than his parents, and even harder for our kids to do better than us. DH was raised solid middle class/upper class. My kids already go to private school, are fairly well traveled (My 10 yo has been to I think 15 states now, should be 20 by the end of this summer.), they are in activities, they have a stable home life, and college should mostly be paid for.

[whoisjohngalt]

Well.....I would prefer that my youngest became an accountant instead of a princess....but that's just me.

Oh and I did tell my oldest that if he wants to be an astronomer, he better learn to live without a lot of things bc they don't make a lot of money.  The practical kid that he is, he decided to become SAHD to his 17 children and send his wife to work.  We don't know what her profession is.

[NastyWoman]

Dec 17, 2014 0:14:31 GMT -5 whoisjohngalt said:

Well.....I would prefer that my youngest became an accountant instead of a princess....but that's just me.

Oh and I did tell my oldest that if he wants to be an astronomer, he better learn to live without a lot of things bc they don't make a lot of money.  The practical kid that he is, he decided to become SAHD to his 17 children and send his wife to work.  We don't know what her profession is.

Well, with 17 kids she may be out on mat leave so much she might not even know herself, but with that many kids it better pay well 

[giramomma]

Dec 17, 2014 0:14:31 GMT -5 whoisjohngalt said:

Oh and I did tell my oldest that if he wants to be an astronomer, he better learn to live without a lot of things bc they don't make a lot of money.  The practical kid that he is, he decided to become SAHD to his 17 children and send his wife to work.  We don't know what her profession is.

I don't know how old your oldest is. My DD1 is 7 and she wanted 12 kids, to be driven around in two minivans. She also wants a SAHD situation while she goes to work.

She doesn't know what she wants to do when she grows up. It could be a good match.

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

If you have a family-run business, and your kids want to get into being a part of the business, more power to them.

Same if you're a Dr or Lawyer with a practice. If your kid decides to become a Dr or Lawyer and enter your practice , more power to them (and you).

Most don't know what career path they want to take until they're nearly finished HS - and sometimes not until finishing the first year of college or university.

A few know earlier if they have a special talent or ability, but I wouldn't put pressure on a kid that's young to know what they want to be when they grow up - they change their mind more often than their underwear.

[raeoflyte]

Dec 16, 2014 23:11:54 GMT -5 Phoenix84 said:

How would you feel about your kids choosing the same job/career/employer as you when they grow up?

Hell to the ever freaking NO!  If work keeps up the way it is now though I doubt they'd have any interest in following in my footsteps.  I try to keep a positive attitude about why working is important (and my love of money makes that part easy), but its no secret that I'm not happy with a lot of aspects of my job--mainly work life balance.  Right now ds wants to work with animals like dh. I don't love that idea either, but it certainly isn't an issue at 5.  

[yogiii]

I'm not happy as an engineer but I'm good at it so the lazy part of me just stays with it.  I'll push my kids into the ideal job of pharmacy . 

Actually, I'm thinking my son will go into the trades.  He's 4 and he asked for a drill for x-mas, he already uses my DH's down in the basement "workshop" but he wanted his own.  He's a great people person, so he has the right personality for that kind of work too.  I just want my kids to be productive and hopefully happy.  Making a living is the goal!

[Wisconsin Beth]

My Dad worked in a drop forge for 25+ years.  He most emphatically did NOT want us to follow him.  Mom was a typist, then a SAHM and then back to being a typist.  Eventually she did some kind of data entry in the Assessor's Office.  2 of us followed her into City employment but different departments.  That was kinda encouraged by Mom and Dad due to the stability of City jobs. 

AT one point, 3 of us (there's 5 total) were supervising/managing.  My Dad couldn't get over having 3 kids being boss types.  He'd often referred to his supervisors as 'stupidvisors" but he's proud of all of us.   

[thyme4change]

We only have two professions in my family - both YM approved.

Engineering and finance.  

If my kids do either of those, they will fit right in.  If not, it would be exciting.  A little variety could spice things up.  I think my husband would like a little company standing outside of the circle.  

Actually, I laugh about how much people do sort of follow their parents.  I don't know if it is a natural talent or a subtle learning process over childhood or people just thinking their parents' life is normal, so they follow.  Even my husband said that it "felt right" being a government employee.  His Dad was a federal employee too, although their jobs are very different.  Medical professionals seem to beget other medical professionals.  Entertainers beget entertainers.  Engineers beget engineers.   

[yogiii]

Dec 17, 2014 8:03:35 GMT -5 thyme4change said:

We only have two professions in my family - both YM approved.

Engineering and finance.  

If my kids do either of those, they will fit right in.  If not, it would be exciting.  A little variety could spice things up.  I think my husband would like a little company standing outside of the circle.  

Actually, I laugh about how much people do sort of follow their parents.  I don't know if it is a natural talent or a subtle learning process over childhood or people just thinking their parents' life is normal, so they follow.  Even my husband said that it "felt right" being a government employee.  His Dad was a federal employee too, although their jobs are very different.  Medical professionals seem to beget other medical professionals.  Entertainers beget entertainers.  Engineers beget engineers.   

Maybe that's why I hate my job, I was the trailblazer.  Everyone expected I would be a hairstylist (true story).

[thyme4change]

My 6th grade teacher told my mother that if I worked really hard I could be a hairstylist, but was too dumb to do much of anything else.  What a bitch.  Oh well, I'm sure she is dead now.  

[swamp]

My parents emphatically did not want us to follow their careers. Mom was a hairstylist, dad was a firefighter. They didn't want us to do manual labor.

I'd be fine with the kids being pharmacists likeDH. I'm not sure about being a lawyer. I don't think the ROI on the clist of law school isthere anymore

[Cookies Galore]

My Dad was the VP of Finance for a major insurance company in this area. He retired at 56 and leads an awesome life. I probably made a mistake somewhere in choosing my profession. Lol, kidding. I love what I do.

His children are (oldest to youngest): a classroom aid (currently), a medical editor/analyst, unemployed, video editor for a big athletic apparel company, and a marketing coordinator at an human services non-profit/freelance copywriter for a pharm company. I wonder how dad feels about none of his children going into finance, but 3/5 are good with money and have good jobs, so he's happy with us.

My mom was a waitress, retail manager, hospital ladies auxiliary admin, and clerk in a pharmacy. I should hope she didn't want any of us to follow in her footsteps!

[thyme4change]

Dec 17, 2014 8:23:26 GMT -5 swamp said:

My parents emphatically did not want us to follow their careers. Mom was a hairstylist, dad was a firefighter. They didn't want us to do manual labor.

I'd be fine with the kids being pharmacists likeDH. I'm not sure about being a lawyer. I don't think the ROI on the clist of law school is there anymore

It is amazing how fast that dropped.  When my hub started law school, we didn't expect to be filthy rich, but most lawyers coming out of decent schools were making a good living - middle class or better, unless they were called to go into a more charitable practice.  A decade later - no one is getting jobs out of school, and the average salary was about half of what it was.  

[Deleted]

I would be a little bummed if either of my kids ended up doing what I do. 

[swamp]

Dec 17, 2014 8:30:03 GMT -5 thyme4change said:

Dec 17, 2014 8:23:26 GMT -5 swamp said:

My parents emphatically did not want us to follow their careers. Mom was a hairstylist, dad was a firefighter. They didn't want us to do manual labor.

I'd be fine with the kids being pharmacists likeDH. I'm not sure about being a lawyer. I don't think the ROI on the clist of law school is there anymore

It is amazing how fast that dropped.  When my hub started law school, we didn't expect to be filthy rich, but most lawyers coming out of decent schools were making a good living - middle class or better, unless they were called to go into a more charitable practice.  A decade later - no one is getting jobs out of school, and the average salary was about half of what it was.  

It now costs $60,000 a year to go to Albany Law School, where I went, and that's not even a top tier law school. $60,000 is just the tuition, no living expenses, so unless you are wealthy, you are coming out of law school with at least $200,000 of student loans.

And the job market sucks.

[Deleted]

Dad was a metallurgical engineer in the steel business. Good thing none of us followed him! My brother, an accountant, did start out in the same company but eventually moved to another industry. One brother just retired from a job as a mechanical engineer with a very good pension but hated his job the last 5 years.  Another is a CPA and tax partner at a medium-sized firm and I became an actuary.

I had no preconceptions for DS, my only child, other than hoping he'd get a college degree and that he'd find work he liked that paid him enough to live the way he wanted. After getting a Math degree at a good school but with a crappy GPA because it took him awhile to get his act together, he got a job in Customer Service at a local insurance company because a lot of his friends from church were there.  It was part-time; I suspect that's where they put candidates who might or might not work out.  He was the first person someone would reach when reporting a claim by phone.  I'm so thankful he landed there.  They treat their employees and their customers and claimants very well.  Within 6 months he was FT with benefits.  He's been there 6 years now and is on his 3rd position in Claims, working in Agribusiness.  He's been very proactive about applying for internal positions and the company really supports that.  And they have a pension!!

So he sort of ended up in the same business by accident, but it probably helped that he'd heard about the insurance business all his life.  Now we trade claim horror stories when we get together.

[whoisjohngalt]

Dec 17, 2014 1:34:23 GMT -5 giramomma said:

Dec 17, 2014 0:14:31 GMT -5 whoisjohngalt said:

Oh and I did tell my oldest that if he wants to be an astronomer, he better learn to live without a lot of things bc they don't make a lot of money.  The practical kid that he is, he decided to become SAHD to his 17 children and send his wife to work.  We don't know what her profession is.

I don't know how old your oldest is. My DD1 is 7 and she wanted 12 kids, to be driven around in two minivans. She also wants a SAHD situation while she goes to work.

She doesn't know what she wants to do when she grows up. It could be a good match.

Ooohhh, I would LOVE to have you as his MIL.  He is 6.5, btw.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I have a feeling my profession is not going to exist by the time the kids are old enough to pick careers. Or if academic research still exists it will be in a vastly different form than it is now.

If it's the same then HELL NO I don't want them doing it! Academia is an awful career choice and I kick myself all the time for having picked it.

I wouldn't mind them going into science. Secretly I hope that Gwen will become a biomechanical engineer and be the one to terra-form Mars. Did I mention I have high ambitions for my kid?

Abby's too little for me to try to pin career expectations on her yet.

[whoisjohngalt]

Just like thyme4change - we have YM's approved careers- accounting and engineering and IT.

In all seriousness, I always liked what I did for a living, so yes, *I* would love it if my kids did the same.  There are so many options there, why not.

[alabamagal]

None of our kids are doing what DH or I do and we are fine with it.

DH and I are total opposites.  He is the more creative type majored in Liberal Studies in college and has mostly owned creative type businesses.  I am an engineer. When I was pregnant with our first, he was excited and said "Our kids will have my creative abilities and your math abilities"  I told him that they could have my creative abilities and his math abilities and fail out of school!

Oldest majored in marine biology and is about to get promoted to a retail manager.  She is most like DH.  Second child is TOTALLY me.  He loves math and trying to figure out things.  I would have loved for him to go into engineering, but he chose to pursue actuarial science.  He starts his first real job as an actuary in January.  Third child is studying finance.  He likes the math part of finance, but based on barely passing physics last semester, he is not quite like me.

[The Captain]

My DD could do far worse than go into the same profession as her mother.

If I could change one thing it would be a better balance/quality of life.  HOWEVER - I knew that would be an issue when I choose my profession and consider the financial security it provides my family worth it.

I'm not sure I would want her to go into her father's profession, it's still a sausage fest and I'm not sure it will change any time in this century. 

[swamp]

Dec 17, 2014 9:17:31 GMT -5 The Captain said:

My DD could do far worse than go into the same profession as her mother.

If I could change one thing it would be a better balance/quality of life.  HOWEVER - I knew that would be an issue when I choose my profession and consider the financial security it provides my family worth it.

I'm not sure I would want her to go into her father's profession, it's still a sausage fest and I'm not sure it will change any time in this century. 

Sausage fest isn't always a bad thing...........

[Sam_2.0]

DH and I each followed our respective dads into their line of work (utilities for me, broker for DH). I would be fine with our kids taking after one of us, or going out into something different. Really makes no difference to me.

[Pants]

Dec 17, 2014 8:54:09 GMT -5 @athena53 said:

Dad was a metallurgical engineer in the steel business. Good thing none of us followed him! My brother, an accountant, did start out in the same company but eventually moved to another industry. One brother just retired from a job as a mechanical engineer with a very good pension but hated his job the last 5 years.  Another is a CPA and tax partner at a medium-sized firm and I became an actuary.

I had no preconceptions for DS, my only child, other than hoping he'd get a college degree and that he'd find work he liked that paid him enough to live the way he wanted. After getting a Math degree at a good school but with a crappy GPA because it took him awhile to get his act together, he got a job in Customer Service at a local insurance company because a lot of his friends from church were there.  It was part-time; I suspect that's where they put candidates who might or might not work out.  He was the first person someone would reach when reporting a claim by phone.  I'm so thankful he landed there.  They treat their employees and their customers and claimants very well.  Within 6 months he was FT with benefits.  He's been there 6 years now and is on his 3rd position in Claims, working in Agribusiness.  He's been very proactive about applying for internal positions and the company really supports that.  And they have a pension!!

So he sort of ended up in the same business by accident, but it probably helped that he'd heard about the insurance business all his life.  Now we trade claim horror stories when we get together.

At 6 years he's probably the most tenured person in claims.

[Miss Tequila]

Dec 17, 2014 9:19:44 GMT -5 swamp said:

Dec 17, 2014 9:17:31 GMT -5 The Captain said:

My DD could do far worse than go into the same profession as her mother.

If I could change one thing it would be a better balance/quality of life.  HOWEVER - I knew that would be an issue when I choose my profession and consider the financial security it provides my family worth it.

I'm not sure I would want her to go into her father's profession, it's still a sausage fest and I'm not sure it will change any time in this century. 

Sausage fest isn't always a bad thing...........

Who doesn't love the sausage?

[swasat]

YM approved careers here too . Both IT folks.

I love what I do. So does DH, and we both make great money. So it'd be fine if the kids followed in our footsteps.

My Dad was the Managing Director of a hospital administration. Mom was a CPA, owned her firm. Obviously I am neither DH's dad his own manufacturing business and his Mom is a neurologist in a Children's hospital. He didn't follow them either.

I'd be happy if my kids chose YM approved careers AND if they loved it AND made great money to go with it.  Nope, no high expectations there

[cktc]

Should my future offspring lack my social anxiety, they would probably thrive in my profession. Should they be anxious and socially clueless, I'll encourage them to stick with numbers as I probably should have.