I'm not handling teaching kid to drive very well...

[Deleted]

Any advice? 

[Deleted]

Maybe let someone else do it?

My mom was so scared of my driving she scared me.

Dad was so much more cool about it.

[milee]

No advice, just sympathy.

We'll be there soon and I'm dreading it a little.  Um, remember when I mentioned that I'm pretty sure that for my kids, homework will forever be associated with the smell of gin? If it weren't kind of illegal, I would be using the same coping mechanism for driving instruction...

What is it exactly that's driving you nuts about the driving instruction?

[msventoux]

Dec 7, 2014 21:42:11 GMT -5 @xmascookie said:

Maybe let someone else do it?

My mom was so scared of my driving she scared me.

Dad was so much more cool about it.

My dad took me out once and never rode with me again.  My mom taught me.  She was pretty good about not verbally berating or distracting me, but I could tell when I could hear her whole body tense up and she was leaving fingernail marks in the arm rests that I should probably slow down a bit. 

[Cookies Galore]

Driving school. Mom wouldn't teach me and dad didn't have time. We (me, mom, and dad) paid for three driving lessons before I took the test.

[Deleted]

I'm maybe a wee bit of a control freak..   While I don't yell, and speak calmly, I get increasingly nervous, almost panic level nervous till we stop, and it's not good for him, he feels it. 

Husband, uh, well has some bad habits (why do you accelerate into a turn?, etc) and does things I wouldn't do, like take son on loose gravel covered not wide, windy, back roads today when I think he needed to perfect straight, regular surface roads before 'seeing what he can do'... 

Maybe i be I can take a pill..

[Deleted]

Dec 7, 2014 21:46:15 GMT -5 Cookies Galore said:

Driving school. Mom wouldn't teach me and dad didn't have time. We (me, mom, and dad) paid for three driving lessons before I took the test.

I'm going to call them tomorrow. The on road to certify for insurance purposes is only 6 hours though, out of 65, so I was assuming they were closer to the end, but I'm hoping to see if they can actually do the beginning...

[Deleted]

I dunno.  Maybe let husband handle it.  I think the windy back roads away from traffic are a great place to learn.  That's how I learned.  My Grandma taught me.  She was kind of a crazy lead foot lady even in her 70's. 

[giramomma]

My mom would not let me drive her car, because she was concerned with losing a car, should I have gotten into an accident. My mom also preferred to drive me around everywhere. So, clearly, we did not go driving together.

My dad didn't care what I did to his car. But, it was older, and the vinyl seats were held together with silver duct tape in spots. He had to get things fixed so that I could pass my drivers test.

Edited because I see why.

FWIW, I wish my parents would have encouraged me to drive in the winter before I left for college. It would have been useful for me to do things like make donuts in the snow and understand how to drive when I was sliding. I'm 40, been driving in the snow regularly for 17ish years, and I'm still not confident when my car slides. Actually, I swear and panic. Which is not exactly the message I want to send to my kids about driving in the snow,

[Deleted]

But we passed at least 2  cars on the back road, and I was nervous he would try to adjust and on the stones not be able to correct (I was in back seat because we were all going somewhere... Worse than front seat, I almost threw up) ... Maybe I just need to get out of the car all together though. And drink at home till they get back.

[Deleted]

I don't care about the car, it's insured. I care about people getting hurt. 

He doesn't seem very confident, but then how could he when I'm a ball of nerves.

[Deleted]

Does it get better? Those who have done it? We aren't that many hours in.... 

[The Fonz]

Pay for lessons. Very much worth it, and I got a discount on my insurance policy.

[flutterby]

No real advice, just sympathy. I've been through it twice, and both times were horrible. I never realized how much I wanted to live until I was a passenger in a car going 70 down the interstate with a 15-year old in the driver's seat!  Driver's Ed. and driving with the instructor are great, but if it's like where I live, kids still need 60 hours of drive time with parents before getting a license, so there's no escaping it. Try to fake calm so you don't make them nervous, do your best not to scream and cringe, and invest in a good supply of alcohol for when you get back home safely. Good luck!

[milee]

Dec 7, 2014 21:51:16 GMT -5 oped said:

Husband, uh, well has some bad habits (why do you accelerate into a turn?, etc)

In Mr Oped's defense, skillful drivers do accelerate in (coming out of) turns. That gives the driver more control of the car.  Not a bad habit at all.

[msventoux]

Dec 7, 2014 22:09:12 GMT -5 milee said:

Dec 7, 2014 21:51:16 GMT -5 oped said:

Husband, uh, well has some bad habits (why do you accelerate into a turn?, etc)

In Mr Oped's defense, skillful drivers do accelerate into turns. That gives the driver more control of the car.  Not a bad habit at all.

My dad didn't buy that excuse at all. 

[milee]

Dec 7, 2014 22:13:58 GMT -5 msventoux said:

Dec 7, 2014 22:09:12 GMT -5 milee said:

In Mr Oped's defense, skillful drivers do accelerate into turns. That gives the driver more control of the car.  Not a bad habit at all.

My dad didn't buy that excuse at all. 

Shhh. It's not about if it's true, it's about comforting Oped.

[Deleted]

I failed my first test for taking corners to fast.

[Deleted]

Driver's ed, then practice in a big empty parking lot like the one at the high school on a weekend. Then short jaunts to the corner store, then to the mall, then a paved back road with very little traffic...having a stress ball to squeeze on helps camouflage your nerves a little bit. But they see the phantom break you keep trying to press and their hearing is still good enough to hear your muffled screams lol

[taz157]

I failed my first driver's test for driving over a curb after doing the 3-point turn.  

[Tennesseer]

My 16th birthday present was driving school classes.  No fuss from the folks.

[Deleted]

Accelerating into a curve doesn't give you more control! You drive through curves, you don't break thru curves...    

Taz and sweetdream, my mom failed her first time hitting a stop sign  ... This was on the DoT property, not road.

[msventoux]

Dec 7, 2014 22:22:36 GMT -5 taz157 said:

I failed my first driver's test for driving over a curb after doing the 3-point turn.  

I failed mine for running a stop sign.    In my defense it was on a vacant back road I'd never been on before and there was a branch covering the sign with a utility truck in front of it with a guy up in a cherry picker cutting down the branch.  I did manage to flawlessly parallel park though.  Don't think I've parallel parked since I passed the test. 

[taz157]

Unfortunately, I have no defense.  I just mis-judged where the curb was.

Unfortunately, I'm still not the greatest with curbs 20 years later. 

[Deleted]

Dec 7, 2014 22:30:57 GMT -5 oped said:

Accelerating into a curve doesn't give you more control! You drive through curves, you don't break thru curves...    

I had to look it up because my step dad always told me to accelerate through curves.  Seems like its' true.

ezinearticles.com/?Car-Driving-Tips---Accelerate-Through-Curves-For-Better-Traction&id=4001711

[Deleted]

Ok, maybe I'm not explaining correctly. I always slow down before the curve and then drive through it... In control of the car. Husband keeps his foot on the gas coming up to the curve and then either has to break (or maybe in your link coast) thru the curve. 

Basiclly the the man seems to be always accelerating until he's braking ( yes, I guess he does reach a cruise speed, today it was 68 on the back road)... But mainly he is always seeming to at least go full steam ahead, if not faster, into situations in which I am anticipating the need to slow down and therefore already off the gas. 

[Apple]

I started my son in an empty parking lot (like someone else suggested).  Pull up to the curb, pull away, pretend there are stop signs, do turn signals, keep the car in a low gear at first.

Keep the first several drives short, with the kid well rested. 

Back roads with very few people are great, but yes, they can be scary too when windy and on gravel.  So, just go really slow (painfully slow), and if someone comes up behind them, pull over and let them pass.

Make sure you get a lot of weather conditions in there-- night driving, rain, snow and ice if possible.  First day of ice we had this year I made DS do a bunch of driving in it, and, on a clear street (wide with no parked cars, no other drivers) I had him slam the brakes to see how the car would react, and how he would need to respond (slow speed). 

Definitely driving school.  The school here quit offering driver's ed the year I was old enough to take it, so I had to go with the local driving school guy.  That really help build my son's confidence and comfort.

Work your way up to the longer drives and heavy traffic. 

Yes, it does get better, but it takes a while.  My son just got his license about a month ago (he turned 17 in October), and he's already had to drive in snow and ice on his own, as well as driving at midnight (after a cast party).  It's even scarier though when there is no one in the car with them and you know they're out there driving, at least for a while

[busymom]

We put DD through a driving school. I feel confident about most things, but she was such a bundle of nerves when she was first learning to drive, that she made me nervous, too. Now that she's comfortable behind the wheel, I feel better riding with her.  DH was the one who volunteered to take her out on the highway as a beginner, & I let him...

I'm a big fan of finding an empty school parking lot, or large church parking lot when they're just beginning to learn things, like how to turn a corner. 

Oh yes, & prayer. I pray a lot when she's out there, even though she's come a long way from when she first started.

[saveinla]

Dec 7, 2014 21:59:08 GMT -5 oped said:

Does it get better? Those who have done it? We aren't that many hours in.... 

It does get better. I would send him to driving school with a calm instructor and then help him practice. My son learnt with a woman in the AAA driving school and she taught him really well.

I was very nervous when my son started driving with me, but kept calm and gave him some tips, which helped him. He had a lead foot initially, but slowly got better within 2 months.

[Deleted]

Dec 7, 2014 21:51:16 GMT -5 oped said:

I'm maybe a wee bit of a control freak..   While I don't yell, and speak calmly, I get increasingly nervous, almost panic level nervous till we stop, and it's not good for him, he feels it. 

Husband, uh, well has some bad habits (why do you accelerate into a turn?, etc) and does things I wouldn't do, like take son on loose gravel covered not wide, windy, back roads today when I think he needed to perfect straight, regular surface roads before 'seeing what he can do'... 

Maybe i be I can take a pill..

you accelerate into a turn to use the centrifugal force to help the car turn - that's not a bad habit.

as far as teaching him, get someone else to do it.  one of my friends taught DD to drive because it was going to send me over the edge and we were going to wind up dead (either due to a car accident or me killing her).

does your state require driving school?  here in MD, everyone MUST attend driving school - 30 hours classroom and 6 hours behind the wheel - no exceptions.