Where I went wrong

[Phoenix84]

I thought I'd provide some info on my situation. Specifically where I think I should improve, a recent epiphany, and a general update.

First, it may have been obvious to outside observers, but I finally figured out why my boss is doing the things she's doing. She really has intended to get rid of me all along. It's the only thing that explains her actions. By removing me from all of my job duties and essentially exiling me to the warehouse, she in effect DID fire me in everything but name.  Her proceeding whole body count, background investigation, and investigation into the program I run was all to find the means to fire me.  It also explains a couple of comments I've heard her make on occasion.  I always suspected it, but today all the pieces finally clicked into place.  I can't believe I was so dense, but I guess my focus on the job hunt/new job and the high emotions at times clouded the truth.

Fortunately, the cat's out of the bag now.  The Navy HR contacted my agency's HR to request a release date, and my agency's HR contacted my management, so everyone knows now.  That pretty much disarms my current management from doing anything, as there's no point because I'll be leaving in a few weeks.  I've spent this week in communication with HR trying to work out a release date I prefer, but have nothing solid yet.

I've given careful thought the part I played in my situation.  While I do firmly believe that not all the bad things that have befallen me are my fault, I also recognize that I played a part and need to make changes in order to help insure that this doesn't keep happening again.  Going around blaming everyone else will get me no where.  I need to take responsibility for where I went wrong.  It's not easy, but it's something that I think will help in the long run.

So here's a quick rundown of where I went wrong and will work to improve:

1. I was not proactive with a new boss and receptive with her wishes and the changes she wanted to see.  I kept doing things the way I always did them.  In the future, I'll treat any management change as like I'm starting a new job and be far more receptive from the word go about what changes they want to see and implement those changes as soon as possible.

2. I got complacent and did not keep an eye towards "covering my ass."  When situations arise, I need to exercise more foresight on how the situation can blow up or damage my image at work.  And I need to realize that no matter how long you've been at a particular job, you never outstay the need to CYA.

3. Kind of related above, but I realize I need to be more conservative when situations DO arise.  Even if I think there's nothing to be alarmed about, I need to verify that with cold, hard, verifiable facts, in case there's an inquiry later.

4. I need to keep a better attention to detail.  In my industry, the devil really is in the details.  As an extension to this, I need to keep better records of everything I do.

[achelois]

I am sorry you had to go through everything that you went through. I hope things will go well at your new job. 

Always good to CYA and document. An axiom in nursing is that if it isn't documented, it wasn't done. 

As far as being so "dense", it is difficult for someone who is fairly laidback and non-political to see and believe and understand that there are malicious and manipulative people out there. Their way of thinking is just very foreign. I don't understand them, either. 

Do keep records of what you do. You know what that is, but it may be difficult to explain or show others without having it written somewhere. 

Anyway, sending good wishes your way. 

[Opti]

 on #1 and #4.

You may also want to start reading books on office

politics. I do from time to time. I am not a natural like

my one sib, but she scored a point years ago when she

pointed out I could be better at office politics if I chose to be.

 True.

Congrats on starting to mine what happened, to help you

do better in the future.

[Deleted]

How did she respond to the news you are going? 

[Wisconsin Beth]

Sept 26, 2014 6:45:46 GMT -5 oped said:

How did she respond to the news you are going? 

  Nosy people (i.e. me) need to know these things! 

[Phoenix84]

Sept 26, 2014 4:00:30 GMT -5 achelois said:

I am sorry you had to go through everything that you went through. I hope things will go well at your new job. 

Always good to CYA and document. An axiom in nursing is that if it isn't documented, it wasn't done. 

As far as being so "dense", it is difficult for someone who is fairly laidback and non-political to see and believe and understand that there are malicious and manipulative people out there. Their way of thinking is just very foreign. I don't understand them, either. 

Do keep records of what you do. You know what that is, but it may be difficult to explain or show others without having it written somewhere. 

Anyway, sending good wishes your way. 

Yeah, it was a totally different way of thinking than I am used to. I'll admit I've never really engaged in office politics and generally keep a positive opinion of others. Maybe some reading on office politics is in order.

[Phoenix84]

Sept 26, 2014 6:45:46 GMT -5 oped said:

How did she respond to the news you are going? 

Nothing dramatic. Just said "congratulations."

My management authorized release date for October 4th, but that was way too soon to get a cross country move together. Obviously that's what they want so they can stop paying me ASAP. I requested a release date of the 18th, but haven't gotten any confirmation back on that. If I don't hear something back soon, I may have to push it back further.

So far, my boss has been working on getting me the out processing forms and communicating with our agency's HR to communicate with the Navy HR to get a release date worked out. I think she's glad I'm leaving. Since that was her goal all along, me leaving voluntarily is the path of least resistance for her.

So, overall, she's been cooperative.

[zibazinski]

What a bitch. I'm so sorry.

[justme]

Wow! You might have a shorter move time then me! Good luck!

[Wisconsin Beth]

Is there anyone who will be able to give you updates on how badly she screws things up, after you're gone? 

[Phoenix84]

Sept 26, 2014 10:15:31 GMT -5 Wisconsin Beth said:

Is there anyone who will be able to give you updates on how badly she screws things up, after you're gone? 

Maybe, but I'd think it'd be kind of tacky to ask about those things after I leave.

It will be interesting, because from my discussion with the radiation safety committee chairmen this week, the committee isn't totally happy with my boss right now either.

The license is also due for renewal in February.  That will be a time consuming project and I don't think anyone has the time to do it, so it will be interesting.

[Deleted]

I'd just go ASAP... Pay someone to pack if necessary and high tail it out of there...

[zibazinski]

What a shame, huh? This is what happens when you promote incompetent people. Her bosses could have told her to shut up and collect her check but instead were chicken shit and looked the other way. Now there's no one to clean up her/their mess. 

[cktc]

Don't you have any PTO you can cash in when you leave? I'd take the early release date so you can spend more time getting your affairs in order for the move. I thought a couple weeks off before starting a new job was standard since it is bad form taking vacation time within the first 6 months.

[andi9899]

Good luck to you! I was in the same position a while back so I know how hard it is. Only in my case I couldn't learn to keep my mouth shut long enough to find another job first and got fired. I like my new job much better and hope you do too. You gotta be looking forward to not dreading going to work every morning!

[Peace Of Mind]

Phoenix, Sroo said everything I wanted to say already (and much better than I would have) so I want to wish you the very best luck with your new career path. 


And please allow me to do this for you so you don't have any bad karma.  May the person that replaces you make her life a living hell.     

[Deleted]

By removing me from all of my job duties and essentially exiling me to the warehouse, she in effect DID fire me in everything but name.

That is constructive dismissal and can be challenged in the same ways that being unfairly fired can. At least here.

[Deleted]

Sept 26, 2014 10:35:14 GMT -5 Phoenix84 said:

Sept 26, 2014 10:15:31 GMT -5 Wisconsin Beth said:

Is there anyone who will be able to give you updates on how badly she screws things up, after you're gone? 

Maybe, but I'd think it'd be kind of tacky to ask about those things after I leave.

And?

[Phoenix84]

Sept 26, 2014 10:44:20 GMT -5 cktc said:

Don't you have any PTO you can cash in when you leave? I'd take the early release date so you can spend more time getting your affairs in order for the move. I thought a couple weeks off before starting a new job was standard since it is bad form taking vacation time within the first 6 months.

Well, since it's government to government employment, my leave balance carries over.

I could take leave, but I'm planning on going on a cruise in December around the holidays and will want to take a couple weeks off. Plus I'm going visit my parents and sister over Thanksgiving to see my niece just after she's born.

My remaining leave is allocated already.

I don't think it will be a big deal if I take leave around the holidays. Most feds do. The only forseeable issue is if I start the NRC inspector training and I can't miss the training. If that's the case, I'll just not go.

I could try and miss a pay period in between jobs, but that affects your length of service calculations for the purposes of your pension and the like.

[Phoenix84]

Sept 26, 2014 11:15:26 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Good luck to you! I was in the same position a while back so I know how hard it is. Only in my case I couldn't learn to keep my mouth shut long enough to find another job first and got fired. I like my new job much better and hope you do too. You gotta be looking forward to not dreading going to work every morning!

I am looking forward to the new opportunity, but I won't lie that I'm a bit worried if I can handle it and do well.

No specific reason why, just that the last two jobs had "issues" develop. It does shake my confidence.  I am not paralyzed by self doubt, but I'll feel better after a year or two at the new job.

[zibazinski]

I   POM!

[cktc]

Sept 26, 2014 12:47:08 GMT -5 Phoenix84 said:

Sept 26, 2014 10:44:20 GMT -5 cktc said:

Don't you have any PTO you can cash in when you leave? I'd take the early release date so you can spend more time getting your affairs in order for the move. I thought a couple weeks off before starting a new job was standard since it is bad form taking vacation time within the first 6 months.

Well, since it's government to government employment, my leave balance carries over.

I could take leave, but I'm planning on going on a cruise in December around the holidays and will want to take a couple weeks off. Plus I'm going visit my parents and sister over Thanksgiving to see my niece just after she's born.

My remaining leave is allocated already.

I don't think it will be a big deal if I take leave around the holidays. Most feds do. The only forseeable issue is if I start the NRC inspector training and I can't miss the training. If that's the case, I'll just not go.

I could try and miss a pay period in between jobs, but that affects your length of service calculations for the purposes of your pension and the like.

Oh that makes sense. Maybe you can work half a pay period at each, and still get an extra week off that way.

[Phoenix84]

Yes, those are probably good questions to be up front about. I think part of the problem both here and at the Air Force was simple personality/work style/expectation differences. Communication on those subjects probably would have helped everyone involved.

[Cookies Galore]

Sept 26, 2014 10:35:14 GMT -5 Phoenix84 said:

Sept 26, 2014 10:15:31 GMT -5 Wisconsin Beth said:

Is there anyone who will be able to give you updates on how badly she screws things up, after you're gone? 

Maybe, but I'd think it'd be kind of tacky to ask about those things after I leave.

It will be interesting, because from my discussion with the radiation safety committee chairmen this week, the committee isn't totally happy with my boss right now either.

The license is also due for renewal in February.  That will be a time consuming project and I don't think anyone has the time to do it, so it will be interesting.

Good, I hope she fails.

[Deleted]

That's fantastic news Phoenix! I have to admit I was worried that your old boss might try to sabotage your new position, but obviously that's not the case. 

Kudos to you on all your introspection and all those positive resolutions. I know going through somethings like that is never easy, but I think you've done an incredible job analyzing what happened and how you can do better in the future. 

Personally, I wouldn't fight about your leaving date. Like somebody else said, you have PTO. Even if that's not exactly the way you planned to spend it, you should have at least SOME leeway in your plans. You could always take a day or two less than you'd hoped for each trip, or compensate with savings if you'd rather. Your boss is talking about an 4 Oct departure date, but you prefer 18 Oct. Maybe you can compromise and agree on 11 Oct? I'd probably ask nicely for that. But again, I wouldn't push it. 

Do you have any concrete plans for the move / a place to stay? We mentioned this in the previous thread, but I think you need to be within easy access to the airport, since you'll be traveling more. 

I wish you the very best of luck. I hope that your next job is the perfect fit for you!

And you should be very, very proud of yourself. I know you were in two rather sticky employment situations, but you managed to learn from them, and to negotiate new, better jobs. Keep on the learning curve, and you'll do just fine! 

[Phoenix84]

Sept 26, 2014 15:32:58 GMT -5 @debthaven2 said:

That's fantastic news Phoenix! I have to admit I was worried that your old boss might try to sabotage your new position, but obviously that's not the case. 

Kudos to you on all your introspection and all those positive resolutions. I know going through somethings like that is never easy, but I think you've done an incredible job analyzing what happened and how you can do better in the future. 

Personally, I wouldn't fight about your leaving date. Like somebody else said, you have PTO. Even if that's not exactly the way you planned to spend it, you should have at least SOME leeway in your plans. Your boss is talking about an 4 Oct departure date, but you prefer 18 Oct. Maybe you can compromise and agree on 11 Oct? I'd probably ask for that. But again, I wouldn't push it. 

Do you have any concrete plans for the move / a place to stay? We mentioned this in the previous thread, but I think you need to be within easy access to the airport, since you'll be traveling more. 

I wish you the very best of luck. I hope that your next job is the perfect fit for you!

And you should be very, very proud of yourself. I know you were in two rather sticky employment situations, but you managed to learn from them, and to negotiate new, better jobs. Keep on the learning curve, and you'll do just fine, I'm sure! 

It's hard to put plans into motion until I know exactly when I start day is.  There are several options.  I am lucky that I have friends from when I worked for the Navy before who are willing to let me stay with them wile I find a place.  I still may do a house hunting trip if I have time.

I officially requested relocation assistance from the Navy HR folks, who will pass along my request to my new management.  In the job announcement, it said relocation expenses MAY be authorized.  So we'll see if what, if anything, they'll pay for.  I'm also waiting on that.  It will be easier to do a move in a shorter amount of time if they can pay for the moving expenses.

Yeah, I keep telling myself yet.  I'm not sure if it's just dumb luck that I get into situations like this and then get out, or if there's something about me that helps me get out of trouble.  Either way, so far I've proven that I'm a tough nut to crack.  After all, I've lasted this long.

Hopefully I won't have any more troubles like this in the future.

[Deleted]

I think it's probably both Phoenix, something about you AND luck LOL. 

It's great that you have a friends to stay with while you scout out a place to live! So, you DO have friends, and you'll be moving closer to them! 

ETA: Dumb question ... could you stay on the base, at least until you get settled? I know nothing about the military so I don't know if that would be an option or not. 

[happyhoix]

Sept 26, 2014 13:23:40 GMT -5 Phoenix84 said:

Yes, those are probably good questions to be up front about. I think part of the problem both here and at the Air Force was simple personality/work style/expectation differences. Communication on those subjects probably would have helped everyone involved.

I think so, too, because you did fine with the woman who was your previous boss, so it sounds like you did your job well.

I had a boss that gave me wonderful reviews, promoted me, gave me additional opportunities, etc etc. Then he moved to a different facility within the company and we got the jackass. Suddenly I went from being the best manager to the worst. It wasn't just me - he didn't think women should be anything but secretaries, and he hated black people of both genders  - but it hurt to go from feeling like I was doing a great job to feeling like crap.

It wasn't that I did my job any differently. It was just that I didn't get along well with my boss. Sometimes that happens.

My happy ending was that the jackass, after constant complaints about him to HR, was finally put on leave and sent to 'remedial boss school' so they could tell him he was an asshole. The he hung around for a while doing 'special projects' that did not involve supervising anyone, until corporate found out he had been cooking the books and making vendors do work for him for free at his house in order to get contracts at the plant. And that, I guess was finally enough to make them fire him - degrading your female and black employees wasn't bad enough, but stealing from the company was.

Hopefully your witch of a boss will suffer a similar Karmic response!

[seriousthistime]

Phoenix, I often read your threads but don't comment because I rarely have anything of value to add.  

And I don't have anything of value to add to this one.  I think your OP shows a lot of insight and growth, and a whole lot of professional maturation.   

I wish you absolutely the best at your new position, and hope that your new job and your traveling won't mean you'll be leaving the YM community.  I for one would like you to stick around, and I know I am not alone. 

[Phoenix84]

Sept 26, 2014 15:51:40 GMT -5 @debthaven2 said:

I think it's probably both Phoenix, something about you AND luck LOL. 

It's great that you have a friends to stay with while you scout out a place to live! So, you DO have friends, and you'll be moving closer to them! 

ETA: Dumb question ... could you stay on the base, at least until you get settled? I know nothing about the military so I don't know if that would be an option or not. 

Maybe, we'll see. When I worked for the Air Force previously, staying on the visiting officer's quarters was an option. It might be so here too.