Cass
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Post by Cass on Jun 22, 2014 19:45:31 GMT -5
A co worker is getting married next weekend. I'm invited to the reception (at a bar, so drinks etc will be on me) but not the wedding itself. I've only known her about six months. Gift expected? If so, how much?
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Jun 22, 2014 19:56:19 GMT -5
I think it would be proper to give a gift according to your financial means and your relationship to the couple. If you've only known the bride-to-be for about 6 months, I'd think a gift certificate enclosed in a nice card would be appropriate.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Jun 22, 2014 19:57:15 GMT -5
Usually it is the other way around. Invited to the church/marriage ceremony but not the reception.
Because food will probably be provided to the guests at the reception/bar, bring a gift.
If I was only invited to the wedding ceremony but not the reception, I would not go and just send a card.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 22, 2014 19:57:32 GMT -5
Are other co workers going? Maybe a joint gift?
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Blonde Granny
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Post by Blonde Granny on Jun 22, 2014 20:03:43 GMT -5
I was on the Board of Directors of a large private company. For some reason, I was invited to a bridal shower for our corporate attorney. I didn't know her very well, and certainly had no social dealing with her. To be nice and thoughtful, I checked her registry at BBB. I set a $20 limit, and was able to buy most of the potato chip bag clips that her soon the be husband wanted for the kitchen. I spent with tax $22....yea me!
I delivered the package to her at the office as I was not attending the shower. I really felt that I had no business even being invited, let alone go to a shower for her. mmhmm idea was good, or see if you can find something inexpensive on her registry that she hasn't received. If you want to skip the cash bar reception, I think that would be OK too. |
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Knee Deep in Water Chloe
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Post by Knee Deep in Water Chloe on Jun 22, 2014 20:08:32 GMT -5
The service might be highly religious and non-believers may not be allowed in.
I agree with a a card and a <$30 gift certificate.
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Jun 23, 2014 10:51:20 GMT -5
The service might be highly religious and non-believers may not be allowed in. I agree with a a card and a <$30 gift certificate. Common! $50 at least! Yeah...and I would love to have an example of what that religion can be. |
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Jun 23, 2014 10:52:42 GMT -5
A co worker is getting married next weekend. I'm invited to the reception (at a bar, so drinks etc will be on me) but not the wedding itself. I've only known her about six months. Gift expected? If so, how much? Cass, you are lucky sonoffagun! Normally people are invited to the wedding ceremony and it is a drag if you don't really know bride or groom from the childhood...the only fun there is to laugh at the bridesmades dresses...but you are blessed by such a thing to be coming to eat only! So don't be a cheapo. And re-read invitation please. Just in case... |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 23, 2014 11:00:59 GMT -5
A co worker is getting married next weekend. I'm invited to the reception (at a bar, so drinks etc will be on me) but not the wedding itself. I've only known her about six months. Gift expected? If so, how much? I'm not getting the connection of why, if the reception is at a bar, they aren't paying for the drinks for their guests? did it specifically say cash bar on the invitation? |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 23, 2014 11:18:58 GMT -5
The service might be highly religious and non-believers may not be allowed in. I agree with a a card and a <$30 gift certificate. Common! $50 at least! Yeah...and I would love to have an example of what that religion can be. Mormon! |
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Jun 23, 2014 11:21:02 GMT -5
A co worker is getting married next weekend. I'm invited to the reception (at a bar, so drinks etc will be on me) but not the wedding itself. I've only known her about six months. Gift expected? If so, how much? I'm not getting the connection of why, if the reception is at a bar, they aren't paying for the drinks for their guests? did it specifically say cash bar on the invitation? I had missed that part. So there are going too be chips and nuts and they wanted as many people as possible at that bar so ANY gift will be more than what they spent on that bar bill? Cass...buy them a book. Place card with best wishes on the top and wrap as nice as possible. And make sure to stuff your pockets with all those nuts you can stuff them with.  |
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milee
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Post by milee on Jun 23, 2014 11:21:06 GMT -5
Shasta's right about the Mormon religion and nonbelievers.
One of my friends married a Mormon and there were parts OF HER OWN WEDDING she couldn't attend because she wasn't Mormon. |
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Jun 23, 2014 11:21:36 GMT -5
Common! $50 at least! Yeah...and I would love to have an example of what that religion can be. Mormon! Do Mormons do bars? |
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Cass
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Post by Cass on Jun 23, 2014 11:22:08 GMT -5
Thanks all, a gift card sounds good.
I don't have an invitation- I received a FB invite to the reception only and a "hey, are you coming out Saturday night?" When I saw her at work. I went to their Jack and Jill at a different bar a few months back and it wasn't reserved for them- just business as usual with other patrons so I was assuming this would be the same...?
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Jun 23, 2014 11:22:53 GMT -5
Shasta's right about the Mormon religion and nonbelievers.
One of my friends married a Mormon and there were parts OF HER OWN WEDDING she couldn't attend because she wasn't Mormon. Then they went to the bar and she danced on the tables and gave lap dances to everyone in a bar?  |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 23, 2014 11:36:38 GMT -5
Thanks all, a gift card sounds good. I don't have an invitation- I received a FB invite to the reception only and a "hey, are you coming out Saturday night?" When I saw her at work. I went to their Jack and Jill at a different bar a few months back and it wasn't reserved for them- just business as usual with other patrons so I was assuming this would be the same...? ok, for a FB invite, I wouldn't go and I would send them a card, no gift. a wedding should be a little more upscale than 'hey let's hang out at the bar'. will they be serving any actual food or bowls of nuts? |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 23, 2014 11:37:04 GMT -5
Usually it is the other way around. Invited to the church/marriage ceremony but not the reception. Because food will probably be provided to the guests at the reception/bar, bring a gift. If I was only invited to the wedding ceremony but not the reception, I would not go and just send a card. In my world, church and dinner go together. This thing at the bar is more the dance than reception. Personally I wouldn't get a gift for this. I really dislike this set up. Either I'm close enough to attend your wedding or not. If not I am not insulted. But don't put me in this spot where I have to make a point of not giving a gift. |
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Cass
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Post by Cass on Jun 23, 2014 11:43:37 GMT -5
Meh, life is too short to be easily offended. She works full time and has kids, planning a wedding probably took a backseat. I like her and need a night out!  |
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kittensaver
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Post by kittensaver on Jun 23, 2014 11:52:31 GMT -5
Meh, life is too short to be easily offended. She works full time and has kids, planning a wedding probably took a backseat. I like her and need a night out!  Then go and enjoy yourself! Sounds almost like the "reception" is an after-party. But whatever - - if you guys like each other, go party and don't worry about what others think  Toss a few bucks or a gift card into a wedding card and be done with it. People get offended waaaaaaaaaay too easily sometimes. |
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Abby Normal
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Post by Abby Normal on Jun 23, 2014 11:53:30 GMT -5
Sorry- this bride is well on her way to Etiquette Hell. First, you do not invite someone to the reception, but not to the wedding (or reverse). Assuming it was a religious exception (the bar makes me think it's not) than a face book invite to the "come share in my joy" party is tacky. This is a gift grab and nothing more.
Leave a card on her desk and wish her well.
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MarleyKeezy78
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Post by MarleyKeezy78 on Jun 23, 2014 11:54:01 GMT -5
Shasta's right about the Mormon religion and nonbelievers.
One of my friends married a Mormon and there were parts OF HER OWN WEDDING she couldn't attend because she wasn't Mormon. Whaaatttt  That is so weird to me  I would be so offended if I couldn't be at parts of my own wedding! |
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Jun 23, 2014 12:09:42 GMT -5
Meh, life is too short to be easily offended. She works full time and has kids, planning a wedding probably took a backseat. I like her and need a night out! Is it me or Cass just sounded like he is hoping for night out with HER?  |
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Sam_2.0
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Post by Sam_2.0 on Jun 23, 2014 12:23:20 GMT -5
The wedding also could have been a small, family affair and just a big reception party afterwards. I had friends that did it that way - maybe 50 people total at the actual vows ceremony but 300+ at the reception. Not for religious reasons, they just wanted to get married in a place that was special to them and the number of people that would fit was severely restricted. Enjoy the time out, Cass FB only invites seem to be the new thing - I've received several of them over the past couple of years. It was weird at first but now I am used to it. Heck, I am doing invites like that for Aly's b-day party |
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Jun 24, 2014 3:11:19 GMT -5
Can someone explain why you would only invite someone to the reception and not the wedding or vice versa? I find that really bizarre.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 24, 2014 6:11:58 GMT -5
The wedding thing, well, one of my best friends ONLY had their parents and siblings at the wedding, very small venue. They had a picnic tutor party the next weekend.
Maybe there isn't a "wedding"... Maybe they are just going to the JP and then want to go out with friends to celebrate?
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Cookies Galore
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Post by Cookies Galore on Jun 24, 2014 6:55:42 GMT -5
Can someone explain why you would only invite someone to the reception and not the wedding or vice versa? I find that really bizarre. Some people have a reception after the fact to celebrate with friends and family. My sister got married when she and my brother-in-law were on vacation. It was just parents, siblings, and a couple of friends. They had a big party a couple of months later. I have no problem with that approach (I considered that scenario for us). Any reason for a good party is a good idea in my book! |
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Jun 24, 2014 8:07:52 GMT -5
A party a couple of months later after an intimate wedding, fine. That isn't what I am referring too. But a wedding and the reception to follow but only inviting some people to the reception.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Jun 24, 2014 8:09:19 GMT -5
I personally would not even consider doing that. It's like having an A list and a B list. If I wanted an intimate wedding, I would have one and then have cake or a small dinner with the small party. But yeah, maybe later a bigger party.
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Jun 25, 2014 6:53:50 GMT -5
I personally would not even consider doing that. It's like having an A list and a B list. If I wanted an intimate wedding, I would have one and then have cake or a small dinner with the small party. But yeah, maybe later a bigger party. I am ty sure YOU can do it they way YOU want it. However some will critisize YOUR way no matter what. |
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Jun 25, 2014 8:54:36 GMT -5
I think it's tacky. Just my opinion.
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