tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Jun 19, 2014 11:43:48 GMT -5
This morning h ad a conversation with awesome young woman mother of a toddler I know for a few years. She is a low-tier manager in supermarket. Went back to school.Dreaming of having more kids. And we are talking about how life is stressful and uneasy.
At my store I am meeting tons of people who are mostly very tired and bored and unhappy with how things are going in their lives. I do not ask about how to help those people. What I am looking for is maybe some model for future of our children who are now just starting out.
Kids are born, go to school, college and after that... finding jobs getting bills and realizing how to pay them (putting money aside) meeting future spouses or partners getting kids paying day cares along with working... ...all this is leading to an exhaustion...apparently.
Do you see anything young adult can do to structure their lives so they can ENJOY some of it? So they can stop, look up in the sky, breathe, run the fields barefoot, swim in a silver creek, simply lay in stock of hay and watch clouds?
Where have we lost all of it and IS there way to have it nowadays when all iz crazy?
I had heard some people doing it or planning on doing it. HOW?
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tractor
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Post by tractor on Jun 19, 2014 14:42:55 GMT -5
I hear LSD will take your mind off reality for awhile. I've been told that everything gets really groovy and your worries go away.
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Jun 19, 2014 15:05:03 GMT -5
Pot's a lot less dangerous and you won't have flashbacks years later and be tempted to fly out windows Just sayin'
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CarolinaKat
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Post by CarolinaKat on Jun 19, 2014 15:17:36 GMT -5
I tried new coffee this morning. It was awesome.
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greeniis10
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Post by greeniis10 on Jun 19, 2014 15:27:20 GMT -5
As a young person starting out, I would say pace yourself. You don't have to be married by a certain age or have children just because everyone else your age does or acquire the same amount of material possessions your peers have.
You can slow down and enjoy life if you just take it at your own pace. This is not to say what is right or wrong but my oldest 2 kids ended up with "oops" babies, one got married and the other shares custody with the other parent. They had no choice but to grow up quickly.
Youngest DS broke up with his girlfriend last fall because she was pushing to have kids (they were both only 21!) but he was not interested. He now has his house to himself, his 2 dogs, and a good job. He's relatively carefree.
I can't imagine life without my grandchildren! But you do miss out on those early, carefree days of adulthood when you should just be figuring out what you want in life.
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mollyanna58
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Post by mollyanna58 on Jun 19, 2014 15:31:14 GMT -5
Poor Looney asked a serious question.
People have to make time for relaxation to decompress from busy lives. It doesn't have to cost money. Just go to a park and sit and people watch for a while. I'm sure Philly has lots of free or low cost museums and other attractions.
I'm usually busy Saturdays with volunteer work or just getting all the errands done that I don't have time for during the week. But I decided to have some "me" time the past two Saturdays. One week I went to a Scottish festival. Last week I went to a Broadway play. OK, that wasn't cheap, but it was different and I had a very nice day.
You just have to schedule some down time.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 20, 2014 1:13:24 GMT -5
I think getting the opportunity to explore interests and hobbies so you have something you are passionate about it very important. I had to be a grown up too young and never did that. I don't seem to have any interests I am highly attached to. It makes we worry that when I retire I will have no thoughts on what I want to do with my time.
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Jun 20, 2014 6:42:03 GMT -5
I think getting the opportunity to explore interests and hobbies so you have something you are passionate about it very important. I had to be a grown up too young and never did that. I don't seem to have any interests I am highly attached to. It makes we worry that when I retire I will have no thoughts on what I want to do with my time. I'ts never to late. I've always thought that is why so many men died right after retiring, they had nothing in their lives except their work and poof, that was gone. I know that is a generalization but made me wonder.
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Nazgul Girl
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Post by Nazgul Girl on Jun 20, 2014 6:55:43 GMT -5
Abraham Lincoln said, " Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be.” I believe that to be true. I've seen people who were in the midst of plenty in their lives who were miserable over nothing, and others with horrible circumstances who were happy and grateful despite their problems. I think it comes from how they're hardwired.
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Jun 20, 2014 9:37:15 GMT -5
I tried new coffee this morning. It was awesome. Was it monkey poop one? Seriously! If you share this - how hard is it to tell us WHICH brand. Don't you understand people will want to KNOW and ASK!
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Jun 20, 2014 9:40:55 GMT -5
Poor Looney asked a serious question. People have to make time for relaxation to decompress from busy lives. It doesn't have to cost money. Just go to a park and sit and people watch for a while. I'm sure Philly has lots of free or low cost museums and other attractions. I'm usually busy Saturdays with volunteer work or just getting all the errands done that I don't have time for during the week. But I decided to have some "me" time the past two Saturdays. One week I went to a Scottish festival. Last week I went to a Broadway play. OK, that wasn't cheap, but it was different and I had a very nice day. You just have to schedule some down time. Really? I was just from the mixed metaphor title..... How is that you laughing so hard every time at things that aren't even remotely funny?
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Jun 20, 2014 9:46:44 GMT -5
I think getting the opportunity to explore interests and hobbies so you have something you are passionate about it very important. I had to be a grown up too young and never did that. I don't seem to have any interests I am highly attached to. It makes we worry that when I retire I will have no thoughts on what I want to do with my time. Completely understand. No passion about anything. Food maybe. All the rest are not for public disclosure... However when I am retire I think I will find so many things to do and I won't do them! Will watch all the shows and read all the books but it is all when retire. I want to know what does person have to do to be not carefree but enjoy life? Like sitting in a park on the bench is cool IF your head is free of thoughts about how to pay your bills... I was looking for more financial take on this like how do smart people structuring their bills, savings and 'me money' so they can LIVE and BREATHE?
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Jun 20, 2014 9:51:50 GMT -5
Abraham Lincoln said, " Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be.” I believe that to be true. I've seen people who were in the midst of plenty in their lives who were miserable over nothing, and others with horrible circumstances who were happy and grateful despite their problems. I think it comes from how they're hardwired. Agree. However again. More financial take on the question. I know what my mindset is. It is far from happy, romantic etc. However I could enjoy vacation IF I didn't have to worry about wasting money that I might going to need very much very soon. So if lets say young person starting to make $50K salary, living in $1000 (utility incl) apartment, car payment, car insurance, food... and they have to socialize and save some...what KIND of salary would be minimal for living nice? I am coming up with huge figures...and it is BEFORE kids.
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mollyanna58
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Post by mollyanna58 on Jun 20, 2014 10:09:38 GMT -5
Many times it's not about how much money you earn, but how you choose to spend it. In your example, someone is earning $50K; spending $12K on rent.
That person may choose to buy a car with a $600. monthly payment, plus insurance. Probably doable without too much problem.
This same person also likes to go out to eat 5 nights a week, and spend a lot on clothes, entertainment, whatever. They may stress over money, because they are confusing wants with needs.
But if that same person cooks at home, brown bags lunch, enjoys low cost entertainment, then $50K may be more than enough.
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Jun 20, 2014 10:19:25 GMT -5
Many times it's not about how much money you earn, but how you choose to spend it. In your example, someone is earning $50K; spending $12K on rent. That person may choose to buy a car with a $600. monthly payment, plus insurance. Probably doable without too much problem. This same person also likes to go out to eat 5 nights a week, and spend a lot on clothes, entertainment, whatever. They may stress over money, because they are confusing wants with needs. But if that same person cooks at home, brown bags lunch, enjoys low cost entertainment, then $50K may be more than enough. Let's see. $1000 rent car can be $200 plus $150 insurance. $350 food about $100 per week? $400 gas about $50 per week? $200 whatnuts entertainment $100 per week $400 ________________ $2350 per month so far not including cosmetics clothing toiletries once a month out to eat _________________ Do you see what I am saying? $50K is a poor person's salary. Where do they supposed to get the money from to SAVE and to have to be worry-free?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 20, 2014 10:24:18 GMT -5
Many times it's not about how much money you earn, but how you choose to spend it. In your example, someone is earning $50K; spending $12K on rent. That person may choose to buy a car with a $600. monthly payment, plus insurance. Probably doable without too much problem. This same person also likes to go out to eat 5 nights a week, and spend a lot on clothes, entertainment, whatever. They may stress over money, because they are confusing wants with needs. But if that same person cooks at home, brown bags lunch, enjoys low cost entertainment, then $50K may be more than enough. Let's see. $1000 rent car can be $200 plus $150 insurance. $350 food about $100 per week? $400 gas about $50 per week? $200 whatnuts entertainment $100 per week $400 ________________ $2350 per month so far not including cosmetics clothing toiletries once a month out to eat _________________ Do you see what I am saying? $50K is a poor person's salary. Where do they supposed to get the money from to SAVE and to have to be worry-free? I wish I was making 50K!
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mollyanna58
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Post by mollyanna58 on Jun 20, 2014 10:26:08 GMT -5
See, that's just it. Say the net salary is $3350. per month, leaving $1,000. after your example. I certainly don't spend $1K monthly on cosmetics, toiletries, and clothing; but some people do. Some people would spend every penny; some people would be able to save a good chunk of that $1K.
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Jun 20, 2014 10:33:42 GMT -5
See, that's just it. Say the net salary is $3350. per month, leaving $1,000. after your example. I certainly don't spend $1K monthly on cosmetics, toiletries, and clothing; but some people do. Some people would spend every penny; some people would be able to save a good chunk of that $1K. I do not spend anything on cosmetics etc., however I am not young anymore and I have no desires. If I was young like my daughter I would be broke on that salary. However I see what you are saying. $1000 leftover will give her...GEEZ! We are forgetting HEALTH freaking Insurance! About $200 now for well paid single pro? Or more? So we have $800 leftover. How much of that should be put aside for saving account?
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teen persuasion
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Post by teen persuasion on Jun 20, 2014 10:37:00 GMT -5
Do you see anything young adult can do to structure their lives so they can ENJOY some of it? So they can stop, look up in the sky, breathe, run the fields barefoot, swim in a silver creek, simply lay in stock of hay and watch clouds? Where have we lost all of it and IS there way to have it nowadays when all iz crazy? I had heard some people doing it or planning on doing it. HOW? They read Mr Money Mustache.
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Nazgul Girl
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Post by Nazgul Girl on Jun 20, 2014 10:41:25 GMT -5
Many times it's not about how much money you earn, but how you choose to spend it. In your example, someone is earning $50K; spending $12K on rent. That person may choose to buy a car with a $600. monthly payment, plus insurance. Probably doable without too much problem. This same person also likes to go out to eat 5 nights a week, and spend a lot on clothes, entertainment, whatever. They may stress over money, because they are confusing wants with needs. But if that same person cooks at home, brown bags lunch, enjoys low cost entertainment, then $50K may be more than enough. Let's see. $1000 rent car can be $200 plus $150 insurance. $350 food about $100 per week? $400 gas about $50 per week? $200 whatnuts entertainment $100 per week $400 ________________ $2350 per month so far not including cosmetics clothing toiletries once a month out to eat _________________ Do you see what I am saying? $50K is a poor person's salary. Where do they supposed to get the money from to SAVE and to have to be worry-free? Oh brother. That's not a poor person's salary. That's a salary that needs to be spent wisely. I could live on $30,000 to $ 40,000 if I needed to do so.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 20, 2014 11:46:36 GMT -5
Let's see. $1000 rent car can be $200 plus $150 insurance. $350 food about $100 per week? $400 gas about $50 per week? $200 whatnuts entertainment $100 per week $400 ________________ $2350 per month so far not including cosmetics clothing toiletries once a month out to eat _________________ Do you see what I am saying? $50K is a poor person's salary. Where do they supposed to get the money from to SAVE and to have to be worry-free? Oh brother. That's not a poor person's salary. That's a salary that needs to be spent wisely. I could live on $30,000 to $ 40,000 if I needed to do so. And the hypothetical budget is bloated. $100/week for entertainment and $100/week for groceries? For ONE person?
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Jun 20, 2014 11:53:52 GMT -5
Oh brother. That's not a poor person's salary. That's a salary that needs to be spent wisely. I could live on $30,000 to $ 40,000 if I needed to do so. And the hypothetical budget is bloated. $100/week for entertainment and $100/week for groceries? For ONE person? We are not in Minnesota. Prices are higher in here. And one ticket to a theater is around $50. Plus cable. Plus simple BDys of 100 friends. Weddings (OMG!)...etc. Food I am not sure. If she will not shop at my store - produce alone will cost her $3.99 strawberries, $4.99 blueberries, $3.49lb pepper, $3.99 5lb potatoes, $2.99 lb good tomatoes, $2.49 lettuce...so forth. And I am sure she will not take lunches with her if she is not going to live with me.
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CarolinaKat
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Post by CarolinaKat on Jun 20, 2014 11:56:58 GMT -5
I tried new coffee this morning. It was awesome. Was it monkey poop one? Seriously! If you share this - how hard is it to tell us WHICH brand. Don't you understand people will want to KNOW and ASK! It was Gevalia. It was either that or Starbucks at the shoppette and I decided to try something new. Also, I enjoy life by making time to do nothing with DH. Doing nothing can be very productive
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 20, 2014 12:05:53 GMT -5
And the hypothetical budget is bloated. $100/week for entertainment and $100/week for groceries? For ONE person? We are not in Minnesota. Prices are higher in here. And one ticket to a theater is around $50. Plus cable. Plus simple BDys of 100 friends. Weddings (OMG!)...etc. Food I am not sure. If she will not shop at my store - produce alone will cost her $3.99 strawberries, $4.99 blueberries, $3.49lb pepper, $3.99 5lb potatoes, $2.99 lb good tomatoes, $2.49 lettuce...so forth. And I am sure she will not take lunches with her if she is not going to live with me. The budget is not balanced. You can save on that income, you just don't spend $50 on theater tickets, have cable or buy 100 people birthday presents a year.
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Jun 20, 2014 12:05:57 GMT -5
Was it monkey poop one? Seriously! If you share this - how hard is it to tell us WHICH brand. Don't you understand people will want to KNOW and ASK! It was Gevalia. It was either that or Starbucks at the shoppette and I decided to try something new. Also, I enjoy life by making time to do nothing with DH. Doing nothing can be very productive THAT I almost insist you elaborate please.
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Jun 20, 2014 12:46:19 GMT -5
Everyone spends roughly a third of their life asleep. Most adults spend another third at work, getting ready for work, or getting back and forth from work. That remaining third is the part where people need help. I see way too many people that mostly waste it worrying about work/bills while staring at a TV. People need hobbies. Something that makes them happy, that they enjoy thinking about, planning, doing, and talking about with others. There's nothing wrong with watching some TV now and again, but you can't spend your whole life asleep, working, and watching shows about people with TV perfect or interesting lives. It will make you feel like your life sucks in comparison, because it actually does.
Hobbies don't have to be expensive, although there are some cool options for those with a decent income. They can be simple, fairly cheap, and solitary. Like knitting/sewing. Or they can be something that requires a lot of interaction with others, like team sports. People need something more in their lives than working and watching stories about others.
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teen persuasion
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Post by teen persuasion on Jun 20, 2014 14:43:54 GMT -5
Everyone spends roughly a third of their life asleep. Most adults spend another third at work, getting ready for work, or getting back and forth from work. That remaining third is the part where people need help. I see way too many people that mostly waste it worrying about work/bills while staring at a TV. People need hobbies. Something that makes them happy, that they enjoy thinking about, planning, doing, and talking about with others. There's nothing wrong with watching some TV now and again, but you can't spend your whole life asleep, working, and watching shows about people with TV perfect or interesting lives. It will make you feel like your life sucks in comparison, because it actually does. Hobbies don't have to be expensive, although there are some cool options for those with a decent income. They can be simple, fairly cheap, and solitary. Like knitting/sewing. Or they can be something that requires a lot of interaction with others, like team sports. People need something more in their lives than working and watching stories about others. I thought that the problem was that people were too busy working to pay bills to have time to do things that they enjoy, not that they had too much time to kill. I will agree that hobbies are preferable to vegging out in front of the tv, but you must have better tv choices than I do. I can't think of any "tv perfect lives" in the shows I see advertised, just the reverse - the characters all seem dysfunctional and have crummy lives. I've given up on most tv, since that stuff is NOT entertaining to me.
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Nazgul Girl
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Post by Nazgul Girl on Jun 20, 2014 15:21:26 GMT -5
And the hypothetical budget is bloated. $100/week for entertainment and $100/week for groceries? For ONE person? We are not in Minnesota. Prices are higher in here. And one ticket to a theater is around $50. Plus cable. Plus simple BDys of 100 friends. Weddings (OMG!)...etc. Food I am not sure. If she will not shop at my store - produce alone will cost her $3.99 strawberries, $4.99 blueberries, $3.49lb pepper, $3.99 5lb potatoes, $2.99 lb good tomatoes, $2.49 lettuce...so forth. And I am sure she will not take lunches with her if she is not going to live with me. I think you are joking, Loony. " Simple BDys of 100 friends ?!" Maybe in your world, not in mine. One ticket to a theater costs $ 50 ?! Well, sure, maybe for a live performance. But, you can skip paying the $50 and watch a movie on tv, go to a movie theater during the matinee times when prices are lower, or go to see a high school production of a play for much less money. You don't have to spend every penny that you have.
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justme
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Post by justme on Jun 20, 2014 15:57:45 GMT -5
Nice things don't get handed to people. Expensive salaries usually only come with a lot of experience. It's called entry level for a reason. Expecting to live as well as your parents have it in their 40s and 50s when you're in your 20s is pretty much a pipe dream. So if your standard of nice is what people have when they're 20+ years into the workforce, well then yeah kids just starting in the work force won't have a nice life.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 20, 2014 21:44:11 GMT -5
I think getting the opportunity to explore interests and hobbies so you have something you are passionate about it very important. I had to be a grown up too young and never did that. I don't seem to have any interests I am highly attached to. It makes we worry that when I retire I will have no thoughts on what I want to do with my time. Completely understand. No passion about anything. Food maybe. All the rest are not for public disclosure... However when I am retire I think I will find so many things to do and I won't do them! Will watch all the shows and read all the books but it is all when retire. I want to know what does person have to do to be not carefree but enjoy life? Like sitting in a park on the bench is cool IF your head is free of thoughts about how to pay your bills... I was looking for more financial take on this like how do smart people structuring their bills, savings and 'me money' so they can LIVE and BREATHE? Loony, I make a little more than the 50k you mentioned. Here's how I can sit on a park bench and chill out without worrying about bills. I decided I'd rather stay in my "starter house" than upgrade and have a $1k or more monthly payment. Once I paid my car off, I decided to keep driving it until the wheels fall off. Its an 03. I opened a savings account seperate from my EF and have automatic transfers go there for irregular and unexpected expenses. When something comes due or something unexcpected happens (as long as its not astronomical) I don't have to scramble to find the money. Because I keep my fixed expenses low, after I take care of the important stuff, I do have to buy food and gas but I have enough money left to also do/buy some things just because I want to. As long as I'm spending money from that particlar pot, I don't feel guilty. Its set up to BE my spending money. My plan works for me and has given me peace of mind. That's how I get to enjoy my life and breathe.
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