At what age can kids be home alone?

[Firebird]

Last weekend, we let our 12 year old neighbor babysit for Babybird since she was dying to do it and her parents would be home the whole time.  The girl and her little sister play with Babybird all the time, and they adore her. 

When we came home, the whole family was sitting out on the lawn and Babybird was playing with their dog.  It was very sweet.

I have no problem letting her babysit as long as there are responsible adults around (her parents or mine, who live across the street).  But I don't think I'd let her watch Babybird alone unless they were going to stay in the house the whole time. 

At what age did you let your kids stay home by themselves?  If they babysit, what age did they start doing that?  And when you get a babysitter, what's the minimum age you want them to be?

[milee]

Very dependent on the kid (every one is different), the neighborhood situation, etc.

You know the neighbor and her family, so that seems very reasonable. There are plenty of 12 year olds who would be fine by themselves but not being responsible for another kid. And there are plenty of 12 year olds who aren't yet ready to be alone by themselves.

I like a little older babysitter - preferably one that can drive and who I know will keep their wits if an emergency happens - but I didn't have any neighbors like you're describing. If I had a neighbor situation like you're describing, that would sound very reasonable. You're lucky to have that.

[bean29]

Most kids take a babysitting course around 12.  I would think that means that is the age of responsibility.  My DD was super aware of what little kids were doing around her.  She had younger cousins always around when her grandparents were watching her after school/summers.  DD never babysat much, I don't think she really likes kids too much either.

[genericname]

We had the girl scout from across the street start watching DS when she was 12 and DS was just over a year old. Her dad works from home and her mom is a kindergarten teacher, and they were always home when we had her watch DS. She had taken the babysitter class the city offers through their rec program before she watched DS, as well. He absolutely adores her, and is sad she hasn't watched him for a while, but there hasn't been much going out and leaving them alone since the new baby came along. The babysitter also now has a younger sibling, so she's pretty tied up helping with him. 

I'm sure the maturity level of the child has a lot to do with the decision as well. I won't let my 13 year old niece watch DS unless her mom or dad is with her, but that's just because she is not very conscientious. She's a good kid, just very young for her age. Her mom is one of those "hands off" parenting people. Her mom said she doesn't like to impose too many boundaries or too much discipline because it interferes with my niece developing her own personality or something. From what I see, it just makes my niece hate having to clean anything or consider consequences of her actions, and expect to get everything she wants as soon as she asks. If my niece didn't have a good heart at the core of her personality, she would be an intolerable bitch, but she's good at heart and just needs some guidance. 

[yogiii]

I was that 12 year old.  I was babysitting the kids across the street who were 4 and 6 the summer I was 11 from 9-5 every day.  My mom was a teacher and generally home most of the day, so I'm sure that was a factor for the mom of the kids.

ETA - The mom of the kids was actually the one who approached me, not the other way around.  I was paid $2/hour

[Firebird]

If I had a neighbor situation like you're describing, that would sound very reasonable. You're lucky to have that.

Oh, I know!  It's a great setup, and will be even better over the summer when they're out of school.  The kids in our neighborhood range from 5-13 on average and Babybird is like their little pet.  They love her - actually squeal with delight when they see her and call her their little sister

12 seems like a good benchmark age but I agree it's heavily dependent on the kid and the neighborhood.  Our neighborhood is pretty safe and enclosed.

[CarolinaKat]

Depends on the kid.

My 13 yo niece I would not leave alone in the house. She's not mature enough to handle it.

My 13 yo cousin was probably fine to leave alone at 10 or so. At 13 she can manage herself, her younger brother and her 4 younger cousins like it's a freaking cakewalk.  *I* have trouble with all that.

[Deleted]

It depends on the kid.  My soon to be 12 year old has been staying home alone for quite a while.  Maybe 9 was when he first was staying home full days?  My biggest concern with him is he'll just sit and play video games or watch TV all day, not that he'd get in trouble or burn the place down, so up until this summer I still scheduled things for most no school days. 

My son also has no access to other kids.  If it was a situation where he could have friends over, I would not have left him alone that young. 

As far as babysitting...eh.  I'm going to have him take the Red Cross class this year (you have to be 12) and see how it goes.  He watches his brother for short stints when I mow or have to run to town quick, but I don't trust him as much with watching a younger kid, especially his brother who he finds annoying.  He just gets too distracted in his own world, either with his games or reading and doesn't pay attention to his brother (who is a bit more of a trouble maker).  I think he might be better with watching other people's kids where there wasn't all the sibling rivalry.

[sheilaincali]

DS started doing the whole going home after school alone until we got off from work at age 10. We lived like 2 blocks from the school (he didn't have to cross any streets) and I worked about 15 minutes away. He would come home, lock the front door, call me and let the dog out. He was usually home for about 90 minutes before I got home from work.

He didn't start babysitting until he was like 13. He'd babysit his younger cousins (who were like 5 and 7 at the time). Now at 16 he babysits pretty frequently. The little kids absolutely adore him.

I'd be ok with a 12 year old babysitting especially since she has experience with baby-bird. More comfortable since her parents are near by, but I wouldn't be upset if they were at the grocery store while their DD was babysitting your DD.

I started babysitting at around 12 and did it until I was 16 or so- then my sister took over (she would have been 13 at the time). Our favorite gig was for the doctor that lived behind us. His wife suffered from really bad PPD (I didn't realize at the time that's what it was) so she'd check into a hotel once a month to get away from it all. He'd pay me to be on call when he was on call so I hung out at my parents house and if there was a surgery he had to go in for I could be at his house in less than 2 minutes. He paid very generously back in the late 80's early 90's but they had 5 kids.

[zibazinski]

Depends on the kid, it really does. Some states do have laws so check on that.

[justme]

I had an older brother, so we were left alone for longer periods once we were both old enough to not have the older have to watch me (VERY bad idea for us). I'm guessing it was around 9/12 but could have been a bit younger since at 9 I was already cooking dinner alone in the kitchen - but it was probably shorter time spans the younger we were. Yeah, 9 for me sounds about right because I think that's when my mom started subbing so I'd be home for 30 minutes or so before my dad showed up on those days.

I was probably 'baby sitting' with the adults near by around 9/10. It was more of my neighbors asking if I could come over and entertain their grand kids who were a bit younger than me for a while. Sometimes I'd pop over if I was bored. They still paid me both ways even though I tried to turn it down - they'd shove the money in my pocket and make me leave. It was probably 12 when I was baby sitting on my own and at first it was older kids (say 4+) and then when I got older in 8th and 9th grade I would also watch a pair that were like 3 and 4 or something (all I know is both were potty trained!). But those ages were just what the families I knew had kids at, so I don't know if I knew families with kids that were younger when I would have started looking after them by myself. 

Sorry for the guesstimate on ages, I really can't remember exactly what age. 

[Deleted]

My son's cousin is 13 and I'm not sure I'd leave him out of my sight for very long, I definitely wouldn't let him babysit!  If he lived with me, I'd probably have his bedroom door removed.

[Spellbound454]

I used a female baby sitter when they turned 14
The rules were:-
Made sure they had all the numbers...we didn't stay out late.....they were paid immediately.....and they were taken home.
They could have another female companion but not a male one.
Mostly they just checked on the kids a couple of times and did their homework or watched TV.
...and I'd ring during our outing to make sure everything was ok.

Younger ones weren't responsible enough imo
and older ones tended to do their own thing at the weekends.

[andreawick]

haven't had this discussion in at least 6 months...

let's see:

6 months old

18 years old

and

it's very dependent on the kid...

done.

[Sam_2.0]

I started watching kids when I was 11. That's about the time my mom would leave me at home with my 3 younger siblings too. There are a couple of girls from church that we'd trust to watch DD that are in the 12-13yr age range. Everyone seems to have a cellphone now and we leave numbers for them.

My mom always told me to pick up once the kids were in bed or before the parents got home. I would make sure all the dishes were done and things were generally picked up. Seemed to work well since I always got asked back to babysit. Now I love the babysitters that do the same. The one who watches DD regularly will unload & reload the dishwasher for us and makes sure all of DD's things are picked up with the living room and DD's room pretty cleaned before we get home. It's so nice to not have to worry about those things!

[swamp]

I've used a 13 year old boy to babysit my kids. His mother was right down the road, and he's a really responsible kid.

DH's nephew is 20, and I wouldn't leave him alone with kids.

[zibazinski]

See, there just are no cut and dried rules.

[cronewitch]

My niece was babysitting full time at 11. She was almost 12 and two mothers were friends with her mother. All the mothers were going to college in another town 5 days a week. The two mothers of the little ones had 2yo and two 4yos and the one babysat the other kids. So they wanted her because she was young and would play with the kids. She would go before the dad left for work and be with the kids all day until he got home. My DF was unemployed so would go over and help make lunch. The kids loved her and when the mom's came home would run to meet them talking about her and weekends wanted to go visit her.

She would babysit her little niece sometimes at 11-12 but they wouldn't let her stay home alone herself. They said when she was working she didn't get in trouble and was responsible, idle hands might be a problem.

A coworker had a 9 yo and was a single mother, her daughter was begging to be a latchkey kid. It would only be a few minutes after school so she was considering it.

Twelve is the legal age here to be left alone but each kid is different. My great niece is 15 and never left alone but she is special, her mom pays for daycare after school.

[giramomma]

We started leaving our oldest alone (9) last year for 15-30 minutes. This year, we are up to an hour.

There's no way in hell I can ever leave the older two home alone. Yesterday was the 2nd "real" day of summer vacation, and by noon, I was threatening that they'd have to go in their rooms if they couldn't keep their hands off of each other.

The youngest is way too stubborn to be left at home with an older sib.

For sitters, I prefer those that can drive. It came in handy once, as the sitter locked herself and our first out of our house. Because we gave her a car seat, she was able to take DS back to her house and watch him there. Around here, it's not too hard to find those kids. Generally they are too busy during the school year to take jobs.

[Deleted]

It really depends. I generally left mine w 14YOs, starting when their parents were at home or when they or us were local. 

Then a friend pushed me to leave them with her 12YO. I balked, she insisted. Her DD had spent the previous summer looking after her mom's best friend's TRIPLETS. I was worried but I took a chance (at first when we were out locally) and she was just FANTASTIC with my kids.

I found out years later that the 14/15YOs from down their street would call their parents to do the occasional diaper change, but not this girl LOL.

This said, obviously, you need to use your judgement. I loved the fact that most of our babysitters were local kids, I had seen them grow up and I knew their parents. But IMO some 12YOs can be more mature / savvy than 14YOs. 

Our BEST babysiter EVER was another neighborhood friend's son. Her two sons started a babysitting service. We started using them while the older son was "aging out" of it so we generally used the second son. She too pushed once, and only once, at a neighborhood dinner. She said PLEASE, try my sons JUST ONCE! And if you or your kids are unhappy, you never need to hire them again. 

We did. Again, when we were local. It was summer, and we only went out to dinner. Our kids cried when we came home LOL!!!

My boys were absolutely THRILLED with this guy!!! He used to help them w their homework, organize treasure hunts, etc etc etc. He fed them dinner too. 

I know that a lot of Americans are reluctant to hire male babysitters (my sister went BALLISTIC when I told her about this boy) but my kids LOVED him, he sat for us for about 4 years, and DS1 and he are RL friends now. I'm not sure I would have hired him out of the blue, but I had known his parents for years before we did, and all my kids have such fond memories of him!

[zibazinski]

DS babysat younger boys on his swim team for years. Parents liked him because he played with the kids and didnt sit on phone like the girls did.

[whoisjohngalt]

I am "slightly" older than 12 and still can't do it.

I offered to watch friends' kids a few months ago - the longest 4 hrs of my life!!!!!!

This was my second and will be the LAST babysitting gig ever!

[Deleted]

LOL Zib! Our first babysitter, we went out to dinner to celebrate my ex SIL's birthday. Literally two blocks away, we realized we'd left her BD gift on the table and came back. 

So two blocks, round trip. 

By the time we got home, the kids were in bed. 

She cried and cried and cried and we gave her one more chance. The next time we came home early (frankly I don't remember why) and they were about 8 of her friends watching TV. The kids were all really nice and polite and respectful when we kicked them all out of the house! Her mom called us the next day to yell at me and tell me how lucky I was, her DD had made sure they had all taken their shoes off!

That's when we decided to go with the kids of people we actually KNEW. One was younger, two were guys. Best decision EVER!

ETA: We also used the daughter of our pediatrician's secretary for a while, and the two daughter's of our local PT. They worked out really well too. 

But since my kids are 11 years apart, we went through a bunch of babysitters LOL. 

By FAR, the best were the 12 YO and my friend's middle son. He and his brother used to leave vouchers every NY's Day to their loyal clients. You'd get vouchers for X h free depending on how many hours you'd used them the year before LOL. 

[Deleted]

Sorry never answered the question. It REALLY depends on the kid. 

DS1 was 11 when DS3 was born. He had a cold. He knew he couldn't come to the hospital with a cold so the day I went into labor, he called the doctor, went to see her, went to the pharmacy, bought his meds, and then told me he had taken his meds for 24h so he was no longer contagious so he could come to the hospital. I should probably add that to get that all done, he skipped school, and forged my signature to account for his absence LOL.

I could have left him alone at 8 or 9 (for a few hours) but I never did because there were always his two younger siblings too, and because I didn't want to go to jail LOL. 

DS3 is EXTREMELY responsible but grew up with 3 older siblings. I had been dying to join the local theater troupe for YEARS but only did so once DS3 was 14. It's NOT that he would have been in any danger had I done it earlier, but, he would have been sad and miserable to be left alone in the evening before that age, because he grew up in a household full of kids, and he had a really hard time seeing them all (sort of) "fly the coop".

Now he's 16 and he can't wait for us to leave the house LOL. 

[Shooby]

Legally in my State it is 12.

[muttleynfelix]

In general, 12 sounds like a good age.  Specifically, it would depend on the person.  I would totally have our 12 year old neighbor come watch our kids as her parents are right next door. But her parents rely a lot on her to watch her her 5 year old and 3 year old brother and sister. So, she is use to babysitting.  We went camping with our 22 year old niece and we would ask her to watch 16 month old DD and she would for a second and then get distracted by her phone and next thing we knew JoJo was getting into trouble.  So, I would not allow her to watch DD by herself.     

[zibazinski]

Jun 11, 2014 16:32:14 GMT -5 @debthaven2 said:

LOL Zib! Our first babysitter, we went out to dinner to celebrate my ex SIL's birthday. Literally two blocks away, we realized we'd left her BD gift on the table and came back. 

So two blocks, round trip. 

By the time we got home, the kids were in bed. 

She cried and cried and cried and we gave her one more chance. The next time we came home early (frankly I don't remember why) and they were about 8 of her friends watching TV. The kids were all really nice and polite and respectful when we kicked them all out of the house! Her mom called us the next day to yell at me and tell me how lucky I was, her DD had made sure they had all taken their shoes off!

That's when we decided to go with the kids of people we actually KNEW. One was younger, two were guys. Best decision EVER!

ETA: We also used the daughter of our pediatrician's secretary for a while, and the two daughter's of our local PT. They worked out really well too. 

But since my kids are 11 years apart, we went through a bunch of babysitters LOL. 

By FAR, the best were the 12 YO and my friend's middle son. He and his brother used to leave vouchers every NY's Day to their loyal clients. You'd get vouchers for X h free depending on how many hours you'd used them the year before LOL. 

Now that's an entrepreneur !

[Deleted]

I'd leave the kids short periods by 8 I guess. I wouldn't personally have a 12 year old fit, or let mine alone, but it depends on kid I guess. I had an awesome 15 yr old eho I paid well and still even babysat for me hen she was home from college weekends.

[travelnut11]

I started babysitting for other people when I was 10 (in the 80s) though had been managing my younger siblings for quite a bit longer than that for a few hours at a time.  I created a flyer for my service and got quite a few regular jobs that way including several families with 3 kids.  Like everyone else I think it depends on the maturity level of the kids.  I don't have kids yet but I would think by about 8 years old kids could be left by themselves for short periods (trips to the grocery store, etc.).  Of course I wouldn't hire an 8 year old babysitter...12ish sounds reasonable to me to unless I know a younger kid to be exceptionally mature.

[marvholly]

I started leaving my kids home alone for SHORT times (15 min-30 min) when DD1 was about 10 & DD2 6. DD1 started babysitting for people ON our block when she was 12, DD2 picked up the job when she was 11 & DD1 was too involved in her own activities. This was WAAAY before cell phones as they are now 35 & 39. However, we were generally home.

Now, IL i hear has a law that they MUST be at least 13.