The death of formal dining rooms...

[teen persuasion]

We've got an old house, probably 1830's, and are in the slowwww process of remodeling the kitchen, so we are using the kitchen in an upstairs apartment.  That kitchen is too small for a table for a family of seven, so the adjacent room is the dining room.  It is a big improvement over the layout of the other kitchen - the table was forced into a corner that was too small for it, even though the room is 16' x 15'.  There was a long counter that cut the room nearly in half, and doors everywhere, so traffic flow was awkward.  Upper cabinets over the counter obscured sight lines, the sink too far outside the work triangle at the wall end of the dreaded counter, you name it, it was awful.

I'm planning on having a big table in the center of the remodeled kitchen, not shunted off to a corner, and everything flows around it.  Something more like a keeping room.  I haven't decided if we'll use the adjacent room as a formal dining room.  We'll see when we get there.  It would be used only for larger family gatherings, unless I begin using the kitchen table as a work surface and it is easier to set another table rather than clear it.

We play musical rooms all the time  - when the kitchen remodel is done, and the kitchen upstairs is no longer needed, it is slated to become two bathrooms, and the adjacent dining room is to be the master bedroom.  THAT is currently a floor below, in what was probably the formal parlor.  It has the most impressive molding and trim of the entire house.  Prior to this setup, the master bedroom and living room were swapped.

There have been so many additions to this place that it is difficult to guess the original room intentions.  The kitchen under remodel is in the third section of the house, maybe 1875.  I can't figure out where the kitchen could have been in the oldest part of the house, especially since the presumed parlor takes up more than half the first floor!  I seem to remember learning that a separate room just for dining was not common in the past; tables were set up as needed, and then cleared away after.  Hmm, time for some research, I think.

[TheOtherMe]

I have never had a formal dining room.  Current home has open floor plan so I do not know where I would put one.  

Mom and dad turned my childhood bedroom in to a dining room in use only after I left home.  That house was only 940 sq ft, so the eat in kitchen space was very, very small.  They didn't change anything else in that room so it was sold as a 3 bedroom house.

I did have a house once that had a family room and a formal living room.  I never furnished the formal living room so I never used it.

[Tiny]

May 25, 2014 5:17:54 GMT -5 truthbound said:

Thanks to our current crop of politicians people can't afford the extra square footage. That aside there is no reason to heave two tables which are on average 12 feet away from one another.

Not sure how the politics fits into this - as my Post WWII 1200 square foot house has a 13 *13 dining room with custom built in china cabinets (so I assume the size and built ins make it a 'formal' dining room)... while a friends very nice 1980's era over 2000 sq foot house has a little afterthought 10 * 12 dining room that's kinda useless considering it's placement to the rest of the house.    Houses haven't gotten smaller - they've gotten bigger.

But, what's REALLY interesting is the having two tables...  I've got a 4 seater kitchen table in the 'breakfast nook' for informal dining and then the dining room with the Big Table.  Always used when I have 4 or more guests (Holidays, Game Night, informal get togethers) just so we can all sit at the same table. 

Back to my friend's more modern house - they have a large open space for 'family room/area for a table/kitchen'  The area for a table easily and comfortably  seats 6 people - and you can see the TV and/or chat with people in the 'family room' area or kitchen area.     Their 'formal dining' room is a tight cramped fit  with 6 to 8 people.   Their house is kinda between old style houses (for our area) and the new open floor plans.

I guess it depends on what you consider a 'formal dining room'...  and the era/layout of the house.    I think for awhile there modern houses had an 'identity crisis' as they attempt to have both a living room (front room/frunch room depending on where you live ) and dining room coupled with a family room/informal dining area.    I think it was because people buying houses wanted the familiarity of what they might have grown up with... but also wanted the newer bigger more open 'family area' style.       I think the modern crop of youngins' will want what they are familiar with (kitchen, dining, family room - so you can cook, eat, or sit and watch TV without living a 'room')  in the houses they ultimately purchase.   I'm going off the hundreds of thousands of houses that make up the new housing stock in my area.   I live in a very urban area.  I'm sure houses vary somewhat across regions. 

 

[Ombud]

I have a formal dining room and a good size breakfast room (sm size as kitchen LOL). I'm the 1st owner of this track ranch so I had them omit the wall between the diningroom and livingroom. Its about 15x40. But arranged like 2 separate areas. The kitchen is small (only 10x10). But the wall between the kitchen and breakfast room was also omitted. The living / dining room has become a dining / music room. Who needs a living room? Isn't that what the family room is for?

[Bonny]

May 25, 2014 11:01:26 GMT -5 Ombud said:

Who needs a living room? Isn't that what the family room is for?

LOL, it's just DH and me and we "need" our separate spaces.

We have an elevated rancher with the upstairs being the main living area and the downstairs is the "man-cave", garage, laundry area and a 1/2 bath.

Last night was a good example. He could watch his boomy, blow-em-up movie and I could enjoy my book and beautiful shore night view.

Vive la difference!

[ginpin]

My old house had both formal living and dining rooms, and it sucked!  I didn't have guests over enough to get much use out of them, plus it was two more rooms to clean/dust/vacuum.  My new little house is much easier to keep clean.

[Gardening Grandma]

May 25, 2014 11:39:25 GMT -5 Bonny said:

May 25, 2014 11:01:26 GMT -5 Ombud said:

Who needs a living room? Isn't that what the family room is for?

LOL, it's just DH and me and we "need" our separate spaces.

We have an elevated rancher with the upstairs being the main living area and the downstairs is the "man-cave", garage, laundry area and a 1/2 bath.

Last night was a good example. He could watch his boomy, blow-em-up movie and I could enjoy my book and beautiful shore night view.

Vive la difference!

Our house actually has three levels.  The main floor has the great room, kitchen, eating area, master bedroom, laundry.  It's "community space".  I have a loft upstairs for my computer desk and sewing room - "My space".  Dh has the downstairs with the guest room, the TV room, exercise room.  His computer is in the guest room.  He does whatever he wants down there and doesn't hassle me about the mess in my area.
When you are together 24x7, it's nice to have some personal space...

[❤ mollymouser ❤]

May 25, 2014 8:02:52 GMT -5 @athena53 said:

May 25, 2014 1:49:44 GMT -5 ❤ mollymouser ❤ said:

We have a formal dining room ~ it also gives the cats an excellent vantage point out the front window. It's also where we keep our lovely china cabinet, filled with lovely china, stemware and silverware that we never use. We've lived here 11+ years and I'm pretty sure we've only used it once.

Fortunately, DH and I never fell into the trap of buying formal china. My Ex brought 2 sets of china and one of sterling into the marriage and took them with him after we divorced. DH and I chose a sterling pattern together and we have 6 place settings. We do like to use it when we have guests. We're practical people and figured that if you drop china, it breaks and you have to replace it. Sterling is a lot more durable.

We didn't buy the formal china. One complete set was a wedding gift from my parents. Then when they died, I inherited another two sets. It's lovely ~ Lenox Autumn and Lenox Eternal. I think I'm too emotionally attached to it to "rehome" it to someone who might use it. (But maybe someday.)

As for me, I'm especially fond of paper plates!

[Bonny]

Gardening Grandma said:

When you are together 24x7, it's nice to have some personal space...

Amen, Sistah!

[thyme4change]

My dining room is open completely to the living room.  I have a big formal table there, but I put sleek leather chairs, so they don't look fancy or intimidating.  We use it often.  The 4 of us eat dinner there several times per week.  Our kitchen table is so small we really don't fit there, and there is no way we can do family style there.  So, we use the kitchen table for breakfast and have dinners at the dining room table.  We also eat there when we have company - which is often.  

But, the kicker with my dining room table is that we use it for everything else.  Homework, folding laundry, playing games, etc.  We use it for just about everything.  It is one of those often used spaces that make this house livable.  If we didn't have that, this place wouldn't really function.

[sesfw]

DH and his DW#1 built a new home in 1998 and it had a formal dining room. 3K ft ranch home, 4 bed, 3 1/2 bath, library, formal entry, large family room, large kitchen with breakfast table area.

Used the dining room twice a year, Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners.

This home has a one step down formal living room and the dining room is on the regular level. Seldom used.

But it's just the 2 of us.

[cronewitch]

I have a dinning room that is probably formal it seats 10 but only has 6 chairs. I use it when people come to play cards without leaves. I used to use it to put food on for Christmas Eve but everyone at in the living room. I served dinner on the table last week since I don't have a kitchen table. I normally am alone and eat at my desk in my den. My dining room is almost bare, table chairs and one antique curio cabinet that is empty. I am attempting minimalist.

[truthbound]

May 25, 2014 8:11:36 GMT -5 @singlemominmd said:

May 25, 2014 8:02:52 GMT -5 @athena53 said:

I wouldn't blame it on the politicians. The size of the average house has ballooned from the 1950s, when I was raised in a 3-BR, one bath ranch (with my parents and 4 siblings). Somehow in subsequent years people got the idea that it was child abuse to make kids share a bedroom. Builders got greedy. If you can make more money building a 4BR, 3 Bath McMansion on the property, why build a 3-BR, 2 Bath?  I'd say that house buyers are coming to their senses and the baby boomers are (mostly) realizing they don't need all that space.  There are some who entertain a lot and who have kids and grandkids visit and will want to keep a big house, but the rest of us are downsizing.

DH and I are thinking through this now.  I just retired and while we can afford the house we have, we'd like less to clean and maintain, and lower utility bills and property taxes.  If we get a place with a dining room it will be turned into an office.

Fortunately, DH and I never fell into the trap of buying formal china. My Ex brought 2 sets of china and one of sterling into the marriage and took them with him after we divorced. DH and I chose a sterling pattern together and we have 6 place settings. We do like to use it when we have guests. We're practical people and figured that if you drop china, it breaks and you have to replace it. Sterling is a lot more durable.

when I got married and the area I got married in, china, crystal and silver were standard shower/wedding gifts.  I use mine several times a year.

Yeah the politicians and their economy have something to do with it. That aside the builders didn't get greedy. The Buyers did. The builders just gave them what they wanted. They bought Mcmansions they couldn't afford then blamed Bush and the bankers.

[mamasita99]

I am a fan of formal dining rooms. We use the little table in the kitchen for breakfast during the week (since we all eat at different times) and the dining room is used for dinner, almost every night. It's the only place with room enough for all of us. Our old house used to have an island with four bar stools, but I still prefer to sit at a table.

[Deleted]

Or house, built in 2011, has a formal dining room.  We usually eat in the kitchen.  In fact, I can't remember just the two of us ever eating in the dining room.  We only use it when we have people over.  We have a large table that can fit 8 comfortably and 10 if needed.  It does come in handy for poker nights.

[alabamagal]

Originally house had formal dining room and small breakfast area.  We used breakfast area for most meals, dining room only for company.  When w added on, we enlarged breakfast room.

When kids were at home, I mostly used the dining room table as a laundry folding table.

[Deleted]

I forgot to mention, since this is socal, we eat outside on the patio a lot.