Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 22, 2015 7:51:36 GMT -5
laterbloomer did she come home to you tonight or run away as threatened? CAS arranged a "visit" with her mom, that will become a return once they do the paperwork.
This girl and the sisters I got last time were coming to me directly from their homes. In both cases they had reported the parents (grandparents in the sisters case) and asked to come into care. Both times we ended up finding out that their stories were not completely accurate. From what I am putting together with this last case, she was skipping a lot of school and guidance had her in to deal with it. She started spinning the sob story to make excuses for it and it escalated to the point she was accusing her mother of abuse. I do think her home life is dysfunctional but not in the way she was describing.
I think I played my part appropriately. They were safe while they were at my place but there was structure and boundaries. It wasn't the free for all they were hoping for. Now I am taking the summer off.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 22, 2015 8:30:51 GMT -5
It's hard to give up independence/autonomy once one has experienced it.
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shanendoah
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Post by shanendoah on May 22, 2015 9:58:48 GMT -5
laterbloomer - I think taking the summer off is a great plan. I think our plan is also to take a few months off after Cupcake is moved, and to decide if we really want a second one or not...
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on May 22, 2015 18:12:33 GMT -5
I think I played my part appropriately. They were safe while they were at my place but there was structure and boundaries. It wasn't the free for all they were hoping for. Now I am taking the summer off.
You played your part very well. You've earned the summer to yourself. Has GW moved out yet?
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Post by Deleted on May 22, 2015 19:52:48 GMT -5
GW is here at least until the end of June. She is being much better these days.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on May 23, 2015 17:49:08 GMT -5
GW is here at least until the end of June. She is being much better these days. Perhaps she doesn't like the drop ins? Just happy that GW is behaving better at present. That makes your life easier.
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shanendoah
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Post by shanendoah on Jun 10, 2015 16:42:31 GMT -5
Today we got the news that the best possible outcome for Cupcake's new placement is what is actually happening. She is going to be placed in the foster home with her brothers. So she's with her younger brothers, but in a foster home with someone who is already familiar with the family and the issues the kids have, meaning this should be long term solution.
This is a placement change that will meet her needs AND make her really happy. Which does take a lot of the guilt out of it for us, because we know this is a positive change for her.
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on Jun 10, 2015 16:44:20 GMT -5
Awesome news Shanen.
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Jun 10, 2015 17:05:05 GMT -5
Today we got the news that the best possible outcome for Cupcake's new placement is what is actually happening. She is going to be placed in the foster home with her brothers. So she's with her younger brothers, but in a foster home with someone who is already familiar with the family and the issues the kids have, meaning this should be long term solution.
This is a placement change that will meet her needs AND make her really happy. Which does take a lot of the guilt out of it for us, because we know this is a positive change for her. That sounds wonderful for Cupcake, shanen, and for your family, as well. So glad a proper placement was found!
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Jun 10, 2015 18:57:44 GMT -5
Today we got the news that the best possible outcome for Cupcake's new placement is what is actually happening. She is going to be placed in the foster home with her brothers. So she's with her younger brothers, but in a foster home with someone who is already familiar with the family and the issues the kids have, meaning this should be long term solution.
This is a placement change that will meet her needs AND make her really happy. Which does take a lot of the guilt out of it for us, because we know this is a positive change for her. That is great news for all involved, but especially for Cupcake.
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taz157
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Post by taz157 on Jun 10, 2015 19:31:41 GMT -5
Today we got the news that the best possible outcome for Cupcake's new placement is what is actually happening. She is going to be placed in the foster home with her brothers. So she's with her younger brothers, but in a foster home with someone who is already familiar with the family and the issues the kids have, meaning this should be long term solution.
This is a placement change that will meet her needs AND make her really happy. Which does take a lot of the guilt out of it for us, because we know this is a positive change for her. That is great news for all involved, but especially for Cupcake. When does she leave? Does she know yet? If so, how is she taking it? How about Pop Tart?
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shanendoah
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Post by shanendoah on Jun 10, 2015 20:39:16 GMT -5
C only briefly saw Cupcake today before a planned visit with her bio-mom and brothers. He did tell her she would be spending the weekend with her brothers, but he doesn't think it really sunk in. I'll talk to her a bit more about it when she gets home from the visit. Without knowing our plans, with the visits with her brothers becoming more regular, she had asked about living with her brothers and if we would be mad if she went to live with them. I think she will be sad to leave us, but this time it will feel more like her choice, and more like a positive change than her previous placement changes. She likes us and Pop Tart, but these are her little brothers, and she loves them and wants to live with them.
Pop Tart and I just had a conversation about it. She says she will miss Cupcake and admits she's a little jealous that Cupcake gets to go live with her siblings when Pop Tart does not get to live with hers. But hopefully by me straight out asking - how do you feel about this, and then us talking about it, she'll feel better able to talk about her feelings with us.
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shanendoah
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Post by shanendoah on Jun 10, 2015 20:40:30 GMT -5
And because I missed some of the questions. Cupcake will spend this weekend with her brothers. She will come back here for her last two days of school (Mon & Tues) and then will move in with her brothers/their foster mom on Tuesday evening.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 10, 2015 21:43:44 GMT -5
Tonight was GW's graduation ceremony. & She is looking for a place for August 1st. Sigh
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msventoux
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Post by msventoux on Jun 10, 2015 21:53:35 GMT -5
Tonight was GW's graduation ceremony. & She is looking for a place for August 1st. Sigh Congratulations to her...and you! You've done a phenomenal job with her.
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taz157
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Post by taz157 on Jun 11, 2015 5:10:31 GMT -5
Tonight was GW's graduation ceremony. & She is looking for a place for August 1st. Sigh Congratulations to her...and you! You've done a phenomenal job with her. Yeah that!
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marvholly
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Post by marvholly on Jun 11, 2015 5:51:42 GMT -5
Later Are you taking some time just for you or are you activly working for nother placement?
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Jun 11, 2015 5:55:50 GMT -5
Tonight was GW's graduation ceremony. & She is looking for a place for August 1st. Sigh It's darned hard to let go, isn't it? You've done so much for GW. Now, she's launching. Someday, you'll look back and smile with nostalgia. In the meantime, you'll fret.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 11, 2015 7:30:54 GMT -5
Later Are you taking some time just for you or are you activly working for nother placement? I have vacation plans for August and then I'm right into my busiest time at work so I'm not actively looking. We will see what happens though.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 11, 2015 9:53:57 GMT -5
Tonight was GW's graduation ceremony. & She is looking for a place for August 1st. Sigh Is she going to university locally then? That will be nice, so you can keep in touch, when she grows up a little more Girls will shed you for a while because they are being 'all grown up' but they do circle back eventually!!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 11, 2015 9:59:20 GMT -5
She will be in Toronto, not close enough to commute each day but not too far. We both have family there so we don't have to lose touch.
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shanendoah
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Post by shanendoah on Jun 12, 2015 0:03:45 GMT -5
laterbloomer - once again, congratulations to GW and to you for helping her to get there.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Jun 12, 2015 19:14:08 GMT -5
Tonight was GW's graduation ceremony. & She is looking for a place for August 1st. Sigh You have done such a great job with GW, whether or not she realizes it. She will someday.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Jun 12, 2015 19:15:33 GMT -5
And because I missed some of the questions. Cupcake will spend this weekend with her brothers. She will come back here for her last two days of school (Mon & Tues) and then will move in with her brothers/their foster mom on Tuesday evening. This sounds like your situation is going to work out for the best for both Pop Tart and Cupcake.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 20, 2015 12:45:23 GMT -5
GW finally found an apartment. She moves to a new city for August 1st. She found a basement apartment for her and her boyfriend for $950 all included, even laundry. If he moves out it goes to $850 for just her alone. He isn't even putting his name of the lease because he wants to keep our city his permanent address for car insurance purposes. At least that is what he is telling her. I've pointed out to her that is a major lack of commitment on his part. On the other hand if they split up the apartment is hers. I've agreed to cosign for her. I know the risks but she can't get an apartment without the help. I made it a condition that she call me at least once a week. And told her that I will be asking questions about her school marks and financial situation.
Mixed emotions. Proud of her, kind of liking the idea of having the house to myself, I'm going to miss her.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Jul 20, 2015 18:53:01 GMT -5
Of course you are going to miss her. GW and you have been a huge part of each others' lives. You did a great job with her!
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GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl
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Post by GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl on Jul 20, 2015 20:42:13 GMT -5
If it's any comfort, I have the very same feelings about ODS who will soon be 8 hours away...on a good day on 95. Well done, Later, well done.
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shanendoah
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Post by shanendoah on Jul 22, 2015 14:33:45 GMT -5
Thanks for the update, later. I was thinking about you and GW just the other day.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 31, 2015 9:06:53 GMT -5
The countdown is in hours now. She moves out tomorrow morning. Her mother has a truck and is taking her. Such mixed emotions.
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Jul 31, 2015 10:01:25 GMT -5
Aww, Later, I can imagine it's going to be bittersweet for you. You two have made such a difference in one another's lives.
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