raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Apr 17, 2014 12:33:52 GMT -5
I hate public speaking! Which I know I'm not alone in this. However, every month I do a class of some sort for clients. I'm not very good at it, and I do preface my presentation that I'm a #'s person (the reason for my presentation) and better with people one on one than a large group. It's on a very long list of things I would like to improve about myself but truthfully its not near the top. Although my volunteering gig does communication classes and I'll be a group leader so hopefully I'll be able to transfer some of those skills to work.
So how important is public speaking in your sphere? If it is important and you hate it like I do, what are your tips and tricks?
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Otto the Orange
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Post by Otto the Orange on Apr 17, 2014 12:37:11 GMT -5
just picture everyone naked, except not the dudes or the fat chicks.....that always works for me
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Apr 17, 2014 12:38:55 GMT -5
I'll say it before anyone else does. .. Toastmaster's. Which is a club where you do speeches and people in the group critique you. Right now public speaking isn't that important but it certainly is if I ever become a graduate student and is important if you are a PI. You can get away with not doing it ever, but you tend to end up forgotten as you gather dust in your lab. Being able to present and sell your research is very important if you want to keep getting grants. I'm probably pretty rusty right now but I used to be really good. I don't hate it, but I don't thrive on it either. One of my tricks was to rehearse rehearse rehearse till I could say what I needed to say with my eyes closed. I'm a lot more confident if I know my material inside and out. I also advise if you get nervous take a deep breath and pause. For the love of god do not fill the space with "um" "ahh" or "uhhh". It makes you sound like you don't know what you're doing and it also trips your brain into panic mode. I almost killed a graduate student who during his 10 minute presentation said "ummm" at least 20 times. It's like nails on a chalkboard.
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on Apr 17, 2014 12:39:53 GMT -5
I use to HATE public speaking. The first couple times I had to go to public meetings for work, I was so nervous that I shook. Now, I feel confident that I am the expert in the room on what I am talking about. That I know what I am talking about and doing. I feel like I can answer any questions thrown at me. It still isn't my favorite thing, but as long as I feel confident in myself, I am much better about public speaking. The other thing I started doing was singing at church. I got up the nerve about 6 years ago to sing a solo. I scared to death, but I practiced and practiced and just did it. Now, I still get a little nervous, but nothing like that first plunge. The 2 things in combination have really helped me out. I don't do a ton of public meetings right now, but the ones I go to I feel confident because I am confident in the work I have done.
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Apr 17, 2014 12:42:34 GMT -5
I am not great at it, but my boss has kind of forced me to become better. A year or so after I started here, I was doing two or three hour-long CLE presentations each week. Thankfully those days are no more, and the only public speaking I do is during a hearing (when the witness is usually the focal point).
One thing that really helped was when he told me, "You're the one talking about this because you know more about it than anyone else in the room. So why are you nervous?" And he had a point. Kind of a fake-it-til-you-make it thing.
Also - open with a joke. I'm a terrible joke-teller, but even just commenting about the weather, or how about those [sports team], or whatever else comes to mind. I am way too literal, despise small talk, and just want to get into the presentation without all the social niceties - but as much as I hate them, they do make a difference.
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on Apr 17, 2014 12:43:02 GMT -5
Add in "you know" in that list. That seems to be the filler of the year. We had a kid interview with us and he never finished a thought. He just kept saying "you know". I wanted to shake him, no we don't know. Tell us. Then I was listening to an interview of a back up quarterback in the NFL after he got a nice payday and he kept saying "you know".
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Apr 17, 2014 12:44:26 GMT -5
I hate it, but by the time I stepped out of my profession I was getting better at it. While my boss was a WONDERFUL public speaker, he could talk anyone out of their trousers, I was pretty bad at first.
I started out scripting everything I wanted to say during a presentation....even pauses to discuss a particular point. Towards the end, I was able to work much less on the script and was veering away from it, especially to make points more clear.
But Drama is only partially right for herself. If she can convince her boss to allow her to go to national meetings in order to gain experience, she does NOT need to be a graduate student to do so, and it will benefit her if she does become a graduate student. I don't know how many graduate students I have talked to at research meetings who cannot put a coherent sentence together, even at a poster session. I've also seen some VERY bad presentations. Most people don't fall into it easily and it becomes better with practice.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 17, 2014 12:44:29 GMT -5
Speech was the LAST class I took in college. Years of upper level math and biology, but I saved speech until the summer session when I was 34 years old...
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souldoubt
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Post by souldoubt on Apr 17, 2014 12:51:35 GMT -5
I used to get nervous whenever I had to make a speech and to make it even worse after I got out of school I started having mild anxiety issues which carried over to the last time I made a speech which was as a best man. I'm told I do/did fine aside from talking somewhat fast but in that moment last time around it was pretty bad as far as the anxiety goes. I've thought about joining toastmasters and probably should but just haven't gotten around to it. For my job we have meetings all the time and I talk to groups of people without any issues and don't really think twice about it. I'm an accountant and an introvert and don't ever envision myself giving speeches to large groups but I should work on those skills none the less.
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Tiny
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Post by Tiny on Apr 17, 2014 13:28:07 GMT -5
I hate 'public speaking'. I don't have to do it (maybe once every couple of years). I can't do it on the spur of the moment. I have taking 'public speaking' courses numerous times and rely heavily on what I learned in them when I do need to address a crowd.
I think there are two aspects to public speaking. First is the 'being the center of everyone's attention' part and the second is 'knowing how to construct a 'speech' for the audience you are adressing'. I think the MOST important part is the second part - if you know what you want to say and how you are going to say it (and maybe you've practiced a few times before hand) - you are good to go.
I can easily overlook someone who's uncomfortable in front of the crowd BUT obviously has a well thought out 'prepared' presentation. I tend to feel a bit of negative emotions towards the speakers who didn't prepare (didn't consider their 'target audience' for example) regardless of their level of comfort while in the spotlight. I suspect I'm not alone in this.
I've found that the more I focus on what it is I want to say to the crowd and how I want to do it the less I focus on how 'uncomfortable' I am in front of the crowd. Or maybe it's just the built up confidence that "I've done this before and survived AND managed to be successful doing it... so the 'butterflies' aren't as big a problem as I make them out to be.'
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Apr 17, 2014 13:30:18 GMT -5
I have talked to at research meetings who cannot put a coherent sentence together, even at a poster session
That reminds me of the rants my former boss would get on every time he came back from a speaking trip. His biggest beef was PIs that are as experienced as he is still could not talk their way out of a paper bag or develop a coherent poster.
If you can have them index cards with your main bullet points can help. Don't print the entire speech b/c you'll be tempted to read from the cards. Bullet points are something you can glance down at quickly and regain your train of thought.
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souldoubt
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Post by souldoubt on Apr 17, 2014 13:38:14 GMT -5
I hate 'public speaking'. I don't have to do it (maybe once every couple of years). I can't do it on the spur of the moment. I have taking 'public speaking' courses numerous times and rely heavily on what I learned in them when I do need to address a crowd. I think there are two aspects to public speaking. First is the 'being the center of everyone's attention' part and the second is 'knowing how to construct a 'speech' for the audience you are adressing'. I think the MOST important part is the second part - if you know what you want to say and how you are going to say it (and maybe you've practiced a few times before hand) - you are good to go. Both great points. I've worded it exactly the same way to someone else saying I don't like being the center of attention but preparation is definitely the key. To me one of my biggest hurdles day to day at work is making sure I don't go off in accountant speak when talking to someone who doesn't have my background. It's not a matter of talking down to someone else it's a matter of me being able to convey the message or answer the question in a way they'll understand.
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Artemis Windsong
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Post by Artemis Windsong on Apr 17, 2014 13:51:08 GMT -5
I was a newbie at Toast masters and foolishly mentioned it in a club I was in. Wham, I was giving workshops on how to write speeches before I could say no way. I was gullible and not firm in NO. One of the women went on to be the president of the club and credited me with removing her fears.
I still don't like being in front of people speaking. I would wear a hat when reading at church services, which eased that. I stopped when I was still in mid-stage fright and someone walked up to me expecting to be greeted by name and I couldn't remember it. Rather than saying their name when seeing my confusion, the person said you better review your member directory.
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greeniis10
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Post by greeniis10 on Apr 17, 2014 13:55:19 GMT -5
I personally dislike it so I'm glad I don't have to do it for my job. However, I was raised in a very strict religion and while I disagreed with the teachings and got out of it the minute I was able, I did receive some benefits from it and one of those benefits was the expectation of public speaking from a very early age.
Children were not separated from the adults during worship (ever) so we were taught from day 1 to sit still, pay attention, behave, etc. When kids were old enough to speak words (and have a very basic understanding of what they were saying) participation in bible discussions with the entire congration was the norm. We were also regularly given a topic, a partner (could be any other congregant, regardless of age) and 5 minutes to discuss the topic with the other person in front of the congregation. I sure hated it as a kid, but it really did help me not be so terrified of public speaking in school and afterwards. I'm not great at it, but it was a part of my childhood that was taken for granted initially, but later was grateful for.
I agree with the others, though: practice, practice, practice and be confident with your topic.
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movingforward
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Post by movingforward on Apr 17, 2014 13:55:35 GMT -5
Well, not to toot my own horn (honk, honk) but I am pretty good at public speaking... I have been asked to speak at a couple of continuing education conferences in my field, lead round table discussions, etc. I want to get a whole lot better though so I am joining Toastmasters after my trip to Ireland. In order to move up where I am being a good public speaker is necessary so making an effort to get even better at it should help me in the future. I would love to be a dynamic speaker but not sure I will ever make it to that level.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 17, 2014 14:08:20 GMT -5
I think it held me back in my career in that I had to speak to public officials at meetings and froze every time. I could sit down and write a 12 page report, but speak............. no way. If I had it to do over, I would have addressed this early on
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Apr 17, 2014 14:23:05 GMT -5
If you can have them index cards with your main bullet points can help. Don't print the entire speech b/c you'll be tempted to read from the cards. Bullet points are something you can glance down at quickly and regain your train of thought.
That really may not be sufficient for some, it was not me. When I had to give my first talk at an international meeting, I was so scared that half of what I wanted to say went out of my head. Because of this, I finished waaaay sooner than I was supposed to and left me open for more questions. I tried to BS my way out of one of the question, when in reality I should have said that the pathologist was the one that chose the patients (I knew the criteria that he used, but he made the decision) and categorized them. The scientist who identified the condition I was talking on was in the audience and he wanted to know why the pathologist chose those particular criteria, and I had no idea. I felt like a worm with a pin stuck through me!
Next time, I had an exact script. I had practiced it so much, it was almost memorized so I didn't read it, only glancing down and spent most of the time looking at the audience.
What's worse though, IMO is when someone reads directly from the power point slides. I hate that.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Apr 17, 2014 14:25:53 GMT -5
What's worse though, IMO is when someone reads directly from the power point slides. I hate thatEven better is when they use a laser pointer to follow the words on the screen while reading from it. Some people make me want to drink.
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Sam_2.0
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Post by Sam_2.0 on Apr 17, 2014 14:32:49 GMT -5
I used to HATE it. But honestly, I am more comfortable talking in front of a crowd of 300 than I am 1:1 with someone I don't know. I wanted out of our call center so badly I applied to be a trainer. Since I was good at my job and had a teaching background I got the training job. The first few classes I was so scared, but then I realized (like Mid said before) that I was the "expert" and it got a lot easier. Now I have to present in front of community fairs and events which is easy because it's just me talking. No one can really ask questions or interact to throw me off track The times when I have to testify in court are scary as heck but I think that's just because I have been sworn in before a judge.
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wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on Apr 17, 2014 14:33:59 GMT -5
I used to hate it but through practice I got better. I had a week long class on interviewing and presentation skills last year. The instructor was very pleased with me. The only thing I wouldn't want to do in my current job is Congressional testimony. That would still scare the sh!t out of me.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 17, 2014 15:15:48 GMT -5
I teach English at a prestigious 5Y MBA program (mainly undergrads). Rae, it is REALLY, REALLY important.
Last year my school added a (mandatory) debating class to the second-year English curriculum. It is the ONLY English class where the students' level of English doesn't really matter (as long as we can understand you, which is the case with with 98% of our students). Instead, you are marked on your presentation, organization, arguments, voice, eye contact, repartee, body language, use of humor, etc.
Today was the last day of my semester. I had two "final debates" today. LITERALLY EVERY SINGLE STUDENT came up to me to personally thank me for what THEY tell me is "the single most important class they have taken in their two years" at the school.
That may floor you, believe me, it used to floor me too. But I've been teaching that (mandatory) one-semester class for two years now, so I've gotten (somewhat) used to that reaction.
I REALLY want to do Toastmasters but there is only one in English here, it's 1h away, and it finishes at 11 pm the night before I have to get up at 6. But I really really hope to do it one day, even if it's when I've retired. It's probably the one thing on my retirement bucket list besides more travel LOL.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 17, 2014 15:27:20 GMT -5
Other thing: I teach just one Masters course, a remedial English course for incoming foreign students who are only doing their Masters at my school, they've already done their Bachelors degrees elsewhere. If they are in my class, it's because their level of English is lower than it should be (compared to our "regular" Masters students).
It's a "trial by fire" to get them up to the level they should be at in one semester. Obviously we do grammar and vocab. But whatever we do, they do presentations, presentations, and more presentations. Both individual presentations and group presentations.
Most of these students are from North Africa, Africa, Southeast Asia, and the Stans, occasionally other European countries (Greece or Poland). They are Masters students, and yet THEY HAVE NEVER ONCE SPOKEN IN PUBLIC UNTIL THEY GET INTO MY CLASS. AS MASTERS STUDENTS!!!
The French students start speaking in public for the first time in 11th grade, when they do their FIRST GROUP PROJECT, and they have to present it to a jury.
Contrast that with the US / UK students who start to speak in public at 4 or 5, THE FIRST TIME THEY EVER DO SHOW AND TELL, in either nursery school, or kindergarten. I have understood over time that doing "show and tell" = public speaking! Seriously!
Also, Rae, do you know about TED Talks? You should watch Amy Cuddy's talk on Body Language.
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Apr 17, 2014 15:30:40 GMT -5
The only task where I have to do public speaking is when I train radiation workers. I have to do classesa few times a year.
I can't say I really enjoy it, but I don't dread it either. I don't think I do a fantastic job, but I haven't really had anyone complain much either, so I guess I do a servicable job.
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movingforward
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Post by movingforward on Apr 17, 2014 15:33:10 GMT -5
Same thing happened to me the first time I spoke at a conference. To make things worse my co-presenter finished WAY early (she later told me she never timed anything) so when I got up to speak I was already feeling the pressure of filling her unused time. That made me even more nervous and I ended up forgetting some of the points I planned to make (along with the examples). It actually ended up working out well though because we had a lot of audience participation which ate up a lot of the time. I have gotten a lot better since then and like to incorporate group exercises within the audience. I figure no one wants to listen to me for that long anyway
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Apr 17, 2014 15:34:20 GMT -5
LITERALLY EVERY SINGLE STUDENT came up to me to personally thank me for what THEY tell me is "the single most important class they have taken in their two years" at the school
I've thanked in person and mentally my HS drama/speech coach a thousand times over. I used to have crippling stage fright, to the point of nearly passing out. He made me work on it till I could talk in public with ease.
It wasn't fun at the time and resulted in a few tears but it's paid off big time since. When I did my research presentation in college the professor who handed out the scholarships came up to me and complimented me on my speaking skills.
He sat in the back on purpose b/c he wanted to see who could communicate to more than just those right in front of them. I was the only one he could hear. He also picked up that I whacked the screen with my pointer on purpose. We were one of the last ones to present and I noticed people starting to chit chat/play on their phones. So I smacked the screen a little harder than I needed to. I paid attention during your speech you can pay attention during mine.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 17, 2014 15:37:50 GMT -5
Drama it's funny you mentioned that! I do improv in that class too. These students also have a theater / improv class. They thanked me for my improv work in my debating class, and told me "your improvs are relevant, the improv class is not". I am really curious about why, but I haven't yet figured out how / what to ask to be diplomatic and get the answer. I tell them, the point of theater / improv / debating is to get you to learn how to think on your feet. They agree. But my improvs are relevant, whereas the actors' are not? LOL
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 17, 2014 15:47:05 GMT -5
I can't say I really enjoy it, but I don't dread it either. I don't think I do a fantastic job, but I haven't really had anyone complain much either, so I guess I do a servicable job.
Phoenix, if you have to do it, don't you want to learn to do it better? Just a question, because that's how I feel. I'm not a trained teacher and I know I still have a lot to learn.
ETA: I just googled "Paris Toastmasters" again and remembered why I'm not doing it. There were 12 groups before, now there are 13. I don't have the time or patience to wade through that.
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alabamagal
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Post by alabamagal on Apr 17, 2014 19:50:35 GMT -5
I had a position where I had to get up and talk in front of a group weekly. At first I dreaded it, but the longer I did it, the more comfortable (and better at it I got). Hopefully you will get to a point where you will get more and more comfortable.
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Knee Deep in Water Chloe
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Post by Knee Deep in Water Chloe on Apr 17, 2014 20:44:53 GMT -5
In my work, it is exceptionally important. I hated its hike I went to college. I can speak in front of any size group now.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Apr 18, 2014 7:20:06 GMT -5
Im a trial attorney. Public speaking is really important.
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