Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Mar 18, 2014 16:54:30 GMT -5
Pat-you might want to tell her doctor ahead of time about her wanting to renew her DL. It may be better coming from her doctor than her son or you that she should no longer be driving.
The loss of individual mobility (driving cars) is a big negative for some seniors to accept.
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Mar 18, 2014 19:14:06 GMT -5
Has she been diagnosed with Alzheimer's, pat? If not, she really needs to see her doctor and find out what's going on. There are medications that can slow the process down, but the doc has to know what's going on to be able to try to help.
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truthbound
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Post by truthbound on May 14, 2014 4:17:27 GMT -5
Has she been diagnosed with Alzheimer's, pat? If not, she really needs to see her doctor and find out what's going on. There are medications that can slow the process down, but the doc has to know what's going on to be able to try to help. No she just can't see anymore. IF she can't she shouldn't be driving.
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mollyanna58
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Post by mollyanna58 on May 23, 2014 10:36:39 GMT -5
Glad to hear she's doing better.
I know your daughter has her own severe issues, but could she help in the campaign to get grandma to eat? Would it be possible to drop your daughter off for a few hours and they can keep each other company?
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mollyanna58
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Post by mollyanna58 on May 23, 2014 12:16:38 GMT -5
Yes, it wouldn't help if visits just reinforce poor eating habits. Sorry, no other suggestions. Just wishing you good luck and please vent here all you need.
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mollyanna58
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Post by mollyanna58 on May 31, 2014 3:32:08 GMT -5
I'm always impressed by how much work you put in.
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The Captain
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Post by The Captain on May 31, 2014 9:31:02 GMT -5
Pat - as always you amaze me with your grace and fortitude. Also have to add...if you just read the title of the thread in the right mood, it's damn funny! Yes, you have enough on your plate with DD - what are the Adult only living options in your area? In mine we have various types of aging in place options (not cheap but doable on SS and a small pension). You may want to see if MIL may like to have some company and "visit" one. Good luck with everything.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 31, 2014 21:29:26 GMT -5
"plus a funnel cake" So jealous.
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Blonde Granny
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Post by Blonde Granny on Jun 9, 2014 8:07:44 GMT -5
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Jun 9, 2014 16:10:57 GMT -5
I told my husband about all the money she had, he said she has likely hidden it and forgotten. I swear we will have to go through that house piece by piece when she finally passes on.
Anyway another day in the saga. Good Night Pat-my dad used to do all the banking for my grandmother, included drawing out cash from her bank for her when she asked for some spending money. My grandmother would then put it away and immediately forget where she placed it. She once told her other son (my uncle) that though she loved my dad, he was stealing her spending money. Of course all the 'stolen' money was found in various hiding places when my dad and uncle cleared out her home.
It happens.
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Opti
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Post by Opti on Jun 9, 2014 16:47:04 GMT -5
Pat, luckily my Mom was willing to hand over her checkbook early on.
You are at the beginning of the deep end I thnk. She may fight you about the doctor thing even if it gets worse. My Mom got fat and thenthin because she couldn't remember if she ate. People are at high risk of dehydration which can lead to UTIs and other nasty stuff.
Good luck.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 9, 2014 17:50:13 GMT -5
Honey, she shouldn't be driving. I know it hurts, but she just should not be behind a wheel...
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mollyanna58
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Post by mollyanna58 on Jun 9, 2014 20:04:39 GMT -5
You can probably go to the bank's website and sign up online.
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mollyanna58
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Post by mollyanna58 on Jun 10, 2014 7:33:02 GMT -5
Maybe she just wants be out and about, and asked the neighbor. She may not want to do anything other than get out of the house.
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Opti
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Post by Opti on Jun 10, 2014 14:19:24 GMT -5
You need to take the car. If she can't remember things, its going to happen when she's out on the road. My Mom once drove to my sister's and then just sat in the driveway. Then another time she got lost trying to go home. These are the less scary possibilities. The worst is she may forget something at the wrong time and injure or kill herself and others.
She's 91, starting to lose her mental acuity. Giving her logical answers is a trap especially when she references her past or comes up with other schemes.
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Blonde Granny
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Post by Blonde Granny on Jun 10, 2014 15:04:24 GMT -5
Pat, that really is the issue, it would be so much easier if it were your Mom. Unfortunately, you're in a difficult spot his your DH is not home much of the time. It's possible that the next time he's back, you may have to put your foot down, and sternly tell him that he must do something before someone gets hurt or dies in an accident that is her fault.
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ners
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Post by ners on Aug 4, 2014 6:04:08 GMT -5
Hugs and prayers.
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Jaguar
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Post by Jaguar on Aug 7, 2014 14:09:59 GMT -5
Well my sister Cindy who has Dementia got stopped by the police while out driving. Her doctor called her and said a driver must be in the car with her when ever she drives. So they don't trust her now......I could have told them she drives erratically about two years ago. I haven't gotten into a car with her since last Labor Day.
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Blonde Granny
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Post by Blonde Granny on Aug 7, 2014 14:27:42 GMT -5
Pat, I can only imagine what you are going through. It might be appropriate for you to take a little trip during this time to recharge and rest. Leave MIL at home and DD where she is. It's extremely difficult being the caregiver for one let alone two.
It's also OK to rethink retirement for your DH, sometimes the caregiver needs a caregiver too.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Aug 7, 2014 14:31:33 GMT -5
Pat-maybe it is time for your husband to retire. Having to take care of your daughter and your MIL is at least two person operation. All caretakers need relief.
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The Captain
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Post by The Captain on Aug 7, 2014 15:26:26 GMT -5
Pat - have you given any thought to getting your daughter on a list for a group home?
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Jaguar
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Post by Jaguar on Aug 7, 2014 17:34:00 GMT -5
Well my sister Cindy who has Dementia got stopped by the police while out driving. Her doctor called her and said a driver must be in the car with her when ever she drives. So they don't trust her now......I could have told them she drives erratically about two years ago. I haven't gotten into a car with her since last Labor Day.
This happened a couple weeks ago, her daughter knows already and took Cindy to see the Doctor over a week ago. Cindy is having dementia flashbacks, she losses track of time.
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Jaguar
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Post by Jaguar on Aug 7, 2014 20:04:17 GMT -5
Well my sister Cindy who has Dementia got stopped by the police while out driving. Her doctor called her and said a driver must be in the car with her when ever she drives. So they don't trust her now......I could have told them she drives erratically about two years ago. I haven't gotten into a car with her since last Labor Day.
This happened a couple weeks ago, her daughter knows already and took Cindy to see the Doctor over a week ago. Cindy is having dementia flashbacks, she losses track of time.
Holy hell the police weren't involved at all.......I just called Cindy's daughter there was no police involved at all. It was just DD took Cindy to see the Dr and it was decided that Cindy needed another driver in the car when she drives.
Cindy needed a whole drama to explain it to me, she even got angry with the cops and Dr while telling me all about it.
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Opti
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Post by Opti on Aug 7, 2014 20:25:46 GMT -5
Pat-maybe it is time for your husband to retire. Having to take care of your daughter and your MIL is at least two person operation. All caretakers need relief. Agreed, in part because your husband won't really know and understand how bad it is with either your MIL or DD until he's there day after day, week after week to see and live it.
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Opti
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Post by Opti on Aug 7, 2014 20:29:28 GMT -5
This happened a couple weeks ago, her daughter knows already and took Cindy to see the Doctor over a week ago. Cindy is having dementia flashbacks, she losses track of time.
Holy hell the police weren't involved at all.......I just called Cindy's daughter there was no police involved at all. It was just DD took Cindy to see the Dr and it was decided that Cindy needed another driver in the car when she drives.
Cindy needed a whole drama to explain it to me, she even got angry with the cops and Dr while telling me all about it.
It gets like that. Remember to verify through another family member when possible. The explanations and stories can get interesting.
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Jaguar
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Post by Jaguar on Aug 8, 2014 0:28:50 GMT -5
@patstab
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Jaguar
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Post by Jaguar on Aug 21, 2014 20:32:00 GMT -5
Cindy is having a really awful time and she knows something is wrong. She had a disagreement with her DH this morning over her pills. She had taken them earlier and she had forgotten about taking them. Then she went and tried taken them again. Her DH caught her. See she has the blister packs and he knows if she's taken them or not.
I don't know why, but I see Cindy fading and fast. She's lost weight although I know she eats.
Something ain't right, that's my feeling.
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Jaguar
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Post by Jaguar on Aug 26, 2014 16:28:01 GMT -5
Cindy has snuck the car out, BIL told me she done this last week. Now she brought it up again today with BIL that she's taking the car out. He told her she can't drive without another driver in the car with her.
She's walked out, no purse with her, but we don't know if she has any money or not. She has her keys.
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Jaguar
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Post by Jaguar on Aug 26, 2014 16:37:49 GMT -5
She's home.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Aug 26, 2014 21:15:06 GMT -5
@patstab and Jaguar: Sensors let Alzheimer's patients stay at home, safely(CNN) -- Mary Lou doesn't know that she's being tracked. The 77-year-old is in the middle stages of Alzheimer's and though she lives on her own, her family keeps close tabs on her. If she leaves her Washington D.C. home between 9 p.m. and 6 a.m., a silent sensor on her front door texts her daughter an alert. There is a sensor on each of Mary Lou's two key chains that detects when she goes outside her condo's grounds. A motion sensor in the kitchen helps monitor her eating habits, and another in the bedroom notes when she wakes up in the morning and catches any sleeping issues. There is even a flood sensor in the laundry room. All the sensors are made by SmartThings and relay the information back to a small wireless hub. Her two daughters, who act as her caretakers, can monitor it all on a smartphone app and set up special notifications. "It's kept her to the point where we haven't even had to have in-home care yet. Our goal is to keep her in her home for as long as possible," said her daughter Cathy Johnson. Rest of article here: Sensors let Alzheimer's patients stay at home, safely
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