Feeling Unsettled

[resolution]

DH's employer has been on shaky financial ground for a number of years. I believe I mentioned here in the past when they withheld our retirement and kept it instead of depositing it, kept our HSA money and didn't pay the insurance premiums, resulting in no insurance when we needed it. They have also stopped paying their vendors until the vendor refuses to supply any additional orders. They currently owe us around $10,000 which they wrote us a letter with a payment plan two weeks ago.

I have been after DH for some time to look for another job, but he loves the work he does and this is the only employer in the area that offers that type of work. He finally agreed to look for another job, even though it means we have to move out of the area. I told him I would move anywhere for his new job as long as it was warmer, and had two bathrooms. I just want him to be happy and not feeling upset and ripped off every day at work. I was kind of expecting to end up in VA or NC, which are the main areas for his industry.

He submitted a resume for a job through a headhunter and had a job offer the following week, which he turned down because the area was too expensive for the pay (NoVA). The next week had a phone interview in a nice, affordable area, but he declined the follow up interview because the job itself wasn't what he wanted. This week he had an interview with an outfit in Hawaii, basically everything that he wants in a job, good hours, and the housing is not as horrible as we thought ($250k-$300k for an acceptable house). 

I am feeling totally excited and uneasy about the whole Hawaii idea. He has never even been there and I have been there just a few times. I told him that if the next interview goes well, we would need to fly out there and look around before he made any decisions. My job is telecommute but I don't know if it would survive the time zone change, however I qualify for a few job opportunities that are being advertised on the same island.

So if this all panned out we would be leaving our MCOLA and moving to a HCOLA probably without much of an increase in income. My living standard would go down but we could rent an apartment the first year to see if we liked it and then shop for a house. Right now looking out the window at piles of snow and dead looking trees, I think it would be totally worth it. But I was feeling anxious and couldn't sleep last night. I am not sure if this is reasonable or crazy. At any rate, I feel like everything is upside down right now and not my normal calm self. 

[The Captain]

Change is always unsettling but can be good.

My brother has a condo in Hawaii and describes it as heaven on earth.  You may be surprised to discover that you will consider your standard of living to improve.  He plans to retire there full time when he gets a bit older.

Good luck!

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I'm jealous! What a potential opportunity for you guys.

IMO if it's something you and DH want to do then take the leap.

It beats him working for an employer that's ripping him off.  He's sitting on a time bomb, far better for him to jump ship now than end up going down with it.

[milee]

There are worse problems to have than trying to come to grips with a good job offer in Hawaii.  

Power through.  You can do this. 

[milee]

On a more serious note, though, the situation with DH's employer sounds very dire. See if there's some way he can accelerate the payments due to him before he gives notice. Once he gives notice, they will not have the same incentive to pay him off and they'll stop paying him like all the other creditors. Technically, I believe in BK law employees are a higher priority for payment than other creditors, but you don't want to wait until it gets to that point or have to rely on that. See what DH can do to light a bigger fire now.

[tloonya]

Feb 19, 2014 12:45:29 GMT -5 resolution said:

I am feeling totally excited and uneasy about the whole Hawaii idea. He has never even been there and I have been there just a few times. I told him that if the next interview goes well, we would need to fly out there and look around before he made any decisions. My job is telecommute but I don't know if it would survive the time zone change, however I qualify for a few job opportunities that are being advertised on the same island.

So if this all panned out we would be leaving our MCOLA and moving to a HCOLA probably without much of an increase in income. My living standard would go down but we could rent an apartment the first year to see if we liked it and then shop for a house. Right now looking out the window at piles of snow and dead looking trees, I think it would be totally worth it. But I was feeling anxious and couldn't sleep last night. I am not sure if this is reasonable or crazy. At any rate, I feel like everything is upside down right now and not my normal calm self. 

Mind me asking...what salary supposed to be offered for family to move to HAWAII?

[Wisconsin Beth]

BEth looks out her window at sunny snowbanks and pretends their sandy beaches with warm breezes (instead of the cold coming out of my heat ducts), birds singing/squawking, etc.  Aaaaahhh. 

[Bonny]

Moving long distances can be both scary and fun.

Do you own your house? I kept ours when we moved from the SF Bay Area to AZ. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to take the heat (60 degree summers to 115 degrees ) and was afraid we would get priced out of the SF Bay Area if we sold.

When we moved to Germany we also kept our AZ house because we bought that house for retirement and planned to move back at some point.

I'm surprised that your DH turned down No. VA for price and HI was acceptable.

The only thing I can add is that we have a lot of folks in my town who have HI connections. One thing you need to prepare for is "Island Fever" kinda like "Cabin Fever" in that the islands are basically small towns. Plan on making trips to the Mainland at least once a year.

I think you'll have a ball. Enjoy it while you can!

[NancysSummerSip]

i congratulate you, Resolution, for showing fortitude on this. It's not easy to face what you are facing and realize there are some challenges and huge changes to get both what you need and what you want. If every poster who came to the board with even a fraction of this dilemma was as brave as you....well, what fun would that be?

[HoneyBBQ]

I would love to live in Hawaii..... for a short while (<5 yrs). It definitely sounds like an opportunity for you guys. Can I come visit?

[justme]

<<Puts Hawaii on list of places to look for a new job>>

[Rocky Mtn Saver]

Feb 19, 2014 12:50:32 GMT -5 milee said:

There are worse problems to have than trying to come to grips with a good job offer in Hawaii.  

Power through.  You can do this. 

  too true, too true! 

[resolution]

Feb 19, 2014 12:52:47 GMT -5 milee said:

On a more serious note, though, the situation with DH's employer sounds very dire. See if there's some way he can accelerate the payments due to him before he gives notice. Once he gives notice, they will not have the same incentive to pay him off and they'll stop paying him like all the other creditors. Technically, I believe in BK law employees are a higher priority for payment than other creditors, but you don't want to wait until it gets to that point or have to rely on that. See what DH can do to light a bigger fire now.

I didn't expect to ever see any of the money, so the one payment that we have gotten on it was a surprise. The letter itself was the result of him having a confrontation with them, so at least our position has improved that we have a signed agreement from them that they owe us the money. However I doubt we will see all of it whether we stay or go.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

But I was feeling anxious and couldn't sleep last night. I am not sure if this is reasonable or crazy. At any rate, I feel like everything is upside down right now and not my normal calm self.

Totally normal. I've moved 4x for my professional career and each time I moved, I knew it was the right thing to do but I still felt anxious about it. Everything IS upside down, because you are looking at moving to a totally new place and having to restart life all over. You need to learn a whole lot of new things and you cannot fall back on the old and comfortable.

There are a lot of things that you need to make decisions about, and just needing to make so many in so short a time can get overwhelming. My suggestion is to take it one step at a time. Lists are a good thing.

[Sum Dum Gai]

My brother just got back from 3.5 years in Hawaii at the end of last year. They enjoyed their stay. Visiting family is tough as just getting back to the mainland is a fairly long flight. He was starting to get a bit twitchy toward the end. The first thing he said he wanted to do when he got back is take a road trip. Being able to drive for an hour in a straight line instead of a circle was apparently a pretty good feeling.

[resolution]

Feb 19, 2014 12:54:52 GMT -5 tloonya said:

Mind me asking...what salary supposed to be offered for family to move to HAWAII?

It's not a whole lot, which is why I am a bit nervous about the whole thing. He currently makes 50K and they would give him a bump in pay but we don't know how much. They would also offer moving assistance, but we don't know exactly what that means. Nothing is final or settled, this is another small employer and they are still discussing things with no decisions made.

I make 45k at my telecommute job, so we would be fine in one of the many apartments that rent for $1200 a month but the 250k house would be more than what we are used to paying.

[resolution]

Thank you all for the replies, you are making me feel a little less crazy and out of control.

[resolution]

Feb 19, 2014 12:56:58 GMT -5 Bonny said:

Moving long distances can be both scary and fun.

Do you own your house? I kept ours when we moved from the SF Bay Area to AZ. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to take the heat (60 degree summers to 115 degrees ) and was afraid we would get priced out of the SF Bay Area if we sold.

When we moved to Germany we also kept our AZ house because we bought that house for retirement and planned to move back at some point.

I'm surprised that your DH turned down No. VA for price and HI was acceptable.

The only thing I can add is that we have a lot of folks in my town who have HI connections. One thing you need to prepare for is "Island Fever" kinda like "Cabin Fever" in that the islands are basically small towns. Plan on making trips to the Mainland at least once a year.

I think you'll have a ball. Enjoy it while you can!

We own two houses right now. I kept my house in my home state when I moved here, it is rented out through a property managment company and I would keep it as a rental. Our current house I would want to sell. It isn't suitable to rent because the water source is a cistern and I would worry about the liability if someone left the lid off and a kid fell in.

We have about 90k equity in the current residence, so if we sold and got to keep 80k I would have to stash it somewhere while we rented and figured out if we wanted to buy something there.

ETA The specific area of NoVA we couldn't find anything that would fit our needs under 400k within a 45 min drive of the job. Even the business owner lived an hour away. This Hawaii one there are some 250k and 300k houses for sale within 10 minutes of the job. However I might have still vetoed it if it hadn't been -5 degrees out when we discussed the job opening.

[Deleted]

Feb 19, 2014 13:11:29 GMT -5 Ratchets said:

I agree that the employer sounds like they're going to go under at any moment.

Everybody we know who has lived in Hawaii has LOVED it. But, I imagine most people who get stationed there ask for it, so they know what they're looking for. I can agree with the poster who mentioned "island fever," it definitely started during a two year assignment inthe Azores.

Another thing to consider in your budget is the higher cost of living. Not just inthe housing, but also things like groceries. I don't have any specific examples, but people do mention it a lot who have been there.

Locals get to buy groceries for a whole lot less than tourists do... a whole lot less.   

[souldoubt]

A move to Hawaii could add 10 years to both your lives.  I've never worked there but know people who did and for some of them it was a culture shock going from a fast paced lifestyle to being on island time because some of their employees and/or co-workers were super laid back, i.e. some might say lazy.  I've been to 2 of the 4 main islands and we've been joking about moving to Kauai or the big island after our last trip.  Real estate is pretty reasonable in some spots but depending on where you go you may have to be ready for a mad rush of tourists.  Anyways my Hawaii drooling aside seems like getting out of the current employer situation is the best thing to do.   

[sarcasticgirl]

you'll need a guest room to host YMers!

How exciting (and nerve wracking at the same time!) 

As another poster mentioned... with locations such as the islands, the quality of life can be so much better. And while the cost of living may be higher, there are a lot of activities outdoors that are low/no cost that replace activities you would opt for in snow covered locals. 

also... can i come too?

[Bonny]

Feb 19, 2014 13:11:29 GMT -5 Ratchets said:

I agree that the employer sounds like they're going to go under at any moment.

Everybody we know who has lived in Hawaii has LOVED it. But, I imagine most people who get stationed there ask for it, so they know what they're looking for. I can agree with the poster who mentioned "island fever," it definitely started during a two year assignment inthe Azores.

Another thing to consider in your budget is the higher cost of living. Not just inthe housing, but also things like groceries. I don't have any specific examples, but people do mention it a lot who have been there.

The COLA is an odd thing. When we were in Kauai in November we shopped at Costco. Many prices were the same as what we saw in our local Costco. I do remember seeing the price of their bag of Romaine lettuce being more than twice as much.

Heating costs will be a lot less. Gas, housing and cars are more.

[tloonya]

Feb 19, 2014 13:12:29 GMT -5 souldoubt said:

A move to Hawaii could add 10 years to both your lives.  I've never worked there but know people who did and for some of them it was a culture shock going from a fast paced lifestyle to being on island time because some of their employees and/or co-workers were super laid back, i.e. some might say lazy.  I've been to 2 of the 4 main islands and we've been joking about moving to Kauai or the big island after our last trip.  Real estate is pretty reasonable in some spots but depending on where you go you may have to be ready for a mad rush of tourists.  Anyways my Hawaii drooling aside seems like getting out of the current employer situation is the best thing to do.   

 I am pretty lazy! Where do I apply for HI job?

[Miss Tequila]

Possibly moving to Hawaii?? That sounds like a bragplaint!

Just kidding...I know it must be overwhelming but I absolutely LOVE Hawaii and would love to live there. 

As for the retirement, are you talking about 401(k) withholding?  If so, I would be let them know that they have until XX, 2014 to get you your money or you are contacting the Department of Labor.  There are strict rules they must follow with making the contributions to the plan.  Hopefully the threat will be enough to get them to make the payment....

[souldoubt]

Many prices were the same in our experience too but certain things you just can't get there without paying a major premium.  When it comes to materials or items not made on the islands you're going to pay multiple times what you would normally pay.  Housing is relative to where you live because we've seen places on some of the HGTV shows we watch regularly which are cheaper than where we live and some of them are even newer construction.  If you wanted to live in/near Waikiki then yeah it's going to cost more than a lot of areas.  On the big island though you can get quite a bit for your money but you have to consider what lava zone you live in.  You can find some nice places on Kauai which are reasonable compared to where I live but again the houses might be smaller and dated but you live there to live an outdoor lifestyle so inside space isn't as important.  

[resolution]

Feb 19, 2014 13:37:01 GMT -5 Miss Tequila said:

Possibly moving to Hawaii?? That sounds like a bragplaint!

Just kidding...I know it must be overwhelming but I absolutely LOVE Hawaii and would love to live there. 

As for the retirement, are you talking about 401(k) withholding?  If so, I would be let them know that they have until XX, 2014 to get you your money or you are contacting the Department of Labor.  There are strict rules they must follow with making the contributions to the plan.  Hopefully the threat will be enough to get them to make the payment....

We got them to pay back the money they withheld from his checks and reimburse his medical expenses from when the insurance lapsed. The remaining balance is the matching funds that they pretended they were giving us.

I would love to go to the Dept of Labor, but they would find so many violations that the business would end up shut down. DH likes all of his co-workers and doesn't want to harm their livelihoods, because most of them aren't going to be able to pack up and leave town to stay in the same line of work. The best I could do was convince him to get another job, which is still a work in progress.

[resolution]

Feb 19, 2014 13:37:54 GMT -5 souldoubt said:

Many prices were the same in our experience too but certain things you just can't get there without paying a major premium.  When it comes to materials or items not made on the islands you're going to pay multiple times what you would normally pay.  Housing is relative to where you live because we've seen places on some of the HGTV shows we watch regularly which are cheaper than where we live and some of them are even newer construction.  If you wanted to live in/near Waikiki then yeah it's going to cost more than a lot of areas.  On the big island though you can get quite a bit for your money but you have to consider what lava zone you live in.  You can find some nice places on Kauai which are reasonable compared to where I live but again the houses might be smaller and dated but you live there to live an outdoor lifestyle so inside space isn't as important.  

The job is on the big island, which is why the housing seems ok. They told DH we would be fine to get a small house with a big garage/workshop as long as we moved closer to the mountain and not on the beach. I don't know anything about lava zones though.

[Miss Tequila]

Feb 19, 2014 13:51:33 GMT -5 resolution said:

Feb 19, 2014 13:37:01 GMT -5 Miss Tequila said:

Possibly moving to Hawaii?? That sounds like a bragplaint!

Just kidding...I know it must be overwhelming but I absolutely LOVE Hawaii and would love to live there. 

As for the retirement, are you talking about 401(k) withholding?  If so, I would be let them know that they have until XX, 2014 to get you your money or you are contacting the Department of Labor.  There are strict rules they must follow with making the contributions to the plan.  Hopefully the threat will be enough to get them to make the payment....

We got them to pay back the money they withheld from his checks and reimburse his medical expenses from when the insurance lapsed. The remaining balance is the matching funds that they pretended they were giving us.

I would love to go to the Dept of Labor, but they would find so many violations that the business would end up shut down. DH likes all of his co-workers and doesn't want to harm their livelihoods, because most of them aren't going to be able to pack up and leave town to stay in the same line of work. The best I could do was convince him to get another job, which is still a work in progress.

Your dh is very kind...sadly, it sounds like the business is going down the tubes quickly anyway.  Calling the DOL might at least protect some of the retirement money.  But I do understand your husband's hesitation. 

And....I vote for you to host the first annual YM meet-up once you move in....

[Gardening Grandma]

Which island?  We are leaving Maui today to fly home

If I were younger and had a job opportunity here, I'd jump at it.  (But be sure to have a spare bedroom 

Yes, what you are feeling is very normal...

[souldoubt]

Feb 19, 2014 13:54:32 GMT -5 resolution said:

Feb 19, 2014 13:37:54 GMT -5 souldoubt said:

Many prices were the same in our experience too but certain things you just can't get there without paying a major premium.  When it comes to materials or items not made on the islands you're going to pay multiple times what you would normally pay.  Housing is relative to where you live because we've seen places on some of the HGTV shows we watch regularly which are cheaper than where we live and some of them are even newer construction.  If you wanted to live in/near Waikiki then yeah it's going to cost more than a lot of areas.  On the big island though you can get quite a bit for your money but you have to consider what lava zone you live in.  You can find some nice places on Kauai which are reasonable compared to where I live but again the houses might be smaller and dated but you live there to live an outdoor lifestyle so inside space isn't as important.  

The job is on the big island, which is why the housing seems ok. They told DH we would be fine to get a small house with a big garage/workshop as long as we moved closer to the mountain and not on the beach. I don't know anything about lava zones though.

You will need to know about lava zones if you make the move to the big island:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lava_Flow_Hazard_Zones

If it makes you feel any better like other posters have said if I had an employment opportunity in Hawaii I'd be ready to move out there by this weekend.