❤ mollymouser ❤
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Sarcasm is my Superpower
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Post by ❤ mollymouser ❤ on Feb 22, 2011 17:15:10 GMT -5
Can you post your monthly expenses for us?
Rent Utilities Insurance Car Payment? Cell Phone? Internet? Gasoline? Car Payment? CC #? CC #2? Savings? Charitable Giving? Groceries? Entertainment? Starbucks?
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Feb 22, 2011 17:27:26 GMT -5
Val, I also know where you've been...I was 10,000 in debt at one point. I made a decision that it hurt more to be in debt than it was ever going to hurt to get out. I wrote out my debts, and wrote down what I could cut down and cut out, and literally placed that extra money on those debts to help wipe them out.
I lost any loyalty I had to brands or stores, used coupons and rebates, and began to re-evaluate my relationship with money. It is not what you spend; it's what you save and how you spend. If you're going to live your life defined by your spending, that's not living. That's digging a hole you will never get out of.
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Post by valeriana on Feb 22, 2011 17:29:48 GMT -5
Walmart is awful. I went there once but it was just too awful. I like Target better. I think the Walmarts in the area are just really poorly managed, too. They are unclean, junk all over the floor...etc.
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Post by valeriana on Feb 22, 2011 17:32:52 GMT -5
I will write out my budget - I am about to sign off for now as I am not feeling well. I hope to bring this thread back to life tomorrow to talk again. Thanks.
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patchwork150
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Post by patchwork150 on Feb 22, 2011 17:36:55 GMT -5
val: I'm 23. I was 12k in debt in 2009. Around this time last year I was 7k in debt. I paid it all off in August 2010. PM me if you want I was part of the northeast WIRR, now i'm part of WIRS (women in red savers)
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patchwork150
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Post by patchwork150 on Feb 22, 2011 17:51:01 GMT -5
The most important thing for you to do is what I went through (it's a process, and it's not easy): #1 Realize where things went wrong, and DO NOT REPEAT the same mistakes. Take responsibility for yourself, your life, and your actions. It's easy to lie to yourself and to make excuses to yourself- and the worst part is that you trick yourself into believeing them! #2- Realize that you are in control, and you can turn your life around no matter how deep in the hole you are in. : )
I wish you all the best!
BTW, my salary at the time of the deepest debt was $13.25/hour, 40 hours a week, paying new york state taxes. I made it out, and am over 12k in the positive now. There IS hope!
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Frugal Nurse
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Post by Frugal Nurse on Feb 22, 2011 19:57:05 GMT -5
There are lots of free things to do, especially when the weather gets warmer.
If you frequent sites like dealseekingmom.com, they regularly post things like codes for a free blockbuster kiosk or redbox movie rental. Get yourself a few good friends, a good movie, and a bottle of wine, and you've got yourself a terrific night in for the cost of just 2 drinks out! Make it more interesting by asking each friend to bring her fav. bottle and have a sampling party. Fondue nights are cheap and easy, as are potlucks, and nights where you just hang out in the back yard with a fire and some of your favorite alcohol. you could make it even cheaper by nixing the ETOH, but it sounds like that's your thing. When the weather warms up, hiking, biking, walking around downtown window shopping, going to local festivals, these are all free and fun. Many towns have free concerts in the park (usually classical or small bands, but could be fun). Our city has something free going on pretty much every week during the summer.
Try to think outside the box and find new ways to have fun. When you've paid down your debts, you can ease back into spending money again, but maybe not as much (to prevent you from going into debt again).
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Frugal Nurse
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Post by Frugal Nurse on Feb 22, 2011 19:58:06 GMT -5
The most important thing for you to do is what I went through (it's a process, and it's not easy): #1 Realize where things went wrong, and DO NOT REPEAT the same mistakes. Take responsibility for yourself, your life, and your actions. It's easy to lie to yourself and to make excuses to yourself- and the worst part is that you trick yourself into believeing them! #2- Realize that you are in control, and you can turn your life around no matter how deep in the hole you are in. : ) I wish you all the best! BTW, my salary at the time of the deepest debt was $13.25/hour, 40 hours a week, paying new york state taxes. I made it out, and am over 12k in the positive now. There IS hope! You survived in NY on $13.25/hr? You are my idol...
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 22, 2011 22:41:13 GMT -5
I know how you feel and definitely know where you are coming from. We have about 140K in student loans between the two of us and that have keept me up at night.
Plus credit card and car note.... that would give us over 180K of debt.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 22, 2011 23:50:03 GMT -5
I think an important question to ask yourself is what you would do with the money now if you didn't have a car payment/cc payments... would it just end up going to an extra coffee run every day? Go into your i pod? ... More money won't do much, until you learn to prioritize. What are your priorities... do you want to fund retirement? Buy a house? Travel? ... having goals helps one to resist those coffee binges... Please do list your expenses and income information... people here are great at helping...
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runewell
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Post by runewell on Feb 23, 2011 0:04:58 GMT -5
My main issue is that I have nothing to do if I am not spending money. Movies, dinner, entertainment... life is too expensive. I am really burnt out and want to cry right now. You can watch a movie for $9 at night, or pay $6 at the matinee, or wait four months and get it for $1 at redbox. It's all about instant gratification, or wait a little longer and maybe check it out at the library. I think you need a budget to reign in some wasteful spending - it will get you out of debt sooner. There are plenty of things to do that are inexpensive: go for walks, play games, read books, post on money forums, etc etc.
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runewell
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Post by runewell on Feb 23, 2011 0:08:16 GMT -5
My post was a bit blunt, and I think I need to add some encouragement and I agree with what was just said:
Your debt isn't that high and I would think you could pay that off pretty quick with a bit of discipline. Good luck to you.
Set some realistic goals and post them out on the Women in red section.
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Gardening Grandma
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Post by Gardening Grandma on Feb 23, 2011 0:26:25 GMT -5
Val It IS all about priorities. What are YOUR priorities? Where do you want to be financially one year from now? Five years from now? Ten years? These boards are great for helping you get to where you want to go, but only you can decide where that it.
I hope you'll take some time to figure out what your own goals and priorities are. If you'll share them, folks here are happy to offer suggestions and advice.
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haapai
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Post by haapai on Feb 23, 2011 0:50:30 GMT -5
What you're going through sounds pretty normal. Getting your ducks in order and figuring out when the debts will be paid off and what you can do to speed up that process will almost certainly make you feel better.
The numbers that you have thrown out so far are quite exciting. It doesn't sound like you're in too deep. Your interest rates are reasonable. It sounds like you have some discretionary income.
But I do have to warn you, the blues may come back after the initial flurry of number-crunching. I've found that translating money into time is a good antidote for the spendies. Knowing that discretionary expenditure x will extend your stay in no-fun-land by y days/weeks/months is a great way to keep yourself on track.
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blackcard
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As of April 2013 Mortgage is paid in full :) NO debt of any kind.
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Post by blackcard on Feb 23, 2011 1:32:55 GMT -5
CC#2 looks entirely doable. Just pay some extra each month against principal. If you need more income to achive that, consider a part-time job for a while. Then tackle CC#1 It's not bad. Really. You could be debt free in 3 to 5 yrs, if you add nothing to the balances.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Feb 23, 2011 8:34:23 GMT -5
My concern is that if you deprive yourself TOO much, you will go crazy like someone who diets too long. Find some buy one get one free dinners or something along those lines and treat yourself at least once a month or buy that darn Starbucks once a week as a treat or even better, my treat to myself is actually Publix sushi. The guy makes it fresh daily and although its 5-7 bucks, I can get 2 lunches out of it and I feel pampered by my sushi fix.
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Feb 23, 2011 12:44:59 GMT -5
I went back and read the threads, and I hope I am not repeating anyone with this suggestion: a second job. And I make the suggestion for two reasons: more money to throw at the debt faster, and it will keep you busy and not thinking about what you are missing.
It does not have to be another full-time deal, nor does it have to be an everyday part-time situation. It can be done a few days a week, or when you have free time. Get that money directly into savings; don't put a finger on it. My second job pays via Paypal, so I never "see" the money; it goes right to savings.
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8 Bit WWBG
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Post by 8 Bit WWBG on Feb 24, 2011 11:53:11 GMT -5
I wanted to weigh in on this a little more thoroughly. Personally, I'm not sure I feel outright "depressed" about it, but I'm sure depression is mixed in there. I'm going to keep this concise:
First I feel a sense of frustrated resent at DF, for costing so much. That usually segues into a fit of crushing self-loathing for my failure to set boundaries that could have avoided a lot of those expenses. After that is apprehension and tension about what its going to take to dig out of the mess, just to get where we WERE when we started off. After that is a lot of pessimism about how we'll be starting at 0 at a point where people who did it right will be light years ahead.
Its hitting home harder lately as I see more and more friends posting about nice trips on FB, or hearing about cool upgrades or nifty opportunities people are able to take advantage of. I won't say we have "nothing". I am very grateful for what we have. A good chunk of our debt at the VERY LEAST went to things that have some permanence. Furniture we use daily, house fixes we enjoy daily... That offers some consolation.
I'm somewhat consoled by the fact that she has finally matured in matters of finance, and we have been moving forward for the last year or two. Some destructive old habits have been put to death.
But there are days when it is very hard not to be bitter and angry, because I kept saying that this was going to be the outcome back during the point we made our choices, and I was ignored. Well now we get to pay the consequences, just as I said we would.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Feb 24, 2011 11:59:20 GMT -5
WWBG, I know this is easy for me to say, but you might also take comfort in the fact that you don't have kids yet. It's always best to make major financial mistakes when you're young and not tied down, if you must make them at all. You guys are fixing what went wrong and dealing with the consequences, and I'm sure you'll be fine and better than ever in a couple of years.
Plus, at least you never have to have this conversation again. Next time the desire for instant gratification strikes, you shouldn't have to work nearly as hard to convince her it's a bad idea.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 24, 2011 12:10:53 GMT -5
And most people make them.. i know its not a great comfort... lol... but when i think of all the money i went through early in my career... throwing it away on stupid thing....
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WholeLottaNothin
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Post by WholeLottaNothin on Feb 24, 2011 12:35:00 GMT -5
First I feel a sense of frustrated resent at DF, for costing so much. That usually segues into a fit of crushing self-loathing for my failure to set boundaries that could have avoided a lot of those expenses. After that is apprehension and tension about what its going to take to dig out of the mess, just to get where we WERE when we started off. After that is a lot of pessimism about how we'll be starting at 0 at a point where people who did it right will be light years ahead. Read more: notmsnmoney.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=finance&action=display&thread=3741&page=2#ixzz1EtmTpFIOI could have written that above paragraph about my husband. The I want what I want when I want it thing is irritating to say the least. We will be paying our way out of yesterdays "fun" for years.
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8 Bit WWBG
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Post by 8 Bit WWBG on Feb 24, 2011 12:45:03 GMT -5
...:::"And most people make them.. i know its not a great comfort... lol... but when i think of all the money i went through early in my career... throwing it away on stupid thing.... ":::...
Thats kind of what hurts the most -- that I knew better and said so each time. Oh well...
...:::"We will be paying our way out of yesterdays "fun" for years. ":::...
Yup, and since they are the type who move immediately on to the next want the second they get something, it is REALLY going to hurt them. But every time they start to piss and moan, I can just rocket off an "I told ya so".
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 24, 2011 13:29:03 GMT -5
My main issue is that I have nothing to do if I am not spending money. How about getting a part time job to fill up those hours? Talk about a win/win. Get out among people and keep busy enough to take your mind off your problems and make money to help you eliminate your economic problems.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Feb 24, 2011 21:21:57 GMT -5
And most people make them.. i know its not a great comfort... lol... but when i think of all the money i went through early in my career... throwing it away on stupid thing.... I was pretty good when I was young. I saved half of my pay check because I had roommates and it ending up being enough to make a 20% down payment on my first house back in 1978 or 79. My mistakes happened as my salary grew and my eyes became bigger than the salary. I am hoping I have learned from those mistakes. A plan is in place to pay off all debt in 3 years. My credit union has a money makeover program and I have to go in every 90 days and they will keep me honest with myself. I made a choice tonight. I want to go to the girls' state basketball tournament. Last night I made a hotel reservation. Today I realized that is a want and not a need and I canceled the hotel reservation. The finals are on television and I will watch it that way. I can also buy a "season pass" to watch online which will be much cheaper than going there in person.
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sunflower64
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Post by sunflower64 on Feb 25, 2011 0:07:44 GMT -5
Valeriana - definitely jump over to WIRR. I'm in the Midwest group. Lots of support and really gets you to take notice in what you are doing. Start with a small change at first ... the so called Latte Factor. I know you love Starbucks, but think about making your coffee several days at home and then Starbucks is a treat. If you did that 4 out of 5 days you would save $20/week ($80/month) and you could apply it to your cc debt. Definitely think of things to do free or cheaply - maybe do potluck with friends with BYOB,
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kittycat
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Post by kittycat on Feb 25, 2011 0:12:50 GMT -5
Lots of good advice and I hope you have success following it. But it is time to talk about depression. Sometimes the only way to get over it is to go to the doctor or a counselor. You can't afford not to take care of yourself. Debt and stress are hard on the self-esteem. See somebody if you need to do so. In the meantime, get some fresh air and exercise.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 25, 2011 0:20:01 GMT -5
Thats true kittycat... and soemtimes people use buying as therapy... much better to talk it out...
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suziq38
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Post by suziq38 on Feb 26, 2011 13:41:26 GMT -5
Write all your expenses in a cheap notebook. Every single penny, just like a daily diary entry. You will see patterns of spending, good and bad. Focus on the bad ones. Eliminate or reduce them. No more Starbucks, Whole foods, or alcohol if possible. All are expensive habits. Can you buy Starbucks coffee and make it at home before you go to work?
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haapai
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Post by haapai on Feb 28, 2011 9:04:27 GMT -5
I suspect that several people here are mildly worried. Did you delay crunching your numbers? Are the results unsettling? Several anonymous busybodies want to know.
FWIW, "I did what you guys suggested and it will take me a while to make sense of it", and "bugger off" are also perfectly valid replies.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Feb 28, 2011 11:46:42 GMT -5
FWIW, "I did what you guys suggested and it will take me a while to make sense of it", and "bugger off" are also perfectly valid replies.
Thanks for the laugh, haapai! Karma for you.
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