My father may be dying ...

[Works4me]

Thank you all - just got back from the nursing home and his breathing is still stable. However he is in bed and is not alert enough to be out of bed. Yesterday afternoon he was cold and wanted to go to bed in the afternoon which also is not like him. Today he is drifting in and out, does not want his meds, does not want to eat and is not even interested in coffee and a cigarette. He has had issues with Heart Failure going back over 20 years and was considered terminal in 2010 and again in 2012 so the end may be coming. Or he could rally again and keep going and going and going like the Energizer Bunny he has always been in the past.

One really nice thing is the staff at the facility he is in has very low turnover so even though I am not able to be there 24/7, he is with people who have cared for and about him since September 2012. In fact, worked there over 20 years ago and some my former colleagues are still there. They will call me if/when his breathing shifts and until then he is in good hands I trust. He has had a Do Not Resuscitate order since his admission there and I am comfortable with him going if this is indeed his time.

Time will tell which way his condition goes. Thank you all again for your support. It really helps to know that I am not as alone as I feel sometimes and it also helps to now that others are facing the same or similar issues. I am planning to go back late this afternoon and take him his favorite chocolate donut and hot coffee just in case he rallies.

All in all I must say that no matter how this turns out, he is in the best place possible, is in the hands of good people and I am maybe 10 minutes across town. Best of all is my health has stabilized enough since Thanksgiving that I can be there.

What more can any of us ask in this world?

[Jaguar]

{{HUGS}}

[dannylion]

Sending good thoughts your way, sarahjese.  

[taz157]

Dec 14, 2013 23:25:44 GMT -5 dannylion said:

Sending good thoughts your way, sarahjese.  

[Deleted]

Dec 15, 2013 3:13:53 GMT -5 taz157 said:

Dec 14, 2013 23:25:44 GMT -5 dannylion said:

Sending good thoughts your way, sarahjese.  

X 3

I will him in my thoughts and prayers.

[mollyanna58]

Sending prayers and good wishes for both of you

[kittensaver]

OMG Sarah I just saw this - - hugs and love and prayers going out to you! If ya gotta go, peacefully and under the care of those who love you is (sadly) the best way. Praying you will find courage to help him face his end with grace. Hugs

[Opti]

I'm sorry this time of year is so hard on you. I think you
have the right attitude which will help. Many people go into denial
when a loved one is very ill and I think it makes it harder for the loved
one to pass if it is their time.


I'll add my prayers to the highest and best for both of you in this
situation. Remember no matter how this unfolds, love doesn't die,
just the body - the soul remains.


  <--  your Internet buddies & you

[resolution]

You and your father are both in my prayers.

[Sammy]

You are a good daughter, sarahjese. 

[Works4me]

He is a bit better tonight and looks like he is only battling pneumonia. He is barely speaking which is a great improvement over yesterday and it looks like only pneumonia but we will know more in the morning.

If he is able to return to his baseline of up daily for meals and just hanging out people watching, chatting with staff, and occasional cigarette with coffee outside - great. But if he is trapped in his body, unable to speak and just existing in pain ot is time for him to go. Comfort care is being provided along with antibiotics but no CPR, no heroic measures. I know this is what he would want and I am comfortable with it.

Will comment more tomorrow but for now thanks to all.

[NastyWoman]

While it is not the same as having people around you IRL, know that we are here for you Sarah

[Jaguar]

Sarah we are all here for you hon.

[Deleted]

Dec 16, 2013 3:02:14 GMT -5 NastyWoman said:

While it is not the same as having people around you IRL, know that we are here for you Sarah

Sending good thoughts your way, sarah.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Sarah, hugs and prayers to you during this time. 

And I do believe you have the strength and grace to handle this. 

[Labcat]

My thoughts and hope for the best outcome are with you.

[bean29]

Dec 16, 2013 9:25:29 GMT -5 @beerwench said:

Dec 16, 2013 3:02:14 GMT -5 NastyWoman said:

While it is not the same as having people around you IRL, know that we are here for you Sarah

Sending good thoughts your way, sarah.

Sending thoughts are prayers your way.  Hope all is well with your faher.  Just went through something similar with my Dad.  He managed to pull through but my Mom things he is just not  physically/mentally the same.  We are just thankful to have him with us still.

[Sam_2.0]

Oh, Sarah, there's really no words. You both are in my thoughts and prayers.  to you both!!!

[raeoflyte]

I'm sorry Sarah. I wish there was something I could say to make this time easier. I'm glad he's in a good hands and that your health is better. Remember to take care of you too.

Sent from my Droid using proboards

[mmhmm]

I just saw this, Sarah.  I'm so very sorry.  I will keep you and your father in my thoughts.  

[Deleted]

So many hugs SarahJ.

I'm glad you are prepared for whatever may happen. In the UK, they have an expression, pneumonia is an old man's best friend.

Losing a parent is never easy, no matter how young or old we are. And you have had plenty of losses. But I agree with Sammy, you are a good, good daughter, and I'm sure you have been a source of great joy to your dad, even if it wasn't easy every day. I hope that thought can give you peace whenever your dad's time comes. I hope it doesn't come soon, but know that we children are never ready for that, no matter how old we, or they, are.

I hope that something wonderful happens to you this time next year . 

[Anne_in_VA]

Wishing you peace and strength Sarah. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

[Bonny]

And today's your birthday.

[jeep108]

Hugs

[Peace77]

 Happy belated birthday!

Wishing you Peace.