Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 11, 2013 12:15:00 GMT -5
GW1 is 17, a good kid, no drugs, drinking or sex yet. I know this because she is something of a homebody and I am around her a lot and there are no signs of any of these things. This week she asked me to add unlimitted international texting to her phone plan. She will pay for it. She is texting with a 19 year old boy in Oklahoma that she met through some social site.
Now considering my participation with this board and the fact that I have made friends this way and have actually met a few of you 'mericans and everything was fine...how do I deal with this?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 11, 2013 12:15:58 GMT -5
I'd let her talk with him but no meetings until she's over 18!
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Dec 11, 2013 12:17:01 GMT -5
And no nude pictures and would she mind confirming that he's 19 and not some perv?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 11, 2013 12:22:04 GMT -5
And no nude pictures and would she mind confirming that he's 19 and not some perv? Apparently they snap chat and his pictures on snap chat match his facebook picture. I mentioned the nude pictures and sexting thing to her and she squeeled at me "Bloomy!!! I HAVE self respect!" She's such a prude
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Dec 11, 2013 12:22:57 GMT -5
That's a good thing for you!
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greeniis10
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Post by greeniis10 on Dec 11, 2013 12:38:46 GMT -5
But do you KNOW that the "person" behind the computer screen and on the Facebook picture is actually a 19 year old? I know I'm pretty skeptical and admittedly, I do not use any type of social media, but I do know how prevelent "cat phishing" is. (Is that what it is called?? I need to look it up to be sure...)
Anyway, I hope she did find herself a new friend and that all goes well. If I were you I'd just monitor it; randomly check texts or whatever is suitable for the arrangement you have with her.
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hoops902
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Post by hoops902 on Dec 11, 2013 13:24:51 GMT -5
And no nude pictures and would she mind confirming that he's 19 and not some perv? Yeah, better confirm he's really 19 and not some perv...because 19 year olds aren't the pervy...at all
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justme
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Post by justme on Dec 11, 2013 13:54:29 GMT -5
I'd talk with her about her expectations from this. Is she just expecting to be friends with him, or is she going down the "relationship" path with someone she's never met in person? Catfishing is really much more of a problem when people think they're falling in love and have a committed relationship with a person. It doesn't always include not being who they said they are - he very well could be a 19 year old, but could have a gf in town and on in Mexico or something. Basically to make sure she goes into a friendship with him with a healthy dose of salt.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 11, 2013 14:42:45 GMT -5
She always claims the boys are just friends, until about 2 weeks after they actually say they are dating. lol But I will talk to her about that.
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sarcasticgirl
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Post by sarcasticgirl on Dec 11, 2013 14:44:26 GMT -5
VIBER allows for free international texting via WIFI.
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Dec 11, 2013 14:53:32 GMT -5
Eh, I don't see an issue with it. I'd go ahead and do it. It wouldn't hurt to get to know the boy a bit better though.
Your "GW" is almost an adult. I think she's old enough to manage her online life.
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Dec 11, 2013 14:58:37 GMT -5
But do you KNOW that the "person" behind the computer screen and on the Facebook picture is actually a 19 year old? I know I'm pretty skeptical and admittedly, I do not use any type of social media, but I do know how prevelent "cat phishing" is. (Is that what it is called?? I need to look it up to be sure...) Anyway, I hope she did find herself a new friend and that all goes well. If I were you I'd just monitor it; randomly check texts or whatever is suitable for the arrangement you have with her. You don't consider this message board social media? And you've suggested meeting up with me a couple of times. How do you know I'm not some "perv?"
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 11, 2013 15:05:11 GMT -5
But do you KNOW that the "person" behind the computer screen and on the Facebook picture is actually a 19 year old? I know I'm pretty skeptical and admittedly, I do not use any type of social media, but I do know how prevelent "cat phishing" is. (Is that what it is called?? I need to look it up to be sure...) Anyway, I hope she did find herself a new friend and that all goes well. If I were you I'd just monitor it; randomly check texts or whatever is suitable for the arrangement you have with her. You don't consider this message board social media? And you've suggested meeting up with me a couple of times. How do you know I'm not some "perv?" We all know you're a perv. We thought that's why she wanted to meet you.
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greeniis10
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Post by greeniis10 on Dec 11, 2013 15:12:08 GMT -5
No, I don't consider this board social media. Maybe some do, but I don't.
I don't recall specifically saying you and I should meet. I DO recall saying that I believe we are in the same general area. Not that I wouldn't want to meet you; I'm guessing from your posts that you are intelligent and legit.
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Dec 11, 2013 17:14:33 GMT -5
No, I don't consider this board social media. Maybe some do, but I don't. I don't recall specifically saying you and I should meet. I DO recall saying that I believe we are in the same general area. Not that I wouldn't want to meet you; I'm guessing from your posts that you are intelligent and legit. *shrugs* I don't know what the precise definition of "social media is." But I guess I don't see much of a difference between these message boards and talking on facebook. But one thing to note is that GW is legally a minor, and we're both adults. But I consider 17 to be essentially an adult. At least adult enough to manage your online life. I realize that when you turn 18 it's not like a light switch comes on and you're suddenly adult like in every way, but it's certainly an age where you want to start curtailing parental involvement. There's certainly nothing wrong with Laterbloomer giving parental guidance, but GW needs to start learning to manage her own affairs and relationships.
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Dec 11, 2013 17:18:59 GMT -5
Oh, and I met up with MidJD in person. She lived to tell the tale.
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alabamagal
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Post by alabamagal on Dec 11, 2013 17:37:14 GMT -5
When you said international, I got real suspicious until you mentioned Oklahoma - I know you are in Canada.
Anyway, no nude pics, no running away to meet him and no sending money.
I assume that SnapChat means you are pretty certain that he is who he says he is.
On a positive side, I think that it can be a good, simple way to learn to talk to someone of the opposite sex for shy kids.
BTW, my DD who is 22 is a homebody/self professed nerd. She had a boyfriend in college and dumped him (thankfully). She is into online gaming and met many people through that. She recently found an internship and then a job in an area where a lot of them live and they are now her real-life friends, not boyfriends though as far as we know.
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Plain Old Petunia
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Post by Plain Old Petunia on Dec 11, 2013 18:21:50 GMT -5
But do you KNOW that the "person" behind the computer screen and on the Facebook picture is actually a 19 year old? I know I'm pretty skeptical and admittedly, I do not use any type of social media, but I do know how prevelent "cat phishing" is. (Is that what it is called?? I need to look it up to be sure...) Anyway, I hope she did find herself a new friend and that all goes well. If I were you I'd just monitor it; randomly check texts or whatever is suitable for the arrangement you have with her. You don't consider this message board social media? And you've suggested meeting up with me a couple of times. How do you know I'm not some "perv?" She's hoping you ARE.
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Dec 11, 2013 18:34:26 GMT -5
"She's hoping you ARE. "
Actually, if you stop and think about it, I meet many of the criteria identified in the psychological profiles of serial killers. Socially awkward, white male, considered by some to have above average intelligence...
Though I don't meet the age criteria yet, too young. And I never tortured animals as a kid.
I'm not helping any future endevors to meet YM'ers, am I?
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milee
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Post by milee on Dec 11, 2013 18:38:26 GMT -5
Oh, and I met up with MidJD in person. She lived to tell the tale. Either that or you tortured all her online IDs and passwords out of her before you chopped her into pieces and now all the posts from "MidJD" are really you...
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Dec 11, 2013 18:38:47 GMT -5
Phoenix, do you drive a Volkswagen Bug or dress up as a clown for kids' birthday parties?
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milee
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Post by milee on Dec 11, 2013 18:39:34 GMT -5
Nice try - posting as "Mid", but we know that's really you, Phoenix!!!
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Dec 11, 2013 18:44:17 GMT -5
Oh, and I met up with MidJD in person. She lived to tell the tale. Either that or you tortured all her online IDs and passwords out of her before you chopped her into pieces and now all the posts from "MidJD" are really you...
You know, now that you mention is, MidJD hasn't posted in a while....
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Dec 11, 2013 18:46:33 GMT -5
Phoenix, do you drive a Volkswagen Bug or dress up as a clown for kids' birthday parties? No, I find Volkswagen Bugs hideous, and I would NEVER in a million years dress up as a clown. Clowns are creepy as hell. Maybe my assessment of the psychological profile of serial killers isn't all that accurate. I'm getting my information from "Silence of the Lambs" which I watched like 10 years ago.
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Dec 11, 2013 18:49:23 GMT -5
Hey Mid. It's nice to see you.
I haven't seen you around in a while. I figured you were busy with the baby madness.
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Dec 11, 2013 19:02:43 GMT -5
Nice to "see" you too! I've been reading but not posting much. Whenever I start typing DD either screeches for food or fills her diaper. Such an attention hog. So I guess I'm lucky I'm not a large woman or you'd have taken my skin for a dress To answer the OP, I don't think texting is a problem for a 17yo. If she's as much of a homebody as you've posted, you'll know if it starts to become obsessive, problematic, etc., and should be able to curtail it pretty quickly.
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Dec 11, 2013 20:05:19 GMT -5
I don't think I'd be real concerned at this point. They've been communicating anyway. This just makes it less expensive for them to do so. She's old enough to begin learning how to be her own person and it sounds like she's already pretty good at it.
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motherto2
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Post by motherto2 on Dec 11, 2013 21:25:18 GMT -5
I think the fact that she isn't hiding it from you shows a maturity already beyond her 17 years. it would be easier than we parents would like to admit to keep things hidden. Being above board about it and offering to pay for the additional texting charge is a positive sign. I say let her go for it, but keep an eye on it. Casually ask questions about him, and see how you think it's progressing. But by all means, talk to her early about not letting it take over her life, and to take it slowly.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Dec 11, 2013 21:35:00 GMT -5
But do you KNOW that the "person" behind the computer screen and on the Facebook picture is actually a 19 year old? I know I'm pretty skeptical and admittedly, I do not use any type of social media, but I do know how prevelent "cat phishing" is. (Is that what it is called?? I need to look it up to be sure...) Anyway, I hope she did find herself a new friend and that all goes well. If I were you I'd just monitor it; randomly check texts or whatever is suitable for the arrangement you have with her. You don't consider this message board social media? And you've suggested meeting up with me a couple of times. How do you know I'm not some "perv?" What? I only wanted to meet you because i thought you WERE a perv :-(
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Dec 12, 2013 9:02:52 GMT -5
Maybe I missed it but why does she need International texting at this point? Is she communicating with persons in foreign countries? Or is it just the thing to have? Just curious. ETA: Are you out of the country Later - it just dawned on me I don't know if you are in the US or not
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