toomuchreality
Senior Associate
Joined: Sept 3, 2011 10:28:25 GMT -5
Posts: 16,869
Favorite Drink: Sometimes I drink water... just to surprise my liver!
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Post by toomuchreality on Oct 5, 2013 13:59:21 GMT -5
toomuchreality ....... I would find a supervisor fast and get better care for your dad. This is uncalled for. Usually Hospice is a lot better than that.
Or find another Hospice group.
hugs Hospice is, by definition, palliative care. The point of palliative care is to keep the patient comfortable while allowing nature to take its course. Your father is not comfortable. He is not receiving palliative care. Raise holy hell until he gets it. I've got a call in. They are supposed to call me back. Has anyone tasted Ultram? Is it nasty? I've taken it before, but it was a long time ago,so I can't remember. Thursday they suggested crushing the ultram and mixing it in apple sauce or something. I tried, but didn't think it mixed well. He took one bite, then wouldn't eat the rest. I wondered if that's because it tasted so bad, or if it was because he just doesn't eat. They also want him to have 2 stool softeners daily. But he literally does not consume more than 2-3 small bites of food, and maybe 1/2 cup of liquid a day. We have been giving 1 stool softener. He feels like he has to/tries to go to the bathroom all the time. I think there just isn't any food to process. He gets pretty bad stomach pains. Would you increase the stool softener? I'm thinking no, unless someone can explain why. I know there is concern about becoming constipated, but I just don't see that as an issue at this point. It is not my intention to give too much information, or gross anyone out. But I would really like to know your thoughts about this. Thanks so much!
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engineerdoe
Established Member
Joined: May 22, 2013 17:10:26 GMT -5
Posts: 498
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Post by engineerdoe on Oct 5, 2013 14:03:04 GMT -5
toomuchreality, Fire that nurse today! When my grandfather was in his last stage of colon cancer my grandmother had to fire his doctor for not giving pain medication. This was the same doctor that delivered all of her grandkids and he was our family doctor for everything. Don't worry about hurting the nurse's feelings (she obviously lacks them).
My "One of those days" story began Friday morning at 7 am with a phone call from my supervisor telling me that he messed up with how a design was presented to the architect. I had already been telling the architect that what he wanted to do wasn't possible at the budget he had. But of course it wasn't real until a "man" says it right?
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engineerdoe
Established Member
Joined: May 22, 2013 17:10:26 GMT -5
Posts: 498
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Post by engineerdoe on Oct 5, 2013 14:13:28 GMT -5
They also want him to have 2 stool softeners daily. But he literally does not consume more than 2-3 small bites of food, and maybe 1/2 cup of liquid a day. We have been giving 1 stool softener. He feels like he has to/tries to go to the bathroom all the time. I think there just isn't any food to process. He gets pretty bad stomach pains. Would you increase the stool softener? I'm thinking no, unless someone can explain why. I know there is concern about becoming constipated, but I just don't see that as an issue at this point. It is not my intention to give too much information, or gross anyone out. But I would really like to know your thoughts about this. Thanks so much! What you are describing sounds like he is constipated (full disclaimer: I do not have a medical degree but I have been on the receiving end of stool softeners). I realize he is under Hospice care but a call to his oncologist may go a long way to resolve his issues. He may not being eating much because he is constipated. I would check to see if instead of stool softeners you could give him a laxative, liquid form mixed in a shake is preferable from my experience if he is having pain while swallowing. Make sure he is getting enough fluids too. They may have required the stool softeners because of his pain medication (common) so he may still have to take it.
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simser
Familiar Member
Joined: Jan 29, 2011 15:54:04 GMT -5
Posts: 798
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Post by simser on Oct 5, 2013 15:29:02 GMT -5
Toomuchreality- Since you asked for things about other people... I'm on call for my work today and we have to keep this log up of the work that we are doing (a few lines about every thing that crosses our department). And then initial. Sometimes we have to ask other departments to look at it again and that's one of our comments.
All that is background for the fact that I have 10 comments staring at me saying "asked [other department] to f/u-ck". F/u is to look at it gain and ck is my coworkers initials. He's not from this country and I don't think he understood what he was saying.
I'm dying of laughter!!
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toomuchreality
Senior Associate
Joined: Sept 3, 2011 10:28:25 GMT -5
Posts: 16,869
Favorite Drink: Sometimes I drink water... just to surprise my liver!
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Post by toomuchreality on Oct 5, 2013 19:23:15 GMT -5
Toomuchreality- Since you asked for things about other people... I'm on call for my work today and we have to keep this log up of the work that we are doing (a few lines about every thing that crosses our department). And then initial. Sometimes we have to ask other departments to look at it again and that's one of our comments. All that is background for the fact that I have 10 comments staring at me saying "asked [other department] to f/u-ck". F/u is to look at it gain and ck is my coworkers initials. He's not from this country and I don't think he understood what he was saying. I'm dying of laughter!! When I was working, and got remarried, we did the same kind of thing (using initials). Luckily my immediate supervisor caught the possibility of what was to come, so they didn't change mine (per married name). Whew!
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toomuchreality
Senior Associate
Joined: Sept 3, 2011 10:28:25 GMT -5
Posts: 16,869
Favorite Drink: Sometimes I drink water... just to surprise my liver!
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Post by toomuchreality on Oct 5, 2013 19:28:39 GMT -5
They also want him to have 2 stool softeners daily. But he literally does not consume more than 2-3 small bites of food, and maybe 1/2 cup of liquid a day. We have been giving 1 stool softener. He feels like he has to/tries to go to the bathroom all the time. I think there just isn't any food to process. He gets pretty bad stomach pains. Would you increase the stool softener? I'm thinking no, unless someone can explain why. I know there is concern about becoming constipated, but I just don't see that as an issue at this point. It is not my intention to give too much information, or gross anyone out. But I would really like to know your thoughts about this. Thanks so much! What you are describing sounds like he is constipated (full disclaimer: I do not have a medical degree but I have been on the receiving end of stool softeners). I realize he is under Hospice care but a call to his oncologist may go a long way to resolve his issues. He may not being eating much because he is constipated. I would check to see if instead of stool softeners you could give him a laxative, liquid form mixed in a shake is preferable from my experience if he is having pain while swallowing. Make sure he is getting enough fluids too. They may have required the stool softeners because of his pain medication (common) so he may still have to take it. From what I understand, he was constipated about a week ago. They resolved that issue. He seriously has not eaten more than 2-3 teaspoons of soup/broth and maybe 1/2 cup of fluids per day since. Do you really think it could be constipation? When I was anorexic, I ate a lot more than he does, and I only went to the bathroom once a week (maybe two weeks). So I thought it was the stool softener that was causing his stomach cramps. He does feel like he has to go, several times a day, and he does try. Thanks for your input! -tmr
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toomuchreality
Senior Associate
Joined: Sept 3, 2011 10:28:25 GMT -5
Posts: 16,869
Favorite Drink: Sometimes I drink water... just to surprise my liver!
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Post by toomuchreality on Oct 5, 2013 20:13:46 GMT -5
They switched my dad to liquid morphine today, and are also giving him something for nausea. (thank goodness) I'm on my way there now, to spend the night with him. No internet, so will chat again when I get back home. Thanks for everyone's help, and support!
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taz157
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 20:50:06 GMT -5
Posts: 12,934
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Post by taz157 on Oct 5, 2013 20:15:21 GMT -5
TMR - I'm sending prayers and good thoughts your way for your dad.
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NastyWoman
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 20:50:37 GMT -5
Posts: 14,866
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Post by NastyWoman on Oct 5, 2013 22:48:36 GMT -5
TMR - I'm sending prayers and good thoughts your way for your dad.
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GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl
Senior Associate
"How you win matters." Ender, Ender's Game
Joined: Jan 2, 2011 13:33:09 GMT -5
Posts: 11,291
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Post by GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl on Oct 6, 2013 9:16:07 GMT -5
TMR: I am not a medical professional nor do I play one on tv. However, having watched both parents die of colon cancer and genuinely wanting to help you care for your father in his last days, I am wondering if perhaps the cancer has become increasingly aggressive and your father now has more/larger tumors in his colon and abdomen that make him feel as if he has to go to the bathroom even though he really doesn't? In other words, the weight and size of the mass(es) makes him feel as if he needs to go to the bathroom.
Also, I watched colon cancer quickly attack both of my parents' livers and kidneys which caused them both to cease eating and drinking. However, even though they weren't eating, the compromised liver continued to try and make bile (digestive juices) even though there was no food to digest. Perhaps your father's liver and kidneys are now under attack.
A competent, well-trained hospice nurse will know all of this and will share his/her knowledge with you. If you aren't getting this kind of support, then keep fighting for it. It is our last loving gift to our loved ones and even if he can no longer express it, know that your father is ever grateful for your care and advocacy.
I'll keep you, your father, his medical team, and your family in my thoughts and prayers in the days ahead, TMR. Peace.
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toomuchreality
Senior Associate
Joined: Sept 3, 2011 10:28:25 GMT -5
Posts: 16,869
Favorite Drink: Sometimes I drink water... just to surprise my liver!
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Post by toomuchreality on Oct 9, 2013 5:25:51 GMT -5
TMR: I am not a medical professional nor do I play one on tv. However, having watched both parents die of colon cancer and genuinely wanting to help you care for your father in his last days, I am wondering if perhaps the cancer has become increasingly aggressive and your father now has more/larger tumors in his colon and abdomen that make him feel as if he has to go to the bathroom even though he really doesn't? In other words, the weight and size of the mass(es) makes him feel as if he needs to go to the bathroom. Also, I watched colon cancer quickly attack both of my parents' livers and kidneys which caused them both to cease eating and drinking. However, even though they weren't eating, the compromised liver continued to try and make bile (digestive juices) even though there was no food to digest. Perhaps your father's liver and kidneys are now under attack. A competent, well-trained hospice nurse will know all of this and will share his/her knowledge with you. If you aren't getting this kind of support, then keep fighting for it. It is our last loving gift to our loved ones and even if he can no longer express it, know that your father is ever grateful for your care and advocacy. I'll keep you, your father, his medical team, and your family in my thoughts and prayers in the days ahead, TMR. Peace. Thank you so much! I'm so sorry for your loss. It's really hard. Are you sure you've never played a medical professional on tv?! Sometimes I think it's easier to understand, when things are explained by 'regular' people. So I appreciate your thoughts and comments. Ugh. Twice this last weekend, while I was with him, my dad has fallen. I've heard he has fallen before, but he has not previously fallen when I've been there. The first time, he decided he needed to rush and get to the bathroom. I was behind him, so couldn't catch him. His body hurried faster than his legs, and he fell forward, cutting a big gash in his cheek and one on his arm. Luckily my sister was still there and helped me get him up and bandaged. He had a very good day Sunday, and slept well. Then about 6:30 in the morning, he tried to get up to use the bathroom alone. I was dozing in the hall. I woke up when I heard him. I got to him in time to help him get to the floor safely, but wasn't able to lift him and get him back on his feet. The paramedics came and helped him up. They were very nice about it. I feel so badly that twice, while in my care, there was a problem. However, I am so glad he wasn't alone! He gets so frustrated, not understanding what's going on, and not being able to control any of it. By the evening it seems to all catch up, making it the hardest. But we're hanging in there. Thanks again! How has YOUR day been?
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