USAA's Financial Train Wreck of a Family

[zibazinski]

It's easier to jump through those hoops in Florida, trust me. There was a family on my street who made it a business. They bought property in another state and used th foster money to pay for that and for the house they built on it. They had 6 or more kids at a time so it was tax free and lucrative for them. As some would age out, they'd get more of them. Because he was some kind of sheriff, they got away with more than they would have under normal circumstances. Did it for years and when he finally retired, they sold their home, dumped what kids were left be as into the system and moved. Thankfully, not all foster parents are like them. Those kids never ate very well, always pasta and cheaper foods. And they did a LOT of chores, not that that is always a bad thing. But the twin boys that were in DDs class were always running away. Very sad.

[Deleted]

Sept 17, 2013 13:31:01 GMT -5 NancysSummerSip said:

Sept 17, 2013 13:27:08 GMT -5 shanendoah said:

NancysSummerSip - We don't keep the money separate. We aren't asked to track the funds. I could track the funds because of the way I manage my checkbook/cash flow and the documentation I have on what our grocery expenses and the like were before the pop tart. And in general, no, we don't spend the whole $500/month we get from the state on her, though some months are more expensive than others. (August has back to school shopping, including new school uniforms and her birthday party/presents.) We do put some of that money away with the plan that it will be used for a family vacation. And we'll be starting a savings account for her once the adoption is complete.
If we were just fostering and not planning to adopt, I would probably (for my own purposes) do closer accounting of the money.

Wow, $500 a month sounds like a lot, until you think about what kids cost. Then you realize you can't keep a kid in socks and PB&J sandwiches for that kind of money each month.

One of my many thoughts...you can't save any money now with one kid but now you're bringing in 3 more...at once? I remember how much my brother ate as a teenager and it was astounding! I don't think it's occurred to her that she's actually going to go in the hole with them. I'm sure she thinks it will all just work out.


FWIW my brother adopted a 17 year old kid from Mexico...while my brother was in FORECLOSURE and too broke to replace all the bedroom doors for his existing 4 children. "But he's such a nice kid"

[Deleted]

Sept 17, 2013 13:06:11 GMT -5 nogooddeed said:

Did you catch the part where the husband is an expert at disposing of explosives?  Unless he is well insured, the ability of the whole family to survive financially could disappear in seconds. 

I think they were working on the EF to start. Then they could talk about additional life insurance.

But yeah, I read that. I think it was one of 5 head smacks I did while reading the article.

[busymom]

I agree with you Guys!  If they can't afford their lifestyle now, why on earth bring in more kids into their household? 

[Deleted]

Sept 17, 2013 15:42:26 GMT -5 @anne81 said:

The whole article made my head hurt.  It sounds like she jumps around doing whatever feels good at the time. (I'm giving the husband some slack because he's traveling around earning money.) 

The only blessing in the whole thing is that they have a pension and are young. 

I'm dying to know what the major, planned expense later in the year is and why they haven't cancelled it given their financial situation.  Another trip to Disneyland? 

Welcome back Anne!

I knew you couldn't quit us for long!

And we missed you and your thoughtful comments!

[Deleted]

Sept 17, 2013 12:21:28 GMT -5 shanendoah said:

Okay, now I have actually read the article.

Like others, I can't imagine how you spend $10k a month (maybe because my take home is about half of that), especially somewhere where you can get a 4bd/4ba home for $375k. (5bd/3.5ba in my neighborhood is $500k, and I live in the "cheap" part of the greater Seattle area.) They are not in a HCOLA.
And as Zib mentioned, while they did add to their expenses taking on the three foster boys, the state gives you money to offset that, though it may not cover day care costs. (State of WA does not generally pay for day care costs for foster kids. I don't know what VA's laws are.) Still, that shouldn't take them to $10k/month.

I get that they need to save. But I think before they do anything, they have to know where they spend. And not just in a tracking tool that shows what store your money went to. While those are helpful, I can spend $300 at CostCo with $100 of that being needed items and $200 being wants. A tracking tool from my bank is just going to say I spent the money at CostCo, and I can claim that's all grocery spending. But it's NOT.

This family needs to start by tracking every penny they spend, where they spend it, and WHAT they spend it on.

I'll be that if they can get that figured out, they will quickly learn that their 3 month EF does NOT need to be $30k.

I believe they are in Leesburg, which is considered the DC metro area so they are most definately in a HCOLA.  I thought $375 for a 4db/4ba was pretty darn cheap.

[Deleted]

Sept 17, 2013 16:18:58 GMT -5 busymom said:

I agree with you Guys!  If they can't afford their lifestyle now, why on earth bring in more kids into their household? 

I will say that in my brother's case that he has ADHD. He has that impulsive problem and while well meaning, doesn't think through the consequences.

[Deleted]

Sept 17, 2013 16:47:54 GMT -5 @anne81 said:

I knew you couldn't quit us for long!

Thanks for the welcome back!

I just can't seem to draw up proper boundaries with my dysfunctional, online family.

LOL,

[Nazgul Girl]

   Welcome back, Anne81.  

[needanewjob]

I have seen lots of military families who have a severe case of "I deserve it" and they seem to be very similar.  Every mid-tour from a deployment seems to merit a huge party and vacation.  His retirement should be at lease 2000 a month with medical, but lots of the contracting jobs are going away.  Hopefully this will wake up a few of our military families who have gotten used to the 12 years of war and how it affects their finances.

[Deleted]

I have no sympathy for people who burn money on high flying vacations & then whine and lament that they don't have funds for college.  Whining is not a plan.  Doing what you've always done is not a plan or an answer.  They have clearly conveyed and lived to their actual priorities.  Man up & admit you value the vaca's more than college for your kid; and that buying a bigger house so you could foster kids was also more important than your's kid's college fund.  It's their right to make that choice.  Its the subsequent whining I can't abide.

[skubikky]

Sept 17, 2013 12:09:37 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Is this you Drama or is it really Gwen?

That's Gwen at her birthday party.

she is too cute....kickin butt and takin' names!

[skubikky]

I suspect that the article doesn't include all the facts, just the salacious ones that would get a reader's attention.

[resolution]

I think people are ripping on the vacations way to much. If they are spending 10k per month on their regular expenses and have an additional 2k per month that the financial advisor wants them to invest, then a trip to Disneyland every two years is not what has put them in this position.

Really she needs to start tracking what she is spending and look at her daily habits.

[Rocky Mtn Saver]

Sept 18, 2013 7:47:36 GMT -5 resolution said:

I think people are ripping on the vacations way to much. If they are spending 10k per month on their regular expenses and have an additional 2k per month that the financial advisor wants them to invest, then a trip to Disneyland every two years is not what has put them in this position.

Really she needs to start tracking what she is spending and look at her daily habits.

I have to agree with this.  It's the $10k monthly spending they need to really look at.  I'm guessing there's a huge amount of fat in that budget. 

[zibazinski]

No kidding and hopefully she isn't looking at foster care to make money. There are those that do but hopefully, few and far between.

[resolution]

I doubt she is doing the foster care for the money, with the kind of money they are bringing in through work. The $1500 a month is peanuts compared to all the transitions she is going through; husband leaving the military, moving to a new state, and taking on three young kids at the same time that hubby goes overseas. I think she is going to have  a rough time of it.

[973beachbum]

Sept 17, 2013 15:17:41 GMT -5 @bonnap said:

Sept 17, 2013 13:06:11 GMT -5 nogooddeed said:

Did you catch the part where the husband is an expert at disposing of explosives?  Unless he is well insured, the ability of the whole family to survive financially could disappear in seconds. 

I think they were working on the EF to start. Then they could talk about additional life insurance.

But yeah, I read that. I think it was one of 5 head smacks I did while reading the article.

He better have negotiated it when he got the job because I know of no insurance company that will sell him life insurance with that job, or at least they wouldn't cover him for anything to do with disposing of explosives type thing or being in a war zone.  If they did it almost wouldn't matter because the cost would be incredible.  

I did notice how young she is so I wonder how young his is.  At 35 she actually has 30ish years to save before retirement really.  I don't think that is the worst part of the article.   the part I couldn't get over was their ability to ignore all thought and just buy stuff like a huge house.  While they might have felt they needed 4 bedrooms they probably didn't need to spend nearly as much as they did to get it.  Clearly getting the "lesser" home that will do the job, vs the best and perfect, regardless of if they can afford it, is just a part of their DNA at this point.

And just to add all the posts seem to see it as her fault and he could be just as at fault.  I have known quite a few people who had the attitude that "I work hard and I refuse to die with money in the bank without doing the things I wanted to do".    So it could be all her but it could also be 50/50.

[Deleted]

For sure it's a mutual problem.

Even if the vacations, house and fostering the children are her idea, the husband needs to be a part of the decision making process. In some ways their situation reminds me of that poster whose wife kept taking in/supporting her family members for the last 7 years. At some point, someone's got to put his/her foot down to stop the madness.

I sure hope that this USAA husband's choice of career and time away isn't a way of ducking what's going on at home.

And while noble, I think the fostering of the kids idea was a mistake. She really needs a paid job to help contribute to her biological kid's college fund. And having a paid job might have cut back on the spending as well as the amount of vacation time they had.

But they've done what they've done. Now it's time for the financial advisor to give them the loving head slap.  They need to lay out their goals and go on the money diet it's going to take to achieve them.

[Otto the Orange]

Sept 18, 2013 7:47:36 GMT -5 resolution said:

I think people are ripping on the vacations way to much. If they are spending 10k per month on their regular expenses and have an additional 2k per month that the financial advisor wants them to invest, then a trip to Disneyland every two years is not what has put them in this position.

Really she needs to start tracking what she is spending and look at her daily habits.

I don't think people are ripping on the actual vacations so much as her reaction when she receives advice to maybe help solve this problem to do without a vacation, and she is kind of like hell to the no.......

[naturallyfrugal]

Sept 17, 2013 11:59:46 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

no retirement 

Not quite.  The husband has a military pension.  Not understanding where the disability payments are coming from though, but when he reached 65-67 (depending upon age), he'll be drawing Social Security.

One thing that the article didn't say was how he is drawing his military pension.  Is he taking a reduced benefit so his wife is covered when he dies?

Regarding the retirement and disability, if you have a % of disability upon retiring then your retirement is actually split based upon your level of disability.  My husband has 60% disability upon retiring from the Marine Corps and he receives his retirement (reduced amount) and a disability payment.  They are computed and taxed differently than retirement alone and it results in a larger net payment each month than just the retirement would be.  My husband's is almost an extra $1k/month.

This is a very basic explanation - I believe the actual formula is complex.