giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Aug 9, 2013 10:06:53 GMT -5
I liked going into work to give me some me time (as crazy as that sounds). Not crazy at all. I remember I was overdue with #2, and I still went into work. One of my co-workers (who was a mother as well, but her child was in HS, so she was removed from the baby years) asked what I was doing in the office. I said "I can have a cup of hot coffee in peace and quiet. Who in their right mind would turn that down?" I work, like you because I have to. If I've got a chance to take time off, I'd jump at it, and have no problems finding no-work/non-child related things to do. But, I also don't define myself by my day job. I'm not career oriented. I'm more "I have a job because I like what I can do with my money" oriented.
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on Aug 9, 2013 10:31:35 GMT -5
How can you be bored with time off? Shit, I read one book a year, if I'm lucky, cover to cover. And that's after starting it like 5 times. I have had hobbies. Don't get to indulge with them too much. Friends-don't have much time for that, either. Then there's my flower beds. Which kinda falls into hobbies, but kinda not. I can't even make it through a movie anymore. I don't remember the last non-kid movie I went to the movie theater for. It's been a few years. The most tv watching I can handle is a 40 minute tv show. Sleep. I've also quit practicing and performing my instrument. I really should get back to that. I know my situation is different because I work a full time job, several part time and have three kids. That literally sucks up all of my time. If I got a bunch of time do do whatever I wanted, I wouldn't be bored. I'd go to my above list and dig in... I already shared how much I enjoyed my time off before the baby (other than being extremely physically uncomfortable), but yeah - it was definitely one of the more enjoyable chunks of time off from work. Hell, I could be a SAHW (note a W not an M ) and fill my days with working out, reading, volunteering, cleaning, etc. You don't need a job to keep busy. If i didn't have a day job, we would weight 500 pounds. I love to bake. I like to cook, but I love making deserts. The last month with both of my pregnancies, I baked at least one batch of cookies a weekend. DS loves to help me bake, so I think those last 3 weekends, we made like 3 different types of cookies each weekend! What was worse was that I had Gestational Diabetes. I could eat exactly one cookie an hour after lunch and exactly 1 cookie an hour after supper. I was in hell. We gave a lot of the cookies away and we put a lot in the freezer, but it was comical. Add in that, I really do like what I do at my day job. I enjoy certain parts of it ... of course there isn't much use for designing stormwater systems in your spare time.
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finnime
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Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.
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Post by finnime on Aug 9, 2013 15:47:05 GMT -5
My kids are now 27 and 19, so it's been a while, but I do remember... With both, I went back FT because there was no other option at 6 weeks. Easing back in with some work at home time and part time in the office sounds ideal. And at 6 weeks the baby and I were both good with the going back to work - but not the abrupt FT immersion. That was hard emotionally and physically for me.
Oh, my DD's pediatrician told me that she breast fed her children, and didn't pump during working hours. So I did the same. And it worked fine; I could breast feed both children through 7 months, only during non-working hours.
Thinking of this time makes me smile. Thank you.
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Angel!
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Post by Angel! on Aug 9, 2013 16:19:20 GMT -5
I took 6 weeks off with both of my kids then started back part time. My employer was flexible and basically let me do what I wanted including working from home a lot. I would not have started back so early if I had to put them into daycare while I worked part time though. But, I brought them to work, worked from home, and sometimes had my mom watch them.
I would go the part time route sometime between 6 and 9 weeks depending on how you feel, but try to avoid daycare during that period if you can. I also wasn't worried about using all my paid time off as long as I still had some FMLA time. Yes it would be unpaid, but they cant get you in trouble for needing the time off for doc visits or sick kids.
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Malarky
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Post by Malarky on Aug 9, 2013 16:48:41 GMT -5
And, it helped that my DH was an equal partner in parenting and I no issues "letting" my DH take care of his own child(ren).
No matter how you work out your time off and transition back to work, this, to me, is the most important thing. My kids are 16 and nearly 19/off to college. DH has been an equal partner every single step of the way. I never "let" him do anything. Although as recently as yesterday we were joking about "Daddy dressed." Let's just say that my kids wore some interesting outfits to school. He was and is just as capable as I am to parent them, whether it be fun or discipline. They have two people they can talk to for any reason at any time. I have worked with so many women who can't trust/rely on their SO to take care of their kids while they work.
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on Aug 9, 2013 18:19:21 GMT -5
This is not typical. My supply took a with DD at 4 months and as soon as I cut out pumping once at work, it was all over.
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973beachbum
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Post by 973beachbum on Aug 9, 2013 19:47:40 GMT -5
This is not typical. My supply took a with DD at 4 months and as soon as I cut out pumping once at work, it was all over. It is very typical from all the people I have known. We all used to breast feed when we were with the baby, but not pump for the bottles when we were at work. Our bodies had no issues adjusting to the decreased demands of only nursing outside of work hours.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Aug 9, 2013 20:56:37 GMT -5
Although as recently as yesterday we were joking about "Daddy dressed." Let's just say that my kids wore some interesting outfits to school. I have worked with so many women who can't trust/rely on their SO to take care of their kids while they work. We have a picture of DS wearing a sleeper with horizontal stripes (green and blue). DH put a pair of jogging pants-red with a vertical white stripe on the sides-over that since he and DS were outside in the late fall. I see this on my birth boards a lot, women who don't allow their husbands /partners to be equals. Not all of it is on a bum partner though. Some of it is on the women. You know, if you don't do it the woman's way, it's wrong. After you've been chided enough for not doing things "the right way," you stop trying period..
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Aug 9, 2013 21:22:39 GMT -5
My vacation/sick kept accuring even when I was on maternity leave, so I came back with a positive balance that kept building. I have more time off than I know what to do with. So no worries about having to take unpaid time off.
We only get up to 8 weeks paid and that's only if you have enough vacation/sick accurred. We couldn't really afford for me to take the full 12 off so I went back at 8 weeks. That was also nice because I gave birth in July so if God forbid something hapened I still had 4 weeks FMLA left over. Not that I worry about my job but it's nice to have that umbrella.
I went back to work on a Tuesday. I sent Gwen to daycare for the first time on Monday. That was nice to have a whole day to myself to get back into work mode. I was also a mess thanks to seperation anxiety (Gwen was fine) so it was nice to be able to sob my eyes out at home instead of at work.
I do most of the sick days/pediatrican visis because DH's job frowns very heavily on taking any leave taht is not scheduled weeks in advance. We're working harder on figuring out how to do things at 2 pm-4:30 pm so DH can take over. We had to explain to MIL that just because I have a generous leave policy it doesn't mean I can abuse it. We do occassionally need her to help.
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weltschmerz
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Post by weltschmerz on Aug 10, 2013 4:20:37 GMT -5
I'm embarrassed to say how much maternity leave I had. France has socialized medicine and what they offer is probably excessive, but 12 weeks (which seems to be the max in the US) doesn't seem like very much. Here (for info, I'm certainly NOT trying to start any sort of political discussion!) the rule is 16 weeks total for a first or second pregnancy, 6 weeks before, and 10 weeks after. (That's if you were working at least a 60% PT before your pregnancy.) Vacation time continues to accrue so in reality, most people go back after 12 weeks, not 10. And no, you CANNOT shorten that six-week BEFORE period to extend the AFTER period. There is also a pre-printed form that gives you an extra two weeks off before if your OB/GYN thinks you are "tired" (how many 7.5m pregnant women do YOU know who are not "tired", especially if they have a toddler?!). I never took those extra two weeks off. I am LITERALLY the ONLY woman I know who didn't. You can also easily get another two weeks off afterwards if you breastfeed. As of your third pregnancy, it's 28 weeks total. I can't remember but it's either 8 or 10 weeks before, and either 20 or 18 weeks after. Again, your vacation times continues to accrue, so most people go back after 24 or 22 weeks. But the LEGAL time off is 16 weeks for the first two, and 28 weeks for any subsequent pregnancy. At full pay. If you haven't worked enough before, you don't get PART of this. Either you're entitled, or you're not. Again, not trying to start a political discussion, just for info, if anybody is interested. I think one or more of the Scandinavian countries, and Canada, are the only countries with more maternity leave than France. Yeah, I got a year off. First 12 weeks paid in full and then 9 months at 70% salary, I think it was.
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