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Post by Deleted on May 28, 2013 19:51:16 GMT -5
I'd advertise them on Craig's List. Charge a really small fee, though, because some people will take anything just because it is free. When DH came out here, he had an old BMW to get rid of. I told him to say it was $250 for a needy person and ask for the back story. Maybe the back story was made up, but he got rid of it and felt good.
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Post by Deleted on May 28, 2013 21:45:42 GMT -5
One of the parents at DS' school is a real estate agent in that area. Apparently it's hot right now with families because of the schools. She may be able to sell it but take a hit on the price.
Bonny's MIL's yard has to be seen to be believed. I've seen less complicated water features in public parks and gardens. From the portion I saw there is also very little flat space, it's mostly just ponds, moving water and rocks. It's amazing but also very unique - it's not going to appeal to everyone.
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genericname
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Post by genericname on May 29, 2013 8:34:50 GMT -5
I would advise against contacting any type of botanic garden/zoo/public display aquarium. I worked at accredited zoo for several years as an aquarist, and I can tell you they will nicely say "thank you, but we have no room" to your face, but behind your back they will degrade you as a crazy hack trying to unload their unwanted fish on an already overpopulated zoo. You would not believe how many calls we fielded turning away "donations" of people's unwanted fish, birds, and reptiles (usually because they grew so big they outgrew their enclosures and/or became dangerous to the family, not usually someone in your situation, Bonny). The mammals, not so much. Nice to know they think people are crazy, but I see your point. I was thinking more along the lines of " My mother is making her final arrangements and we are trying to figure out what to do with the Koi in her pond. Would xxx organization be interested, or do you know of someplace that might be?" I hardly see that as a reason for ridicule. You are right - it is not a nice thing to do, but it is a fact of life as a keeper/aquarist. A majority of those who go into that field are much more comfortable around animals than people, so they lack a bit of empathy when it comes to people and hard times. I think part of it is the sheer volume of people who buy the "cute little XXX" without bothering to research it's growth potential/aggression, etc. Few of the people who reached out were in Bonny's situation, which is a genuine hardship and she is definitely just looking to do the right thing. Bonny, I'm sorry about your situation and I hope you get it figured out as easily as possible.
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milee
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Post by milee on May 29, 2013 9:26:01 GMT -5
, Yeah, she seemed genuinely shocked when I told her that the ponds and waterfalls were likely to limit the customer base willing to buy the house. My younger sister is going to have a similar issue in the next few years. Her father in law (who is a wonderful, kind, lovely person - really) has done some very extreme things to his house, from installing cacti around/overhanging the pool to creating huge, homemade "art" installations all over the house and yard. Although the house is in a fairly mid-level Scottsdale neighborhood (avg house price is $300k - $450k), the art and plantings in the father in law's house may get to the point where most buyers will look at it as a scraper with no value assigned to the house at all.
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milee
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Post by milee on May 29, 2013 9:42:13 GMT -5
There's no need to feel bad about anything you're doing as long as it doesn't become a burden to others, IMHO.
As far as my sister's issue, the only reason it's her issue is that her FIL has repeatedly said he's willing the house to her and her husband. So she knows exactly who is going to have to deal with all this mess. She wouldn't care what FIL did with his own house if he were willing it to someone else or if her husband could be counted on to do any of the work. But as it is, it will not be a "gift" at all, but a huge burden. Truly like the proverbial white elephant.
I suggested she just hire someone to bulldoze/scrape the lot, but she said her husband would freak out. Again, I realize none of this is fatal, but it is obviously going to create a huge amount of work and strain on her marriage, so will suck for her.
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Post by Deleted on May 29, 2013 9:42:17 GMT -5
milee, On the one hand, I'm happy she's happy with the yard and she's got money to do it. But she's re-done this part of the yard three times and it feels more like she's the re-incarnation of Sarah Winchester. In addition to her complaining about all the people whom she says have ripped her off over the years and how much it costs to maintain the yard, it's actually dangerous for her. She's slipped partially in the pond and was stuck there for two hours until a passer by heard her. She's also slipped on the slate stairway since it freezes up and becomes icy in the winter. She's been in the hospital for the last 5 days because she over-did it with some gardening and wound up with back spasms so severe that she couldn't even turn over in bed. It took 6 paramedics to get her into the ambulance. It's frustrating because it feels like watching a slow train wreck. And of course it's wrecking havoc with the relationship between her and her son.
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milee
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Post by milee on May 29, 2013 9:44:17 GMT -5
And when she dies and you have to clean up the mess, it will wreak havoc with your relationship with your husband. Not a gift at all, IMHO.
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Post by Deleted on May 29, 2013 9:49:44 GMT -5
It may just take a little time for your husband to get to the same spot. Or getting an opinion from "the Outside Expert" aka three real estate agents. As long as the place doesn't have a huge mortgage or that there are sufficient funds in the estate to keep it going, it will take time and energy but it sounds like they'll wind up getting something out of it.
In my MIL's case, I believe it's physically dangerous but if we push too hard she just digs in deeper.
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Post by Deleted on May 29, 2013 9:53:47 GMT -5
Actually, I think we're in the same place with this. And other than having to take care of her three dogs, I'm sad to say it will actually be a relief when she goes. So much freaking drama, guilt trips and a lot of hurt feelings.
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milee
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Post by milee on May 29, 2013 9:58:54 GMT -5
No funds will be left in the estate, just the house and I think even that has a mortgage. Sigh.
The biggest problem is FIL's inability to understand how polite social conventions work. Example - he constructs 2 ton, 8' x 8' homemade "sculpture" which consists of rusting metal, tile and various inspirational sayings painted on salvaged material. Said artwork rests immediately outside the front door and would take substantial work to demolish/dispose of. When visitors arrive, he brings them out and proudly asks what they think of his art. Of course, people politely say how beautiful it is and how wonderful it is that he has crafted this masterpiece. He takes this as validation that this truly is a wonder and that people will be flocking to buy his unique home.
The people all roll their eyes behind his back, talk about how crazy the thing looks and wonder aloud how much work it would be to get rid of.
Now imagine that this latest sculpture is only one of several dozen type art projects around the house and that every interior wall has been "customized" with extensive tile art and sculpture that is now integral to the wall. And this is not a man with any artistic ability - the type guy who wears a plaid shirt with striped shorts of a different color... It's truly horrible.
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milee
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Post by milee on May 29, 2013 10:03:06 GMT -5
Actually, I think we're in the same place with this. And other than having to take care of her three dogs, I'm sad to say it will actually be a relief when she goes. So much freaking drama, guilt trips and a lot of hurt feelings. I'm so sorry to hear about that. Do you really have to keep the dogs or can you find homes for them, too? That is a lot to take on out of a feeling of obligation. Unless you really like and want dogs, that is a large burden. My sister has a little of the opposite situation. She really likes her FIL and enjoys him. He's a loving, kind person and an excellent grandfather. So she will be sorry when he dies. I know and like this man and think if he really understood what a nasty thing the "gift" of the house will be, he wouldn't do it.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on May 29, 2013 10:03:56 GMT -5
Now I want to see pictures of milee's FIL's house. You have me curious.
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Post by Deleted on May 29, 2013 10:07:58 GMT -5
Milee, Ouch. I definitely see how this is going to be a problem between your sis and her husband. The only advice I have at this point is when he passes for her to get the three agents in ASAP and for her and her husband to have a discussion about limits. E.g. six months on the market = $x. And to agree to a plan B. The hard part is trying to make business decisions while you're grieving, especially about a loved one's home. and strength to your sister.
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milee
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Post by milee on May 29, 2013 10:09:38 GMT -5
...::: Now I want to see pictures of Milee's father in law's house. :::...
Oh, it's quite craptastic.
We all (including their neighbors - oh, the poor, poor neighbors) talk about which one of the "art" works is our favorite. My personal favorite was when he went to the Tucson Desert Museum (not a traditional museum, more like a natural zoo for desert animals) and was inspired to try his hand at creating fake rocks. He did a fake rock pile that's at least 10' at the base and wraps up and over his 6' block wall. It could not possibly look more fake and kinda resembles Jabba the Hut.
My sister's favorite is the large (6'+) broken glass pile that he's lit from the bottom with Christmas lights.
Luckily for me, his is my sister's FIL (her husband's father) and not an issue I have to deal with.
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milee
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Post by milee on May 29, 2013 10:12:07 GMT -5
Milee, Ouch. I definitely see how this is going to be a problem between your sis and her husband. The only advice I have at this point is when he passes for her to get the three agents in ASAP and for her and her husband to have a discussion about limits. E.g. six months on the market = $x. And to agree to a plan B. The hard part is trying to make business decisions while you're grieving, especially about a loved one's home. and strength to your sister. You are a smart lady. I will pass this along and hope she listens. And I hope that her story makes you feel just a tiny bit better that things aren't as bad as they could have been. [img]http://images.proboards.com/new/smiley.png[/img]
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on May 29, 2013 10:13:27 GMT -5
I'm surprised he's allowed to do some of that "art". You'd think the city would cite him, especially for his large broken glass pile. It could not possibly look more fake and kinda resembles Jabba the Hut.
Well worst comes to worst you might be able to unload that on a Star Wars geek who also happens to be a sucker.
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milee
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Post by milee on May 29, 2013 10:32:39 GMT -5
These pictures ARE NOT her FIL's house, but this house reminds me in many ways of the customization/"art" at the FIL's house. FIL's art is sparser (doesn't cover every square inch of yard) but is much larger; both are similar in "quality." This house is a few miles south of FIL's house and near to where we used to live when we were in Phoenix. Interesting to drive by, but the neighbors probably weren't thrilled. www.roadsideamerica.com/story/15216
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Post by Deleted on May 29, 2013 10:38:06 GMT -5
Yes.
5 years ago (about 2 weeks after my mom died and a week or two before MIL was going to have major surgery), she did the "estate package" including a separate Pet Trust for her dogs. At the time, she name the dogs' agility vet and MIL's attorney as co-Trustees. At the time, it was the right decision but 5 years later, she and vet haven't spoken for 2-3 years. I think having these dogs will be a bigger burden on the vet than for us. The three dogs should stay together as they are two siblings and their nephew and have been together for 9 years. We are in the process of re-doing MIL's Trust so everything (including pets) go to him and eliminating the Pet Trust altogether.
The two older dogs are 11. Typically they will live to 14. Emotionally I think MIL will go in a rapid decline once she starts losing the dogs. But DH found out during our trip to see MIL on Mother's Day, that she's lost 17% of her kidney function. He thinks she might go as quickly as a year. I'm not totally convinced and think we're probably looking at a drawn out process of 2-3 years.
Anyway, you're correct the dogs will be a burden but hopefully not for a long amount of time.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on May 29, 2013 10:56:39 GMT -5
Well there you go milee, when FIL passes turn his house into a tourist trap.
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Nazgul Girl
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Post by Nazgul Girl on May 29, 2013 10:58:51 GMT -5
Landscaping companies sell pond koi. Call some businesses which sell *everything* landscaping to homeowners and see if they have a koi dept. You might be able to get them a good home that way.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on May 29, 2013 12:21:25 GMT -5
Well there you go milee, when FIL passes turn his house into a tourist trap. There's a concrete park in northern Wisconsin. I'll have to find a link. link Also, I think the Chicago Institute of Art has it on their list for their students to see. Not sure why myself but whatever.
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