so do i let my kids walk to the babsysitter's afterschool...

[midjd]

I would let them go to babysitters. I think I would have last year....

I drive by an elementary school on the way to work and there are always kids who appear to be 6-10 riding their bikes, walking in pairs, etc. Doesn't seem to be a big deal around here.

[bean29]

I walked to and from school every day 6 blocks too, but I never let my kids do it.  I also never let them ride their bikes down the highway either.  DD (16) asked me why when I was a kid we rode our bikes to the zoo and to the mall but I won't allow my kids to do it.  Mom and Dad live in a better urban neighborhood with curbs.  I consider rural roads with out curbs and sidewalks more dangerous. 

But when someone said "if you live in a good neighborhood, I would let them do it" I am thinking about kids we know who's Mom  pushed them out the door in the AM and did not want to see them until after 8.  If they happended to show up at Grandma's they were starving so I am sure the woman never fed them either.

[movingforward]

Yes, it is ONE block.  They are old enough for that...

[thyme4change]

I'm bored now, so I will post all the mascot-type people that could inspire your daughter to not dawdle on her way to the babysitters.  

[The Home 6]

Thyme, I would run from the nearly naked guy, and I'm a grownup.

I would let my kids walk. It's one block in a quiet neighborhood.

[Chocolate Lover]

I'd let them walk too. I'm considering letting mine walk home at a much greater distance but mine will be 9 and almost 12 at that point. I hope they have sense enough to cross the street by now.

[doxieluvr]

May 24, 2013 10:59:34 GMT -5 swamp said:

next year?

Last fall, I started a thread about my kids walking to the babysitter's afterschool and I was pretty much crucified.  I paid a 6th grader to walk them over.

Would you let them do it this fall? 

It is a small private school on a quiet residential street.  The babysitter is about a block away.  They would have to cross the street, go a half block, turn left, and go a half block.  I know everyone from the school to the babysitters. 

DD will be 5, 6 in October.  She will be in Kindergarten.   DS will be 7 in second grade.

This is so hard. I struggle with this as well. They want freedom to be able to do this stuff but we have to protect them from the nut cases. I am more cautious allowing my nine year old to walk places, because in child abduction cases, the children are usually walking to from school or somewhere. They are almost safer being left home alone, than walking on the streets . But safety is in numbers and they would be walking together. 

My nine year old is great at staying home by herself and will often choose that if I am running errands. 

[mrsdutt]

I would think about the area you (she) live in and make a decision based on that information.  You have the ability to research crimes in that area.

Another thought:  Is the babysitter able to meet them at school?  It is only a block away.  Or stand outside waiting for them when they turn the corner?  Or walk to the corner and watch them from there leaving the school?  If she watches other children the walk would be a fun thing for all of the children.  Not in winter!

[Deleted]

My two gut check questions would be:

If she were being an absolute pest, would your son ever leave without his little sister?  Because you know she's going to be a pain in the ass at some point.

Are they easily distracted... likely to get roped into a game of four square or need to poke a dead bird with a stick or take one more turn on their BFFs video game?  Because if they hadn't arrived 15-20 minutes after school let out, I'd want your babysitter to be flipping the hell out to go find them.  And you don't want the babysitter to have to go into red alert mode every third day.

[doxieluvr]

May 25, 2013 6:43:48 GMT -5 mrsdutt said:

I would think about the area you (she) live in and make a decision based on that information.  You have the ability to research crimes in that area.

Another thought:  Is the babysitter able to meet them at school?  It is only a block away.  Or stand outside waiting for them when they turn the corner?  Or walk to the corner and watch them from there leaving the school?  If she watches other children the walk would be a fun thing for all of the children.  Not in winter!

I live in a very low crime area but abductions can happen anywhere. I am not willing to take the risk of it being my child. 

[doxieluvr]

The first step in protecting your child from potential abductors is to know what you're dealing with. Here are some important -- and potentially surprising -- facts about child abductions in the United States:

Every 40 seconds in the United States, a child becomes missing or is abducted.
In 2001, 840,279 people (adults and children) were reported missing to the FBI's National Crime Information Center (NCIC). The FBI estimates that 85 to 90 percent of those (roughly 750,000 people or 2,000 per day) reported missing were children. The vast majority of these cases are resolved within hours.
Based on the identity of the perpetrator, there are three distinct types of kidnapping: kidnapping by a relative of the victim or "family kidnapping" (49 percent), kidnapping by an acquaintance of the victim or "acquaintance kidnapping" (27 percent), and kidnapping by a stranger to the victim or "stranger kidnapping" (24 percent).
Family kidnapping is committed primarily by parents, involves a larger percentage of female perpetrators (43 percent) than other types of kidnapping offenses, occurs more frequently to children under 6, equally victimizes juveniles of both sexes, and most often originates in the home.
Acquaintance kidnapping involves a comparatively high percentage of juvenile perpetrators, has the largest percentage of female and teenage victims, is more often associated with other crimes (especially sexual and physical assault), occurs at homes and residences, and has the highest percentage of injured victims.

www.parents.com/kids/safety/stranger-safety/child-abduction-facts/


Stranger kidnapping victimizes more females than males, occurs primarily at outdoor locations, victimizes both teenagers and school-age children, is associated with sexual assaults in the case of girl victims and robberies in the case of boy victims (although not exclusively so), and is the type of kidnapping most likely to involve the use of a firearm.
Only about one child out of each 10,000 missing children reported to the local police is not found alive. However, about 20 percent of the children reported to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children in nonfamily abductions are not found alive.
In 80 percent of abductions by strangers, the first contact between the child and the abductor occurs within a quarter mile of the child's home.
Most potential abductors grab their victims on the street or try to lure them into their vehicles.
About 74 percent of the victims of nonfamily child abduction are girls.
Acting quickly is critical. Seventy-four percent of abducted children who are ultimately murdered are dead within three hours of the abduction.
One in five children 10 to 17 years old receive unwanted sexual solicitations online.
In a 1998 study of parents' worries by pediatricians at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota, nearly three-quarters of parents said they feared their children might be abducted. One-third of parents said this was a frequent worry -- a degree of fear greater than that held for any other concern, including car accidents, sports injuries, or drug addiction.

[mrsdutt]

May 25, 2013 6:46:07 GMT -5 @craftysarah said:

My two gut check questions would be:

If she were being an absolute pest, would your son ever leave without his little sister?  Because you know she's going to be a pain in the ass at some point.

Are they easily distracted... likely to get roped into a game of four square or need to poke a dead bird with a stick or take one more turn on their BFFs video game?  Because if they hadn't arrived 15-20 minutes after school let out, I'd want your babysitter to be flipping the hell out to go find them.  And you don't want the babysitter to have to go into red alert mode every third day.

Those were the days.  When I could get a rise out of big brother by 'dillying'!  Oh how I miss them. LOL

[mrsdutt]

May 25, 2013 7:11:08 GMT -5 doxieluvr said:

May 25, 2013 6:43:48 GMT -5 mrsdutt said:

I would think about the area you (she) live in and make a decision based on that information.  You have the ability to research crimes in that area.

Another thought:  Is the babysitter able to meet them at school?  It is only a block away.  Or stand outside waiting for them when they turn the corner?  Or walk to the corner and watch them from there leaving the school?  If she watches other children the walk would be a fun thing for all of the children.  Not in winter!

I live in a very low crime area but abductions can happen anywhere. I am not willing to take the risk of it being my child. 

I don't remember saying you would take the risk.

[doxieluvr]

May 25, 2013 7:47:47 GMT -5 @lonewolf said:

I think my biggest nightmare, with letting my children walk alone anywhere at that age, would be some creep grabbing them and me never ever knowing where they went. This has happened to children who were walking within sight of their own house. Nope. Not until they were old enough to defend themselves would I do it. I think all kids should have self-defense classes.

Absolutely. 

[doxieluvr]

May 25, 2013 8:03:08 GMT -5 mrsdutt said:

May 25, 2013 7:11:08 GMT -5 doxieluvr said:

I live in a very low crime area but abductions can happen anywhere. I am not willing to take the risk of it being my child. 

I don't remember saying you would take the risk.

Never said you did...


i was saying in general that is not a risk I would take. Nor should anyone else. 

[mrsdutt]

May 25, 2013 8:11:44 GMT -5 doxieluvr said:

May 25, 2013 8:03:08 GMT -5 mrsdutt said:

I don't remember saying you would take the risk.

Never said you did...


i was saying in general that is not a risk I would take. Nor should anyone else. 

It looked that way.  You used my post to make a point.  I was addressing SWAMP.

[doxieluvr]

May 25, 2013 8:27:41 GMT -5 mrsdutt said:

May 25, 2013 8:11:44 GMT -5 doxieluvr said:

Never said you did...


i was saying in general that is not a risk I would take. Nor should anyone else. 

It looked that way.  You used my post to make a point.  I was addressing SWAMP.

Well you know what they say about ASSumptions.... 

[mrsdutt]

May 25, 2013 8:29:46 GMT -5 doxieluvr said:

May 25, 2013 8:27:41 GMT -5 mrsdutt said:

It looked that way.  You used my post to make a point.  I was addressing SWAMP.

Well you know what they say about ASSumptions.... 

What are you talking about??  I didn't assume anything.  I said it LOOKED that way.  Don't bother responding.  The interaction is over.  

[swamp]

May 25, 2013 6:46:07 GMT -5 @craftysarah said:

My two gut check questions would be:

If she were being an absolute pest, would your son ever leave without his little sister?  Because you know she's going to be a pain in the ass at some point.

Are they easily distracted... likely to get roped into a game of four square or need to poke a dead bird with a stick or take one more turn on their BFFs video game?  Because if they hadn't arrived 15-20 minutes after school let out, I'd want your babysitter to be flipping the hell out to go find them.  And you don't want the babysitter to have to go into red alert mode every third day.

He would leave without her. She would follow yelling at him at the top of her lungs so the whole neighborhood heard that he was being mean and not waiting for her. DS is more likely to dally and get distracted. DD again, will yell at time that they have to go. The babysitter will hear them arguing. DD will go where she is supposed to. 

If someone approached them, DS will talk their ear off. DD will scream and run. If someone grabbed them, they would both pitch a fit.   A kid can be grabbed anywhere, even out of their own yard, but most child addictions are by a family member. I don't really worry too much about it. 

[raeoflyte]

I started walking home from school alone at 7. Similar neighborhood, little farther on distance. My parents did that because they would know in 15 minutes if there was a problem. I'm planning on doing the same thing once we are back in that area.

Honestly my current neighborhood would be a good candidate too. Everyone walks to school in the poor neighborhoods. The streets are packed with kids, moms and strollers before and after school.

[raeoflyte]

May 25, 2013 9:29:27 GMT -5 @lonewolf said:

A kid can be grabbed anywhere, even out of their own yard, but most child addictions are by a family member. I don't really worry too much about it.

24 percent of child abductions are committed by a stranger. I couldn't live with taking that chance. The guilt over not protecting them better would kill me.

I get that and I struggle with that too. But do you say the kid can't ever leave the house if not accompanied by an adult? I know parents like that with middle schoolers. At 13 the kid can play in a fully fenced backyard or be in the house. And the parents wonder why the kid plays way too many video games and gains weight.

I don't want my kids to grow up like that.

[Deleted]

May 25, 2013 9:29:27 GMT -5 @lonewolf said:

A kid can be grabbed anywhere, even out of their own yard, but most child addictions are by a family member. I don't really worry too much about it.

24 percent of child abductions are committed by a stranger. I couldn't live with taking that chance. The guilt over not protecting them better would kill me.

Using doxie's numbers, there are about 180,000 children abducted by strangers in the U.S. each year.  18 of whom will not be found alive.

Out of 75 million kids.


Caution is good.  Teaching kids about tricky people is good.  Living in fear is unnecessary.

[swamp]

My kids could drown at swimming lessons, or dd could hit her head on the ice at figure skating, or ds could get hit in the chest with allacrosse ball, or they could get hit by a car in the Walmart parking lot, or they could get mauled by a dog. Danger is everywhere. Bit I'm not going to live in fear, and I don't want my kids to be afriad.

[steff]

I was a little kid in the 70's.  You know, back when parents didn't care & let us walk everywhere & let us be latch key kids.  lol

I started walking to & from school when I was in 1st grade.  It was a straight shot up 1 road, having to cross 1 busy street, for about a 5 block total walk.  We had sidewalks & a crossing guard on the busy street.  I walked home & stayed at home by myself until my mom got home from work.  I turned losing my house key into a fine art for most of 2nd grade.  So there was an extra key at a neighbors house & I had to check in with my mom asap when I got home.  I walked to & from school from 1st grade until I was a Sr in high school.  Even tho we moved a lot & I changed schools more times than I can count, we always lived close enough that I walked to & from school. 

Ok, so to be totally and completely honest, there were 2 incidents that happened while walking to & from.  When I was 8 I was walking to school with friends who lived on the same street.  We were fooling around & I dropped my books (we didn't have backpacks back in them olden 70's days).  Drivers on the street were driving straight into the morning sun & it was hard to see.  A lady (going very slow because there were kids everywhere walking) was blinded by the sun & ran up onto the sidewalk & I got hit by a car.  She couldn't see me at all because I was squatting down to pick up my books.  I was injured, but nothing life threatening or super serious. A messed up knee that needed but loads of stitches & concrete burns on my back.  I don't remember being scared of walking to school after that & my walking to school didn't change, except I tended to walk thru yards afterwards & not on the sidewalks.  2nd incident was I found an ounce of pot in a baggie while walking thru a yard.  I gave it to my mom when she got home from work.  It was the 70's, my mom was a hippie type so I can guess what happened to it. LOL 

I will also say that my brothers were never allowed to stay at home alone until they were in their teens.  One brother had firebug tendencies & the two of them together was always trouble in the making.  The ONE time they were allowed to stay home alone, mom came home to find them in the process of creating a "jump zone" out of the 2nd story window.  They had already thrown their mattresses out the window & were piling up pillows & stuffed animals around their "landing zone" when she found them.  After that, they could only stay home w/o mom if I was there.  This was also all post divorce, so there was a sudden level of freedom that we kids had never had before. The 3 of us could be left at home alone while mom worked 2 jobs, but after school, my brothers went to a sitter.  I always walked to the sitters (in same apts) to pick them up at 5.  I was a teen at that point & they were still under 10.


So I realize that all of this screams DON"T LEAVE YOUR KIDS AT HOME & DON"T LET THEM WALK TO SCHOOL, but really, nothing really bad ever happened & for kids, we didn't really destroy anything.  I don't remember being scared of being home or breaking the big rules of no cooking or having friends over while home alone.  I always had fun walking with friends to & from school. 

[Lizard Queen]

I had a very similar walk home when I was in kindergarten. I'm not 100% positive, since it was so long ago (late 70's), but I'm pretty sure I walked it by myself at 5. I survived it! (Sample size 1)

[raeoflyte]

May 25, 2013 12:54:27 GMT -5 @lonewolf said:

So I realize that all of this screams DON"T LEAVE YOUR KIDS AT HOME & DON"T LET THEM WALK TO SCHOOL, but really, nothing really bad ever happened & for kids, we didn't really destroy anything. I don't remember being scared of being home or breaking the big rules of no cooking or having friends over while home alone. I always had fun walking with friends to & from school.

Maybe I'm more paranoid now. Maybe I've been reading too many true crime stories, but I really think things are more dangerous now for our kids.
Back when we grew up or when we raised our kids, we didn't have creeps sitting in front of their computers ramp'n themselves up on child porn. We have 32 registered sex offenders living within a 15 mile radius of my grand kids and it concerns me. I will be watching our grand kids at our local park and many times I will see unattended young children playing. This after some guy pulls up in his truck and just sits there watching and drinking his beer. He could be one of these offenders for all I know. It totally creeps me out and after I leave I worry about those kids.
Maybe it is helicopter grand parenting, but I've decided to error on the side of caution.

It's the true crimes you're watching. Every single study says child abductions are down from the good ole days when you and your children ran around unsupervised.

If you refuse to believe those stats, fine, but personally I try to at least acknowledge why I have certain biases. These things have always happened, but now you hear about everyone nationwide as if it was happening in your neighborhood.

[doxieluvr]

May 25, 2013 12:54:27 GMT -5 @lonewolf said:

So I realize that all of this screams DON"T LEAVE YOUR KIDS AT HOME & DON"T LET THEM WALK TO SCHOOL, but really, nothing really bad ever happened & for kids, we didn't really destroy anything. I don't remember being scared of being home or breaking the big rules of no cooking or having friends over while home alone. I always had fun walking with friends to & from school.

Maybe I'm more paranoid now. Maybe I've been reading too many true crime stories, but I really think things are more dangerous now for our kids.
Back when we grew up or when we raised our kids, we didn't have creeps sitting in front of their computers ramp'n themselves up on child porn. We have 32 registered sex offenders living within a 15 mile radius of my grand kids and it concerns me. I will be watching our grand kids at our local park and many times I will see unattended young children playing. This after some guy pulls up in his truck and just sits there watching and drinking his beer. He could be one of these offenders for all I know. It totally creeps me out and after I leave I worry about those kids.
Maybe it is helicopter grand parenting, but I've decided to error on the side of caution.

Me to.

My kids have freedom to go amongst my parents house and the neighbors. It is a 15 acre area, a mile from a road. The odds are good that no creeps are lurking.

at my house, where someone could easily pull over, grab a kid and drive off, you won't see my children unattended.

[constanz22]

In the city I work in, in upstate NY, ANYONE (including Kindergarten) that lives less than a mile from school HAS to walk. I see 5, 6, 7 year olds walking alone all the time, and not in the greatest neighborhoods.

[Deleted]

We have 32 registered sex offenders living within a 15 mile radius of my grand kids

Seriously, the main differance is that now they are registered. Back in the day nothing was said or done about creepy Unlce Leroy. If we were lucky we had the kind of parents that didn't leave us alone with them and told us to stay away from them. A lot of people just treated it as a part of life.

[toomuchreality]

The only time we got a ride was when it was raining.

The only we ever got a ride was when we had a dental appt.


Everyone used to make fun of the kid who's mom walked with him to and from school every day.  You don't want your kids to be that kid, or you to be that parent. I promise you don't.

I'd let them walk.