Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Feb 21, 2013 11:55:17 GMT -5
Your child must be at least double digits to post in here about them. No exceptions.
If your curious which pre-k program has the best shot at getting your child into Harvard go be a nuerotic weirdo on another thread. If you're wondering how to motivate your 16 year old who's holding onto a C average by the skin of their teeth and says they want to be professional Youtube contributor when they grow up, you've come to the right place.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Feb 21, 2013 12:01:24 GMT -5
My daughter is 10, so I just qualify. She crys a lot. When asked to clean her room, she crys. When I made her wear sneakers because it was raining, she cried. Hormones - whoop!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 21, 2013 12:03:06 GMT -5
I am just reserving my spot.
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Feb 21, 2013 12:05:17 GMT -5
So, I took my team out for frozen yogurt after practice the other day. It was one of those by the ounce type places. The girls (12-14) all got the huge cups and filled them of course. My wife said something about them getting the big ones, or needing the big ones, I missed the exact comment. My daughter (who just turned 12 in December so she's one of the youngest girls on the team) fires back with "That's what she said." The girls all started cracking up.
I'm not blind, I've noticed she's going through puberty. I guess I hadn't really thought about the fact that she's thinking about sex now.
So.. uh.. any alcohol recommendations to get me through the next several years? Do I start monitoring her browser history or do I really want to know? Oh, I also found out one of my players who missed practice had just broken up with her boyfriend of 8 months. It was the talk of the outing, since they'd been together FOREVER and everyone at school thought they were going to get married someday. The drama level was seriously unreal.
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swamp
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Don't be a fool. Call me!
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Post by swamp on Feb 21, 2013 12:11:20 GMT -5
Jagermeister.
YOu don't want to know.
Welcome to the world of teen girls. Go get that Jagermeister now.
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swamp
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Don't be a fool. Call me!
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Post by swamp on Feb 21, 2013 12:11:40 GMT -5
Reserving my spot too.
DD is 5 going on 15, does that count?
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Wisconsin Beth
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No, we don't walk away. But when we're holding on to something precious, we run.
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Feb 21, 2013 12:14:44 GMT -5
DArk, you're an IT guy. You know damn well how to set up the house system and any phones so she can't get anywhere you don't want her going. If you need help (ha!) start with Dan's Guardian. And I think you need to provide the girls with the male snark about long term boy friends lasting. The team might actually LISTEN to you since we all know they're not going to listen to their parents.
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Feb 21, 2013 12:24:05 GMT -5
<BR>I could but she's going to masturbate no matter what I do. If I lock down the computers she'll probably start reading those horrible romance novels that you women folk read because you're too embarrassed to look at real porn.<BR><BR>I tried explaining the rules to them. Every guy knows you don't keep your junior high girlfriend when you go to high school, and you don't take your high school girlfriend to college. I think they thought I was joking. Whatev. I won't be the one trying to console them when they're crying their eyes out because guys are jerks, as long as they're ready to play when they hit my field.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Feb 21, 2013 12:32:17 GMT -5
I could but she's going to masturbate no matter what I do. If I lock down the computers she'll probably start reading those horrible romance novels that you women folk read because you're too embarrassed to look at real porn. There IS plot with some of them. So teach them to use that sadness/frustration and use it on the field/at bat or whatever works for the sport. I don't remember if it's swim or baseball.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 21, 2013 12:32:19 GMT -5
I could but she's going to masturbate no matter what I do. If I lock down the computers she'll probably start reading those horrible romance novels that you women folk read because you're too embarrassed to look at real porn. field. But do you want her masturbating to a terrible romance novel, or on a web cam while a 45 year old dude tells her to stick a coke bottle up her ass?
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Feb 21, 2013 12:34:25 GMT -5
None of our home computers have web cams, and none of them will as long as I have kids in the house.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 21, 2013 12:35:01 GMT -5
None of our home computers have web cams, and none of them will as long as I have kids in the house. keep telling yourself that and you will be ok.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Feb 21, 2013 12:36:12 GMT -5
<table role="grid"> <tbody><tr><td class="content"><div class="message"><br><br><br>We all know now what Archie does in his free time.............. <img alt=" " src="http://images.proboards.com/new/tongue.png" width="18" height="18" text=" "><br></div></td></tr><tr><td class="foot"><div class="edited_by"><a onclick="scroll(0,0);"></a></div></td></tr></tbody> </table>
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sheilaincali
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Post by sheilaincali on Feb 21, 2013 12:40:28 GMT -5
My kid is 14 so I guess I qualify and can post here- woo hoo.
Dark- we have made the Boy watch a handful of episodes of Sixteen and Pregant and basically told him "don't be like those douchebags!" Plus we tell him that all girls lie and even if she say's she's on the pill to wear a condom anyway. Hopefully it will be a while before he has to put that advice to use. We have always made him give us his passwords to his facebook and that sort of thing. We will randomly just hold out our hand and make him hand over his phone so we can check his texts. He doesn't really care since nothing private is really going on much.
However- he does have a girlfriend of sorts now. She's been over to watch movies a few times and she helped him babysit our friend's kids the other night. I keep telling him I'm not going to be a grandma until I'm 50 so to keep it PG.
The Boy talks to use about everything so we know what's happening in his life but his little girlfriend's mom is so afraid that she's going to say the wrong thing and piss her daughter off that she doesn't ask her many questions. She uses her son to be her spy and get the dirt and report back to her. I think that plan is dumb but I don't have girls- thank god. If I had a daughter that behaved like I did at 14 I'd sign myself in to the looney bin and stay there until she left for college.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 21, 2013 12:45:00 GMT -5
Webcams are only on the desktops in the living room here.
idon't know why, maybe it has to do with a cloud issue? But just in the last few days I've been getting one of my daughters, 11, text feeds on MY phone... A copy? At first I didn't think it could be her and friend, I mean its not horrid or anything, but definitely boy talk I wasn't ready to overhear from 11 yr old. Sigh, I've just been reading it and haven't said anything, is that wrong?
14 yr old likes his showers, etc. but shows no interest in real girls that I can tell? Maybe if the ones he knew gamed more...?
speaking of gaming, do they grow out of it? How much is too much...
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Feb 21, 2013 12:45:21 GMT -5
My Mom was always noncommittal about anyone we brought home. She later stated she knew it was the kiss of death to approval of anyone and she didn't want her disapproval driving us into anyone's arms. My older brother used to interrogate my younger sister's boyfriends, at least the ones brave enough to come to the house/door.
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The Captain
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Post by The Captain on Feb 21, 2013 12:47:13 GMT -5
OMG. DD is 10 and DH is sooo not ready for this. We're already trying to convince her that is she really likes a guy and wants to be friends with him the quickest way to ruin the relationship is to make it romatic. We'll see how long that lasts...
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Wisconsin Beth
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No, we don't walk away. But when we're holding on to something precious, we run.
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Feb 21, 2013 12:48:13 GMT -5
Webcams are only on the desktops in the living room here. i don't know why, maybe it has to do with a cloud issue? But just in the last few days I've been getting one of my daughters, 11, text feeds on MY phone... A copy? At first I didn't think it could be her and friend, I mean its not horrid or anything, but definitely boy talk I wasn't ready to overhear from 11 yr old. Sigh, I've just been reading it and haven't said anything, is that wrong? 14 yr old likes his showers, etc. but shows no interest in real girls that I can tell? Maybe if the ones he knew gamed more...? speaking of gaming, do they grow out of it? How much is too much... My bil's wife monitors their daughter. She's 12. She got a Kindle for Christmas and lost it a couple weeks later for what my bil's wife described as extremely inappropriate texts/messages, involving explicit sexual acts from 2 boys. She called both of them. Once swore he didn't know she was 12 and the other one just said they were goofing around. Uh huh.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Feb 21, 2013 12:59:41 GMT -5
Another reason I want my kids going to the same high school. I don't want it to be my only way to get information, but a couple of tidbits coming via siblings would be helpful. My daughter has never been big on sharing. Even as a baby, she rarely cried and wouldn't look me in the eye. I knew she was hiding something then, and I know she is going to hide plenty in a few years. I don't know how to crack her.[/span]
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Feb 21, 2013 13:02:26 GMT -5
Be the driver Thyme. The kids will talk and forget you're there.
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jeep108
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Post by jeep108 on Feb 21, 2013 13:27:54 GMT -5
I have a 16yr old. She hides in her room most days. She is having anxiety issues, she came out with this year. Saying she's been struggling with it since she was 13. She's pretty much afraid of everything. She also dealing with social anxiety. She's been in the same school district since K. So, she comfortable around her same group of friends. But if you introduce anything new it sets her off. We started counseling in Nov. her therapist wants to put her on Zoloft and I'm just not sure it's something I should do with her right now. Anyone have issues like this with their teen? Pass the Jagermeister my way.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 21, 2013 13:35:35 GMT -5
My 14 year old isn't very social. He likes hanging with his friends, but not anything with crowds and large groups. He has some personal 'OCD like habits', for want of a better description. We talk about strategies for different things. It helps I homeschool, so he doesn't have as much he has to do in large groups unless he chooses to...
personally I'm not much for medicating personality differences, I'd prefer behavior modification, strategies, and I'd choose a therapist who is not first thing med pusher. That said, the question is whether the issues are dibilitating and/ or causing her more harm, or situations can't be mitigated... Then I think meds can have a place for some people alongside talk and behavior therapy. It wouldn't be my first step though.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 21, 2013 13:38:54 GMT -5
I have anxiety and I didn't get medicated until about 4 years ago. I wish I had gotten diagnosed and treated at your daughter's age. Regular living was very difficult when I was untreated. With my medication things feel very easy. I'm not on Zoloft and I have no thoughts on specific medications. I only know that mine works for me.
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jeep108
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Post by jeep108 on Feb 21, 2013 13:43:03 GMT -5
My 14 year old isn't very social. He likes hanging with his friends, but not anything with crowds and large groups. He has some personal 'OCD like habits', for want of a better description. We talk about strategies for different things. It helps I homeschool, so he doesn't have as much he has to do in large groups unless he chooses to... personally I'm not much for medicating personality differences, I'd prefer behavior modification, strategies, and I'd choose a therapist who is not first thing med pusher. That said, the question is whether the issues are dibilitating and/ or causing her more harm, or situations can't be mitigated... Then I think meds can have a place for some people alongside talk and behavior therapy. It wouldn't be my first step though. This is how I feel as well. I think after 6 months of therapy and go from there. I just didn't feel comfortable enough to go straight to the drugs.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Feb 21, 2013 13:45:36 GMT -5
My experience is a little different. My daughter suffered from selective mutism, which is an anxiety disorder where a child is afraid to speak at school. We figured it out in preschool, and it is why she started kindergarten late. After fussing around with cognitive therapy (on a 4 year old) we found a doctor that put her on something (it might have been Zoloft, I can't remember now.) Two weeks later, she was talking in school. 6 weeks later she was perfectly normal. We phased her off the medication after 6 months, and don't have any problems. If we had put her on medication when we first figured out what was going on, she would be on grade level now.
I've heard that treating these things quickly, and with medication, during the times when there is great brain development (including puberty and teenage years) that it doesn't have to be a permanent thing. The medications help create new neuro-pathways that are "normal" and the symptoms go away. Not a guarantee.
But, there are definitely down-sides. I understand your struggle. I wasn't super excited about giving anti-anxiety meds to my preschooler, and would be even more concerned with a teenager. Good luck with your decision. [/span]
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 21, 2013 13:47:48 GMT -5
Anxiety is not a personality difference. In my case it was a physiological problem. I appreciate what you guys are saying about not jumping right into medicating things. I went on that philosophy for over 20 years. I suffered a lot when I didn't need to. Please don't let a prejudice against medication prolong you children's difficulties. Good luck to you and your kids.
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sheilaincali
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Post by sheilaincali on Feb 21, 2013 13:52:13 GMT -5
jeep- my teen years would have been much more pleasant for both me and my parents had I been properly medicated. That being said- you need a doctor that specializes in that to prescribe them. I wouldn't trust your family GP to be doling out the meds. oped- The girl DS likes is a gamer like him He used to be a small group only kind of kid but now in 9th grade he is really coming out of his shell. What helped was he and DH joining a local minis gaming league (War machine specifically). There are like 40 people in the league- one of two other kids DS' age but the rest are all adults. It's really been a boost to his self confidence because the guys treat him like a normal person and not like some kid. It helps that he is pretty good and wins on his own merit. I've noticed now that when he walks into a room he is no longer all shy and hiding behind us, he walks in with confidence. Thyme- she's afraid that if she asks her daughter questions that she'll clam up and not talk to her. So she calls us to get the scoop because she knows DS talks to us.
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jeep108
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Post by jeep108 on Feb 21, 2013 13:54:52 GMT -5
Laterbloomer, I'm not against it just wanted to see if therapy would help first.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Feb 21, 2013 14:00:10 GMT -5
Laterbloomer - I'm not against it either. But Zoloft and other anti-anxiety medications have a risk of side effects in teenagers, one of which is suicide. I wasn't worried about my 4 year old committing suicide, but if she needs to take Zoloft again during her teen years, I am going to be concerned because it is a known thing and a real concern. It isn't like other side effects - vomiting, not sleeping, etc. Once a teenager kills themselves, you can't just stop the medication and hope it reverses.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 21, 2013 14:00:13 GMT -5
Son isn't exactly shy? He actually can be the life of the party, likes to joke, etc. he's just very introverted, like me actually, it can be very over stimulating to have too much going on. It's also very draining. He likes his own space and while he likes to invite people into his space, he just has a shorter duration before he'd like them to leave again as far as the personality difference thing, anxiety frequently occurs when there is a discrepancy between how we are/what we like/ how we prefer to function.... And what we have to do/ where we have to function.
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