thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Mar 18, 2013 13:46:48 GMT -5
12 weeks - I'm blown away. How do these people buy pants with their balls being that big and all?
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Mar 18, 2013 14:21:46 GMT -5
Wow, I can't believe they want 3 months!
You have secured another job right? Tell them to shove it where the sun don't shine. You don't have to worry about them professionally anymore.
As far as personal I REALLY don't understand why you care. If you are afraid everyone will side with them. . .IMO they aren't worth caring about either, they are just as insane as these people.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Mar 18, 2013 14:26:45 GMT -5
I agree that they may be able to bad talk you, but when it comes up, you do want to say "I gave them a full two weeks notice, and documented my job before I left. They wanted 12 weeks, but I had another job waiting." Then you look rational and they look crazy. But if you walk out in a snit, someone can say "Joe and Suzy said you just walked out, without notice." And you have to answer "Well, they were crazy and treating me bad, so I high tailed it out of there." You look weak, and they look rational.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Mar 18, 2013 14:32:24 GMT -5
I agree with the 2 weeks notice. That's all you really owe them profesionally. I'm saying tell them to shove it when it comes to wanting 3 months notice. On what planet are they owed that much time? I don't think any prospective future employer would find it unreasonable that you declined 3 months notice, especially with a new job already lined up. OP shouldn't let them blackmail her into agreeing to those terms.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 18, 2013 14:47:14 GMT -5
I cannot wait for an update on the "talk" today!
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hoops902
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Post by hoops902 on Mar 18, 2013 15:13:22 GMT -5
::I'm saying tell them to shove it when it comes to wanting 3 months notice. On what planet are they owed that much time? :: The flip side is, on what planet is it unreasonable to ask for what you want? I don't get the drama over "I can't believe they want 3 months" from so many people. They want 3 months, she has the option to say no. It's not as if she said no and then they tied her up in the cellar. I see no issue whatsoever with an employer asking for 3 months. They can ask for a year if they want to. What's the big deal? ::OP shouldn't let them blackmail her into agreeing to those terms.:: Maybe I missed something, but I fail to see the blackmail involved with asking. What are they using to blackmail her? I don't htink she should agree to 3 months at all, I just don't see how them asking is this big issue.
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Wisconsin Beth
Distinguished Associate
No, we don't walk away. But when we're holding on to something precious, we run.
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Mar 18, 2013 15:13:22 GMT -5
I know, me too.
Edited to provide quote I was commenting on.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Mar 18, 2013 15:21:13 GMT -5
Maybe I missed something, but I fail to see the blackmail involved with asking.
I don't see anything wrong with asking, but given the backstory and how she's already done the quit/comeback dance with these people multiple times I can see them being able to bully her into extending her notice pretty much indefinetly.
She's also mentioned these people move in the same social circle and she wants to avoid conflict there too.
Which is all on her of course, but they're aware of it since it's worked for them in the past. It sounds like they're counting on it working in their favor again.
Hope it didn't.
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formerroomate99
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Post by formerroomate99 on Mar 18, 2013 15:42:47 GMT -5
::I'm saying tell them to shove it when it comes to wanting 3 months notice. On what planet are they owed that much time? :: The flip side is, on what planet is it unreasonable to ask for what you want? I don't get the drama over "I can't believe they want 3 months" from so many people. They want 3 months, she has the option to say no. It's not as if she said no and then they tied her up in the cellar. I see no issue whatsoever with an employer asking for 3 months. They can ask for a year if they want to. What's the big deal? ::OP shouldn't let them blackmail her into agreeing to those terms.:: Maybe I missed something, but I fail to see the blackmail involved with asking. What are they using to blackmail her? I don't htink she should agree to 3 months at all, I just don't see how them asking is this big issue. You make some valid points. Nothing they are doing would be a threat to an empowered person who has the proper level of detatchment from work. Unfortunately, it's pretty obvious that these people have some kind of hold over the OP, or they would not have been able to convince her to come back to them after they had been so nasty to her. Because of this, many of the other posters are using dramatic language like 'blackmail' and 'abuse' to get the OP riled up enough to stand up for hereself. But I do agree with you that the OP does need to change her attitudes towards work. Your coworkers aren't your family. Your boss isn't some kind of parental figure. You come to work to collect a paycheck, not to be fulfilled, get your self esteem fluffed up, or to find meaning in life. Business is business. It is neither healthy nor productive to get all emotional about it.
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formerroomate99
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Post by formerroomate99 on Mar 18, 2013 15:53:47 GMT -5
In some ways, calling these people bullies is giving them way too much credit. You can get bullied in school because you're a child and you're legally required to be there. That sure as heck isn't the case when a full grown woman chooses to return to a job where she had been treated badly.
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cronewitch
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Post by cronewitch on Mar 18, 2013 16:27:23 GMT -5
If I were the OP I would be prepared to walk out if they did anything I didn't like canceling the rest of the notice.
I have walked out once when the company didn't pay us on time. I simply said I am going home call when you get money.
The management needs to be aware you don't care what they want anymore so they have no hold. You are staying two weeks to be polite but if they aren't polite no reason for you to be either.
I will be leaving my company in a year or two and will try to leave on good terms but if they don't try I would walk out leaving them to clean up the mess.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 18, 2013 20:36:08 GMT -5
911... We need an update here!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 18, 2013 20:55:09 GMT -5
Yes we are all waiting for an update. Are they keeping you hostage at work? Is that why you havent given us an update yet?
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moneymaven
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Post by moneymaven on Mar 18, 2013 23:16:04 GMT -5
Haha, I have not been taken hostage! We sat down this morning with shister family member included. That pissed me off. I described what was appropriate given the people in the room and then had another convo with just the two of them in the afternoon. We've got a plan in place that will likely get me out of there sooner than 4 weeks and I've told them that's what we need to accomplish. I've delegated what I can in the short term, packed up my personal belongings and will now work to document and train our CPA's office on the tasks needed. They will fill in the gap until my position can actually be replaced with a quality person. Then that will take time to train the next person, but I will be long gone by then. I've started reaching out to my contacts letting them know I am leaving and the responses have been very complimentary and kind. That's the ONLY thing I will miss - the relationships, but many will come with me.
I got several emails to my personal account throughout the day to the effect of "you're the only reason we work with that company, guess we'll be going elsewhere now". While I don't wish them any bad, they have certainly sown this. A day at a time. Tomorrow, I am really going to make one of those paper chains with my son. That will be a good distraction...
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 19, 2013 7:56:56 GMT -5
I was waiting for more drama, etc. This is boring haha! I am glad they are being a little more professional, at least it sounds that way.
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moneymaven
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Post by moneymaven on Mar 19, 2013 19:36:57 GMT -5
Here's more drama. The shister relative has asked to take the position. They're giving it to them despite having zero qualifications. Now I have to "ordain my knowledge" to make this person successful. Ha!
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taz157
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Post by taz157 on Mar 19, 2013 19:42:13 GMT -5
Here's more drama. The shister relative has asked to take the position. They're giving it to them despite having zero qualifications. Now I have to "ordain my knowledge" to make this person successful. Ha! Good luck!
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973beachbum
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Post by 973beachbum on Mar 19, 2013 20:09:41 GMT -5
Here's more drama. The shister relative has asked to take the position. They're giving it to them despite having zero qualifications. Now I have to "ordain my knowledge" to make this person successful. Ha! I know. I'm evil.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 19, 2013 21:02:39 GMT -5
And in just two weeks!
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Nazgul Girl
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Babysitting our new grandbaby 3 days a week !
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Post by Nazgul Girl on Mar 20, 2013 2:02:54 GMT -5
If the shyster relative says anything negative to you at all, just whistle as you leave the premises.
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happyscooter
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Post by happyscooter on Mar 20, 2013 7:01:32 GMT -5
Well, you will be blamed when the relative can't do the job because you DIDN'T TRAIN THEM RIGHT. Do your job, write out a manual, leave them your phone number and email address, meet them after work. Don't you know they depend on you
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Wisconsin Beth
Distinguished Associate
No, we don't walk away. But when we're holding on to something precious, we run.
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Mar 20, 2013 7:35:58 GMT -5
Here's more drama. The shister relative has asked to take the position. They're giving it to them despite having zero qualifications. Now I have to "ordain my knowledge" to make this person successful. Ha! So this person is going to try to steal them blind?
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moneymaven
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Post by moneymaven on Mar 20, 2013 8:04:19 GMT -5
I doubt they'll steal. They won't know how to do the job and it will be my fault. You know, as opposed to the fact that they are unqualified. More likely is that they'll be sharing financial info of the company with family. Eek.
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Colleenz
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Post by Colleenz on Mar 20, 2013 8:13:20 GMT -5
OT -Beth check your pm
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cottoncandyclouds
Established Member
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
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Post by cottoncandyclouds on Mar 21, 2013 1:49:38 GMT -5
Here's more drama. The shister relative has asked to take the position. They're giving it to them despite having zero qualifications. Now I have to "ordain my knowledge" to make this person successful. Ha! Bolding mine. If these people are dumb enough to give the shister relative your old job without having the degree then it's their problem now not yours.Make your manual, train the relative to the best of your ability than leave it alone. If there is a problem it is not yours anymore it is the companies. They should know you need certain qualifications to do your old job.
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kcladyjane
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Post by kcladyjane on Mar 22, 2013 13:41:29 GMT -5
1 week down...how is it going at work? Are you going to do the 3 weeks or just 2?
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moneymaven
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Post by moneymaven on Mar 24, 2013 13:41:18 GMT -5
I am still committed to the 4 weeks. Last week was fine. The relative is so far out of the scope of relevant experience that training is painful, but I don't care anymore. I am taking time to connect with relevant contacts, have lunch/coffee and make use of the time left there for these items. There is no possible way to "ordain" my education and experience in the next 3 weeks. They are shooting themselves in the foot.
I've already delegated a bunch of the work to dummy and watching them all flounder and struggle a bit. That's been gratifying in its own way... I am just going to do the right thing while I am there and move forward.
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Nazgul Girl
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Babysitting our new grandbaby 3 days a week !
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Post by Nazgul Girl on Mar 24, 2013 14:39:18 GMT -5
I am still committed to the 4 weeks. Last week was fine. The relative is so far out of the scope of relevant experience that training is painful, but I don't care anymore. I am taking time to connect with relevant contacts, have lunch/coffee and make use of the time left there for these items. There is no possible way to "ordain" my education and experience in the next 3 weeks. They are shooting themselves in the foot. I've already delegated a bunch of the work to dummy and watching them all flounder and struggle a bit. That's been gratifying in its own way... I am just going to do the right thing while I am there and move forward. Wow. They don't even know the meaning of the word "ordain." I think that they'll possibly flounder themselves into bankruptcy. Amazing lack of foresight.
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