Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 8, 2011 16:31:59 GMT -5
Do we have the same brother? My brother proudly showed me his new $300 bong a few years ago. He works at a gas station.
I've been very open with him about what a waste that was - he calls me for financial advice. Right after Thanksgiving he called to tell me he'd decided to give up pot. ;D Best Christmas present ever. The pot was costing $400 a month.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Feb 8, 2011 16:33:56 GMT -5
It is often easier to feel closer to people who are in the same situation as you and have similiar values and beliefs as you do. Generally our friends are all professionals who have been more or less responsible with their money. At least they appear that way. Then one couple got a divorce and all their dirty laundry got spilled out on the table for all of us to see. It was a big sham - no money, lots of debt, etc. etc.
But, yes, we don't spend a lot of time with people who are constantly tripping over their own untied financial shoelaces. We also don't spend time with people who have drastically different values in other areas as well.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Feb 8, 2011 16:36:13 GMT -5
I've been very open with him about what a waste that was I have been and then we did not talk till my daughter was born. I don't think he's ready to hear it yet. I am thrilled that DH is finally on board, now maybe if my parents would kick his ass out. . .
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 8, 2011 16:38:37 GMT -5
It's hard. Stoners are so luvable and humorous.
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busymom
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Why is the rum always gone? Oh...that's why.
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Post by busymom on Feb 8, 2011 16:43:09 GMT -5
Hi Cyto! Thanks for the story! If you live in the midwest, you can give that couple my phone number--for $1400 in cab fares, I will personally drive them wherever they need to go next month--LOL! What a great part-time job!!! P.S. Thinking happy thoughts for you in you battle with cancer. Close relative just found out this month they are cancer free, so we need to "pass the baton" to you now.
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Post by cytoglycerine on Feb 8, 2011 16:44:19 GMT -5
If I was the friend in question, and you held a cab ride and the loss of a bus pass so much against me you had to hold me up to the ridicule of strangers, I'd really want to know that that was the way you felt. And it would likely alter or end the relationship. If you were the friend in question, then there have been literally dozens of times that you have been on the receiving end of my opinion that cabs are a freakin waste of money, especially when they aren't needed, and when you're so "broke" you can barely make it to the next paycheque. These two are well aware that we think they can be immature with their money - I just didn't happen to specifically state it to them for this specific incident. But I assure you, this sort of thing happens a lot, and I usually voice my honest opinion. I'm a very "No BS" type person. And for the record, it's not the fact that they took a cab and lost the bus pass that I'm ranting about. I admit that is an unfortunate situation that could happen to anyone...What I find amusing is that in wasting money on something they didn't need, they ended up losing (and will have to again purchase) something that they needed to help them save money for the remainder of the month. And what makes it so ironic is that they don't see it that way. They just see it as "yet another thing that has gone wrong in our lives". They also feel the need to whine "poor us" to me, when I've made it clear to them I think taking cabs when they don't need to is a dumb and quick way to waste money. I do respect your opinion, I just want to make sure you don't think I'm all super nice to their face, but then go write these things on the message board.
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Post by cytoglycerine on Feb 8, 2011 16:50:04 GMT -5
It is often easier to feel closer to people who are in the same situation as you and have similiar values and beliefs as you do. Generally our friends are all professionals who have been more or less responsible with their money. At least they appear that way. Then one couple got a divorce and all their dirty laundry got spilled out on the table for all of us to see. It was a big sham - no money, lots of debt, etc. etc. But, yes, we don't spend a lot of time with people who are constantly tripping over their own untied financial shoelaces. We also don't spend time with people who have drastically different values in other areas as well. I find it hard to find people who are similar-minded to myself financially...Other than the odd person here and there, you guys are the only money-sane people I know!! I know I probably come off like I hate my friends. I don't. We've been friends for many years, and they're like a little brother & sister to us. Outside of finances, we have a lot in common. We just can't wrap my mind around a lot of their financial decisions.
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Post by cytoglycerine on Feb 8, 2011 16:55:22 GMT -5
Hi Cyto! Thanks for the story! If you live in the midwest, you can give that couple my phone number--for $1400 in cab fares, I will personally drive them wherever they need to go next month--LOL! What a great part-time job!!! P.S. Thinking happy thoughts for you in you battle with cancer. Close relative just found out this month they are cancer free, so we need to "pass the baton" to you now. Thanks for the well-wishes, Busymom! Everything is going well so far, just waiting to hear about radiation. I have an appointment with my endocrinologist tomorrow afternoon, so I will find out what's going on then Ps - I live in Ontario (Canada), so I don't think your part time cab-driving gig will work out! ;D
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shelby
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Post by shelby on Feb 8, 2011 17:13:43 GMT -5
'Everyone has foolish follies - some are financial, some are of other bents."
Exactly this whole post seems so rigid and judgemental
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vonnie6200
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Adopt a Shelter Pet
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Post by vonnie6200 on Feb 8, 2011 17:37:56 GMT -5
As we listen to them in stunned disbelief and cry realising they are going to reproduce. And vote!
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Post by tea4me on Feb 8, 2011 17:49:49 GMT -5
'Everyone has foolish follies - some are financial, some are of other bents." Exactly this whole post seems so rigid and judgemental Judgmental = my favorite word. How does one be non-judgmental?
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shelby
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Post by shelby on Feb 8, 2011 18:11:13 GMT -5
I guess you can't since I am being judgmental of this being judgmental thread. But seriously what a ridiculous reason to criticize a friend, for losing her bus pass in a cab really?
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Post by cytoglycerine on Feb 8, 2011 18:37:10 GMT -5
I guess you can't since I am being judgmental of this being judgmental thread. But seriously what a ridiculous reason to criticize a friend, for losing her bus pass in a cab really? Again, for the record, I will post what I was being critical of, and it was NOT simply because the bus pass was lost or the cab ride was taken...From post #40, which was posted before both your posts. It's the whole irony of the situation I was attempting to comment on, hence the title of the thread. If it was just because I thought my friend was dumb for taking a cab and losing the pass, I would probably have chosen a thread title like "Dumb friend loses bus pass on cab ride". And then, yeah, I'd be a pretty lousy person.
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Sharon
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Post by Sharon on Feb 8, 2011 19:19:48 GMT -5
I have a co-worker who is walking or riding his bike to work everyday because he can not afford to get his car fixed. I also cover his desk for 3 hours in the morning and when he is on vacation. The credit card companies (yes plural) are calling several times a day. Yet he shows up every day with something for breakfast that he stopped in on the way to work and purchased (whatever is leftover is tossed) and eats lunch out every day.
If a person can't vent, rant or share a story on an anonymous message board what is the point.
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Plain Old Petunia
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bloom where you are planted
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Post by Plain Old Petunia on Feb 8, 2011 19:37:23 GMT -5
I'm of the stringent belief that if you can't afford to neuter your pet, or take it to the vet when it's sick, then you can't afford the pet. Much like how if you can't afford to take your car in for the scheduled maintenance, or get the brakes replaced when needed, then you can't afford the car. This is the first time I have ever given someone karma. Yes, absolutely. If you can't afford to care for your pet properly, then you can't afford your pet.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 8, 2011 20:15:33 GMT -5
Sorry, but this always gets me peevish. Have the dignity for yourself and others to just STOP being friends with people you despise and ridiculing them behind their back. If you wouldn't feel comfortable showing the friend or relative what you've written here - don't write it. In my opinion, this always reflects more on the speaker than the spoken about. At no point does cyto call them friends. They are the couple that hangs around. And I'm not ridiculing them. I don't know them. There is not a chance of them having a negative repurcussion because I know they lost their cheap bus pass while taking an expensive taxi. As for me, there is nothing I have said behind anyone's back that is worse than what I have said to their face. Now! I have this friend that makes a big point buying and bragging about getting the expensive version of everything but doesn't see how that grandiosity means she gets less. For example she made a big deal of bragging about getting the state room on a cruise she was planning to take rather than the cheap inner room like I got. Then tells me she is cancelling the plans to go cause she can't afford it! It might have been a cheap room but I actually went lol!
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Post by cytoglycerine on Feb 8, 2011 20:21:06 GMT -5
I'm of the stringent belief that if you can't afford to neuter your pet, or take it to the vet when it's sick, then you can't afford the pet. Much like how if you can't afford to take your car in for the scheduled maintenance, or get the brakes replaced when needed, then you can't afford the car. This is the first time I have ever given someone karma. Yes, absolutely. If you can't afford to care for your pet properly, then you can't afford your pet. Cool! Thanks I shall return the favour!!
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Post by cytoglycerine on Feb 8, 2011 20:24:20 GMT -5
Ya know. I've been thinking about this for a few hours today. If Cyto finds a reprieve in this board, or anywhere else for that matter, while dealing with CANCER, then all means, I say let her! Thanks!! ;D But I must admit that (so far) it hasn't really been that bad...And I was up to this kind of shenanigans before I got the diagnosis...But it is suspected that I lived with the cancer for years before diagnosis, so yes, my behaviour is all the cancer's fault Karma coming your way as soon as the little "Exalt" button re-appears - Need to wait for a recharge because I just gave some to Petunia.
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hurley1980
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I am all that is wrong with the world....don't get too close, I'm contagious.
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Post by hurley1980 on Feb 8, 2011 20:25:22 GMT -5
Ya know. I've been thinking about this for a few hours today. If Cyto finds a reprieve in this board, or anywhere else for that matter, while dealing with CANCER, then all means, I say let her! InsuranceGal - karma for this post. Cyto, I will send you karma when I can for your good fight! I once had a couple with 4 kids and another on the way ask to borrow $800 to keep their utilities on. I told them I couldnt afford it, but when I went to their house the next week, they had a brand new computer, mixer, guitar, and amp (husband was attempting to get into music). Last I heard they were all living off the moms student loans while she was attempting to go back to school for the 8th time.... Needless to say, we don't talk anymore.
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Post by cytoglycerine on Feb 8, 2011 20:33:27 GMT -5
At no point does cyto call them friends. While it is true that in my OP I did not refer to them as friends (I think it kinda ruins the story-telling mood I attempt to set), they actually are my friends. But as I've made reference to, it's not like they don't know I think they're ridiculous with their money decisions sometimes. Now! I have this friend that makes a big point buying and bragging about getting the expensive version of everything but doesn't see how that grandiosity means she gets less. For example she made a big deal of bragging about getting the state room on a cruise she was planning to take rather than the cheap inner room like I got. Then tells me she is cancelling the plans to go cause she can't afford it! It might have been a cheap room but I actually went lol! Hahaha, too funny!! I'm going on a cruise very soon, too! We originally tossed around the idea of keeping it cheap and going with an inner stateroom, but we eventually decided we really wanted the balcony. We figured that since this is a combination "Yay I survived cancer" and "Yay I graduated college" trip, it was acceptable for us to splurge on the balcony stateroom. I guess the difference is I already have our cruise fare in my hot little hands...I'm not waiting on some magical windfall, or just planning on "winging it" that month with the budget
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Post by cytoglycerine on Feb 8, 2011 20:42:20 GMT -5
Cyto, I will send you karma when I can for your good fight! Hooray!! Karma for everyone! ;D Last I heard they were all living off the moms student loans while she was attempting to go back to school for the 8th time.... Needless to say, we don't talk anymore. Holy crap, the 8th time?!? For real, or are you exaggerating? And she's getting student loans too??? Does that mean she's already got 7 sets of student loans?!? Jeeeeeez....Even I managed to finish post-secondary on my FIFTH attempt!! Honestly....
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Post by cytoglycerine on Feb 8, 2011 20:49:47 GMT -5
On a personal note: My Dad has gone through cancer twice, and has prevailed. Keep up the fight! Thanks for the kind words!! It hasn't been that bad, and my chances of actually dying from this are slim to none. I have what is sometimes referred to as the "best" kind of cancer you can have - papillary thyroid cancer to be exact. My endocrinologist says there's a 5% chance of mortality over the next 25 years, and let's be realistic, there was probably at least a 5% chance I was going to die from something at some point over the next 25 years anyway. However, I must admit that as "easy" as this has been, I would NOT want to do it twice. Your father is a very brave man, as he undoubtedly had a more difficult type of cancer than I do.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 8, 2011 21:38:40 GMT -5
At no point does cyto call them friends. While it is true that in my OP I did not refer to them as friends (I think it kinda ruins the story-telling mood I attempt to set), they actually are my friends. But as I've made reference to, it's not like they don't know I think they're ridiculous with their money decisions sometimes. Work with me here!
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Post by cytoglycerine on Feb 8, 2011 21:50:54 GMT -5
While it is true that in my OP I did not refer to them as friends (I think it kinda ruins the story-telling mood I attempt to set), they actually are my friends. But as I've made reference to, it's not like they don't know I think they're ridiculous with their money decisions sometimes. Work with me here! Ohhhh....Yeah...They're not my friends *touches nose*
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Cookies Galore
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I don't need no instructions to know how to rock
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Post by Cookies Galore on Feb 8, 2011 21:59:34 GMT -5
I'll tell you what, it SUCKS losing your transit pass! I lost my November pass during the first week of the month. Totally my drunk fault (I blame the tailgate party!), but it still really smarted because it SUCKED!
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Apple
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Always travel with a sense of humor
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Post by Apple on Feb 9, 2011 0:51:51 GMT -5
Cyto, glad to hear things are going well. The iodine pill isn't that bad, but you're supposed to sleep by yourself for a night or two so you don't give anyone an x-ray... Hope your thyroid-dose-finding process is quick and easy. Other than taking the pill every morning the only other thing I have to do is walk up to my pharmacist and tell him "the usual, please." Hope your recovery continues smoothly!
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Post by cytoglycerine on Feb 9, 2011 8:50:51 GMT -5
Thanks Apple! ;D
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hurley1980
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I am all that is wrong with the world....don't get too close, I'm contagious.
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Post by hurley1980 on Feb 9, 2011 12:54:38 GMT -5
Holy crap, the 8th time?!? For real, or are you exaggerating? And she's getting student loans too??? Does that mean she's already got 7 sets of student loans?!? Jeeeeeez....Even I managed to finish post-secondary on my FIFTH attempt!! Honestly.... Read more: notmsnmoney.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=finance&action=display&thread=3053&page=2#ixzz1DU8W3271Haha, okay....I am exaggerating just a little. She has a bachelors that she got in the 90's. I don't know if there are student loans or not. I never asked. But I do know that since she obtained that bachelors, this is at least the 4th time she's attempting to go back for her masters. She keeps changing her mind about what she wants to do. The way she is going, she's never going to finish. And considering there are 5 kids in the marriage, and he is not working, and she is indecisive, living off student loans to support a family of 7 is one of the stupidest ideas I've ever heard. I know they are in a LCOL area now, but how cheap can it be?!?! This is just one of many many MANY stupid financial decisions they have made, and I pretty much did away with the friendship when they had the nerve to ask me for $800 and then flaunted all their new electronics! What kind of people do that?
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dianartemis
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God made me and started laughing
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Post by dianartemis on Feb 9, 2011 14:05:59 GMT -5
What kind of people do that? Financial idiots.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 10, 2011 11:21:03 GMT -5
Thanks!! ;D But I must admit that (so far) it hasn't really been that bad...And I was up to this kind of shenanigans before I got the diagnosis...But it is suspected that I lived with the cancer for years before diagnosis, so yes, my behaviour is all the cancer's fault Karma coming your way as soon as the little "Exalt" button re-appears - Need to wait for a recharge because I just gave some to Petunia. Thank u, Cyto. On a personal note: My Dad has gone through cancer twice, and has prevailed. Keep up the fight! More Karma for Insurancegal!! My mom had to get her thyroid out Cyto, and has been fine and I hope everything will be fine for you too Cyto.
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