Jaguar
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Fear does not stop death. It stops life.
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death
Dec 31, 2012 23:37:44 GMT -5
Post by Jaguar on Dec 31, 2012 23:37:44 GMT -5
I was badgering my son when he was little to eat better as he was a picky eater. And, i "made" him sit at the table or choose to eat something one day. And, it was a battle. It later turned out that he had celiac's disease and hadn't been feeling good and i felt terrible. And, when DH wasn't feeling good i was telling him he needed to get up off the couch, blah, blah and then we found out he had mono or some other kind of viral thing. Yeah those are the stupid/silly poopy mistakes that everyone makes. When I was going through those pain attacks my mom was yelling at me. I couldn't move and she's yelling at me. she just didn't know and there's no crime in that. It's just one of those things. Shit happens, yanno.
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Deleted
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death
Dec 31, 2012 23:39:31 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Dec 31, 2012 23:39:31 GMT -5
Yes. And, i guess we just have to assume the best of people and that they have our best interests in mind. There are times when you do have to push someone.
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Jaguar
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Fear does not stop death. It stops life.
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death
Dec 31, 2012 23:47:49 GMT -5
Post by Jaguar on Dec 31, 2012 23:47:49 GMT -5
Yeah those are the stupid/silly poopy mistakes that everyone makes. When I was going through those pain attacks my mom was yelling at me. I couldn't move and she's yelling at me. she just didn't know and there's no crime in that. It's just one of those things. Shit happens, yanno. I don't know how old you are, but you mentioned your mom, so I'm wondering if this started with you when you were young? The blood disorder showed itself just before my 6th birthday, in 1969. Her yelling was a one off thing I think she was more scared than anything else, and that happened in Christmas 1991.
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Deleted
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death
Dec 31, 2012 23:49:21 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Dec 31, 2012 23:49:21 GMT -5
Yes it does. And, it also forgives. You forgive the flaws of friends and family. My son and i had a big blowup the other day. He just turned 17. But, after a period of avoiding each other, we hugged and i told him that the slate is wiped clean and that since God forgives completely, we need to forgive one another as "far as the east is from the west" We hugged and it was over. Some people choose to carry grudges. I want to teach him not to.
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Jaguar
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Fear does not stop death. It stops life.
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death
Dec 31, 2012 23:51:10 GMT -5
Post by Jaguar on Dec 31, 2012 23:51:10 GMT -5
Yes it does. And, it also forgives. You forgive the flaws of friends and family. My son and i had a big blowup the other day. He just turned 17. But, after a period of avoiding each other, we hugged and i told him that the slate is wiped clean and that since God forgives completely, we need to forgive one another as "far as the east is from the west" We hugged and it was over. Some people choose to carry grudges. I want to teach him not to. And that's really good to keep the lines of communication open.
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mmhmm
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It's a great pity the right of free speech isn't based on the obligation to say something sensible.
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death
Dec 31, 2012 23:51:59 GMT -5
Post by mmhmm on Dec 31, 2012 23:51:59 GMT -5
Yes, good points. But why is it selfish to want long for and want to be with the ones you love? My mom is now under hospice care. And we have been down a long road the past year. I have talked to and called my mom DAILY almost my entire life. She is my best friend. And, now she cannot and that pains me that i have am slowly losing the one person in the world who is interested in how many tackles my son had or what songs dd is playing on her clarinet. I understand, shooby. I have my mother here, and am watching her slowly deteriorate. That's the one thing she didn't want ... to "linger". It just plain hurts to have to watch it happen. By the way ... I care how many tackles your son had AND what songs dd is playing on her clarinet. I honestly do! I care because I know you care. That's what people do, if they'll just quit worrying about it and allow themselves to do so.
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Jaguar
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death
Dec 31, 2012 23:54:46 GMT -5
Post by Jaguar on Dec 31, 2012 23:54:46 GMT -5
The blood disorder showed itself just before my 6th birthday, in 1969. Her yelling was a one off thing I think she was more scared than anything else, and that happened in Christmas 1991. So young. What were the first symptoms? Weakness, no strength. It happened I think it was Good Friday, 1969. I was taken by my sister's to The Hospital for Sick Children's in Toronto, Canada and from there I got all the best in everything.
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death
Dec 31, 2012 23:55:24 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Dec 31, 2012 23:55:24 GMT -5
Thanks mmhmm. I appreciate that. We went up tonight to visit mom. It is very hard on dd who is only 11. It scares her because my mom is in the dementia unit is calling out "help", etc. If i go in before them, i can reorient her and she recognizes me, then i call in the kids. But sometimes when we walk in we can hear her calling and that is very upsetting for her. I just want her to remember "Gram" as the woman who would have done anything for them and the woman who made things "special" . Who had a knack for making the ordinary into an event.
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Jaguar
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Fear does not stop death. It stops life.
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death
Dec 31, 2012 23:57:19 GMT -5
Post by Jaguar on Dec 31, 2012 23:57:19 GMT -5
Thanks mmhmm. I appreciate that. We went up tonight to visit mom. It is very hard on dd who is only 11. It scares her because my mom is in the dementia unit is calling out "help", etc. If i go in before them, i can reorient her and she recognizes me, then i call in the kids. But sometimes when we walk in we can hear her calling and that is very upsetting for her. I just want her to remember "Gram" as the woman who would have done anything for them and the woman who made things "special" . Who had a knack for making the ordinary into an event. Shooby you do that now I feel. So your DD sees that now in you.
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Jaguar
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death
Dec 31, 2012 23:59:10 GMT -5
Post by Jaguar on Dec 31, 2012 23:59:10 GMT -5
Happy New Year Lone and Many Blessings, Much Love & Peace in 2013.
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Jaguar
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death
Jan 1, 2013 0:00:02 GMT -5
Post by Jaguar on Jan 1, 2013 0:00:02 GMT -5
This might be a death thread, but it's more of a therapy thread.
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mmhmm
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death
Jan 1, 2013 0:01:33 GMT -5
Post by mmhmm on Jan 1, 2013 0:01:33 GMT -5
Oh, dear, shooby. I really do understand. My father was severely demented at the end of his life, and died after falling and breaking his leg in a nursing home. It wasn't the staff's fault. They can't restrain, and he got out of his wheelchair and fell. It was just sad; however, he finally passed after the surgery for the broken femur. It was a blessing for him, and for the rest of us. He'd not been himself for quite some time. Mother still has her faculties, for the most part. She's forgetful, but that's to be expected at her age. She reorients easily and holds it pretty well. She's blind, and mostly deaf, and her mobility is severely impaired. I'm fortunate to be able to keep her at home, but don't know how much longer that will be safely possible. We just take one day at a time. I'm sorry for your dd. It's hard on the kids because they're too young to really understand.
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mmhmm
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death
Jan 1, 2013 0:03:15 GMT -5
Post by mmhmm on Jan 1, 2013 0:03:15 GMT -5
This might be a death thread, but it's more of a therapy thread. Most threads on this subject end up being sharing (or, therapy) threads, Sugi. Death is something we all face, sooner or later. The death of loved ones, of friends, of acquaintances ... even of strangers ... impacts us profoundly. None of us is going to get out of this alive, so talking about it can be freeing in a lot of ways.
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Green Eyed Lady
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Look inna eye! Always look inna eye!
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death
Jan 1, 2013 0:03:20 GMT -5
Post by Green Eyed Lady on Jan 1, 2013 0:03:20 GMT -5
I'm not afraid of dying, but I am afraid of causing my family pain during the process. My father died a lingering, ugly death and I was terrified he was going to take my mother with him. I don't want to cause that pain for anyone. He wouldn't have wanted it either.
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mmhmm
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death
Jan 1, 2013 0:04:19 GMT -5
Post by mmhmm on Jan 1, 2013 0:04:19 GMT -5
Good night, lonewolf. Happy New Year to you and yours, and to you all!
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Jaguar
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death
Jan 1, 2013 0:08:07 GMT -5
Post by Jaguar on Jan 1, 2013 0:08:07 GMT -5
Many Blessings, Much Love, Peace and Luck in 2013 to Everyone.
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death
Jan 1, 2013 0:13:44 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Jan 1, 2013 0:13:44 GMT -5
Oh, dear, shooby. I really do understand. My father was severely demented at the end of his life, and died after falling and breaking his leg in a nursing home. It wasn't the staff's fault. They can't restrain, and he got out of his wheelchair and fell. It was just sad; however, he finally passed after the surgery for the broken femur. It was a blessing for him, and for the rest of us. He'd not been himself for quite some time. Mother still has her faculties, for the most part. She's forgetful, but that's to be expected at her age. She reorients easily and holds it pretty well. She's blind, and mostly deaf, and her mobility is severely impaired. I'm fortunate to be able to keep her at home, but don't know how much longer that will be safely possible. We just take one day at a time. I'm sorry for your dd. It's hard on the kids because they're too young to really understand. Thanks mmhmm. I used to ask "why", but i KNOW that it is God's way of easing her out of this world for my benefit because i couldn't have handled something sudden and unexpected as happened with my dad.
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beags
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I'm not a psychopath. I'm a high functioning sociopath, do your research.
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death
Jan 1, 2013 0:51:25 GMT -5
Post by beags on Jan 1, 2013 0:51:25 GMT -5
Wow, my thread turned into something I can't relate to. That is odd.
As for the earlier question . . I don't fear dying, regardless of how it happens or how painful it may be. I hate living. I don't know how to explain that, I just do.
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ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ
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death
Jan 1, 2013 1:11:33 GMT -5
Post by ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ on Jan 1, 2013 1:11:33 GMT -5
Can we move THIS ONE to the religious area? Or merge it with the evil thread? Why? Fear of death or fear of living is neither evil or religious. It's a state of being or mental health. I think if it belongs anywhere, this is probably the best place for it to be discussed and the feedback from others may help the OP or any others. ~SL~ Mod
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beags
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I'm not a psychopath. I'm a high functioning sociopath, do your research.
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death
Jan 1, 2013 1:25:33 GMT -5
Post by beags on Jan 1, 2013 1:25:33 GMT -5
I don't fear living either. At this point, it's just something that must be endured until I'm granted my death.
People have gone insane and I no longer want any part of this life. Well I guess I can't really say that either, as I'm not going to kill myself. I tried that twice now, didn't work, I couldn't do it. IT's not that I feared death. I didn't, I just didn't want my immediate family to be left with questions or guilt. If I die naturally, it won't be suicide and they won't blame themselves.
So I just have to endure this planet full of people who only want to hate until I die. Death will be welcome, but with the way my life goes . . I will be granted my death when the world sees the destructive path it's on and starts changing it.
I wasn't lying, I hate living.
The first thing people want to do is bully. or hate, there's no compassion in our world. The litttle that is left is over ruled by the people full of hate.
There is no hope for humanity ... . I see it more on the message boards than I do in real life. But it's there in real life as well. When hate starts to overrule good, it's time to embrace death.
So I don't fear death, I don't fear living . . I hate living at the moment, but I don't fear it. I don't like how humanity has turned out. When we can't find compassion or understanding of another human, it's simply time to throw in the towel and wait for death. Why? because death is better than this hell on earth.
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ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ
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death
Jan 1, 2013 1:36:05 GMT -5
Post by ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ on Jan 1, 2013 1:36:05 GMT -5
Beags, maybe you need to change your focus. Right now it's centered on all the bad in the world. You can change that with small acts of your own that cost little or nothing. Give a person in line at the grocery store the extra couple of dollars they need to meet their purchase. Buy one extra bag of rice or pkg of mac & cheese and donate it to a food pantry. Give clothes you no longer need to an organization that helps clothe those in need. Smile at a stanger as you pass them in the street - you'd be surprised at how many smiles you receive in return.
It will fill your heart with a reason - and you WILL feel better about living.
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death
Jan 1, 2013 1:48:35 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Jan 1, 2013 1:48:35 GMT -5
Nothingness, I think, is another thing people fear about death. Nothingness is incomprehensible because in order to comprehend it, there has to be something there to do the comprehending. The "The Denial Of Death", oft-cited by my learned associate Tosh, is a Pulitzer Prize-winning work by Ernest Becker which is probably quite relevant. The basic premise of The Denial of Death is that human civilization is ultimately an elaborate, symbolic defense mechanism against the knowledge of our mortality
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Denial_of_Death
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mmhmm
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It's a great pity the right of free speech isn't based on the obligation to say something sensible.
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death
Jan 1, 2013 2:17:31 GMT -5
Post by mmhmm on Jan 1, 2013 2:17:31 GMT -5
Frankly, I don't give death much thought. We're born dying. That's a fact of life. It just doesn't bother me. I don't like the pain and misery so often associated with the act of dying, but the dying itself is the natural result of being born. It's not something to fear, as I see it.
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Spellbound454
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death
Jan 1, 2013 4:58:00 GMT -5
Post by Spellbound454 on Jan 1, 2013 4:58:00 GMT -5
I've lost loved ones... and its hard, especially at Christmas when you know people who shared your past aren't going to be there......but sometimes things are tough, you just paint on a smile and get on with it. I reckon if you can get through the tough times, and force yourself to function even if you don't want to..........everything else is like a breeze....
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Reckless Roselia
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death
Jan 1, 2013 7:20:56 GMT -5
Post by Reckless Roselia on Jan 1, 2013 7:20:56 GMT -5
Can we move THIS ONE to the religious area? Or merge it with the evil thread? Why? Fear of death or fear of living is neither evil or religious. It's a state of being or mental health.I think if it belongs anywhere, this is probably the best place for it to be discussed and the feedback from others may help the OP or any others. ~SL~ Mod I also believe the fear of death may be an innate fear to a degree.
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cranberry49
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death
Jan 1, 2013 8:09:28 GMT -5
Post by cranberry49 on Jan 1, 2013 8:09:28 GMT -5
I don't fear living either. At this point, it's just something that must be endured until I'm granted my death. People have gone insane and I no longer want any part of this life. Well I guess I can't really say that either, as I'm not going to kill myself. I tried that twice now, didn't work, I couldn't do it. IT's not that I feared death. I didn't, I just didn't want my immediate family to be left with questions or guilt. If I die naturally, it won't be suicide and they won't blame themselves. So I just have to endure this planet full of people who only want to hate until I die. Death will be welcome, but with the way my life goes . . I will be granted my death when the world sees the destructive path it's on and starts changing it. I wasn't lying, I hate living. The first thing people want to do is bully. or hate, there's no compassion in our world. The litttle that is left is over ruled by the people full of hate. There is no hope for humanity ... . I see it more on the message boards than I do in real life. But it's there in real life as well. When hate starts to overrule good, it's time to embrace death. So I don't fear death, I don't fear living . . I hate living at the moment, but I don't fear it. I don't like how humanity has turned out. When we can't find compassion or understanding of another human, it's simply time to throw in the towel and wait for death. Why? because death is better than this hell on earth. \ Beags, I sometimes (quite often in fact) share your sentiments. However, I have children and grandchildren whom I love and love me dearly in return. For them, I find happiness in life. Winter is my hardest time. I have been diagnosed with SAD. (Seasonal affective disorder) I also have suffered from clinical depression for many, many, years. I have taken almost every kind of medicine known for this. Long story and I won't bore you, or others with the details. Now, I am simply on Prozac and it helps a lot ....except in Winter. Argh! But, I know it will get better with the change of seasons. Ok, I just rambled on...My point is that you sound like you are suffering from depression, hon. Please go see your doctor! Even with all the ugliness in the world (and yes! granted there is a lot) You can still feel joy if you get the chemicals in your head balanced like it should be. I hope I have not offended you in any way, I just had to share this because I know the symptoms. Take care and always, always, talk to others (as you are doing here!) This really helps a lot!
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death
Jan 1, 2013 8:56:29 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Jan 1, 2013 8:56:29 GMT -5
I've lost loved ones... and its hard, especially at Christmas when you know people who shared your past aren't going to be there......but sometimes things are tough, you just paint on a smile and get on with it. I reckon if you can get through the tough times, and force yourself to function even if you don't want to..........everything else is like a breeze.... Good points Spell. I have the same sense of loss at the holidays. The people who have already passed out of my life. That many of those holiday memories are now just memories of going to grandma's and rounds to visit relatives that are no longer with us.
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Deleted
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death
Jan 1, 2013 9:11:55 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Jan 1, 2013 9:11:55 GMT -5
Beags, maybe you need to change your focus. Right now it's centered on all the bad in the world. You can change that with small acts of your own that cost little or nothing. Give a person in line at the grocery store the extra couple of dollars they need to meet their purchase. Buy one extra bag of rice or pkg of mac & cheese and donate it to a food pantry. Give clothes you no longer need to an organization that helps clothe those in need. Smile at a stanger as you pass them in the street - you'd be surprised at how many smiles you receive in return. It will fill your heart with a reason - and you WILL feel better about living. Lassie, to you.
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Deleted
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death
Jan 1, 2013 9:13:37 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Jan 1, 2013 9:13:37 GMT -5
Frankly, I don't give death much thought. We're born dying. That's a fact of life. It just doesn't bother me. I don't like the pain and misery so often associated with the act of dying, but the dying itself is the natural result of being born. It's not something to fear, as I see it. mmhmm
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Deleted
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death
Jan 1, 2013 9:16:48 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Jan 1, 2013 9:16:48 GMT -5
I have SAD, and Winter is rough on me too. Normally our area gets a lot of sun, so if I am willing to go sit outside in the freezing cold it helps. If not, it's taking the vit D for me, but even it sometimes doesn't help. If we were willing to leave the grand kids and our home, we'd probably find a second home for the Winters. Instead of finding a second home could you instead just take an annual winter trip to a sunny, warm place? Go and take a week or two and recharge your batteries. That would be a lot cheaper than a second house.
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