What do my feelings mean?

[Deleted]

Dec 20, 2012 10:19:22 GMT -5 @beerwench said:

And as for grandchildren....there's no guarantee that my kids are going to have kids and I would NEVER guilt them in to thinking that they even HAVE to.

A mom not guilting her kids...... I'll beleive it when I see it.

[Deleted]

Hey now! All I said is that I'm not going to guilt them into having children.

[Deleted]

It is your life and decision. I personally could NOT imagine going throughout life without children. I really would have felt devestated by that. And, maybe not so much now while you are in the thick of career, education, life, but later in life to watch my kids grow up and see them as adults and have that connection.

[Deleted]

And, i love the chaos of my home. The kids coming and going. Their friends. Feeding their friends. Shuffling people around. Watching the kids learn and excel at things like sports and musics. Just joking around and giving my big 6;4" son a hug. Stuff like that.

[spicyhotpepper]

Dec 19, 2012 23:25:41 GMT -5 Lizard Queen said:

Dec 19, 2012 14:52:45 GMT -5 spicyhotpepper said:

So my entire life up until the past few years I've never wanted children. Lately, I've opened up to the possibility. I am 33. I just found out yesterday that my younger sister is pregnant. My older sister has one child. I am the middle child.

I love being able to do what I want when I want- travel, sleep in, go shopping, etc. A small part of me thinks a family would be nice and I know my husband really wants one (he has always known my feelings about kids). However, since hearing the news, I am happy for them but for some reason feel sad and down, like I am missing out or something.

My sister and I are fairly close and part of me is sad because she never told me they were trying and she made her husband tell me and the rest of the family the news and didn't do it herself (I'm not quite sure why.. I think she's freaking out). Also, she won't return my calls or texts either to congratulate her. Again, it seems as if she's having a hard time with something..

Anyhow, having an interest in psychology and the human mind, I wonder if my logical, consious mind wants to stay child-free, but my emotional, subconsious mind really does want them, hense the sadness. I wonder if my feelings are trying to tell me something or if this is just nature's way of trying to keep the human race going. What say you? Is there any way to figure out what I really want? I feel stuck and time is slowly running out.

Have you talked to your husband about your feelings? It could be that you're at a fork in the road, and you see so many others take a different path away from you. (Those big crossroads always seem to make me sad.) Or it could be fear that this could hurt your relationship with your husband. Since, as you say, he really wants a family, this could lead to resentment or even his leaving you for someone to start a family with. (Or, if you went ahead and started a family with him, he could change his mind and leave you as someone else mentioned.) Sorry to bring up that possibility--it's just that I've seen it happen.

I haven't talked to him about it yet. I did tell him a few years ago that my mind has opened to the possibility of kids so he's up-to-date on that. I think I will talk to him soon. I just know it will get his hopes up so am a little hesitant because of that.

[Deleted]

I don't know about me being devastated if I never had kids. Maybe because I didn't want them for so long it wasn't a "be all or end all" for me.

[spicyhotpepper]

Thanks everyone for all the good feedback. It has given me alot of things to think about.

[Sam_2.0]

You know what they say. Kids are like farts. You don't mind your own but you REALLY can't stand someone else's.

[spicyhotpepper]

Dec 20, 2012 10:35:13 GMT -5 Sam_2.0 said:

You know what they say. Kids are like farts. You don't mind your own but you REALLY can't stand someone else's.

I haven't heard that one before, haha!