thyme4change
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Dec 10, 2012 12:16:58 GMT -5
Post by thyme4change on Dec 10, 2012 12:16:58 GMT -5
Yes - their house wasn't that bad. Not even close.
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Dec 10, 2012 12:28:27 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Dec 10, 2012 12:28:27 GMT -5
We are all average at some things and below and/or above at other things. If your friend is working and her spouse is home, then she probably doesn't have time to do the cleaning. Or, maybe it is more of a priority to you. I don't think of it as a question of averages but of priorities. Right now, i have 3 kids playing basketball, plus coaching and working and other things going on. So, keeping the house neat and tidy right now is falling by the wayside. Not so much a priority. But, when i do clean it, i will do a thorough job. ummm if her spouse is at home and the kids are in school all day, he should be cleaning....and clearly he's not. and I think there's a world of difference between things not being neat and tidy and what the OP listed. I hate clutter so I try to keep things picked up. My kids, however, don't share my affliction....but as long as they keep most of their stuff in their room (and their room is several steps above being condemned by the health department), I'm good. We usually have dishes in the sink as my kids seem to think that's the final stop rather than the dishwasher. My cleaning person comes every other week so everything stays clean enough between visits.
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cael
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Dec 10, 2012 12:32:30 GMT -5
Post by cael on Dec 10, 2012 12:32:30 GMT -5
ummm if her spouse is at home and the kids are in school all day, he should be cleaning....and clearly he's not. This is how I feel about my brother's deadbeat loser girlfriend, who isn't working right now... and there's chinchilla shit all over their apartment. She doesn't do anything, it's disgustingly dirty messy, not just cluttery messy. It wouldn't take more than 20 minutes to do a basic cleaning of the bathroom but why would she want to do that when she can sit on her ass and play video games while my brother continues to enable her....
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thyme4change
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Dec 10, 2012 12:37:38 GMT -5
Post by thyme4change on Dec 10, 2012 12:37:38 GMT -5
Yes, before I knew their house was messy. This time I realized it was dirty. There is a difference.
When my kids were little and my husband and I both were working crazy hours, I remember having a minimum standard for things - the dishes needed to be cleaned, because having old food sitting around was super-gross. Dirty clothes needed to be contained, because they smell, and that is gross. And the trash needed to be emptied - diapers, smelly, food waste, gross, smelly, yuck. If I could keep those three things under control - then the place was just "messy." Granted, our cleaning lady came every 2 weeks and made sure there was nothing growing in the toilet, and the floor got clean. So, technically, there was more on my list than just dishes, clothes and trash. But my three were daily.
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zibazinski
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Dec 10, 2012 12:49:34 GMT -5
Post by zibazinski on Dec 10, 2012 12:49:34 GMT -5
I wouldn't want to live like that, let alone have other people see it.
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sheilaincali
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Dec 10, 2012 12:50:56 GMT -5
Post by sheilaincali on Dec 10, 2012 12:50:56 GMT -5
We are probably average. Our common rooms are always clean and ready for company. DS' room gets a little cluttered from time to time and we don't always make the bed but I couldn't go to sleep at night if my house was super messy or dirty. I don't care for clutter at all.
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thyme4change
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Dec 10, 2012 12:55:30 GMT -5
Post by thyme4change on Dec 10, 2012 12:55:30 GMT -5
She texted me right as I was pulling onto her street and said "Can your daughter stay another hour, and then I will drop her home?" Later my husband said "I bet she texted because she was embarrassed to have you over." I didn't even think that - but he might very well be right. He often is (but don't tell him I know that.)
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happyhoix
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Dec 10, 2012 12:59:10 GMT -5
Post by happyhoix on Dec 10, 2012 12:59:10 GMT -5
I think there are regional differences, too, especially when you talk about yard work.
My mom lived in a suburb in Ohio where grass was really, really important. She had her yard torn out and resodded because some dandilions showed up. If you transported my yard to her neighborhood, it would stand out, and not for good reasons - I have weeds in the front yard. Plenty of dandilions.
However where I live, in a rural area in the South, my yard stands out for good reasons. House lots are at least 2 acres, and most are partly wooded. My yard is mostly green, even if it has weeds - many others in our neighborhood have big bare patches, due to the heat and dry weather we tend to have in the summer. My neighbor directly to the left of me has a yard that's about 60% dirt, primarily because someone in the family has a jeep and he likes to drive around in the yard (and park in the yard). They have lots of friends who also come over and park in the yard - sometimes twenty at a time. Added to that, for their holiday decorations they've put out two of those big inflatable things, only theirs don't stay inflated and so they kind of look like sad wilted used condoms most of the time.
So in my neighborhood, my yard looks awesome. In my mom's old neighborhood, I would be the person with the yard everyone else bitched about.
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Peace Of Mind
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Dec 10, 2012 13:10:29 GMT -5
Post by Peace Of Mind on Dec 10, 2012 13:10:29 GMT -5
I think we are average. We are neat and clean but don't follow people around with a vacuum when they are here. I've had people that I used to work with or met through friends who have visited say they are as clean/neat as we are. Then when we went to their place we were shocked at what we saw. Not Hoarders gross at all - but not as clean as I thought we were. DH would tell me later - their house is NOTHING like ours. I would say "Thank God! I thought I was the one in denial!" But most of our friends keep their houses neat and clean too and some in our family are like me.
We are told by neighbors and friends out here that we have one of the nicest yards. This is our hobby - gardening/landscaping (small scale) so it's not because we are above average. We just enjoy it.
What some of you are describing makes me want to throw up. I can't even watch Hoarders because it's just so disgusting - but to deal with that in real life would not be something I could ever do and you are much stronger than I. I have "gross out" issues and would probably say something as I ran screaming. ;D
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thyme4change
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Dec 10, 2012 13:10:30 GMT -5
Post by thyme4change on Dec 10, 2012 13:10:30 GMT -5
Oh lordy - don't even get me started on these people's lawns. I like them so much - I should shut my trap about their house. None of my business.
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Dec 10, 2012 13:20:59 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Dec 10, 2012 13:20:59 GMT -5
I'm a terrible housekeeper. My mom is ashamed. Our house isn't dirty but, more often than not, we're pulling clean clothes out of a pile that never got folded. Why does housekeeping have to be the benchmark? Can't we compare children or something? I wonder why others seem concerned about someone else's housekeeping? Like i know people who have to keep it clean because of their "mom" won't approve. Um, well, if my mom is paying my bills, fine but otherwise, my house, my standards or lack thereof!
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thyme4change
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Dec 10, 2012 13:22:51 GMT -5
Post by thyme4change on Dec 10, 2012 13:22:51 GMT -5
I'm not really judging these people by their cleaning skills. It was just something I noticed. They are really awesome. Generally, they come over to our house, or we go out. Their kids are great too.
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Peace Of Mind
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Dec 10, 2012 13:25:14 GMT -5
Post by Peace Of Mind on Dec 10, 2012 13:25:14 GMT -5
Maybe some of us just like not living like pigs. My childhood friend told me she was surprised I kept my house so clean. When I asked her why she said "Because your parents made you clean their house all of the time." I said "But now it's for me!" I guess she figured when I got out from under their stringent rules and from them giving me long lists every week of chores to do I'd run wild and live in a dirty house.
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Deleted
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Dec 10, 2012 13:31:24 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Dec 10, 2012 13:31:24 GMT -5
I'm a terrible housekeeper. My mom is ashamed. Our house isn't dirty but, more often than not, we're pulling clean clothes out of a pile that never got folded. Why does housekeeping have to be the benchmark? Can't we compare children or something? I wonder why others seem concerned about someone else's housekeeping? Like i know people who have to keep it clean because of their "mom" won't approve. Um, well, if my mom is paying my bills, fine but otherwise, my house, my standards or lack thereof! because when it borders on disgusting I don't want to be spending any time there. I was at someone's house and there was dog hair everywhere. I was afraid to eat anything (and it was a social event with food being served). clutter is fine but when you have pet hair, dishes all over the house that you know have been there for a week, overflowing litter box, etc., that's where it crosses over to nauseating.
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Deleted
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Dec 10, 2012 13:32:39 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Dec 10, 2012 13:32:39 GMT -5
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milee
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Dec 10, 2012 13:33:21 GMT -5
Post by milee on Dec 10, 2012 13:33:21 GMT -5
I think there's a pretty wide range of what should be considered normal and for anyone whose house falls within that range, we should stop being so hard on each other.
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thyme4change
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Dec 10, 2012 13:36:31 GMT -5
Post by thyme4change on Dec 10, 2012 13:36:31 GMT -5
My parents' house is OCD-spotless. It was how I grew up. Although I don't like cleaning, having the house too messy makes me crazy. It doesn't feel right. And having it dirty is even worse. So, I pick-up and clean often.
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Deleted
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Dec 10, 2012 13:38:44 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Dec 10, 2012 13:38:44 GMT -5
Maybe some of us just like not living like pigs. My childhood friend told me she was surprised I kept my house so clean. When I asked her why she said "Because your parents made you clean their house all of the time." I said "But now it's for me!" I guess she figured when I got out from under their stringent rules and from them giving me long lists every week of chores to do I'd run wild and live in a dirty house. Not having a perfect home does not mean "living like pigs".
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Deleted
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Dec 10, 2012 13:40:00 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Dec 10, 2012 13:40:00 GMT -5
I wonder why others seem concerned about someone else's housekeeping? Like i know people who have to keep it clean because of their "mom" won't approve. Um, well, if my mom is paying my bills, fine but otherwise, my house, my standards or lack thereof! because when it borders on disgusting I don't want to be spending any time there. I was at someone's house and there was dog hair everywhere. I was afraid to eat anything (and it was a social event with food being served). clutter is fine but when you have pet hair, dishes all over the house that you know have been there for a week, overflowing litter box, etc., that's where it crosses over to nauseating. Well, then don't eat there. I don't eat at a friend's house because she has cats and smokes. So, no thanks.
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thyme4change
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Dec 10, 2012 13:41:07 GMT -5
Post by thyme4change on Dec 10, 2012 13:41:07 GMT -5
I don't smoke, but my cats do - so does that mean Shooby wouldn't eat at my house either?
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Deleted
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Dec 10, 2012 13:41:34 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Dec 10, 2012 13:41:34 GMT -5
I would love to see a cat smoking. Make it so!!!
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Peace Of Mind
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Dec 10, 2012 13:42:03 GMT -5
Post by Peace Of Mind on Dec 10, 2012 13:42:03 GMT -5
Maybe some of us just like not living like pigs. My childhood friend told me she was surprised I kept my house so clean. When I asked her why she said "Because your parents made you clean their house all of the time." I said "But now it's for me!" I guess she figured when I got out from under their stringent rules and from them giving me long lists every week of chores to do I'd run wild and live in a dirty house. Not having a perfect home does not mean "living like pigs". No one here said it was. Unless you consider week long dirty dishes in the sink and dog hair every where and stinking cat boxes "ok". But you wear meat clothes so what do you know? ;D
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thyme4change
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Dec 10, 2012 13:42:40 GMT -5
Post by thyme4change on Dec 10, 2012 13:42:40 GMT -5
blocked due to malware/_XFayf7aMv1M/TFDnqR2RWpI/AAAAAAAABMI/d1Fa1Q7WDbg/s320/cat+smoking.jpg[/img]
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Deleted
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Dec 10, 2012 13:43:14 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Dec 10, 2012 13:43:14 GMT -5
Awesome! Thank you!!
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Peace Of Mind
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Dec 10, 2012 13:49:46 GMT -5
Post by Peace Of Mind on Dec 10, 2012 13:49:46 GMT -5
blocked due to malware/_XFayf7aMv1M/TFDnqR2RWpI/AAAAAAAABMI/d1Fa1Q7WDbg/s320/cat+smoking.jpg [/img][/quote] LMAO!!! I may use that as my next avatar - unless Taz wants it.
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thyme4change
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Dec 10, 2012 13:50:17 GMT -5
Post by thyme4change on Dec 10, 2012 13:50:17 GMT -5
He looks kinda bad-ass.
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Dec 10, 2012 13:52:34 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Dec 10, 2012 13:52:34 GMT -5
because when it borders on disgusting I don't want to be spending any time there. I was at someone's house and there was dog hair everywhere. I was afraid to eat anything (and it was a social event with food being served). clutter is fine but when you have pet hair, dishes all over the house that you know have been there for a week, overflowing litter box, etc., that's where it crosses over to nauseating. Well, then don't eat there. I don't eat at a friend's house because she has cats and smokes. So, no thanks. nevermind not wanting to eat anything there (but as I said it was a social event and pretty much we eat when we get together every month).....but I didn't even want to BE there....
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milee
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Dec 10, 2012 13:54:29 GMT -5
Post by milee on Dec 10, 2012 13:54:29 GMT -5
I think it's easy to be judgmental about certain things because they're obvious and it's socially acceptable to find them "disgusting." Dirty dishes in the sink are a good example. They can be offputting, but probably don't actually represent any health hazard to a guest unless they're far enough gone to attract vermin.
On the other hand, we all seem to be OK with some of the really nasty things (like children) in houses. Honestly, I have never met a child that was remotely sanitary and not - if you really think about it - disgusting. But it's not socially acceptable to think or say that so we don't.
I'm not ditching on kids or defending dirty dishes, just pointing out that some of this isn't rational and maybe we should just step back and cut each other some slack. I'm a little bit of a germophobe and would have trouble eating at a lot of the places people are describing, but I know that's probably more to do with me and my hangups rather than the actual situation.
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zibazinski
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Dec 10, 2012 18:33:02 GMT -5
Post by zibazinski on Dec 10, 2012 18:33:02 GMT -5
I can't even imagine having people over and especially over to eat when my house was filthy. WTF? I'd have said " bye bye" very quickly and left. Obviously they weren't prepared for company.
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Deleted
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Dec 10, 2012 18:36:44 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Dec 10, 2012 18:36:44 GMT -5
Well, then don't eat there. I don't eat at a friend's house because she has cats and smokes. So, no thanks. nevermind not wanting to eat anything there (but as I said it was a social event and pretty much we eat when we get together every month).....but I didn't even want to BE there.... Well, i don't disagree. If you find the house personally disgusting, then you find it personally disgusting. I find homes where cats use litter boxes and then walk across kitchen counters to be gag worthy. SO, for those friends, i don't eat at their houses. We go meet somewhere. And, if someone doesn't care for my home, that is fine i would be happy to meet elsewhere. No problem.
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