thyme4change
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 26, 2010 13:54:08 GMT -5
Posts: 40,412
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Post by thyme4change on Dec 6, 2012 9:53:52 GMT -5
LOL - Great analogy. I think I will use this to describe my company. Right now we are spreading a lot of manure, but the purpose is to grow a beautiful garden.
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swamp
Community Leader
Don't be a fool. Call me!
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 16:03:22 GMT -5
Posts: 45,327
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Post by swamp on Dec 6, 2012 11:53:10 GMT -5
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Formerly SK
Senior Member
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Post by Formerly SK on Dec 6, 2012 12:18:57 GMT -5
I read "The Road Less Traveled" in my early 20s and the first chapter begins with "Life is difficult." But then the chapter explains how once you really internalize and accept/believe that life is difficult, life actually becomes less difficult. I have found this to be very true for me, and my attitude when I encounter (big or small) obstacles is much better because of it. It seems that most people I know don't believe that life is difficult, so when something bad happens they are shocked and overwhelmed by it. If you believe that life is supposed to be easy/fun then yes the inevitable issues will be harder for you to handle.
I also think perspective helps. I'm the only functional, non-addict person in my family and I feel incredible gratitude that something inside me clicked so I didn't fall into the trap everyone else did. No matter how rough things may get, it could always be worse. Even "rough" things like my son's autism - I could focus on his deficits or I could focus on how much better he is than more severe kids. The funny thing is, the facts don't change whether I focus on the positive or the negative, but my response is 1000% more effective if I focus on the positive.
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Lizard Queen
Senior Associate
103/2024
Joined: Jan 17, 2011 22:19:13 GMT -5
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Post by Lizard Queen on Dec 6, 2012 12:48:09 GMT -5
I need one. Have any of you ever successfully 'changed your attitude, changed your life?' How? Do you think happy thoughts? Do you focus on the positive? Do you slap people with a bad 'tude that brings you down? Do you slap yourself? Do you ring a bell every time you notice you are focusing on the negative, and then an angel gets his wings, and helps you believe that the world is a better place because you were born? I had a relationship that ended badly and it left me stuck in this cycle of thoughts/feelings filled anger and resentment. I just could not let go or shake it, and even went to therapy for a while. What really helped me was a book I read. It had a script that you said or just ran through in your head. It kind of reprogrammed your thought patterns. It seemed really hokey but it actually worked really well for me for that and other issues going on in my life as well.
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thyme4change
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 26, 2010 13:54:08 GMT -5
Posts: 40,412
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Post by thyme4change on Dec 6, 2012 12:48:55 GMT -5
What book was that?
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NomoreDramaQ1015
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 14:26:32 GMT -5
Posts: 47,267
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Dec 6, 2012 12:53:03 GMT -5
I've given up trying to change my attitude for the most part, I embrace it. If I let myself have a moment to just be pissed/frustrated I am in a better mood the rest of the day. Trying to make myself not be that way doesn't work.
I've found deep breaths help when dealing with temper tantrums. Whenever I feel my blood pressure rise I stop, breath and remind myself I am the adult in this scenario. It isn't fool proof but it helps most of the time.
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Lizard Queen
Senior Associate
103/2024
Joined: Jan 17, 2011 22:19:13 GMT -5
Posts: 14,659
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Post by Lizard Queen on Dec 6, 2012 12:54:27 GMT -5
It was called, "Feelings Buried Alive Never Die".
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Deleted
Joined: May 4, 2024 4:40:31 GMT -5
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Dec 6, 2012 12:57:49 GMT -5
Drink more wine…or
party like its 2099, or
dance like there’s nobody watching, or
sing louder in the shower, or
have more and better sex…it’s really not that complicated.
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Tiny
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 29, 2010 21:22:34 GMT -5
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Post by Tiny on Dec 6, 2012 15:08:25 GMT -5
Not sure if it was an 'attitude adjustment' or a paradigm shift for how I think the world works. There's a couple of foundation beliefs that I worked very hard on getting myself to believe and live by. 1.) Life is not Fair. 2.) I am NOT responsible for other people's emotional states/or behavior - they are. In otherwords, I can't make you angry thru my actions - you actually choose to become angry at my actions - you don't have to be angry. 3.) This means I am responsible for my emotional state. No one can make me angry/happy/whatever unless I choose to respond with that emotion. If I'm not happy - it's something I need to work on - not someone else who needs to make me happy. If I let you make me angry - I've surrendered some of myself/control/power to you. 4.) You always have a choice. yes, things happen beyond one's control - but you always get to choose how you deal with those things. Sometimes you have to make the tough unpopular choice(s). Remember #1? Life is not Fair. Now, I'm not against people surrendering themselves to my control. My inner dominate just loves when that happens... I'm amazed at how often people give away their 'power' or 'control' to other people... maybe it's true that people like to be told what to do...
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Dec 6, 2012 15:19:02 GMT -5
Yep. I used to be a really happy-go-lucky optimistic person. Then I got married. Seriously though, when I start getting into a funk I try to remind myself that the world is a stage, life is a play, and it's clearly a tragic comedy, so feel free to laugh your ass off at its funnier moments. That sorta kinda helps a little. Drinking a lot works pretty good too.
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