thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Aug 14, 2012 10:43:18 GMT -5
My kids haven't had mean teachers yet - at least not that they have complained about. I have consistently said that I am talking about teachers who are bad at teaching and incompetent in the classroom. I regret not fighting for my daughter because her teacher did not teach her anything. She has a whole year that was just basically wasted. I don't think she learned a lesson from going to school and wasting the whole day. I just don't like people who are bad at their jobs.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 14, 2012 10:46:35 GMT -5
When I was in 7th grade, my Mom transferred me to another school so I could be in a specific class for gifted students. Not only was I a year younger than my classmates, but I ended up being the only black kid in the class, which was a new experience for me. What made it bad was the teacher, she acted like she'd never seen a black person before. She constantly singled me out because I was black, but not necessarily in a bad way. For example, we had to do some kind of project and she told me I could do mine on something like what kind of skin black people had, was it oily, dry or whatever. I remember wanting to tell her "Dummy, black people have all kinds of skin, just like white people!" I hated that class! I felt like I was always under a spotlight. I don't think I told my Mom, even if I did, I stuck it out for the year. And I didn't do well in the class even though I could have. I don't recally having my kids moved from any teacher's room. Well my son did get moved once, but that was an extraordinary circumstance. And I did confront a guidance counselor in her principal's office and told her to stay the hell away from my kids. I don't remember why, but she'd pulled my daughter out of class and stood her in the hallway outside the classroom with the door open, yelling at her, calling her names and basically told her she wasn't shit and her Momma wasn't shit either. Really. The class heard it all and the teacher finally went in the hall and put a stop to it. I verified my daughter's story with that teacher (who kept saying "Ms. Pink, it was awful, I don't know what she was thinking") before I went to the principal. If the bat had taken my daughter into her office or even talked quietly to her in the hall about whatever the problem was, like she had some sense, I would've been ok with it. I was NOT ok with the way it happened. Of course my kids had teachers they didn't like. I told them their job wasn't to like their teacher, it was to learn from them. If their teachers were stern, that was fine with me. But no verbal abuse or calling them names. Oh, and I had a conversation with a 4th grade substitute teacher because she pulled my daughter's hair and told her she was going to slap the shit out of her. Ummmm, I advise you not to do that. She'd been calling the class "Ba Ba's kids" the past couple of days and I guess she'd finally lost it. There was another parent waiting to see her when I was leaving.
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GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl
Senior Associate
"How you win matters." Ender, Ender's Game
Joined: Jan 2, 2011 13:33:09 GMT -5
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Post by GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl on Aug 14, 2012 10:47:15 GMT -5
I'm with all of you that we need to weed out the incompetent teachers. I've seen my fair share of teachers who can't communicate -- not the lesson, not the material, and especially not with parents.
That said, the teachers we need to fear the most are the unethical ones. They need to be booted out and identified for who and what they are. I've been personal witness to some scary crap that, IMHO, constitutes nothing short of institutionalized child abuse all done in the name of "education". Unethical educator behavior IS unethical educator behavior no matter how you try and spin it.
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shanendoah
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Post by shanendoah on Aug 14, 2012 10:49:28 GMT -5
I'm at a point where I am not even certain what people are arguing about. No one on here is saying they would try to switch their kid's teacher just because the kid once said the teacher was mean. All the talk has been around meeting with the teacher, trying to find out if there really is a problem, etc. And then, if there is a problem, moving the child or requesting that any younger children not have that teacher. No one is arguing that we should interfere on the whim of a child.
Also, no one here is saying you shouldn't move the kid if the teacher is truly abusive to your child, or is serially incompetent. (Though in that case, I'd make sure to step up what we were working on at home.)
A teacher who hates all little boys- leave your son in there, as long as he's not being singled out. He is getting the message that some people just don't like other people, for no reason. But as long as all the little boys are being treated the same, he's probably fine. However, if that teacher then singles your child out, calling him stupid and dumping abuse on him, get him out of that classroom ASAP.
As for a focus on bullying "ruining" the school system- I have to ask- were you the bully? Because stick and stones may break my bones, but words drive kids to suicide. If the school is contacting you because your child is bullying another, you can bet it wasn't a single instance of a play ground spat and calling another child a poo poo head. It was because of a repeated pattern of your child systematically being cruel to one or more children, and probably encouraging others to be mean to that other child as well. And if your child is being bullied, just telling them to "suck it up" and "grow thicker skin" doesn't cut it. Kids actually have to be taught healthy coping skills. They don't just spring up out of no where.
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Deleted
Joined: Mar 29, 2024 6:01:29 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Aug 14, 2012 10:54:35 GMT -5
My kids haven't had mean teachers yet - at least not that they have complained about. I have consistently said that I am talking about teachers who are bad at teaching and incompetent in the classroom. I regret not fighting for my daughter because her teacher did not teach her anything. She has a whole year that was just basically wasted. I don't think she learned a lesson from going to school and wasting the whole day. I just don't like people who are bad at their jobs. When I went back to my neighborhood school in 8th grade, I didn't learn anything that year. I didn't learn much in 9th grade either, but I aced the proficiency tests. I didn't really start learning again until I went to another accelerated school in 10th grade. So I was spinning my wheels for a while, not learning anything new. I don't know what the overall impact on me was. Maybe that's why I started being lazy.
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lynnerself
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 3, 2011 11:42:29 GMT -5
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Post by lynnerself on Aug 14, 2012 10:57:08 GMT -5
Yes, when my kids were in grade school I made sure they had compatible teachers. Frankly they were bright and I wanted the best start and good experience as possible for the beginning of their educations. Technically you were not allowed to request a specific teacher at our school. But when you are very involved and president of the PTA they tend to work with you. We never transferred our kids out of a class. We knew ahead of the school year who they had and if it would be OK. Luckily we had a lot of good teachers. Only once did we suggest the the teacher "would not be a good match" for DD and she was moved before school started.
We never did this in middle school or high school. At that point they were old enough to cope (and had more than one teacher).
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happyhoix
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Post by happyhoix on Aug 14, 2012 11:03:31 GMT -5
OK, here is the question for the proponents of "just deal with teachers" - how do you propose an 8 yr old does that?? They have less than zero power and less than zero options. Yep, that's soooo exactly the same as "real life" Lena You as the parents have to listen very very closely to what your kid is saying. You have to visit the classroom, talk to the teacher, talk to other parents. You have to pay attention, that's your job. When I was 9 I started having muscle spasms in my legs that were so intense I often walked with a limp. My teachers noticed, my mom noticed, the doctors didn't know what was causing it, but it was plain stress - not from a crappy teacher, but from a crazy disfuctional home life. Those are the kinds of signs you look for in a kid - especially the quiet kids that won't normally speak up for themselves. If you're paying attention and you aren't a dsyfunctional parent you can sort out what is just kids whining and what is a real crappy teacher issue that needs to be addressed.
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