Life Experiences and Money

[Ava]

My mother is visiting from the old country, and spending the summer with me .
Since we don't see each other too often, I try to pamper her when we are together.
Yesterday we went to a casino to see a show. I spent $68 on bus fare and dinner, and $20 on the slot machines.
Today we went to a jazz festival at a nearby town. I spent $34 in two lawn tickets and two beers.
Don't get me wrong; I love having my mom around and I want her to have a good time.
I've always been big on life experiences. I don't like stuff, so I don't buy many things. I'm more into visiting new places, theater, concerts, museums, etc. What you would call "Life Experiences."
But lately, with all the money I'm spending on going out with mom, I'm starting to wander if getting a second-hand DVD at E-Bay to watch a concert in a good quality TV isn't better than going out and spending all that money.
Of course, you cannot replace traveling. But for all the other things, like plays, concerts, museums, I wonder what if I just bought a DVD and watched it from the comfort of my own home.
It's not just the money, it's the time and stress of driving there, finding parking, standing around, dealing with crowds, etc.
Am I getting old and boring? Will I feel regret later on if I just watch things on DVDs instead of going in person?
Am I becoming a miser?
What do you guys usually do? Buy the DVD and watch at home or go for the experience?
I am also surprised this kind of thinking is happening in all areas of my life. Why buy an expensive cream when some drugstore brands are quite good? Why buy a better perfume, if this one has a good fragrance?
Maybe I'm just becoming a true YMer.
What are your thoughts in this matter, and what do you usually do?

[BeenThere...DoneThat...]

...yeah, my moniker fits a thread again! ;D

...first, enjoy your visit!

...second, definitely plan some cheaper, more restful, pass-times...

...third, we do find ourselves feeling less motivated about some things... we're getting old, if you believe the Romney-Ryan threads... but we've also done things that we're just less inclined to repeat... so don't feel bad if you, too, find yourself more selective about your entertainments... if they don't entertain you anymore, find new ones and don't look back...

[Deleted]

I love the dvd of Fiddler on the Roof... but its nothing to compare to the live show... (not to mention when they totally destroy the thing, like Rock of Ages...) ... I'm much more for the experience... and i'll actually pay more to avoid the crowds...

[simser]

I think it's all about time together and what you like to do. I'm not a concert person (I don't go live or watch DVDs). So I can't answer that.

But I will say one of the best experiences I have ever had with my parents was one that I wanted to leave after 5 minutes. We made an hour, but by the end of it we were busting a gut laughing so hard at how miserable we were that it's still a favorite memory. So I'm ok with some crowds and whatnot. The best memories come from the dumbest things

[Peace Of Mind]

I think it depends on your age and situation. But BeenThere...DoneThat said it perfectly so I'll just agree with them.

Enjoy your visit! You sound like a wonderful daughter.

[Deleted]

You sort out what is really important to you. That won't make you a miser or make you regrets. If you really enjoy live events such as bands and music, go and enjoy. If perfume isn't your thing, then buy some cheaper perfume that smells good to you. I value live events and l iike to eat out some. I don't care whatsoever about what brand of purse i carry or things like that so a purse from walmart or whereever is just fine by me. In other words, think about what you enjoy and make your money really work for you. I think taking your mom out is much better than sitting home with her and renting a dvd. So, that is money well spent. But, if there are other times you want to avoid the crowds and expense, do so. It doesn't have to be all or nothing.

[resolution]

But lately, with all the money I'm spending on going out with mom, I'm starting to wander if getting a second-hand DVD at E-Bay to watch a concert in a good quality TV isn't better than going out and spending all that money.

With your mom visiting from out of the country, I think it would be a great idea to do more things at home where you are free to talk and catch up on things. I am sure she appreciates the pampering that you are giving her, but the real reason she is there is to spend time with you, which isn't always easy to accomplish at a concert or other entertainment venue.

[rileyoday]

Now that I pee all the time and hate public bathrooms I travel to the library for travel DVDs and travel home to watch them.

[el1504]

I think you have to find the right mix. Somethings are so much better when you're there in person (a concert or play for example) but others you can get pretty much the same experinece on your couch (i.e a movie)

[Bluerobin]

Treat yourself a few times a year. Don't go overboard, but there is nothing like going to a live event!

[swamp]

It's not like you're taking your mom to 5 star restaurants and are dumping $500 on concert tickets. ENjoy. She can sit inside and watch movies at home.

[Deleted]

My parents live 3 provinces away. I'm the one that goes to visit them. In a week long visit I only want to go out a couple of times. Otherwise it is about visitting them. Going out every day would be exhausting.

[Deleted]

Aug 13, 2012 7:40:39 GMT -5 @justaposter said:

In a week long visit I only want to go out a couple of times. Otherwise it is about visiting them. Going out every day would be exhausting.

That was my thought and hootieman had some good ideas in his post. The longer your mother's planned stay, the more important it is to allow for some quiet times together. This may be a good time to get more of the family history and write it down, or even get a short subscription to Ancestry.com and work on some geneology.

[busymom]

I agree with athena. If your Mom is up to it, sit with her & write down some of your family history. Now that I'm cleaning out my parent's house, I've got questions for my Dad that will never be answered, and my Mom doesn't remember anymore. Find out about your parent's friends, early jobs, etc. You'll be glad you have that information someday!

[Ava]

Thanks for all the answers and ideas.
Don't get me wrong; I spend plenty of time sitting together with Mom at home while she's visiting.
I work full-time and don't arrive home until 6:00 pm.
Monday through Friday we cook, eat dinner, go grocery shopping, watch a TV show we both like, talk a lot, etc.
We go out during weekends, because I don't want her to feel bored or miss things she will enjoy.
She's turning 70 in October, she's in excellent health, so I want her to enjoy and to leave the U.S. with good memories.
I don't regret taking her out or spending money on her.
It's more about when I'm on my own that I'm starting to feel going out is a waste of money.
For example, two years ago I went to see Elton John in New York. I always wanted to see him live, but honestly, it wasn't such an awesome experience. At the end of the concert I was facing a really long drive back home, and the ticket didn't look like money well spent.
I agree with the ideas you guys are giving me about being selective and not feeling bad if I don't want to go.

[resolution]

For example, two years ago I went to see Elton John in New York. I always wanted to see him live, but honestly, it wasn't such an awesome experience. At the end of the concert I was facing a really long drive back home, and the ticket didn't look like money well spent.

I think when you are younger is a good time to go out and experience everything that you can, but when you are older you have had a chance to decide what you like and what you don't like. So now you know that you don't like going to a concert and then facing a long drive back home. There is nothing wrong with staying home and skipping the concerts and then using the money saved to go to one special concert and reserve a hotel overnight near the concert hall. Or just skipping it altogether and investing the money.

I tend to be that way with ballet. I like it but it is too much of a hassle so I don't go to the local shows. However when I was in Moscow I got tickets at the Bolshoi theater as part of my travel experience. It was a very enjoyable and memorable evening and I didnt have to worry about a long drive home over dark country roads.

Part of getting older is also not caring so much about what other people think of my choices. Some of my friends think my life is boring because I don't go out every night and others think I am behind the times because I dont have a smart phone. But as long as I am happy and enjoying myself I don't mind what they think. We all are happy in our own ways and care about each other through our differences, which is the important thing.