zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Aug 9, 2012 9:10:14 GMT -5
What's the fight? If they are supporting themselves, then they have rights. If I'm supporting them, their rights are severaly restricted to what I think is right.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Aug 9, 2012 9:12:51 GMT -5
"What if your daughter had beautiful long hair and wanted a pageboy, which you knew wouldn't look as 'pretty' on her face... " I would strongly discourage her from getting any ugly haircut, weird or not. Like I said, my daughter is not one that this will ever be an issue for. she is very concerned about how she presents herself and would never willingly do something to make herself look less attractive. And I agree with a previous poster who said the absolute gorgeous woman with delicate features can probably pull off a shaved head....I do not have that look and would look like a lesbian cancer patient...which if that was the look I was going for I would do it, but it's not
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Loopdilou
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Post by Loopdilou on Aug 9, 2012 9:16:18 GMT -5
I guess I'm not surprised on the conformism due to "beauty standards," just a little sad. They're so young... why teach them to worry about looking "attractive"?
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Cookies Galore
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Post by Cookies Galore on Aug 9, 2012 9:16:49 GMT -5
I still say it's just hair, so why not do something a little crazy? Experimenting with hair is the easiest and safest way for a teen to "rebel" and experiment without too many consequences. Id rather my daughter shave her head than date Snake with the motorcycle and Pagan connections.
I used to keep my hair in super short styles and colored it.all sorts of red and pink shades. Then i turned 24, and to do something different, I let my natural color grow in. A couple of years ago i decided to grow my hair long. Df was the kid in high school and college with the colorful mohawk and facial piercings. Now, he has a clear face and a fauxhawk.
Point is, hair is there to play with. You grow up, get it out of your system, and enjoy looking at the pictures years later.
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Cookies Galore
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Post by Cookies Galore on Aug 9, 2012 9:19:43 GMT -5
I guess I'm not surprised on the conformism due to "beauty standards," just a little sad. They're so young... why teach them to worry about looking "attractive"? Young girls need to know that they're more than a pretty face. How can you teach them to be strong and confident if all they care about is hair?
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Loopdilou
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Post by Loopdilou on Aug 9, 2012 9:20:56 GMT -5
I still say it's just hair, so why not do something a little crazy? Experimenting with hair is the easiest and safest way for a teen to "rebel" and experiment without too many consequences. Id rather my daughter shave her head than date Snake with the motorcycle and Pagan connections. I used to keep my hair in super short styles and colored it.all sorts of red and pink shades. Then i turned 24, and to do something different, I let my natural color grow in. A couple of years ago i decided to grow my hair long. Df was the kid in high school and college with the colorful mohawk and facial piercings. Now, he has a clear face and a fauxhawk. Point is, hair is there to play with. You grow up, get it out of your system, and enjoy looking at the pictures years later. Except what's wrong with paganism?
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Aug 9, 2012 9:22:07 GMT -5
I guess I'm not surprised on the conformism due to "beauty standards," just a little sad. They're so young... why teach them to worry about looking "attractive"? Loop, have you and Dark and your DD talked about the maintenance of that hair cut, if she decides to keep it? My brother shaves his head every few days to keep the stubble down (he's balding anyway, it's a better look for him.) Is she going to be able to shave the sides at your house or is this going to require trips to the stylist or are you/Dark going to be stuck doing it?
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Aug 9, 2012 9:22:15 GMT -5
Point is we are judged on our looks and women are judged more harshly. That's a fact no matter how you want to spin it. It's easy when you are unattractive to say looks don't matter and it's nice to try to teach your kids that there is more to life than their looks, and there IS, but the facts are, looks matter, and a bad haircut and the no makeup and frumpy clothes look isn't a good one for most people. Not if they want to be taken seriously for jobs and not if they want a social life.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Aug 9, 2012 9:23:32 GMT -5
That girl can rock that look because she is pretty with big boobs and still, she isn't going to get certain jobs and she is going to be treated a certain way.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 9, 2012 9:23:54 GMT -5
So attractive people only care about their looks? Because attractive people can say that looks don't matter too, you know.
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Loopdilou
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Post by Loopdilou on Aug 9, 2012 9:25:22 GMT -5
Yes, true.. but she"s also in her... 20s? We're discussing kids.. yanno.. those little people with no need to find gainful employment?
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Cookies Galore
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Post by Cookies Galore on Aug 9, 2012 9:25:30 GMT -5
I still say it's just hair, so why not do something a little crazy? Experimenting with hair is the easiest and safest way for a teen to "rebel" and experiment without too many consequences. Id rather my daughter shave her head than date Snake with the motorcycle and Pagan connections. I used to keep my hair in super short styles and colored it.all sorts of red and pink shades. Then i turned 24, and to do something different, I let my natural color grow in. A couple of years ago i decided to grow my hair long. Df was the kid in high school and college with the colorful mohawk and facial piercings. Now, he has a clear face and a fauxhawk. Point is, hair is there to play with. You grow up, get it out of your system, and enjoy looking at the pictures years later. Except what's wrong with paganism? lol! I used to hang out with some in my early 20s, but no more motorcycle gangs for me!
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Loopdilou
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Post by Loopdilou on Aug 9, 2012 9:26:57 GMT -5
So attractive people only care about their looks? Because attractive people can say that looks don't matter too, you know. Duh, Beer. All of us "looks don't matter" people are obviously ugly beastie schlubs
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Aug 9, 2012 9:28:57 GMT -5
No, attractive people don't just think about their looks but it still amazes me how some people will go out in public looking like they slept in the clothes for 3 days and didn't bother to brush their hair, either. Why would you not want to look the best you can as often as you can? I'm not talking about wearing heels to plant the garden, either. It's self respect and self love. If you don't feel it for yourself, you can't feel it for others.
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Cookies Galore
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Post by Cookies Galore on Aug 9, 2012 9:29:53 GMT -5
So attractive people only care about their looks? Because attractive people can say that looks don't matter too, you know. Im certainly no ugly duckling, but I certainly don't give a shit who thinks Im attractive if Im secure in myself.
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Loopdilou
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Post by Loopdilou on Aug 9, 2012 9:31:02 GMT -5
Didn't realize that not my hair was so intrinsically tied to my worth... I'll have to start spending a LOT more money on it
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milee
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Post by milee on Aug 9, 2012 9:31:04 GMT -5
That girl can rock that look because she is pretty with big boobs and still, she isn't going to get certain jobs and she is going to be treated a certain way. Again, maybe I'm going about this parenting thing all wrong, but if I really felt that way that would be all the more reason I'd want my 11 year old to find this out for herself by trying the haircut at a time when the consequences aren't permanent. Telling an 11 year old something doesn't always work that well. They learn best when they observe - or even better experience - it for themself. Let her try it and see for herself what the potential consequences are so she won't make dumb choices later when they can do permanent harm.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Aug 9, 2012 9:31:19 GMT -5
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 9, 2012 9:32:06 GMT -5
If my 11 year old looked like the girl in the OP I think I would hang myself.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 9, 2012 9:32:16 GMT -5
I can't make them conform to my ideas, but I can have some control about how they look. And if they had other ideas would it be worth the fight to force them to conform to your standards? I have certain ideals that I feel are important. It is my job to raise my children to know what I value as important. Whether or not they agree is out of my control.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Aug 9, 2012 9:32:20 GMT -5
Why do you feel secure about yourself? What do you like about yourself? What makes you proud of you? That's a topic for a whole new thread.
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HoneyBBQ
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Post by HoneyBBQ on Aug 9, 2012 9:32:40 GMT -5
If I looked like the woman in the picture you posted, I would absolutely go for that look. She's stunning! Totally! I agree. Hair is free reign.... piercings/tattoos are another story IMO.
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Cookies Galore
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Post by Cookies Galore on Aug 9, 2012 9:33:28 GMT -5
No, attractive people don't just think about their looks but it still amazes me how some people will go out in public looking like they slept in the clothes for 3 days and didn't bother to brush their hair, either. Why would you not want to look the best you can as often as you can? I'm not talking about wearing heels to plant the garden, either. It's self respect and self love. If you don't feel it for yourself, you can't feel it for others. if Im running out to cvs on Saturday morning for tampons, the last thing on my mind is putting on a show for others. I still love myself, i just need to go stat. Or if i go to the bank before i workout. Im not going to shower only to.have to shower again.
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Cookies Galore
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Post by Cookies Galore on Aug 9, 2012 9:35:01 GMT -5
Im certainly no ugly duckling, but I certainly don't give a shit who thinks Im attractive if Im secure in myself. Why did you feel the need to tell us this part? i like to brag.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 9, 2012 9:35:52 GMT -5
No, attractive people don't just think about their looks but it still amazes me how some people will go out in public looking like they slept in the clothes for 3 days and didn't bother to brush their hair, either. Why would you not want to look the best you can as often as you can? I'm not talking about wearing heels to plant the garden, either. It's self respect and self love. If you don't feel it for yourself, you can't feel it for others. Because my self-worth isn't attached to my looks? ETA: Reversed that so that it makes more sense.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 9, 2012 9:37:46 GMT -5
GW has gorgeous hair. I would cry if she wanted to do that to it. I wouldn't forbid it but I might not have the money to pay for it.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 9, 2012 9:38:34 GMT -5
My neighbor growing up was the sweetest old lady. She used to get all duded up every day just to sit in her living room or on her front porch. Full hair, makeup, costume jewelery, dress and girdle. Everyday. She was great.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 9, 2012 9:39:13 GMT -5
That sounds just like my Nana, Arch.
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justme
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Post by justme on Aug 9, 2012 9:39:42 GMT -5
I wish I had the balls in high school to do crazy stuff with my hair. I couldn't decide what cut I want and was afraid if I tried to bleach my hair that it would all fall out since it was rather dark. FWIW my parents are pretty conservative and when I mentioned it the only thing my mom said she wasn't helping because she'd mess it up. I was also friends with the "different" people that had black hair and crazy hair cuts and all that stuff and I still maintained my straight As. And, shocker, most of those crazy kids had really good grades.
My uneducated, kidless stance is if not now, when? (And that's what also led to me getting my lip pierced in college, knowing I wouldn't be able to out in the real world) With things that aren't permanent (hair, clothing*) why not let your kid experiment and see how the world reacts to you? Aren't they supposed to learn things while they're under their parents wing? Where they won't be up a "a river of excrement and a Native American water vessel with out any means of propulsion" if they do do something outrageous looks wise?
*Clothing as long as the appropriate things are covered.
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milee
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Post by milee on Aug 9, 2012 9:44:04 GMT -5
Slightly off-topic hick question...
I'm not great with hair and can only do really basic stuff like wash and kinda blow dry it, so don't yell at me if this is a stupid question, but several people have mentioned that this would be an expensive cut done in a salon. Isn't this just the opposite of that, though? I mean, if I wanted this look, even as hair challenged as I am, this would be something I'd do at home with a razor in about 5 minutes, right? What am I missing?
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