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Post by Deleted on Aug 9, 2012 7:41:30 GMT -5
I didn't realize how much of a conformist you were i guess. I encourage my kids to make judgements on people based on things other than appearance and we tend to seek out the different. I guess I don't see how a haircut or piercing or being different is an unacceptable behavior?
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taz157
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Post by taz157 on Aug 9, 2012 7:42:03 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Aug 9, 2012 7:45:25 GMT -5
I did mine way back when Cyndi Lauper was popular. I saw someone in school with her hair shaved on one side and I thought it looked cool. I can tell you that I was never called into the office or suspended because of my hairstyle! I didn't shoot my mouth off to adults though, either.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Aug 9, 2012 7:45:40 GMT -5
If it's not a problem with her school, or anything else she might have to do, I'd let her shave it if she wants to. I'd make it clear, though, if she doesn't like it she's sorta stuck, so to be sure before she goes through with it. If she likes it, who does the stubble maintenance? ETA - Beth goes back to finish reading page 1.
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Taxman10
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Post by Taxman10 on Aug 9, 2012 7:45:50 GMT -5
Our older daughter asked if she could shave the side of her head in this style: What would you say? Is it worth the fight? Should kids be able to do whatever they want with their hair, it being a non-permanent alteration? Inquiring minds want to know! I say if your daughter looks like that, you can't go wrong
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Taxman10
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Post by Taxman10 on Aug 9, 2012 7:47:37 GMT -5
I know how horrible this sounds, so I'll apologize upfront... It seems like only pretty girls can get away with hair cuts like that. Less attractive girls end up looking even more less attractive... Sorry Yeah, how hot is she?? Hot enough to pull that look off??
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Colleenz
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Post by Colleenz on Aug 9, 2012 7:48:50 GMT -5
I would not forbid it, but personally would strongly discourage it. Thankfully I only have a boy, so he can shave his head and nobody would care.
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Taxman10
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Post by Taxman10 on Aug 9, 2012 7:49:19 GMT -5
I want the boobs! me too!
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Aug 9, 2012 7:49:42 GMT -5
I guess I should further clarify that I'm more curious how other people would feel if their own child came wanting a "weird" haircut. Guess "your kid" wasn't obvious enough. I don't know how I'd feel about it. My DD was 4 in May and she's making some noises about pigtails - at which I suck but am trying somewhat, to do. DS is under 3. He's getting buzz cut as soon as he stops being afraid of the razor/shaver sound thing.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 9, 2012 7:55:14 GMT -5
I'm with whoever said some of the more outrageous styles only look good on really beautiful people and that it makes average/ugly people look bad/worse. Also, you'd have to keep that style looking professionally done all the time, so no running late and pulling it back in a ponytail.
And I didn't realize that not wanting my daughter to have a (IMO) hideous haircut made me conformist. I forgot, we're all supposed to love everything about everyone, hold hands, and sing kum bah yah.
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taz157
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Post by taz157 on Aug 9, 2012 7:56:32 GMT -5
I'm with whoever said some of the more outrageous styles only look good on really beautiful people and that it makes average/ugly people look bad/worse. Also, you'd have to keep that style looking professionally done all the time, so no running late and pulling it back in a ponytail. And I didn't realize that not wanting my daughter to have a (IMO) hideous haircut made me conformist. I forgot, we're all supposed to love everything about everyone, hold hands, and sing kum bah yah.
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Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Aug 9, 2012 7:57:15 GMT -5
I really really want kids sometimes and then I read threads like this. I have NO idea what I'd do. While my ultra-conservative said would say, "Oh HELL no", my logical side would say, "It's just hair." I think my conservative side would win.
By the way? It doesn't make you geeky to be conservative or to be a conformist; anymore than it makes you some kind of cool or a stand out to be otherwise.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 9, 2012 8:04:07 GMT -5
The conformist pt thing was mostly in response to not allowing kids to be friends with kids who were allowed to be different. But really, what else leads you to say no to a haircut but conformity?
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Opti
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Post by Opti on Aug 9, 2012 8:05:16 GMT -5
If it's not a problem with her school, or anything else she might have to do, I'd let her shave it if she wants to. I'd make it clear, though, if she doesn't like it she's sorta stuck, so to be sure before she goes through with it. That's the plan I'd let her go for it too. It is probably a good thing to learn when you are young how annoying it is to grow out hair to go from one style to the next as well. Easier to learn sooner than later IMO. (I don't get the asymmetrical look, but really IMO the person who has the hair is the one who should be the most happy with it.)
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Post by Deleted on Aug 9, 2012 8:23:59 GMT -5
But really, what else leads you to say no to a haircut but conformity? good taste?
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Post by Deleted on Aug 9, 2012 8:27:18 GMT -5
What teen has good taste?
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Post by Deleted on Aug 9, 2012 8:28:56 GMT -5
Yours I'm assuming? Isn't what you are saying is that there is a societal definition of beauty and 'taste' to which your child must conform?
What if your daughter had beautiful long hair and wanted a pageboy, which you knew wouldn't look as 'pretty' on her face... Would that be vetoed as well? Just wondering, honestly, not trying to be combative, it's just something I struggle to understand...
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 9, 2012 8:31:36 GMT -5
Who, me? I shaved 1/2 my head when I was in HS, so I don't have a problem with a funky haircut.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 9, 2012 8:33:22 GMT -5
Sorry, I meant the comment about 'good taste' being what would make a parent say no to a haircut.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 9, 2012 8:35:05 GMT -5
Oh.....I stand by my comment that no teen has good taste! ;D
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Opti
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Post by Opti on Aug 9, 2012 8:41:00 GMT -5
I didn't get the opportunity to experiment with my hair when I was younger so that does influence my views. In fact, my Mom got it cut in a couple unattractive short cuts, one literally a modified bowl cut. I was heavier at the time with that one and it made me look even fatter and heavier. Hair does influence how people see you but its correctable so I think its great she gets the opportunity to play with it now. If it were my child I'd probably feel less happy about it than it being your child but I'd reach the same decision. I'm not into permanent things like piercings and tattoos and never had the desire to have earrings(standard female stuff) or a nose ring, stud, etc. From the posted pic many odd styles "look" better on finer boned women because they appear to keep more of their feminine beauty. From what I remember of pics of your kids the eldest has a much stronger bone structure and she has as much a right to play with her hair as a more delicate feminine looking child. I don't have that delicate oval face, in fact only one of my sibs does. I prefer long hair on myself because I look better and I do look harsher and more masculine with most short haircuts. My youngest Sib has similar issues, having that masculine look but she prefers short hair even though friends of our other Sib used to point at her picture and say, "I didn't know you had a brother?" As a guy she's kind of cute, as a gal not as much. The wonders of society and appearance expectations depending on gender.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Aug 9, 2012 8:41:11 GMT -5
Actually DD got a page boy in about 3rd grade. I thought it'd be great because of all that swimming. She looked awful and she knew it even at that young age.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 9, 2012 8:47:04 GMT -5
Yours I'm assuming? Isn't what you are saying is that there is a societal definition of beauty and 'taste' to which your child must conform? What if your daughter had beautiful long hair and wanted a pageboy, which you knew wouldn't look as 'pretty' on her face... Would that be vetoed as well? Just wondering, honestly, not trying to be combative, it's just something I struggle to understand... I don't know about society, but I have my own thoughts on what I find acceptable and that haircut isn't. And DH is even more conservative than I am, so that haircut DEFINITELY wouldn't be happening at our house! And if we had a girl she would have to fight him on ear piercing too... and no way would DH let DS pierce his ear(s).
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Aug 9, 2012 8:47:58 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Aug 9, 2012 8:55:35 GMT -5
So, they will conform o your standards and ideas. Ok I understand what you are saying
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Post by Deleted on Aug 9, 2012 8:58:00 GMT -5
I can't make them conform to my ideas, but I can have some control about how they look.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 9, 2012 9:00:20 GMT -5
Just want to say I'm not trying to be snarky, just understand motivation/ positions.
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flopsy
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Post by flopsy on Aug 9, 2012 9:03:28 GMT -5
Hells no. No shaved head, no colors, no piercings until they are out of my house and out of my sight. I don't know if shaved/colors/piercings never even occur ed to me growing up because my family is fairly conservative or if all of these would have violated dress code.
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Loopdilou
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Post by Loopdilou on Aug 9, 2012 9:08:47 GMT -5
I can't make them conform to my ideas, but I can have some control about how they look. And if they had other ideas would it be worth the fight to force them to conform to your standards?
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Aug 9, 2012 9:09:21 GMT -5
I said the same things to my kids. My roof, my rules. When they support themselves, they can make their own choices. I've watched DD change her mind about tattoos so often it's not funny anymore. She's glad I was firm about it because if she does it now, she wants to make sure it doesn't show.
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