thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Aug 1, 2012 14:29:39 GMT -5
I think if I had known what teenaged sex was really going to be like, I would have waited a little longer.
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Aug 1, 2012 14:30:55 GMT -5
Hahaha! Wouldn't we all!
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Cookies Galore
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Post by Cookies Galore on Aug 1, 2012 14:34:41 GMT -5
I gave the nuvaring a try in my early 20s and it was fine, but it did occasionally get pulled out during sex so i went back on the pill. I imagine that would be mortifying for a teenage girl (and gross for a teenage boy) so maybe that will scare them away from sex! The pill works best for me, but even that is trial and error. I remember my first attempt was with ortho tri-cyclen and i got my period for three weeks. Turns out i need a monophasic pill as opposed to a triphasic one. Every woman is different. I do think teenage girls should be encouraged to go on some form of birth control. For obvious reasons, but girls need to be empowered to be in control of their bodies.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 1, 2012 15:00:00 GMT -5
Where I live (the rural South) there is a strong religious push to not have sex education in schools (because if we teach our kids about it they'll want to do it) and they want teens to feel like abstinance is the only way to go. A pregnant teen still generates gossip. And all the blame seems to rest on the girl. I read in the LA Times that the South is having a huge problem with a HIV epidemic and in part it's because of religious attitudes and access to healthcare. the American South, which accounts for nearly 50% of all new HIV infections in the United States.
The South has the highest rate of AIDS deaths of any U.S. region. It also has the largest numbers of adolescents and adults living with HIV and the fewest resources to fight the epidemic.. Places with high infection rates in the South also tend to have high rates of incarceration, teen pregnancies and unemployment. Access to healthcare is usually limited if it exists at all. Young black men who have sex with men bear the burden of new infections, with a 60% chance of being infected by age 40.
I have spent time with and interviewed many black gay men living with HIV in the South, and they tend to tell similar stories. Their families have shamed and shunned them; their churches have condemned them. The schools they attended failed to provide even the most basic sex education.
The culture, they say, has forced them into hiding. Some marry; some have girlfriends. They try to be invisible in a culture that can accept black men as prisoners, drug dealers, gangsters, adulterers, absent fathers — but not as gay.
The underlying problems of stigma, discrimination and homophobia are palpable, and they exacerbate the crisis. One black pastor I filmed urged his flock to see HIV/AIDS as a punishment: "Some say that homosexuality is not a sin," he intoned. "It is. AIDS is God's curse to a homosexual life." In Mississippi, the AIDS death rate is 60% higher than the national average, and about 50% of the people who know they are living with HIV are not receiving care, about the same percentage of nontreatment as in Ethiopia. www.latimes.com/news/opinion/commentary/la-oe-biagiotti-aids-in-the-south-20120726,0,6809807.story But hey - Mississippi is focusing on closing down a women's health clinic that is the only one to perform abortions in the whole state. Priorities.
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justme
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Post by justme on Aug 1, 2012 15:14:51 GMT -5
I've read a few articles of male BC methods in the works that involve injecting something to gum up the works/destroy the sperm for men that's supposed to last for several years. Though, with the amount of guys that freak the hell out about vasectomies I'm not so sure how many will line up to get something injected into their penis or scrotum.
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happyhoix
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Post by happyhoix on Aug 1, 2012 15:16:44 GMT -5
I read an article at the gym a few years ago about how some twentysomething men are taking matters into their own hands and giving themselves super, super hot baths before dates (to presumably kill all the sperm). They were very upset that their only BC option was one of the least effective (condom) and that they basically had to trust the woman at her word that she was on a backup method. (I mean yes, ideally you should trust the person you're having sex with, but as we've seen on these boards, even married women can lie about being on BC...) I've always thought this, too. There was a guy in the news a few years back whose GF told him her OB say she couldn't get pregnant. He told her upfront he was a colelge student and didn't want a kid at this point in his life. She assured him she didn't, either. Then she gets pregnant and starts dogging him because he says he wants her to give it up for adoption and if she keeps it he refuses to interact with it (although if he had to pay support he would). Of course, he could have used a condom, but he stated up front he had no intention of being a dad (she confirmed he said this) so she knew he didn't want to be a parent. She got to choose if she wanted to have an abortion, let the baby be adopted out or keep the baby - he had to live with her choice and pay CS if she wanted to keep it. Not fair. It is kind of screwy that guys really have no options other than condoms and abstinence.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Aug 1, 2012 15:22:49 GMT -5
Well, 65,000 men have vasectomies every year - so even if a few vocal ones "freak the hell out" - there are still a marketable number who are willing to do the deed to permanently shut down their baby injections. I would bet an equal number of them would figure out a way to 'man up' once a year to keep their potential child support dollars in their own pocket. You don't think that the entire population of frat-boy row wouldn't flood the student health center to make sure that some gold-digger doesn't mess up his best party years?
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Aug 1, 2012 15:26:43 GMT -5
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Aug 1, 2012 15:28:33 GMT -5
DH said he'd do it in a heartbeat if he was still single. A reversible reliable form of BC, he doesn't have to rely on a woman's word that she's on the pill and he doesn't have to make sure he always has a steady supply of condoms? Sign him up!
I agree with Thyme I think you'd see student health flooded with young men wanting birth control.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Aug 1, 2012 15:31:57 GMT -5
Here is a hilarious article about it.
I know a needle in your man-parts is uncomfortable, but holy crap - given what women have to go through in their annual - I bet you big strong guys can handle it once every 10 years.
This says it will be on the market in 2015, but I'm guessing that is in India. So, now the question...Should I take my son to India, get a shot in his peep and bring him home and let him have sex with his girlfriend.
(So hard to think about, since he still thinks girls have cooties.)
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bean29
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Post by bean29 on Aug 1, 2012 15:33:36 GMT -5
Depo is up there on my list of things I would suggest to my daughter. My doctor told me it has a higher rate of depression and suicide than the pill. I don't know if anyone can confirm that. That doctor told me several things that I hav e since found out are untrue. So, yeah, quality doctor! I use the depo shots myself however to my understanding they are not recommended for teenagers. My DD also suffers from migranes which I think they are bad for, but I am sure my DD forgets her pill occasionally. I did too, paranoia is what changed me over to the Depo Shots to begin with.
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justme
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Post by justme on Aug 1, 2012 15:43:26 GMT -5
I would hope they would, I've just had convos with late teens/early 20s guys and a lot of them said they would downright refuse to get a vasectomy and make their wife get her tubes tied even after I pointed out how the latter is a serious surgery. I think their exact words were "nothing sharp is coming near my balls".
Hell, I'd line up if I could get a shot with no side effects that works for 10 year! And I definitely would hold my (hypothetical) teenage son down to get it done if needed.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Aug 1, 2012 15:47:48 GMT -5
I will say that 15 years ago I was told that Depo was the perfect birth control, no side effects, blah, blah, blah - so I would like to get the "whole story" before I believe this is an ideal solution. However, if I'm going to put my girl through some risks to make sure she isn't a "16 and Pregnant" candidate, I would make the same considerations for my son. Maybe even more so. Frankly, if my daughter gets knocked up and decides to have an abortion or keep it or whatever, it is her choice - but if my son's girlfriend gets knocked up, he can't force her to get an abortion, or anything else. My daughter holds her own fate, my son does not have that same luxury.
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on Aug 1, 2012 15:51:25 GMT -5
mutt, you could actually feel it falling out? TMI......but I can't even touch mine, its so way up there Can one even pull it out? I think if I had tried i could have just pulled it out. But it was seriously freaking me out. My OB the next was like oh it isn't falling out. Uh yeah, that was plastic I was touch last night, not my cervix or strings. See I don't really think mine is a horror story. I thought it was great for the first year. But changes in activity level, plus I stopped nursing (which can cause changes in your uterus) caused problems for me. I think IUDs can be good BC - god knows as a new mom I couldn't do anything at the same time of day because my son never did anything at the same time everyday until we were able to force a schedule on him. As a nursing mom, it limits your options in hormonal bc. I wish I would have tried implanon. It is an implant that goes in your arm and sends low dose hormones (same as mirena) at a steady rate. For hormonal BC, I think it that would be a good option for teens, once you know hormonal BC isn't going to negatively impact her. So, I think no matter what starting with the pill is the way to go and then look at other options. There are side effects no matter what you choose. Which is why I am so thankful DH is getting snipped in January.
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beags
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Post by beags on Aug 1, 2012 16:33:49 GMT -5
I think the best way to thwart teen pregnancy is to talk to your children BEFORE they become horomonal obsessed teens.
We have sex ed in the school and it covers everything . . . including a birthing video . . .yes, it's the real thing. . . they show it all.
Hubby and I have always been available to talk to the children about sex. There's so much more they need to understand along with the many usages of birth control, STD's, pregnancy . . there's also the emotional aspect (not covered in any class), and the social stigma that will stay with you until you leave town. (especially if you live in a small town) If you have a younger sibling . . such as you're the older sister . ... your younger sister will be thought of in the same way . . . and she will go through hell trying to get rid of your reputation that was given to her simply because she's related.
There is so much more involved that teens don't understand when it comes to sex. If they did understand, I think they would wait until they are mature enough to handle everything that goes with it.
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lynnerself
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Post by lynnerself on Aug 1, 2012 16:52:31 GMT -5
We never emphasized abstinence in our household, just responsibility. Frankly I was amazed that DD waited until she was 18. And down right proud that she came to me to help get her an appointment to get birth control.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Aug 1, 2012 19:27:52 GMT -5
10 sounds too long to me too - but if that is the interval it comes in, and they can reverse it - well then, it is what it is. As I said, I only have to be interested in this one more time, and that is for my son. I would be good encouraging this at any time he was in my keep - even into college. Even if he was going off as a virgin, I might say "Hey, let's just get this taken care of now, and it's all good." The rate of reversal is the key!
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justme
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Post by justme on Aug 1, 2012 20:58:49 GMT -5
The one article I read said that it's up to 10 years, but at any time you want to reverse it you can go back in to get it flushed out. Though it requires another needle.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Aug 1, 2012 21:29:04 GMT -5
I think if I had known what teenaged sex was really going to be like, I would have waited a little longer. Well, it also depends on what your definition of "sex" is. In my neck of the woods, kids in middle school are having oral sex. Because there's no penetration. You can't get pregnant having oral, and they consider themselves technically a virgin. I know it's like this in other places than where I live. I'd consider oral sex sex, but obviously the youth in my area don't. So, I'm wondering if a shift in the acts constituting sex has anything do do with the reporting.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Aug 2, 2012 8:32:57 GMT -5
Fine by me. I don't think people should even think of having kids until mid twenties. You have school and career and other things to do before making that choice. I'd have taken a ten year bc in a NYM if it had been available to me. The pill scared the crap out of me.
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973beachbum
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Post by 973beachbum on Aug 2, 2012 9:59:39 GMT -5
I just have one point I need to make about the pill and it's use and understanding of how it works in the 90's. If a woman is on the birth control pill and has to use antibiotics, maybe other things as well that I don't know about, it makes the pill as effective as a tic tac.
No one thought I needed to know that in 1995 when I was taking the pill and went on antibiotics. My DD was born 9 months later. Just saying.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Aug 2, 2012 10:02:20 GMT -5
I'd have to dig out the information but I think with the Mirena is it the same way. It's effectiveness is lowered when you take certain anti-biotics. They let you know now. The last time I was on the pill and needed an antibiotic the pharmacist explained it to me, I had to sign that he had explained it to me, there was a label on the bottle explaining to me, on the signature screen it made me sign again stating that I knew this drug intereferes with BC. I think I got the message.
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973beachbum
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Post by 973beachbum on Aug 2, 2012 10:32:25 GMT -5
I'd have to dig out the information but I think with the Mirena is it the same way. It's effectiveness is lowered when you take certain anti-biotics. They let you know now. The last time I was on the pill and needed an antibiotic the pharmacist explained it to me, I had to sign that he had explained it to me, there was a label on the bottle explaining to me, on the signature screen it made me sign again stating that I knew this drug intereferes with BC. I think I got the message. Back in the 90's it was just much easier to say the women were not taking the pills properly.
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Aug 2, 2012 10:58:08 GMT -5
Preventing teen pregnancies is a worthy goal. There's a direct link between poverty and having children young.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Aug 2, 2012 11:01:56 GMT -5
That's how I got DS, bc pills and antibiotics. I love him to death but have told him the pill isn't always 100 per cent. Told DD that as well.
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happyhoix
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Post by happyhoix on Aug 2, 2012 11:07:20 GMT -5
Preventing teen pregnancies is a worthy goal. There's a direct link between poverty and having children young. I'm thinking about the reduction in abortions. I'm pro-choice, which some people refer to as 'pro-abortion' - but NO ONE is pro- abortion. If we had a perfect world there were no unplanned pregnancies and therefore no abortions. Of course that doesn't mean teens wouldn't still plan to have a baby, not understanding the life changing consequences of being a teen mom, but at least those girls who don't intend to get pregnant would be more successful in avoiding pregnancy, statistically, if they went with an IUD.
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Aug 2, 2012 11:16:51 GMT -5
Sidebar - do you think shows like Teen Mom and 16 & Pregnant have helped or hurt teen pregnancy rates?
I'm on the fence. On one hand, the shows DO show some of the more negative aspects of teen parenthood and focus less on "OMG, what a cute baby!"
On the other hand, those girls (esp. the Teen Mom ones) have made out quite well, financially. And considering many Millenials' obsession with reality television and becoming famous, I can see some particularly naive girls thinking, "If I get pregnant I can go on 16&P and be rich and famous!"
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happyhoix
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Post by happyhoix on Aug 2, 2012 11:51:31 GMT -5
On the other hand, those girls (esp. the Teen Mom ones) have made out quite well, financially. And considering many Millenials' obsession with reality television and becoming famous, I can see some particularly naive girls thinking, "If I get pregnant I can go on 16&P and be rich and famous!" I think this exact same thing. I remember standing at the check out line at the grocery store and seeing one of the teens on the cover of one of those magazines like US or People. And I remember thinking - so crap, they're on the show, they become a celebrity and get on magazine covers, other teens see that and get pregnant so they get a chance to be on the show, too.... I would HOPE that doesn't happen, but I remember some of the dumbass stuff I schemed up when I was a young teen. And every young person now, is this day of reality TV, seems to want their shot at being the next TV star.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Aug 2, 2012 12:23:41 GMT -5
I am - I advocate for abortions of people all the time. There was some survey where they asked 2000 girls if Teen Mom made them more likely or less likely to want a baby, and it was pretty overwhelming the number of girls who said "Less Likely." I'm sure there are girls out there that think having a baby to get famous is a good idea, but I believe the statistics say that the show has done a pretty good job of showing how difficult it is, how unlikely it is that your guy is going to be Super Dad and how much college fun you will miss out on, and therefore, wait.
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KaraBoo
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Post by KaraBoo on Aug 2, 2012 12:27:44 GMT -5
On the other hand, those girls (esp. the Teen Mom ones) have made out quite well, financially. And considering many Millenials' obsession with reality television and becoming famous, I can see some particularly naive girls thinking, "If I get pregnant I can go on 16&P and be rich and famous!" I think this exact same thing. I remember standing at the check out line at the grocery store and seeing one of the teens on the cover of one of those magazines like US or People. And I remember thinking - so crap, they're on the show, they become a celebrity and get on magazine covers, other teens see that and get pregnant so they get a chance to be on the show, too.... I would HOPE that doesn't happen, but I remember some of the dumbass stuff I schemed up when I was a young teen. And every young person now, is this day of reality TV, seems to want their shot at being the next TV star. For a while, I was worried about this aspect with my youngest step-daughter. She is one of those kids that I can see getting into a world of trouble from chasing boys and getting pregnant. Since she was a baby, she's been facinated with babies and everything there is to do with babies. On top of all of that history, she's told us repeatedly that she's going to marry a rich guy and never have to work a day in her life. She's currently 11. DH and I attempt to bring her down to reality whenever possible. We've never given her the impression anything remotely to what she believes that life works the way she wants it to. They started showing the 16 & Pregnant show on one of the Spanish channels in our area, only in English with Spanish subtitles. I was really worried about how YSD would take that show. She has impressed me with starting conversations about the show and how she's not going to get pregnant until she's out of college because of how hard the girls struggle. She's commented on them dropping out of school, living with their parents and having a baby daddy that wants nothing to do with them. To ease my mind even further with her, she's been seriously talking about becoming a pediatric nurse so she can have all the access she wants to babies, but none of the long term care.
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