raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Jul 31, 2012 8:15:17 GMT -5
I didn't realize you were in Colorado either. There is of course tons of hiking, biking, snowshoeing, skiing, back country adventures if you to try something new. DH and I went caving a few years ago. I hated it, but dh loved it.
I think if I were in your boat I would pursue the martial arts. Find a studio that you can take as many classes as you can over the next month. Then you'll have basics down to practice at home and if there really aren't classes that you can make it to around your grad school schedule then you can still do once a month private training.
You're going to be very busy, and I think having something for yourself will be helpful in getting through long days of work, school, and class. There are also about 50 billion churches and congregations in and around the Denver Metro area. Visit some until you find one that you feel good about. At worst you'll get some funny stories for for future dating conversations.
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Cookies Galore
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I don't need no instructions to know how to rock
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Post by Cookies Galore on Jul 31, 2012 8:19:19 GMT -5
Join an online dating site already. Seriously. Don't go on craigslist (sorry, Dark). Think Match or something. Some people are still weird about online dating, but here is what I liked about it. Guys who asked me out in person were usually cocky chest pounding types. This could be because I attract that type of guy, but it could also be because it takes a lot to ask someone out face to face when you grew up on social media interactions. I like guys who are ambitious, curious, and intelligent. Guys like you. I am married and too old for you, so I am not trying to pick up on you, but I did a fair amount of online dating in my twenties. I met cool people. It was easy. Also, if we didn't click there was a lot less awkwardness than when I met someone off line. I met df via Craigslist. Five years and he hasn't killed me yet! Phoenix, there's gotta be something you can do to fill up your time! We live in a one-bedroom apartment and that doesn't hinder me from cooking, having cats, or df having his bike to tool around with. Build something with your man hands. Karate chop a bank robber. Read a book. Listen to old music. Anything! You need to develop some sort of basic interest in something, especially before you give dating a try. Women don't want a mopey Eyore with nothing of interest to talk about. I believe that genuinely happy people can be perfectly at ease with the down, "boring" times.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jul 31, 2012 8:35:03 GMT -5
Do you have an emergency response volunteer group? I belong to one here and there's a lot to do or as little as one meeting a month. Depends on you. We have some VERY senior citizens who make it their life's work and then you have me, who goes to the monthly meeting, takes the training when offered, and is ready to respond. Last Friday night we were alerted to help evacuate a hospital whose power was out and generator wasn't working properly. We basically back up real response crews. The time before that my group manned closed off streets so cops didn't have to and could do other things. It isn't for everybody but it's a good thing. Habitat is my other thing and although I don't work on the houses anymore, I work in the store, it's a great way to meet like-minded people. I have always been hand up not hand out charity minded so it suits me to a tee.
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Colleenz
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Post by Colleenz on Jul 31, 2012 10:11:05 GMT -5
Wrong thread
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jul 31, 2012 10:37:04 GMT -5
of course I have days where I don't feel like going home...but I never have days where I would rather be at work!
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reader79
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Post by reader79 on Jul 31, 2012 15:39:54 GMT -5
I am dreading the day that my nieces move out...which will be by the end of this week. Then maybe I will become a gym rat or something. It's the cheapest ($20/month) activity that I can think of that will keep me occupied. Now I rush home to see them before they go to bed. I used to sit at my desk and do all the little random things that I never found time for during the day.
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tloonya
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What status?
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Post by tloonya on Aug 1, 2012 12:15:26 GMT -5
"Don't you have hobbies?" Not really, just video games, and I've gotten tired of them as of late. I also don't have anyone to go home to, just seems pointless. We gotto hook Pheonix up ASAP! Who is single in the area? No one should have no one to come home to...unless they are happy loners. So! Who is taking Phoenix???
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yankee
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Post by yankee on Aug 2, 2012 14:22:39 GMT -5
Phoenix- BEEN THERE AND STILL DOING THAT.
I moved 700 miles away from family and friends to go to graduate school. Lived in a 1 bed apt, and had nothing to do when I got home.
I also have done internet dating and got the exact response as you... I sent lots of e-mails, got 1 or 2 responses out of over 100 e-mails and never more than a 2nd date. I've tried lots of different sites, but I think after age 35 and not blond, no one bothers to respond.
I have had amazing results with meetup.com Go to that website and put in your zip code. The variety is amazing! In my area, I found a many groups that go out to dinner. There is no committment past the one day's event and you can always RSVP no.
There is a group of people who meet on thursday nites at a local park and play volleyball. No fees- free court- no long term commitment. But thru that group they told me about friday social hours & other sports teams, and other recreational leagues.
I can't push you hard enough to at least go look at meetup.com
The nice thing about it is almost EVERYONE I have met through there have all been ALONE when they go to their first meetup!
Please look it up. It sounds like you and I may be in parellel universes in different parts of the country.
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movingforward
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Post by movingforward on Aug 2, 2012 14:24:24 GMT -5
No. I can honestly say I have never felt this way... not wanting to go home after being at the office for 10 hrs that is...
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movingforward
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Post by movingforward on Aug 2, 2012 14:31:04 GMT -5
of course I have days where I don't feel like going home...but I never have days where I would rather be at work! That is what happy hour is for...
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Peace Of Mind
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[font color="#8f2520"]~ Drinks Well With Others ~[/font]
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Aug 2, 2012 14:44:47 GMT -5
No. I can honestly say I have never felt this way... not wanting to go home after being at the office for 10 hrs that is... Back when I worked I felt totally opposite. I stopped wanting to go back to work and thought about being home doing what I wanted to do. Phoenix - I hope you find some good friends to hang out with and get a girlfriend soon. (((Hugs))) I think I've read where you are shy and not really talkative. Is there some kind of class or book that can teach you ways to get out of your shell more? Can you force yourself to make eye contact more and talk about the weather with strangers where you frequent to start connecting with others? Practice on random strangers until you get it right. Then use it with people you'd really like to know like the cute girl in the snacks isle.
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Malarky
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Truth and snark are equal opportunity here.
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Post by Malarky on Aug 2, 2012 15:10:05 GMT -5
If you're interested in the martial arts, go for it. Many studios welcome adult students.
Both my kids have been going for years and DH joined once they earned their black belts. He wanted it to be all about them before he started. He always wanted to do it, but his parents wouldn't let him.
There are a number of adults who only attend one class a week, or even every other week.
There is a strong sense of community in our studio. We actually socialize outside of the dojo. I would imagine that you could find people you connect with doing something you're interested.
There are also many different styles of martial arts. Around here, most places offer a free trial, if that's true where you are, you could check out which style most suits you.
I would definitely be checking out the one activity you can articulate an interest in.
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Aug 2, 2012 15:12:06 GMT -5
I often don't feel like going home after work, but having a kid whose ADHD meds are wearing off waiting for you might do that.
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susanb
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Post by susanb on Aug 2, 2012 15:15:00 GMT -5
Good advice, POM.
Also, to those who are only getting first dates....
Do you know how many awkward first dates I had to suffer through before I found a man I wanted to marry? I don't either, but it was way too many.
Nothing wrong with being single. I spent years of my adult life as a devotedly single lady, but there is nothing wrong with going on a hundred first dates either. Actually, there is plenty wrong with it, and it sucks, but there is nothing wrong with YOU if you go on a hundred first dates. In the end, it will just make you more committed to the gem you finally do find!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 2, 2012 15:55:32 GMT -5
Dang, Phoenix! I dunno what to tell you except that I understand about feeling depressed. When I'm down, it doesn't matter what kinds of great suggestions there are for things to do because by the time it's apparent to others that I'm depressed, I'm so far down that no matter what the suggestion, my self is saying to me "Leave me alone, dammit! I'm depressed. I don't want to do any of those things."
Fortunately, if it's not clinical depression, it's a self-limiting disease sort of like the common cold and eases up with time and just being involved in day-to-day stuff.
I'm thinking that when you start classes again, you'll feel a lot better and willing to try some of the suggestions given here...but you'll be too busy with work and classes and won't have time!
My experience has been that the best resources for meeting people are friends and friends of friends, co-workers, classmates. That online dating stuff? Could be...I've seen commercials recently touting get togethers hosted by Match.com. Might that be anything you'd be willing to try? Not for me...I'm way too shy and introverted, but maybe it's easier for guys to go to something like that.
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Aug 2, 2012 19:12:33 GMT -5
"Who is single in the area? No one should have no one to come home to...unless they are happy loners." I always thought we should have YM matchmakers, after all, money is a key compenent in compatability . I'll check out meetup.com. "My experience has been that the best resources for meeting people are friends and friends of friends, co-workers, classmates." It's hard to get the ball rolling when you don't have any friends in the area. Well, I tried bowling by myself after work a couple of days ago. It was fun. I took a couple of days off this week and I'm going to head up into the mountains and go to the zoo.
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wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on Aug 2, 2012 19:18:46 GMT -5
One of my friends has recommended meetup to me.
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Aug 2, 2012 20:08:27 GMT -5
We joined a meetup group here a few months back. It's been fun so far.
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drivingaround
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Post by drivingaround on Aug 2, 2012 21:25:23 GMT -5
Meetup.com is awesome! My suggestion, which is worth what you pay for it, be open to trying groups and patient while finding one or two that work for you. My first group was awesome, when members RSVP'd they showed up and the events went smoothly and were fun. My mistake was thinking ALL groups were like that.... a few other groups people RSVP and don't show then I'm frustrated I arranged my schedule to do X event that wasn't important to anyone else even though they said "yes". Organizers tend to put a lot of thought and effort into planning events, even free ones. That isn't pressure to go to all events as a plus to Meetup is picking and choosing what sounds good at that moment. I don't want to commit to soccer every Thursday!
I'm very, very shy and tend to be a listener versus converser. Meetup has helped my social skills as rather than floundering at a party trying to think of some small talk question other than "what do you do for work" at a minimum I have the topic of the group or event. Doesn't help my party skills but now I'm not as shy at the Meetup events. Also, unless you join a couples group many are in your boat, looking to make new friends, get out of the house, get out of their comfort zones.
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drivingaround
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Post by drivingaround on Aug 2, 2012 21:31:27 GMT -5
Oh, and as far as not wanting to go home I did it for four years to avoid boredom and loneliness. Consequently what got me out of it was Meetup and putting effort into committing to it. Still now I have to force myself to leave work as coming home to an empty house is lonely and reminds me of that four year period where I wasn't particularly happy. Do you like to walk/jog? I started doing it straight from office so I don't come home and just plop in front of the tv/computer. Takes about an hour and although not an activity I enjoy it does help my mental/emotional state.
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wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on Aug 2, 2012 21:54:07 GMT -5
I get much more done when I don't plop my ass on the couch even if I am tired. Just have to break the habit.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Aug 2, 2012 23:08:47 GMT -5
If you're looking for zoo + mountains then Cheyenne Mountain Zoo is fun. More expensive than Denver, but you can feed the giraffes and hike up a mountain.
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