Do you trust your instincts?

[Firebird]

DH and I were camping this weekend and got to talking with the guy in the next campsite (actually, he kind of invited himself over... and stayed...). It didn't take long before we had the same impression: dude be CRAZY PSYCHO. We waited until he wandered back to his own campsite, not wanting to alarm him, then we packed up our stuff as fast and quietly as we could, throwing it into the car at random (it was pitch black, nearly midnight, by this time). We drove away and set off for home - after making a report to the sheriff. Yes, we were that freaked.

Reasons the dude set off so many alarm bells:

1. We couldn't tell exactly what he was on, but he was *not* sober and hadn't been for a very long time.

2. He spoke quite casually of hiring an underage prostitute and putting her in front of his car so he could turn the high beams on her while she stripped. Try before you buy?

3. He spoke even MORE casually of the previous week when he and his wife (yes, his wife) had a "standoff" with the police involving their collection of automatic rifles. He mentioned the police were still looking for him... um... WTF?

4. He mentioned being "out of money." He had been at the lodge earlier that day and admitted to ordering a full meal and then leaving before he paid.

5. It wasn't so easily definable, but there was a palpable vibe that DH and I both felt from him - probably had something to do with the way he was talking about hookers, drugs, stealing food, and GUN SHOWDOWNS WITH POLICE OFFICERS like he was discussing the weather - we just both had this "feeling" he was dangerous, despite the fact that he was so drugged he wasn't really making eye contact. We sure as hell didn't want to sleep in the campsite next to him after that.

I was going to the bathroom at one point and bumped into a fellow camper in the site on the other side of us. We exchanged greetings and then she leaned forward like she was telling me a secret and said "Do me a favor - that guy, in the site next to you? I know he seems really nice but... just be careful."

So apparently we weren't the only ones to get that vibe from him.

As a general rule, I actually don't trust my instincts much. I've been known to be totally complacent in the face of real danger, and overly paranoid when everything was innocuous. However, I do trust DH's instincts. And the fact that we both got the same vibe from the same person at the same time... I feel like we made the right call on this one. We never would have been able to sleep, especially once it occurred to me that he probably still had guns in his trailer.

[moxie]

"DH and I were camping this weekend and got to talking with the guy in the next campsite (actually, he kind of invited himself over... and stayed...). It didn't take long before we had the same impression: dude be CRAZY PSYCHO. We waited until he wandered back to his own campsite, not wanting to alarm him, then we packed up our stuff as fast and quietly as we could, throwing it into the car at random (it was pitch black, nearly midnight, by this time). We drove away and set off for home - after making a report to the sheriff. Yes, we were that freaked."


^Don't rent the new release, "GONE." I would have done the same thing only WAY FASTER!!

[Deleted]

Glad you guys are okay!

I must say, I appreciate a nutball who discloses their nutballness, so you can respond appropriately.

[thyme4change]

Message deleted by thyme4change.

[swamp]

That scenario didn't require gut instinct, this guy was dropping red flags all over the place.

[andi9899]

That's craziness! I wonder if the police went over there and picked him up. I think I would have left like a thief in the night too.

[Firebird]

Hahaha thyme! We love camping! Actually, once we were safely away we were kind of pissed off that this guy ruined our weekend

moxie, DH and I were both working hard to keep our expressions neutral while this dude talked. We didn't want to scare him, and we certainly didn't want him noticing that we were packing up. DH just told him we were tired and wanted to go to bed, and we waited until he was back at his campsite before we had a powwow and confirmed our mutual "let's get the FUCK out of here NOW" feelings. Then we started packing - luckily his back was to us and to be honest, he was so tanked he probably forgot about us ten minutes after we parted company.

But you just never know.

[Deleted]

Yes, on things like that I always trust my instincts, even when I can't explain why I feel like something is "off". This guy verbally told you enough that you didn't even need good instincts to know it was probably in your best interest to get away from him.

[Deleted]

Jul 24, 2012 11:49:23 GMT -5 swamp said:

That scenario didn't require gut instinct, this guy was dropping red flags all over the place.

[midjd]

If you weren't across the country I'd swear you'd just been camping with us! Except our dude was a former bounty hunter.

Generally yes, I trust my instincts. That "vibe" you got from your fellow camper is a pretty unmistakable feeling - I don't get it often, and when I do, I take it seriously.

The difficult part is that it's usually impossible to know whether you were right - I mean, in theory, you could've slept there peacefully all night and your fellow camper would've brought you coffee and bagels in the morning. Or you could've been robbed or killed. Hard to know at this point. But IMO a lot of people - women, especially - tend to dismiss their instincts, often to their detriment. How many times do you hear "Something just didn't seem right, but I didn't want to be rude..." ?

The only times my suspicions have been backed up is when I find someone to be creepy and they are later convicted of something creepy. This has happened 3 times: 1) our campus security officer (soliciting a minor); 2) a friend of my ex (child molestation); 3) my friend's ex(murder). So again, if I get a weird vibe from someone (ESPECIALLY if it's for no apparent reason), I steer clear.

[Firebird]

That scenario didn't require gut instinct, this guy was dropping red flags all over the place.

No, but as I said - my instincts suck. My ability to pick up on red flags often sucks. I was half-convinced I was being paranoid until DH confirmed what I was thinking. Really, it's amazing I've lived this long.

andi, the sheriff indicated he was going to go and talk to him. I don't know if he ever did that. But I'm glad we made a report. The campsite was packed - and there were tons of little kids running around. I wouldn't have felt good about just taking off without letting anyone know we suspected there was a dangerous guy hanging out there.

[Deleted]

I don't see what's wrong with hanging out with a tweaked out pedophile on the run from police and possible armed.

[swamp]

Jul 24, 2012 11:54:55 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

I don't see what's wrong with hanging out with a tweaked out pedophile on the run from police and possible armed.

I call it a good weekend!!!!

[zibazinski]

I hope the police did show up but I doubt it.

[Reckless Roselia]

Do you trust your instincts?

I always do trust my gut instincts.

[femmefatale]

Yes, I most certainly trust my instincts. They're usually almost, always right.

[steph08]

Jul 24, 2012 11:53:20 GMT -5 @moneyjenny82 said:

Jul 24, 2012 11:49:23 GMT -5 swamp said:

That scenario didn't require gut instinct, this guy was dropping red flags all over the place.

Ditto!

Glad you got the heck out of there. Better safe than sorry!

Yesterday I went for a run and a mile into it, I encountered a guy walking in front of me. I couldn't tell what he was holding (it looked like a broom and two paint cans ) and I wasn't sure if he had been helping out his buddies down the street and just walked home (on the road - we live in the boonies and have no sidewalks) or what. I would have had to pass him right as I turned into the heavily wooded, dirt road that has no houses for a mile. If he followed me, I would have been toast.

Instead, I turned and took a new route that I had never run before but that didn't include any strange guys walking down the road.

[Firebird]

Oh... and this is the reason I don't really camp anymore. I'm not sure if was tv or movies, but at one point, I just didn't feel safe sleeping in a tent... damn shame really.

I can appreciate that. You really are pretty exposed. If I were a serial killer or even a thief, campsites would be the places I'd target.

Of course, 99% of the people who like camping are good sorts who would go out of their way to help strangers more than the average person. What you mainly have to watch out for are bears.

I don't think I'd go camping alone at this stage in my life but DH has gone so much in his lifetime that he's seen it all and could deal with pretty much any contingency that came our way. He's actually woken up with a bear staring down into his tent before

The difficult part is that it's usually impossible to know whether you were right - I mean, in theory, you could've slept there peacefully all night and your fellow camper would've brought you coffee and bagels in the morning. Or you could've been robbed or killed. Hard to know at this point. But IMO a lot of people - women, especially - tend to dismiss their instincts, often to their detriment. How many times do you hear "Something just didn't seem right, but I didn't want to be rude..." ?

Yup. And this is how I've gotten myself into pickles before. Especially in my early twenties. I would constantly repeat the following pattern: I'd be in a social situation, my hackles would be raised for zero reason whatsoever, I'd GTFO and later convince myself it was all in my head, then I'd be in another social situation where my hackles were not raised at all and something bad would happen.

Rinse and repeat.

So like I said, I have generally learned that my instincts are not super trustworthy.

[midjd]

No, but as I said - my instincts suck. My ability to pick up on red flags often sucks. I was half-convinced I was being paranoid until DH confirmed what I was thinking. Really, it's amazing I've lived this long.

Haha, this is my mom. I'm surprised she hasn't been dumped in a quarry by now (and I say that with love) She has a habit of befriending drunks/derelicts/homeless people and also picks up hitchhikers. She does usually know the hitchhikers (small town) but considering who some of them are, you might be safer with a complete stranger!

She also decided (with my brother) to walk to McD's one night when they were visiting us in NYC. Except that they were staying in East Orange. They made it there and back unscathed... sometimes I think there must be someone looking out for those people who can't pick up on red flags

[Firebird]

I hope the police did show up but I doubt it.

It was a quiet night (according to him). I'm pretty sure he really did go over there, but whether he did anything is up for grabs.

What could he really do? It's not like we gave him anything concrete to go on.

[swamp]

Jul 24, 2012 12:01:35 GMT -5 Firebird said:

I hope the police did show up but I doubt it.

It was a quiet night (according to him). I'm pretty sure he really did go over there, but whether he did anything is up for grabs.

What could he really do? It's not like we gave him anything concrete to go on.

If there is a warrant out for him like the drunk guy said there was, they do a warrant check and arrest him.

[Colleenz]

Next time don't set up camp next to Dark.

[CarolinaKat]

Actually, If I had been you, I'd have just gotten in the car and gone to a hotel and come back the next day for the stuff.... screw packing in the middle of the night crap when *I"M PREGGO* and there's a nutty man next door.

And yes I listen to my instincts... When I ignore them nothing good happens to me, when I listen to them usually nothing bad happens to me, but I might feel pretty stupid after...

[Firebird]

She also decided (with my brother) to walk to McD's one night when they were visiting us in NYC. Except that they were staying in East Orange. They made it there and back unscathed... sometimes I think there must be someone looking out for those people who can't pick up on red flags

Seriously! Particularly when I lived in NYC, I was such an idiot. It really is amazing I survived...

[Firebird]

If there is a warrant out for him like the drunk guy said there was, they do a warrant check and arrest him.

That was what we were hoping.

Next time don't set up camp next to Dark.



Actually, If I had been you, I'd have just gotten in the car and gone to a hotel and come back the next day for the stuff.... screw packing in the middle of the night crap when *I"M PREGGO* and there's a nutty man next door.

We didn't want to have to come back. We were watching this guy really carefully and like I said - he was so tanked he could barely walk. We certainly would have seen him coming if he'd decided to head back, in which case I was planning to say that I was going into labor and needed to get to the hospital.

[moxie]

"the sheriff indicated he was going to go and talk to him."


^See, YOU TWO, random campers reported strange behavior that sent up red flags. WHY didn't the gun range owner at least report the odd message on that Aurora, CO shooter's machine??? Who knows...if the police would have showed up at his place just to talk to him...could something have prevented this tragedy???

[Gardening Grandma]

Yes, I do trust my instincts. I also think they've gotten better over the years.

Back in the days when DH and I were actively scuba diving, there was more than one occasion when I told him, "I'm going to sit this one (dive) out". He never gave me any guff about it - often he'd sit it out too....

When trying to make a hard decision, I've learned to check my gut feelings and give that as much (if not more) weight as all of the rational pros and cons....

[Firebird]

^See, YOU TWO, random campers reported strange behavior that sent up red flags. WHY didn't the gun range owner at least report the odd message on that Aurora, CO shooter's machine??? Who knows...if the police would have showed up at his place just to talk to him...could something have prevented this tragedy???

Maybe people feel dumb reporting things that simply strike them as odd but aren't based on anything concrete. I know I do. At one point while we were talking to the officer, I actually said (to myself) "STOP apologizing... you are reporting a suspicion... nothing wrong with that... you are NOT wasting his time." I felt rather like we were.

But it helps to have backup. DH was still pretty freaked out and kept saying how glad he was that we'd left. And once we'd made the report we were both glad we'd done that too. At least they had some record of this guy being there.

[happyhoix]

"That scenario didn't require gut instinct, this guy was dropping red flags all over the place. "

This. Maybe he was just drunk and bragging, but maybe not.

I have a cynical nature and think people are generally crap so my gut instincts generally tend to the worst. I know that, though, so I try not to act on them unless, like in this case, there really are red flags. DH is a much nicer, more trusting person so I try to temper my crappy paranoia with his more common sense approach.

I think, though, if we ever have a zombie outbreak, my instincts will be far more useful than his.

[shanendoah]

If I were a serial killer or even a thief, campsites would be the places I'd target.
We both know very well that if you were a serial killer, you would target people you met on internet message boards, attach yourself to some local tragedy, and then ask them to pick you up at the airport and drive you out to the middle of nowhere at night.

And there's nothing wrong with following your instincts. Why do you think DH decided to come along when I volunteered to pick you up at the airport and drive you out to the middle of nowhere at night? (His instincts, not mine.)