Parents...

[Deleted]

did you or plan to celebrate when your youngest leaves the home or mail in your last child support payment?

One of the managers I worked with in the past just invited me to a party he is throwing. He is going all out: limo ride to the location, catered, etc. Also he is car shopping this weekend, he wants a Mercedes Benz.

He is 53 and has been paying child support for 30 years: oldest from wife #1 is 32 (they split when he was barely 1) and youngest from wife #2 is turning 21 on August 3rd when his child support payment will stop.

He cannot wait lol, talking to him you would think he was a 15 year old girl planning her sweet 16th lol. I wonder for how long he has been counting down to that day.

I wonder if other parents have done or plan to do something like that? I wonder how the kids would feel if they knew?

"my money is all mine again... ALL MINE" lol!

[simser]

My parents threatened to turn my room into the "hot tub" room when I left for college (I'm an only). They SWORE that they would drop me off and go home with a tape measure.

It took them 3 years after I graduated college and got married before they took my room back. I'm STILL not happy about it but at least it's becoming a family joke.

[chiver78]

I think it's a bit sick, actually. I don't suppose it ever occurred to him that if he made better choices, he might not have been hit with those CS payments? after all, he's been divorced twice. once, okay you made a mistake. twice? makes me wonder what's wrong with him.

[muttleynfelix]

Well my parents put in hot tub when I went to college and after they dropped me off, they went on vacation. . Also, my wedding was a huge party to say they got all 3 of us married off (to people my parents presumably like)

[Deleted]

Jul 19, 2012 21:34:33 GMT -5 simser said:

My parents threatened to turn my room into the "hot tub" room when I left for college (I'm an only). They SWORE that they would drop me off and go home with a tape measure.

It took them 3 years after I graduated college and got married before they took my room back. I'm STILL not happy about it but at least it's becoming a family joke.

My uncle and aunt had a den next to their son room so when he left they knock down the wall, turned the two rooms into one big master with seating area and walk in closet. They use their old master as a guest room (old house so not really a master compared to today's standards as in no walk in closet, just slightly bigger then the others and no on suite bathroom).

It took her youngest of 3 to leave home for her to finally get the bedroom she always wanted. Next goal: Europe with no kids to worry about and pay attention to.

[Deleted]

Jul 19, 2012 21:35:13 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

I think it's a bit sick, actually. I don't suppose it ever occurred to him that if he made better choices, he might not have been hit with those CS payments? after all, he's been divorced twice. once, okay you made a mistake. twice? makes me wonder what's wrong with him.

Oh come on chiver, chilax!

I don't think for a second he regrets having his kids and his youngest just came to spend the week with him without being asked or bribed, you know at that age where you barely want to be around your parents?

As of August 3rd he will stop paying $300/week in child support and be done for good. I guess he is just happy at the prospect of suddenly having that much money and looking for ways to spend some of it: Big party, Mercedes Benz, and other toys etc.

If he was still married to their mothers and did that after dropping off their youngest on campus or when they move out, it would be ok; but becaus he is divorce and it is in the form of child support the idea/action is sick?

Why the double standard? So if I have a kid with my wife and I go out and buy thy bike I always wanted when he/she moves out it is ok if we are still married but if we are divorce it is in poor taste?

Did I get it right?

[KaraBoo]

I have told all 4 of my kids (3 steps, 1 bio) that the day the youngest graduates high school, I will be busy the next day - buying my new sports car.

I've been driving a Suburban for 6 years now and I want a tiny little car that no one can fit in but me and one other person. It's not about getting rid of the kids so much as a statement that my life is back to being "mine".

My kids all think it's funny and like to point out the different types of cars I like when they see them on the roads. I've only got 6 more years to wait!

[Formerly SK]

$300/wk for ONE kid? Yikes!

[Deleted]

Jul 19, 2012 22:34:28 GMT -5 Formerly SK said:

$300/wk for ONE kid? Yikes!

No, for two. When the middle child turned 21 (now 23) he did not bother trying to get it reduced since his ex was at the time unemployed and could use the money.

When his oldest was under 21 it was $420/week
- $120/week for his oldest by wife 1
- $300/week for middle and younger by wife 2

[Deleted]

Jul 19, 2012 22:48:34 GMT -5 @hootieman said:

Instead of taking care of kids, I'm taking care of a parent. I don't want him to croak but when he does, I am going to take a big vacation.

A vacation always help the grieving process.
Any place in mind?

[thyme4change]

I told my husband when I was pregnant that for my last kid's graduation I was going to buy myself a 2-seater sports car. He's all for it.

And then, after my sister and my BIL became empty nesters, they went out and bought 2 sports cars. I guess there is a reward for 20 years of mini-vans.

[8 Bit WWBG]

I'll probably do something similar when I make my last CC payment. Though the "celebration" will probably be increasing automatic savings, investing in stocks, and saving for a rental.

Perhaps older people are envious of the "me me me" attitude of the millenials, and want a piece of the action. I don't see anything wrong with it. By YM standards, he probably paid support for a lot longer than it is appropriate to support a child. After all, kids are supposed to be out the door and independent at age 18.

Good for him though. Nothing wrong with him spending some of his money on himself. If not now, then when?

[giramomma]

No, we probably won't do anything special that requires money. We also don't spend over 1K/month on our kids, either.

Our celebrations will be more subdued, as for us, it's the small things we miss.

We'll celebrate by sleeping in (right now, sleeping in means up at 6:30 the latest) choosing to do nothing, or choosing to spend our time on hobbies. Maybe we'll even have uninterrupted adult conversations before 8 pm. Or have day where we have some nookie, take a nap, and have another round of nookie again. I could see us going away for a weekend on the spur of the moment and being giddy over only needing to pack one bag.

[moxie]

At freshman orientation for college, most tell you to keep your child's room as is for awhile, so as not to upset them.

I know people who have had mortgage burning parties. All paid off!

[moxie]

"When DD moved out we celebrated by having sex in the middle of the afternoon! And loudly!!"

hehehehe

[moxie]

My friends all asked me if I cried after moving my two kids into their dorms freshman year and leaving them on their own...

Yeah right...for all of five minutes...

[moxie]

Should I feel guilty?

[zibazinski]

I cried for the first one. The second one I was so glad that I had to pretend to feel sad!

[moxie]

I told my friends when they asked that hubby and I drove straight to the airport from the college to catch our flight to our Caribbean cruise destination. lol

[zibazinski]

Are you kidding? I'm doing the happy dance that financial support for college ends this December! No way will I not celebrate! I'm so over being the bank of Mom! Totally my fault for always giving in but I keep thinking it'll end soon. SOON-hurry up!

[moxie]

lol zib!! I hear ya!

[moxie]

Bank of Mom...I like that! ;D

[zibazinski]

For some it's the bank of mom and dad. I like it much better when it's the bank of dad not mom!

[alabamagal]

Hear my cheer...."4 more weeks, 4 more weeks", that is when youngest heads off to college!!! Middle child has been home for the summer and will start at the same time.

On a down note (as far as having the kids out of the house today), my oldest is heading home today, graduates college next Friday and will probably spend a year at home working and hoping to start grad school next fall.

But at least it will be my daughter who is much more sociable than the 2 boys.

As far as $$, I was glad when son graduated high school since we were paying private school tuition for 12 years. College is paid for by scholarships and kids have to kick in some money so it is cheaper for me.

[zibazinski]

I don't believe it makes us bad parents for wanting the best for our children but also wanting to be out from under the debt. I know I can use that extra money for my security and happiness.

[NoNamePerson]

I always looked at children leaving home as the natural order of things

[happyhoix]

Jul 20, 2012 6:12:55 GMT -5 @daphne87 said:

When DD moved out we celebrated by having sex in the middle of the afternoon! And loudly!!

We told DS not to come home unannounced because we now walk around bare ass naked all the time.

We don't, we just wanted to give him that mind picture that he will forever be unable to erase.

He graduated from college in May and has a great job. I haven't been able to get him to move all his crap out yet (his room will be a man cave for DH). Not really celebrating, but we'll pay off our last mortgage payment in about 1 year and that I think we will celebrate.

[Deleted]

Jul 20, 2012 5:09:39 GMT -5 giramomma said:

No, we probably won't do anything special that requires money. We also don't spend over 1K/month on our kids, either.

Our celebrations will be more subdued, as for us, it's the small things we miss.

We'll celebrate by sleeping in (right now, sleeping in means up at 6:30 the latest) choosing to do nothing, or choosing to spend our time on hobbies. Maybe we'll even have uninterrupted adult conversations before 8 pm. Or have day where we have some nookie, take a nap, and have another round of nookie again. I could see us going away for a weekend on the spur of the moment and being giddy over only needing to pack one bag.

to all of that. I don't think there's anything wrong with being happy to have your life back after raising your kids to adulthood.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I'll be thrilled to have the bathroom all to myself again.

[Deleted]

I think as tongue in cheek type comments or a party, that is fine. I think it really depends on the attitude and relationship you have towards your kids.