Connection between partying and success?

[susanb]

Lately I have been wondering if there is a connection between if people party in high school and college and their success.

My theory is that social/networking skills are at least as important as other skills in careers and that people who have never went to parties in high school or college are 1. not as interested in socializing or 2. didn't build the same social chops since they didn't/couldn't/wouldn't go.

I know lots of high school and college "overachievers" that got incredible GPA's, but haven't gotten anywhere close they wanted to be professionally. And, of course, the converse. We all know people who have networked, socialized, some might even say partied their way right to the top.

Of course, this is just something I think about when I am driving to work, not scientific or factual or intended to insult any party people/non-party people.

Thoughts?

[swamp]

The most successful attorneys that I know seem to be the average students with spectacular people skills. The 4 judges in our county seem to fit that bill.

[Deleted]

What if I was a partier and never had any success? << looks up nearest AA Meeting >>

[midjd]

I agree with Swamp.

I don't have great schmoozing skills - I'm very much an introvert. But I'm slowly learning, or at least trying to. My boss was a legend partier and is probably the best "people person" I know. He could tell you your dog died and your house burned down, but at the end of the conversation you'd be thanking him.

The converse - there are a few attorneys I know who aren't taken seriously enough to be considered for a judgeship because they are too "flighty."

As with everything, I think there's a happy medium. But unless you have the type of career where you can work in an office and never interact with another human, those people skills are just as important as intellectual skills.

[susanb]

Jul 18, 2012 11:19:36 GMT -5 @beerwench said:

What if I was a partier and never had any success? << looks up nearest AA Meeting >>

Then be a good YMer and put a quarter, not a dollar, in the basket when they pass it around for coffee and pastry donation money.

[movingforward]

I agree that social skills are pretty important. I partied in high school and college but still managed to have a decent grade point average - around a 3.25. I enjoyed partying WAY too much to devote enough time to make a 4.0. I think I have good social skills though and lots of people have told me I would do well in sales. I actually took one of those tests a few years ago that determined what career you would excel at and I placed in the 98 percentile for sales. I have just never had any desire to do sales though. I do really well in my current job because I have to work with a board and committees on a daily basis. My social skills definitely come in handy.

[Firebird]

Social skills are good to have, but what part of "partying" gives you practice at them? The part where you do tequila shots with strangers, or the part where you dance on the bar?

[swamp]

Jul 18, 2012 11:28:56 GMT -5 Firebird said:

Social skills are good to have, but what part of "partying" gives you practice at them? The part where you do tequila shots with strangers, or the part where you dance on the bar?

The part where you walk around a party and talk to people and meet new people.

Not all partying results in drunken debauchery. That's fun and all, but there is a skill in being able to work a party.

[susanb]

Jul 18, 2012 11:28:56 GMT -5 Firebird said:

Social skills are good to have, but what part of "partying" gives you practice at them? The part where you do tequila shots with strangers, or the part where you dance on the bar?

I want to go to a bar with Firebird! I know you can't take tequila shots since you are pregnant, but you can still dance on the bar!

[jaya3300]

The most successful people I know had the combination of : intelligence, social skills, personality, personal connections, and luck. Social skills are important but it's just a part of it.

[Firebird]

Jul 18, 2012 11:32:12 GMT -5 susanb said:

Jul 18, 2012 11:28:56 GMT -5 Firebird said:

Social skills are good to have, but what part of "partying" gives you practice at them? The part where you do tequila shots with strangers, or the part where you dance on the bar?

I want to go to a bar with Firebird! I know you can't take tequila shots since you are pregnant, but you can still dance on the bar!

Aww It's so nice that people think I would be fun to party with sober

I LOVE dancing on bars but I think people would frown on a preggo doing that... unless they were freaky.

[happyhoix]

I think it depends on the type of job.

I would agree that extraverted, social networking people do well in jobs where that skill is important - ministery, most business jobs, lawyers, sales people.

However just because you're intraverted and avoid social situations doesn't mean you'll be a failure. I'm very introverted, but I went the science/engineering route and we're not generally known for our social skills, but as long as you aren't so anti social you come off as 'weird' (think Sheldon on the Big Bang theory) you can do well in most science careers. There are other jobs - most of the skilled technical jobs (electricians, for instance), some segments of the artistic community (novelists are often very solitary), a lot of the behind-the-scene corporate jobs like accounting and manufacturing - where not being very social isn't necessary a career killer.

One problem with several of the social/party type people I knew in HS was they didn't know when to stop partying. I had a friend who was probably a genius, very good at school, and the life of the party. Unfortunately he rarely went to class in college, developed a drinking problem, flunked out of school, drifted from entry level job to entry level job, wound up in re-hab, and then finally, late in life, managed to sober up and keep a steady, if not stellar, job. So being good at social networking doesn't guarantee success.

[susanb]

Interesting points, Happy. Just to clarify, I am talking about people who go to parties in high school and college, not people who have substance abuse problems, like your friend. Being addicted to drugs or alcohol is a pretty big obstacle to overcome.

Also, I have noticed that tech people are not generally extroverts, but the ones who are sociable and good at tech get the c-jobs and tend to out earn those who are more technologically talented since they can manage techs/tech projects. It that also true in other less social field like engineering, science or accounting?

ETA: Also, I don't think introverts are destined to be failures. Few people are straight up introverts or extroverts, most of us are somewhere on the spectrum even in the course of a day. I am very introverted in the morning. Seriously. Don't talk to me. But become much more extroverted after 8 p.m. I have also learned how to schmooze, as Mid put it, because it is necessary for 25-30% of my job.

[happyhoix]

"Also, I have noticed that tech people are not generally extroverts, but the ones who are sociable and good at tech get the c-jobs and tend to out earn those who are more technologically talented since they can manage techs/tech projects. It that also true in other less social field like engineering, science or accounting?"

Just within my company, all the people with science/engineering degrees generally tend to stay in their science/engineering departments and are promoted primarily for managing programs and projects, not so much people. However the guy running the company is an industrial engineer who has very good social skills - I doubt any of the rest of us science/engineering department managers would be promoted into his job (and to be honest, I don't think most of us want that kind of promotion - I would much rather manage a system than manage people.) There is one engineer I think wants to get the top spot at some point but he would be horrible in it, he has very little empathy and is not persuasive at all. I would say the top five people in the company all have very good social skills (although only one is an engineer) with the exception of the guy who inherited the company from his daddy.

I guess for him his skill set didn't really matter, who is daddy is did.

[Deleted]

I just slept my way to the top, easy enough

[thyme4change]

Didn't Malcolm Gladwell cover something like this? I think it goes to perception.

If you are a lawyer, a doctor, a plumber, etc. and you work with people who treat you as an expert in your field, their perception of you isn't based on facts, it is based on how they 'feel' about you. So, a doctor who is super nice with a great bedside manner is consistently ranked higher in competancy than one who is cold to his patients. How else can you really evaluate your doctor? The body can be unpredicatble, and it also has an amazing ability to heal itself, so if you like your doctor, you give him credit for your cold going away. Your doctor is a jerk, you blame him for the unrelated rash you got after visiting him (and then rolling around in poison ivy.) The same is true for lawyers - if you don't know squat about the law, can you really tell if your lawyer is doing all the right things, or do you just trust them because he/she makes you feel like they are doing all the right things.

This can be applied even when someone knows what you are suppose to be doing. I know plenty of people who lack some basic skills, but know how to make people feel like they are getting value from them. Even if you point out facts to the boss about the weaknesses, you are countered with "That may not be his strength, but we need him in other areas."

[simser]

I'm an extremely "social" person who was never a cool kid invited to parties. However, my "talent" is friending those who have no friends. At work in already known for my ability to talk to anyone. So I don't think partying is needed, but the ability to make people comfortable is very important.

[Tiny]

Jul 18, 2012 11:28:56 GMT -5 Firebird said:

Social skills are good to have, but what part of "partying" gives you practice at them? The part where you do tequila shots with strangers, or the part where you dance on the bar?

Yeah, this.

FWIW: I've found that many people use the common experiences of College Partying as a way to connect with someone they've just met. After talking about the weather, sports, and TV, they may start to talk about their college 'experiences' = especially if they are meeting/sociallizing where alcohol is served.

I did not party so I have never woken up in a puddle of vomit or been so drunk I don't remember what happen nor do I have a near endless list of 'embarrassing' things I've done while drunk to share with other people.

[Sum Dum Gai]

I did not party so I have never woken up in a puddle of vomit or been so drunk I don't remember what happen nor do I have a near endless list of 'embarrassing' things I've done while drunk to share with other people.

Huh... that would easily eliminate 90% of my usual conversation starters that I use with strangers. What the hell is left to talk about? Our kids? Lame. The weather? Boring. Sports? Lame.

[Deleted]

It is good to really evaluate oneself. If you aren't a people person and an introvert, then you might be much more suited to a career that is heavier on certain skills and abilities that don't involve the need to socialize your way to the top. I never won many popularity contests so i always assumed i would do better getting by on other skills. ;D

[Firebird]

I never won many popularity contests so i always assumed i would do better getting by on other skills. ;D

There's always the rob base method

I love hearing about people's wild college partying. I encourage them whenever I can.