Funny flubs in medical notes

[Sam_2.0]

LOL!

This week I had to call a customer and explain the difference between lights & electricity. We are the power company, so we supply electricity to the property. But we don't come out & fix the lights that don't work. You have to call an electrician for anything on your side of the meter. The lady just could not understand how the lights were powered by electricity, but we would not come out to fix them

And then there was the one who cracked up and told me I was hilarious for telling her that her furnace was gas, and her AC was electric. "Come on now, they are plugged into the same THERMOSTAT! DUH!!" She had a hard time realizing that they were two separate appliances and could have very different fuel sources.

And the lady who thought that lights (overhead) and electric (wall sockets) were two different things!! She called us twice because she had to get the lights & the electric put into her name for her new apartment. I really wonder how some people are allowed to live on their own.

[Apple]

If this was a man, maybe my ultimate anatomy dream has come true!

[Apple]

As a maintenance electrician, I find those hilarious, Sam!

I've been asked if you can "use up the electrons in copper wire" and some other good ones.

[Deleted]

I'm not sure if this is in the same class as you guys, but I get parents that often tell me, "Johnny needs an A in this course." How do you politely tell them, "Well, I hope it works out that way"?

[Apple]

Jul 17, 2012 23:13:42 GMT -5 @southernsusana said:

I'm not sure if this is in the same class as you guys, but I get parents that often tell me, "Johnny needs an A in this course." How do you politely tell them, "Well, I hope it works out that way"?

I think the nicest response I could give would be "I'd be happy to give him an A if he earns it!"

[zibazinski]

Doesn't it scare you that these people walk among us, breed, and vote?

[InsertCoolName]

A friend of mine couldn't understand how the bank was saying she didn't have any money in her account because she still had a bunch of checks.

[NancysSummerSip]

A friend of mine couldn't understand how the bank was saying she didn't have any money in her account because she still had a bunch of checks.

First cousin to this:

A former salesperson here was overdrawn on his checking account for months. Could not figure out why. Finally went to the bank to get things reconciled. Turned out he was using his debit card past the point where he had money in the account.
His response: "I don't understand why merchants are still taking it if there's no money in the account!"

True story.

[chiver78]

Jul 17, 2012 22:11:33 GMT -5 Apple said:

As a maintenance electrician, I find those hilarious, Sam!

I've been asked if you can "use up the electrons in copper wire" and some other good ones.

wow. as an automation engineer, I've been asked how a system will run if I've "taken the program out of it?" when I save a copy to my own laptop.

[chiver78]

Jul 18, 2012 5:40:03 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

Doesn't it scare you that these people walk among us, breed, and vote?

YES!!!

[andi9899]

I was trying to explain to a lady that we paid all of her damages under her claim except her $2K deductible. She said she already paid it. I asked who she gave it to. She said claims took it off the top of her settlement. I said yes, that means you have to pay it to one of the contractors. She finally got frustrated and said all she wanted to know was when we were going to send her the money for her gutters and to figure it out and call her back.

[Rocky Mtn Saver]

Years ago, I ran across a supervisor's report that stated an employee had been reprimanded for "using profound language over the intercom." I'm pretty sure he meant "profane" language. But ever since then, I can only imagine some 18-year old retail employee picking up a mic and saying, "Attn customers: I think, therefore I am."

[alabamagal]

Jul 18, 2012 10:14:25 GMT -5 Rocky Mtn Saver said:

Years ago, I ran across a supervisor's report that stated an employee had been reprimanded for "using profound language over the intercom." I'm pretty sure he meant "profane" language. But ever since then, I can only imagine some 18-year old retail employee picking up a mic and saying, "Attn customers: I think, therefore I am."

[973beachbum]

Jul 17, 2012 22:09:27 GMT -5 Sam_2.0 said:

LOL!

This week I had to call a customer and explain the difference between lights & electricity. We are the power company, so we supply electricity to the property. But we don't come out & fix the lights that don't work. You have to call an electrician for anything on your side of the meter. The lady just could not understand how the lights were powered by electricity, but we would not come out to fix them

And then there was the one who cracked up and told me I was hilarious for telling her that her furnace was gas, and her AC was electric. "Come on now, they are plugged into the same THERMOSTAT! DUH!!" She had a hard time realizing that they were two separate appliances and could have very different fuel sources.

And the lady who thought that lights (overhead) and electric (wall sockets) were two different things!! She called us twice because she had to get the lights & the electric put into her name for her new apartment. I really wonder how some people are allowed to live on their own.

I had a fun telephone call with my electric company about an oil fired heater. I think we had a service plan type thing and there was a problem with the wiring leading to that outlet. She couldn't understand why my "oil fired" heater wouldn't work if it didn't have electricity to the plug. I can't remember how many times I said it had an electric ignition and a was a hot air system. How was the fan supposed to work without electricity? Was I supposed to have little people inside blowing on it?

[taz157]

Jul 18, 2012 10:14:25 GMT -5 Rocky Mtn Saver said:

Years ago, I ran across a supervisor's report that stated an employee had been reprimanded for "using profound language over the intercom." I'm pretty sure he meant "profane" language. But ever since then, I can only imagine some 18-year old retail employee picking up a mic and saying, "Attn customers: I think, therefore I am."

[fwjone819]

Person calls on the phone. Says "I have this rash. Can you tell me what it is?"
UMMMM sure, put the phone up close to it so I can see it better.
Read this in my own medical chart "estimated ETA is about 20 minutes".
UMMM ETA is shorthand for estimated time of arrival so whoever wrote that really said ...the estimated estimated time of arrival is about 20 minutes. Must be stammering of the pen/keyboard or something.
Oh, and I was in the store once during winter time when we were having ice storms. The first person in line commented on their concern if power went out because they couldn't heat their all electric house.
Second person in line commented that she wasn't worried at all. She had just bought a top of the line gas cook stove and their new forced air furnace was propane. She was quite proud of herself until I ask if her cook stove had electronic ignition instead of pilot light (yes) and did her furnace have blowers (yes?) well, then if you don't have electricity, those things won't work either.
geez

[Angel!]

These are hilarious.

I used to take calls for a student loan company/colleges. I had one lady that I argued with for close to an hour. She received a pell grant & it paid for her classes. She then dropped out mid-semester so she lost the grant money, but still had to pay for the classes. She kept arguing that I was making her pay for classes twice. "You guys already got money for the classes, I am not going to pay for the classes a second time" I tried so many way to explain to her that she isn't paying twice, she finally hung up angry & still thinking she was getting screwed.

[spartan7886]

Jul 18, 2012 22:24:40 GMT -5 fwjone819 said:

Person calls on the phone. Says "I have this rash. Can you tell me what it is?"
UMMMM sure, put the phone up close to it so I can see it better.
Read this in my own medical chart "estimated ETA is about 20 minutes".
UMMM ETA is shorthand for estimated time of arrival so whoever wrote that really said ...the estimated estimated time of arrival is about 20 minutes. Must be stammering of the pen/keyboard or something.
Oh, and I was in the store once during winter time when we were having ice storms. The first person in line commented on their concern if power went out because they couldn't heat their all electric house.
Second person in line commented that she wasn't worried at all. She had just bought a top of the line gas cook stove and their new forced air furnace was propane. She was quite proud of herself until I ask if her cook stove had electronic ignition instead of pilot light (yes) and did her furnace have blowers (yes?) well, then if you don't have electricity, those things won't work either.
geez

The stove's no issue. My electronic ignition has been broken since I moved in 2 years ago. Turn the gas on, hit it with a long lighter, and you're good to go.

[Deleted]

Jul 19, 2012 11:23:19 GMT -5 spartan7886 said:

Jul 18, 2012 22:24:40 GMT -5 fwjone819 said:

Person calls on the phone. Says "I have this rash. Can you tell me what it is?"
UMMMM sure, put the phone up close to it so I can see it better.
Read this in my own medical chart "estimated ETA is about 20 minutes".
UMMM ETA is shorthand for estimated time of arrival so whoever wrote that really said ...the estimated estimated time of arrival is about 20 minutes. Must be stammering of the pen/keyboard or something.
Oh, and I was in the store once during winter time when we were having ice storms. The first person in line commented on their concern if power went out because they couldn't heat their all electric house.
Second person in line commented that she wasn't worried at all. She had just bought a top of the line gas cook stove and their new forced air furnace was propane. She was quite proud of herself until I ask if her cook stove had electronic ignition instead of pilot light (yes) and did her furnace have blowers (yes?) well, then if you don't have electricity, those things won't work either.
geez

The stove's no issue. My electronic ignition has been broken since I moved in 2 years ago. Turn the gas on, hit it with a long lighter, and you're good to go.

Medically ETA can also mean viscosity.

[KaraBoo]

One time, DH and I were walking through a parking lot on our way to dinner when an older woman (probably in her 50's) in a car gestured wildly for us to come over.

Through the glass window with her yelling for us to be able to hear her, she insisted she was locked inside her car and that she was going to die of suffocation if we didn't help her. Her car would not start (loose battery connection) and she insisted the locks only unlocked electronically. She kept repeatedly pulling on the door handle to prove to us the door was locked and she could not get out.

We kept telling her to just unlock the door (slide latch right next to the handle) and she kept tugging on the handle. At least 5 minutes of us attempting to help her and she finally gets it and manually unlocks the door from the inside. She blew out of the car with a huge, "Thank GOD!! I just KNEW I was going to DIE!!! You SAVED my LIFE!"

If it wasn't for the other couple that had wandered up while all of this was going on - I would have thought I had imagined the whole event. After she finally drove off, the other couple and us looked at each other, shook our heads in a "did that just happen?" motion and then busted out laughing.