Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Jul 2, 2012 15:04:47 GMT -5
Of course, I'm not married anymore either. Maybe this is part of the reason why........
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Jul 2, 2012 15:09:22 GMT -5
I respectfully disagree. I think it is important to be able to decompress at the end of the day (and nothing puts either DH or me into a bad mood more quickly than walking in the door to a litany of "Hey I need you to...."s). I don't think there's anything wrong with either spouse taking a few minutes to him or herself before jumping into "home time."
Of course, this assumes that both spouses give each other ample 'fire-staring' time, and that we're talking 5-10 minutes, not half the evening.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 2, 2012 15:12:19 GMT -5
I respectfully disagree. I think it is important to be able to decompress at the end of the day (and nothing puts either DH or me into a bad mood more quickly than walking in the door to a litany of "Hey I need you to...."s). I don't think there's anything wrong with either spouse taking a few minutes to him or herself before jumping into "home time." Of course, this assumes that both spouses give each other ample 'fire-staring' time, and that we're talking 5-10 minutes, not half the evening. I agree with you, but as swamp said, you need to take everyone else's needs into consideration before decompressing. Sure, I'd like to be able to decompress as soon as I get in the door, but the baby wouldn't appreciate me leaving him in his car seat while I sit and watch TV for 10 minutes.
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Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Jul 2, 2012 15:13:03 GMT -5
I see what you are saying. Like I said.......no kids.....no husband......what do I know?
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jul 2, 2012 15:26:23 GMT -5
I don't think there's anything wrong with either spouse taking a few minutes to him or herself before jumping into "home time." It really depends. When Gwen wa sa newborn there really wasn't time for either of us to sit down and de-compress as soon as we got home. Now that she is older I can hand her a snack and turn on Team Umizoomi but when we both went back to work there was no such thing as "decompression time". Even now it's get if you can but if not suck it up buttercup. We don't always have the luxury of decompressing for 10-15 minutes after we walk in the door. We take it when we can get it. Sometimes I don't get to decompress till 9:00 at night and that isn't because I am "OCD". Things just need to get done and when you both work and have a kid downtime gets pushed down the list. I suppose I could put Gwen on a leash so we could ignore her for awhile to decompress but I am pretty sure that's child abuse.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jul 2, 2012 15:31:15 GMT -5
That's what play pens are for. My decompress used to be shower time and I did it regardless if I needed downtime. No child is going to starve or die in the ten or fifteen minutes I needed to get my head on straight. It's much easier and better for me to be able to calmly approach the next part of my days activities if I've had some time for myself. But I'm the kind of person who hates putting away groceries the second I get home!
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jul 2, 2012 15:32:12 GMT -5
But I don't shower and ignore them for hours while I watch tv or play video games. A man like that would be out the door the second he tried that crap.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 2, 2012 15:33:15 GMT -5
I don't think there's anything wrong with either spouse taking a few minutes to him or herself before jumping into "home time." It really depends. When Gwen wa sa newborn there really wasn't time for either of us to sit down and de-compress as soon as we got home. Now that she is older I can hand her a snack and turn on Team Umizoomi but when we both went back to work there was no such thing as "decompression time". Even now it's get if you can but if not suck it up buttercup. We don't always have the luxury of decompressing for 10-15 minutes after we walk in the door. We take it when we can get it. Sometimes I don't get to decompress till 9:00 at night and that isn't because I am "OCD". Things just need to get done and when you both work and have a kid downtime gets pushed down the list. I suppose I could put Gwen on a leash so we could ignore her for awhile to decompress but I am pretty sure that's child abuse. we decompress after DS goes to bed (between 8-9pm). Zib, they don't make play pens anymore - it's like baby jail.
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Jul 2, 2012 15:33:45 GMT -5
That was kind of my thought, but I don't have kids, so what do I know
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jul 2, 2012 15:34:49 GMT -5
I called them baby jail. It's exactly what they are. Keeps them out of trouble just like jail does!
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jul 2, 2012 15:36:17 GMT -5
Then if you really can't buy or find a playpen, there's other things that basically lock up a child for awhile. I think it's a good thing to start early, that you are important, too. The whole world does not revolve around your child and that includes your world.
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Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Jul 2, 2012 15:37:53 GMT -5
That's funny because I just asked someone the other night how you were supposed to pee with an active 8 month old in the house. I was babysitting for a friend in an emergency (believe me - she exhausted all other possibilities). If I turned my head for one second, he was playing in the dog's water. How the heck do you potty without them being down the street by the time you are done? Duct tape them to the wall?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 2, 2012 15:39:39 GMT -5
That's funny because I just asked someone the other night how you were supposed to pee with an active 8 month old in the house. I was babysitting for a friend in an emergency (believe me - she exhausted all other possibilities). If I turned my head for one second, he was playing in the dog's water. How the heck do you potty without them being down the street by the time you are done? Duct tape them to the wall? As a guy that have a lot and I mean a lot of cousins and have done my share of baby sitting, including my brother and sister... the answer is simple: you bring them to the bathroom with you. Every parent have done it I am certain; I am not a parent and I've done it
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jul 2, 2012 15:39:54 GMT -5
She's old enough now that we can "ignore" her while she plays for short periods of time. The only time we get worried is if she is really quiet. Last time that happened she was stuck behind the couch.
It isn't an every day thing but sometimes stuff just has to get done. DH sometimes comes straight home and mows the lawn and doesn't stop moving till bedtime. I sometimes do the same thing on weekends.
We take downtime where we can get it. We work really hard to keep the "honey do" list as short as possible but we also recognize that sometimes we have to suck it up and accept that on some occassiosn our downtime is going to be when our heads hit the pillow.
If I had a husband who insisted he wasn't moving until he was damn good and ready and he'd let me know when that would be he'd be moving as he dodged whatever I happened to throw at him.
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Jul 2, 2012 15:40:03 GMT -5
That's funny because I just asked someone the other night how you were supposed to pee with an active 8 month old in the house. I was babysitting for a friend in an emergency (believe me - she exhausted all other possibilities). If I turned my head for one second, he was playing in the dog's water. How the heck do you potty without them being down the street by the time you are done? Duct tape them to the wall? Take them with you or put them in the crib.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jul 2, 2012 15:40:54 GMT -5
That's funny because I just asked someone the other night how you were supposed to pee with an active 8 month old in the house.You let them play with the toilet paper while you pee. I haven't peed unsupervised in a long time.
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Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Jul 2, 2012 15:41:31 GMT -5
I had to take him with me. I have no crib because I have no kids. It was either take him with me or put him in the dog's kennel.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 2, 2012 15:42:49 GMT -5
I had to take him with me. I have no crib because I have no kids. It was either take him with me or put him in the dog's kennel. You see, you've figured it out all on your own without a manual
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Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Jul 2, 2012 15:44:11 GMT -5
LOL! I don't know about that but I did figure out I couldn't do this full time. And I figured out I highly admire those who can.
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Jul 2, 2012 15:45:43 GMT -5
I had to take him with me. I have no crib because I have no kids. It was either take him with me or put him in the dog's kennel. Do they make kennels big enough for 15 year olds??
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Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Jul 2, 2012 15:47:59 GMT -5
I had to take him with me. I have no crib because I have no kids. It was either take him with me or put him in the dog's kennel. Do they make kennels big enough for 15 year olds?? lol...My kennel holds a 110 pound dog. How much do 15 years olds weigh?
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Jul 2, 2012 15:50:59 GMT -5
My 15 year old is around 170, I think. He's tall too, guess I'll just have to settle for not giving him a car to get away from me with.
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Jaguar
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Post by Jaguar on Jul 2, 2012 15:51:49 GMT -5
I had to take him with me. I have no crib because I have no kids. It was either take him with me or put him in the dog's kennel.Oh Shit GEL I'm laughing so hard ~
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Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Jul 2, 2012 15:55:13 GMT -5
I was laughing too, Sugi. But I was thinking about the other night when I was reading about this firestarting time. When that little baby needs his diaper changed or he is hungry, or he is on his way to eat dog food, I just can't see saying, "Not right now. I'm firestarting." I guess that's what got me to thinking about the whole situation.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jul 2, 2012 15:57:45 GMT -5
Eh, a little dog food never hurt someone. Now when they are trying to share their tasty treat with you, that's a different story.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jul 2, 2012 15:59:24 GMT -5
There are times when you hav to take immediate action but after you feed and change diaper, it may be your time if you need it.
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Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Jul 2, 2012 16:00:59 GMT -5
I know I needed time after he went home.....to fall to my knees and thank GOD I didn't have to do that full time! I was exhausted. I have a whole new respect for parents. I can't imagine it gets any easier as they get older.
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ontrack
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Post by ontrack on Jul 2, 2012 16:05:09 GMT -5
I was laughing too, Sugi. But I was thinking about the other night when I was reading about this firestarting time. When that little baby needs his diaper changed or he is hungry, or he is on his way to eat dog food, I just can't see saying, "Not right now. I'm firestarting." I guess that's what got me to thinking about the whole situation. I think they would be entranced if you were starting a fire ;D. Btw, I read it as "firestarting" every time too.
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Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Jul 2, 2012 16:08:03 GMT -5
Isn't that right? What is it?
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jul 2, 2012 16:09:13 GMT -5
I don't think there's anything wrong with either spouse taking a few minutes to him or herself before jumping into "home time." It really depends. When Gwen wa sa newborn there really wasn't time for either of us to sit down and de-compress as soon as we got home. Now that she is older I can hand her a snack and turn on Team Umizoomi but when we both went back to work there was no such thing as "decompression time". Even now it's get if you can but if not suck it up buttercup. We don't always have the luxury of decompressing for 10-15 minutes after we walk in the door. We take it when we can get it. Sometimes I don't get to decompress till 9:00 at night and that isn't because I am "OCD". Things just need to get done and when you both work and have a kid downtime gets pushed down the list. I suppose I could put Gwen on a leash so we could ignore her for awhile to decompress but I am pretty sure that's child abuse. we decompress after DS goes to bed (between 8-9pm). Zib, they don't make play pens anymore - it's like baby jail. They don't make play pens anymore??? seriously??? I didn't use mine often (and I'm laughing because I also called it baby jail!) but in a pinch it was really handy.
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