Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Jun 29, 2012 13:53:59 GMT -5
If I saw a pregnant woman in the club downing shots of tequila I'd say something though.
I probably would too. But unless I'm misunderstanding you, if we were out at dinner together and you saw me order a glass of wine you'd say something to me too - right?
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Jun 29, 2012 13:54:25 GMT -5
Oh Muttley, don't you know it's better for the fetus for you to be dehydrated? You've seen those caffeine babies come shooting out of the womb with the 5 Hour Energy bottles in their hands, haven't you? They'll never recover!
(Seriously, all the best - a good friend of mine is pregnant with her 3rd and has severe HG, she has to go in for an IV once a week. I just can't imagine.)
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jun 29, 2012 13:55:19 GMT -5
If I saw a pregnant woman in the club downing shots of tequila I'd say something though.I probably would too. But unless I'm misunderstanding you, if we were out at dinner together and you saw me order a glass of wine you'd say something to me too - right? I don't know...but I would sit there and judge you. That's me being honest. It truly disgusts me to see pregnant women drink alcohol. I can't say for sure if I would approach you...
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Jun 29, 2012 13:55:28 GMT -5
if we were out at dinner together and you saw me order a glass of wine you'd say something to me too - right? As long as it wasn't a huge glass and you stuck to just one, I'd probably leave it at a disappointed look.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Jun 29, 2012 13:56:35 GMT -5
Would you say something like "Isn't that what got you into your situation to begin with?"
For good measure, I'd call her a $5 whore and make sure she knows that her baby will be even more retarded than she is.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jun 29, 2012 13:57:01 GMT -5
You've seen those caffeine babies come shooting out of the womb with the 5 Hour Energy bottles in their hands, haven't you
So THAT's how toddlers get so much energy! I wonder where she hides her stash? Momma needs some energy.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Jun 29, 2012 13:58:21 GMT -5
No one....but you are coming down on the women saying they've indulged in a glass of wine here and there. NO ONE on this thread said they were binge drinking all the way up until they were 10 cm dilated.
Exactly. I'm being flip about it, but actually my feelings are a bit hurt at the implication that I must not care about my baby because I've chosen not to completely abstain from alcohol. I mean, okay, you guys are strangers on a message board but from everything you know about me - you actually think I'm going to be a bad mother because of that?
I disagree with taking any risks with an unborn child.
How do you define ANY risks? I mean, you really could take this to crazy extremes. Should you not try to get pregnant at all if you've had five miscarriages and are considered high risk?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 29, 2012 13:59:28 GMT -5
No one....but you are coming down on the women saying they've indulged in a glass of wine here and there. NO ONE on this thread said they were binge drinking all the way up until they were 10 cm dilated. And for the record, I gave up alcohol and smoking when I was pregnant. I drew the line at caffeine. But I reduced that to 2 cups a day. "I" made the decision to give up those things. I also believe that it is up to the individual to decide how to handle their pregnancies.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Jun 29, 2012 13:59:54 GMT -5
But there the "high risk" is in losing the pregnancy, not giving birth to a child with some kind of disability or illness.
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Jun 29, 2012 14:00:19 GMT -5
Should you not try to get pregnant at all if you've had five miscarriages and are considered high risk? Probably. Sometimes nature just doesn't want you having babies. That doesn't mean you can't be a parent, but there's probably a line somewhere that you should sit down and really look at whether the risks of trying to have a kid naturally are worth it.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Jun 29, 2012 14:00:40 GMT -5
I don't know...but I would sit there and judge you. That's me being honest. It truly disgusts me to see pregnant women drink alcohol.
I can't say for sure if I would approach you...
I was specifically addressing Dark and that was a real question, because he's a friend. I didn't realize he'd be judging me for having a sip of DH's beer next month at his party.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jun 29, 2012 14:00:48 GMT -5
No one....but you are coming down on the women saying they've indulged in a glass of wine here and there. NO ONE on this thread said they were binge drinking all the way up until they were 10 cm dilated.Exactly. I'm being flip about it, but actually my feelings are a bit hurt at the implication that I must not care about my baby because I've chosen not to completely abstain from alcohol. I mean, okay, you guys are strangers on a message board but from everything you know about me - you actually think I'm going to be a bad mother because of that?I disagree with taking any risks with an unborn child.How do you define ANY risks? I mean, you really could take this to crazy extremes. Should you not try to get pregnant at all if you've had five miscarriages and are considered high risk? FB, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings...you and I obviously completely disagree on teh matter...I felt like those of you that are pro drinking while pregnant were getting a little heavy with the posts so I fired back...while I will never agree with your choice, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. We will have to agree to disagree
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jun 29, 2012 14:01:25 GMT -5
I don't know...but I would sit there and judge you. That's me being honest. It truly disgusts me to see pregnant women drink alcohol.
I can't say for sure if I would approach you... I was specifically addressing Dark and that was a real question, because he's a friend. I didn't realize he'd be judging me for having a sip of DH's beer next month at his party. Well...at least Dark would give you a sip!lol
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Jun 29, 2012 14:01:36 GMT -5
But there the "high risk" is in losing the pregnancy, not giving birth to a child with some kind of disability or illness.
"Losing the pregnancy" is a euphemism for "your baby dies." My point is that some women have increased risk of having a baby that will then die; is it ethical for them to try to have a baby knowing their baby has a higher chance of dying?
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Jun 29, 2012 14:02:30 GMT -5
I mean, okay, you guys are strangers on a message board but from everything you know about me - you actually think I'm going to be a bad mother because of that? Don't be silly. You're going to be a bad mother because you won't carry around a fanny pack with a wooden spoon in it to keep the kids in line, and raise them to believe that if they're ever abused it's their own fault for putting themselves in that situation to begin with. The drinking thing is the least of your problems.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jun 29, 2012 14:02:31 GMT -5
No one....but you are coming down on the women saying they've indulged in a glass of wine here and there. NO ONE on this thread said they were binge drinking all the way up until they were 10 cm dilated. And for the record, I gave up alcohol and smoking when I was pregnant. I drew the line at caffeine. But I reduced that to 2 cups a day. "I" made the decision to give up those things. I also believe that it is up to the individual to decide how to handle their pregnancies. LOL...well of course it is up to the individual to decide...but that doesn't mean I can't sit back and silently judge
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jun 29, 2012 14:04:37 GMT -5
Should you not try to get pregnant at all if you've had five miscarriages and are considered high risk? Probably. Sometimes nature just doesn't want you having babies. That doesn't mean you can't be a parent, but there's probably a line somewhere that you should sit down and really look at whether the risks of trying to have a kid naturally are worth it. That's a tough one...I knew someone that had repeated miscarriages and the doctors couldn't fidn out why....she had at least 4 of them. it was later discovered that she had low progesterine (sp???) so with her next pregnancy she was given supplements and she now has to very healthy babies. My mom had three miscarriages and two stillborns...I'm really glad she didn't stop trying
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Jun 29, 2012 14:04:51 GMT -5
FB, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings...you and I obviously completely disagree on teh matter...I felt like those of you that are pro drinking while pregnant were getting a little heavy with the posts so I fired back...while I will never agree with your choice, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.Miss T, I don't care if you disagree with my choice That's totally up to you. But you have to understand, this is my first experience with being judged as not caring about my kid because of something I'm doing. It's new to me. I disagree with people's parenting choices all the time, but I don't necessarily judge them as bad parents for doing them. So as I said, this one's new to me.
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Jun 29, 2012 14:05:06 GMT -5
I'm being flip about it, but actually my feelings are a bit hurt at the implication that I must not care about my baby because I've chosen not to completely abstain from alcohol. I honestly don't know how I feel about it. If you had said you occasionally have a sip of an alcoholic beverage that your husband is drinking, that wouldn't bother me at all. A whole drink of your own kind of sounds like a lot to me. I realize that one drink here and there with a meal isn't really that much alcohol, but it probably would weird me out a bit to see a visibly pregnant woman sit around drinking a beer or a glass of wine.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jun 29, 2012 14:07:39 GMT -5
FB, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings...you and I obviously completely disagree on teh matter...I felt like those of you that are pro drinking while pregnant were getting a little heavy with the posts so I fired back...while I will never agree with your choice, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.Miss T, I don't care if you disagree with my choice That's totally up to you. But you have to understand, this is my first experience with being judged as not caring about my kid because of something I'm doing. It's new to me. I disagree with people's parenting choices all the time, but I don't necessarily judge them as bad parents for doing them. So as I said, this one's new to me. FB, all I can say is I feel very strongly about not drinking alcohol during pregnancy. Studies change and are flawed....anything else I say you will take personally so I am just going to stop. I like you and I didn't mean to hurt your feeling...
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Jun 29, 2012 14:10:36 GMT -5
Considering the fact that FB is not the only person on this thread who has admitted to drinking while pregnant (with their doctor's OK), I don't blame her or anyone else for taking these comments personally. I'm miffed by the judgmental tone of some of these posts and I've never even been pregnant, so I don't really have a dog in this fight.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Jun 29, 2012 14:10:45 GMT -5
FB, all I can say is I feel very strongly about not drinking alcohol during pregnancy. Studies change and are flawed....anything else I say you will take personally so I am just going to stop. I like you and I didn't mean to hurt your feeling... I swear to you, I am not taking the statement "I don't believe it's okay to drink alcohol while pregnant" personally. That's your opinion, and it's completely fine. I'm just a little bemused at the idea that I must not care much about Babybird because I did drink. I could understand if I told you guys I was doing shots every weekend... but... I've only had one drink a month and I don't think that means I don't care about my kid. Don't worry, we're good in my book
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moon/Laura
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Post by moon/Laura on Jun 29, 2012 14:10:46 GMT -5
OK... just skimming this last page, I'm seeing a lot of stuff I don't like. The judging is bad enough, but this comment here.. wow.
Very uncalled for, even if it's not specific to anyone here. Let's calm it down, or this thread *will* disappear.
~moon/ mod
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yummy2tummy
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Post by yummy2tummy on Jun 29, 2012 14:12:27 GMT -5
Not sure if they should be prohibited from purchasing it, however one would think that a expecting woman would have more common sense.
I do believe that an establishment can refuse to serve anyone for any reason.. so.. its up to the Owner.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Jun 29, 2012 14:13:01 GMT -5
Very uncalled for, even if it's not specific to anyone here. Let's calm it down, or this thread *will* disappear.
Thanks for the warning, moonbeam. Noted and appreciated.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 29, 2012 14:14:13 GMT -5
There has never been any research ever that has shown one drink while pregnant will cause a problem EVER. This is not about shifting research, this about getting better defined research as to what is harmful and what isn't. Both studies I posted were studies done after the fact. The women self reported how much they drank and the children were studied as to any effects. And there is not one study out there that can say for absolute certainly that any amount of alcohol is safe during pregnancy. There is no study that says that ANYTHING absolutely.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 29, 2012 14:15:18 GMT -5
I agree with Miss Tequila. As the mother of a preemie, I have thought if anything I may have done caused my very premature labor. My doctor said it was okay to drink coke/coffee/tea in moderation, which i did drink some coke and some tea, never ever alcohol, even right now I don't drink alcohol because of breastfeeding. If I could do it all over again I would not even drink the little coke/tea I drank, be a lot less physical, limit my stress... I would rather refrain from doing something that has the possibility of even the slightest harm (assuming it is something doable like stopping alcohol/coke/tea/etc).
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Jun 29, 2012 14:15:25 GMT -5
If we are going to go down that road, then you have to ask the question if a 0% chance at being born is better than a 50% chance at being born. Because basically you are saying that a soul having been a fetus that doesn't ever get to live as baby is worse than being a soul who never even gets to be a fetus.
Personally, I'm more of the school that life begins at birth - or at least some viable point in the pregnancy when the baby could survive outside the womb. So, I only see the suffering of the mother / father at the loss of the pregnancy. I don't see that as some tragedy for the soul inside the womb. But, I know that is just my theory on things, and many people believe differently. And I respect that. But, if you do believe that the soul is alive and waiting for conception, wouldn't you believe that no conception at all is even worse. Sort of the "Better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all." Theory. (Or better to have tried and failed, or whatever.)
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happyhoix
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Post by happyhoix on Jun 29, 2012 14:15:26 GMT -5
OK, then you need to come take my Mt. Dew out of my hand and keep me from going to Subway, etc, etc. Except you aren't in my body right now. YOu don't know that I've thrown up everything I've ingested this pregnancy at least once. At this point I'm on fucking survival mode and drinking waterdown Mt. Dew stays down better than anything else. SO, give me that disgusted look, but if you take away my Mt. Dew, I may end up throwing up on you. I would love to do everything fucking perfect. I would love to fucking out there exercising every morning like i was prepregnancy, but I am too fucking sick and too fucking tired and too dizzy to much but argue with assholes from my fucking computer. It is so much fucking fun throwing up during my work day to the point i pee my fucking pants. So, you want to be the fucking morality police on me, go fucking ahead. Like I said, I'll just throw up on you. Yep I hear ya. I had plans to eat perfectly balanced meals, to give up caffeine, chocolate, and all fast food. Then I got pregnant and ralphed my way through the first trimester. The only thing I could eat was saltines and diet coke. I actually lost weight those first three months, and had the memorable experience of puking into my purse during rush hour traffic. But, despite the saltines and diet coke DS is now 23 and an industrial engineer. I can't remember the last time he got sick, he's muscular but slender, and he's 6'3" so apparently my less than stellar diet didn't hurt him. There's a reason he's an only child though. I really liked that purse.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Jun 29, 2012 14:17:01 GMT -5
Sorry about my comment. It was more about the judge, not the person being judged. If you "say something" - no matter how nice you think you are being, you sound like an overbearing buttinsky.
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