Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 26, 2012 10:23:51 GMT -5
no
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jun 26, 2012 10:25:54 GMT -5
My kids were invited to my niece's wedding...they were served the same food we were served so I doubled the monetary gift...then I added more because she is my husband's God child
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 26, 2012 10:27:27 GMT -5
I'd ask how many other kids were going to be there and what type of reception it will be. If it's something the kids wouldn't enjoy I'd spend the $100 on a babysitter.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 26, 2012 10:28:18 GMT -5
How old are the kids? Maybe give 1 1/2?
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jun 26, 2012 10:31:28 GMT -5
I had about 30 kids at my wedding. I didn't expect any more in gifts from the people bringing them. Give what you want.
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taz157
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Post by taz157 on Jun 26, 2012 11:01:35 GMT -5
I had about 30 kids at my wedding. I didn't expect any more in gifts from the people bringing them. Give what you want. We didn't have 30 kids at our wedding, but I wasn't keeping track of how many people vs dollar amount given. Same gave more while some gave less. For DH and I, it didn't matter. We were happy that they wanted to come to our wedding and reception. Give what you want. Also, have a great time!
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jun 26, 2012 11:03:45 GMT -5
I had 6 flower girls so having kids at the reception wasn't an issue.... But the kids had a blast. The DJs were awesome with the kids.
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shanendoah
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Post by shanendoah on Jun 26, 2012 11:05:10 GMT -5
The wedding gift is that- a gift. You aren't paying for the reception. It's not a per head price. If you were invited to the wedding/reception but were unable to attend, would you give less? They invited the people they were comfortable inviting (and feeding). Give what you are comfortable giving.
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saveinla
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Post by saveinla on Jun 26, 2012 11:05:17 GMT -5
wrongside - That's what we do. We usually spend 75 - 100$ each, so if my son is also invited, I add another 75 or 100 depending on the venue.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 26, 2012 11:09:41 GMT -5
The wedding gift is that- a gift. You aren't paying for the reception. It's not a per head price. If you were invited to the wedding/reception but were unable to attend, would you give less? They invited the people they were comfortable inviting (and feeding). Give what you are comfortable giving. IMO you shouldn't be counting on people to "pay" for their plates - that's tacky. You should have the wedding you can afford if you get no money/gifts from your guests.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 26, 2012 11:11:42 GMT -5
For the first time ever, my 2 kiddo's have been invited to a wedding reception. Normally, dh and I gift $100. Should we gift $200 now that there will be 4 of us? no, you should give whatever you would normally give as a gift regardless of how many people do or don't go. covering your plate is not how you give a gift.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 26, 2012 11:12:25 GMT -5
For the first time ever, my 2 kiddo's have been invited to a wedding reception. Normally, dh and I gift $100. Should we gift $200 now that there will be 4 of us? covering your plate is not how you give a gift. It is how a lot of people ballpark how much they are giving as a gift, though.
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aliciar6
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Post by aliciar6 on Jun 26, 2012 11:45:41 GMT -5
i know some ettiquite states guage your gift on what the "plate value would be" but i think that is stupid, you give what you are comfortable giving, if you want to add more then add more.
we got lucky with a venue that doesn't charge for kids under age 13...but i think up to like 10 of them...so that works for us. some of our friends and family are kind of struggling, and we have asked instead from one friend who does great with photography and wants to start her own buisness if she will do an engagement photoshoot for us next time they come out to visit (we all like hiking so we were going to combine a fun day hiking with a photoshoot) and his sister was going to watch the dog for us so we wouldn't have to kennel her, she is in my wedding, and i really don't want her and her husband to have to spend the money to be in the wedding and give us a gift. They also voluntered to watch Koda because they like having her around and don't want to see her crated, we said that would make a great wedding gift.
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greenstone
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Post by greenstone on Jun 26, 2012 12:05:53 GMT -5
The wedding gift is that- a gift. You aren't paying for the reception. It's not a per head price. If you were invited to the wedding/reception but were unable to attend, would you give less? They invited the people they were comfortable inviting (and feeding). Give what you are comfortable giving. I don't have strong feelings on this but I was researching this topic prior to a wedding once. The general consensus was you should have the gift reflect the number of guest it is from. This is not the same as paying to cover your plate, give what is comfortable to you, the cost of the wedding is irrelevent. If you normally give (and can afford to) $50 but go in with 3 friends and give $50 total, it would be kinda cheap and tacky IMO. Same with family, each family member is an invited guest who accepted the invitation so they should each be represented in the value of the gift. (Of course no one is required to give a gift but I am assuming you want to fulfill the social obligation). The amount of contribution for each family need not be equal, if the spouse or date doesn't know the bride and groom, they could give $75 instead of $100 (assuming $50 each is their norm). Same with kids, the extra included if they attended would not need to equal the adults contribution. How well each person knows the wedding couple and other expenses involved in attending the wedding (eg travel) should be considered. Again I got this off the interwebz ettiquette sites, but I tend to agree with it. If you, at any age, accept an invitation or one is accepted for you, then YOU should give/contribute to a gift if it is expected. And the usual disclaimer: it is not required. If you can't afford a gift, go drink, eat and be merry, and don't worry about it.
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lynnerself
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Post by lynnerself on Jun 26, 2012 12:50:01 GMT -5
Personally, we give the gift or money according to what we feel we would like to give, based on how close we are to the couple and what they might need. It is from the whole family. The amount doesn't change depending on how many of us are attending. Nor on whether we are getting homemade barbecue, a full sit down dinner or just cake. I have always felt that the couple plans the wedding that they want and can afford. The guests give the gift that they want and can afford. The two are not necessarily related.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 26, 2012 12:57:21 GMT -5
It is not as if 3 adults are kicking in on one gift. It is a gift from your family. Give what you are comfortable giving. Presumably, the fact that your kids are invited means that you are particularly close to this couple. Your gift might increase because of that. But you don't have to scale up because you are getting 2 extra chicken breasts.
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skubikky
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Post by skubikky on Jun 26, 2012 13:01:42 GMT -5
I had about 30 kids at my wedding. I didn't expect any more in gifts from the people bringing them. Give what you want. That....why does the amount you would have given without your kids attending need to change? What if one of you couldn't go and you went without your DH? Would you have discounted the gift accordingly? The notion that the gift needs to cover the cost of food/attendance is absurd. Hopefully the bride and groom invited you and your family to be a part of the celebration, not a source of income. This idea can really get carried too far. I recall someone telling me that she declined an invitation to a very posh wedding as she was unemployed and couldn't afford to give a "nice" enough gift to cover her and DH's attendance.
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Post by notasbadasithought on Jun 27, 2012 16:56:17 GMT -5
Geez, it's a wedding!! Not some huge event like a concert or something...Give what you can comfortably afford. My age is showing, cause I do not understand some of the wedding planning/attending/responsiblilities that are around now a days.
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Formerly SK
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Post by Formerly SK on Jun 27, 2012 17:03:21 GMT -5
We just attended a wedding with the kids. It didn't even occur to me to give more than our usual amount.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jun 27, 2012 18:01:49 GMT -5
Are your kids going to eat the same food as the adults? My kids have been in weddings and I always, after pictures, have a babysitter come and get them and take them to McDonalds or someplace they would enjoy. Chicken cordon blew sucks enough as an adult to eat, my kids would have ralphed big time having to eat that stuff. I don't cover my meal but I would add extra for having extra people there. Some of these weddings are just too expensive per plate to cover.
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simser
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Post by simser on Jun 27, 2012 18:33:46 GMT -5
When I got married we invited kids. To not have done so would have gone against my upbringing. I wouldn't change the amount based on kids.
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Colleenz
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Post by Colleenz on Jun 27, 2012 18:52:47 GMT -5
I usually figure $50 per plate plus gift HTH.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 27, 2012 19:53:51 GMT -5
The gift i decide to give is what i decide to give whether only myself or my spouse and kids are included .
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Mardi Gras Audrey
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Post by Mardi Gras Audrey on Jun 27, 2012 20:55:42 GMT -5
I recently got married and had the reception at a fairly pricey place (It was over $100 per adult and kids under 11 were half price). I looked at it as I was glad people could bring their kids and hoped that their kids would have a good time. I would feel bad if people thought they needed to change their gift because they brought their kids. When I invited the families, I knew that they had kids and invited the kids because I wanted them there. As other people noted, gifts are optional and should be what you feel comfortable with giving. The bride and groom will probably be happy seeing how much fun your kids have (Kids find joy in so much and it is always nice to see them get excited, us adults seem to take the fun out of life )
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973beachbum
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Post by 973beachbum on Jun 28, 2012 6:12:41 GMT -5
We went to a wedding recently. The groom was my kids first cousin. They are actually the only first cousins he has. DH is his only aunt or uncle also. I am sure it meant a lot to him to have them there. They fed me too though. We gave a family gift. Our gift was about twice what we would normally give. My reason was because of who he was, and not how many of us came. The reception served pigs in a blanket during coctail hour. My nine year old son thought it was fantastic and pretty much stuffed himself.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 28, 2012 6:23:09 GMT -5
I really have no idea how much to give for a wedding. I guess it depends on the level of relationship. I am going to a wedding in July and i really wanted to buy the couple a Kitchenaid Mixer since i am having so much fun with mine. I splurged and bought them an onyx black Artisan KA. I think they will really enjoy it and hopefully will be a gift they remember. That was about $300 though.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jun 28, 2012 7:51:21 GMT -5
I sure would remember a 300 dollar gift! Remind me to invite you!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 28, 2012 7:53:28 GMT -5
LOL! It does seem a bit generous. She is a nice young lady whom we are friends with. She is in her 20's and just starting life. I seem to go about blowing money with no qualms!
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jun 28, 2012 7:54:44 GMT -5
Me, too, on other people. Sigh.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 28, 2012 7:55:41 GMT -5
I even hand out money to homeless people. I know that is against YM rules here! lol
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