Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Jun 25, 2012 18:22:59 GMT -5
I'm into Story Time threads lately, I realize Spill!
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Abby Normal
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Post by Abby Normal on Jun 25, 2012 18:29:06 GMT -5
DS (age 4 at the time) tugs on the pant leg of a lady in front of us at Mcdonalds and says "You have very large pants". She was quite over weight. What made it worse was that she tried to ignore him, so he did it again and said it VERY LOUD.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 25, 2012 18:30:53 GMT -5
We were in a restaurant one time to eat. And, my then 4 year old daughter yelled out in a loud voice " Is this the place with the stinky bathroom!".
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milee
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Post by milee on Jun 25, 2012 18:33:01 GMT -5
We joke often about really inappropriate things at our house, because it's all boys and me. Guess the littlest guy doesn't always realize when we're joking.
A couple of weeks ago at the Asian store, we were in line with 10 other people - really packed in there because it's a tiny store. When we get to the register, the nice Asian lady greets us and nicely comments on how much green tea we have. My 7 year old pipes up and says really loudly, "Mommy loves green tea, but she drinks so much of it that it makes her fart all the time!"
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milee
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Post by milee on Jun 25, 2012 18:36:39 GMT -5
We also tend to use correct terms for anatomy. Bland, factual but correct. This has sometimes been a problem.
I was pregnant with DS #2 and in the process of dropping DS #1 off at our church preschool. I was on the church council and very active, so knew all of the 100+ people and their kids on the playground where we dropped off the kids. As I crossed the playground to leave, DS #1, cheerfully waves and yells across the entire playground, "Bye Mom! Be sure to come and pick me up if the baby starts coming out of your vagina!!!"
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Jun 25, 2012 18:55:53 GMT -5
"Bye Mom! Be sure to come and pick me up if the baby starts coming out of your vagina!!!" Love it!!! I bet you did, too.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jun 25, 2012 19:01:31 GMT -5
We took 4 yo DD to the eye doctor. The doctor is transgendered and has recently undergone gender reassignment surgery from male to female. The doctor still has a male voice. The doc came in the room, started talking to DD. DD asked me why the girl doctor sounded like a boy. Even though I told her very matter of faulty that people are people and everyone is different and some girls sound like boys, she kept asking very loudly and repeatedly during the appointment why the girl sounded like a boy.
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deantrip
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Post by deantrip on Jun 25, 2012 19:10:41 GMT -5
lol, these are great, I don't have any of my own stories as I don't have kids yet!
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Jun 25, 2012 19:15:36 GMT -5
When my youngest was doing her assessment for kindergarten. At a Catholic School no less.
Teacher: You know a lot of this stuff! You've been working hard.
DD: Yeah. I have.
Teacher: Who teaches you?
DD points to me
Teacher: Oh, your mom does?
DD: Yeah. But sometimes she just sits on the couch and drinks beer.
The lady was trying really hard not to laugh. I was so embarrassed.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 25, 2012 19:23:13 GMT -5
These are great! Mine definitely pales in comparison! We used to have a guest room. When DS3 came along, he got the guest room. Eventually we switched the kids/rooms around and DS3 had his own room, but with a high riser for adult guests. So when guests came, DS3 would sleep in his sister's room. DS3 was under 3 when he went up to DH's elderly aunt and uncle (DH's parents were already gone, so his aunt and uncle were DH's only "elders") and asked, When do you go home, so I can have my room back? OMG!!! Later that school year, DS1 finished HS. He asked us to do up the basement room for him. Which we did, very happily! So the three younger kids all "bumped up" a room upstairs, and we finally got a (teeny tiny) guest room back. DS3 (now 14) is the nicest, kindest, most generous kid you could ever hope to meet. And DH's aunt and uncle are like grandparents to him, his real grandparents have all been gone for years. But every once in a while, we just can't resist teasing him about that comment LOL.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Jun 25, 2012 19:27:42 GMT -5
Or, when my youngest (I will never understand why I taught the child to talk) was telling my grandpa about some guy hitting my car while both girls were with me..
DD:.... And mom was honking and honking and then she said "OH SHlT!"
Grandpa thought it was hilarious and I was so embarrassed. I think she was maybe 3 at the time.
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GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl
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Post by GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl on Jun 25, 2012 19:36:24 GMT -5
I have a couple of stories but since mine are teenagers I think the best/worst is yet to come.
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milee
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Post by milee on Jun 25, 2012 20:11:29 GMT -5
DS3 was under 3 when he went up to DH's elderly aunt and uncle (DH's parents were already gone, so his aunt and uncle were DH's only "elders") and asked, When do you go home, so I can have my room back? My grandparents had a big yard in the country and one of their friends was the head of the local Doberman rescue group, so convinced them to take in a Doberman. As little kids we loved that dog and had no idea why anyone would be afraid of a 110 pound, barking Doberman. After all, her name was Princess and she was always sweet and gentle with us... Anyway, one day we were sitting on the porch petting this dog and my little sister sweetly asks, "grandma, when you die, can I have Princess?"
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jun 25, 2012 20:15:59 GMT -5
Last year, DS was a kindergarten student at the Catholic school. The bathroom is right across from the principals office. DS and a friend were in the bathroom goofing around. The principal heard them, so she left her office to tell the boys to go back to their class. DS told her to go away. The principal told him that was not very respectful and he could not speak to her that way. He told her to go back to her office, please.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 25, 2012 20:20:36 GMT -5
Anyway, one day we were sitting on the porch petting this dog and my little sister sweetly asks, "grandma, when you die, can I have Princess?"
LOL Milee!!! My DD said to me at about age 5, Mommy, when you die, can I have your pearls? But not the short pearls, the LONG pearls. (So much for being LD and math-challenged, she clearly wanted the double-strand LOL.)
Swamp, love that PLEASE LOL!
I LOVE things like this! I got an email last week from a student who failed an exam she needs to pass into third year, asking me flat out to lie for her and tell the jury that she is totally capable of passing it (which begs the question about why she didn't ...)
And then a very very polite apology at the end for asking me to lie for her! LOL!
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jun 25, 2012 20:43:58 GMT -5
In an elevator with another lady who also had a kid in the stroller. Right before the door closes a homeless guy comes in. DD says very loudly, "P U, Mom, that man smells BAD!"
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InsertCoolName
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Post by InsertCoolName on Jun 25, 2012 22:03:48 GMT -5
Oldest DS was 3. He just realized that boys and girls were different so he HAD to go to the boys bathroom. Walmart bathrooms were right next to the snack bar thingy(we weren't classy enough to get McD's in ours) and he is in there doing #2. Singing as loud as he can about pooping in the potty. And then....MOMMY!!!!! COME WIPE MY BUTT!!! Snack bar has like 5 people sitting at the tables drinking/eating. He's going on 16 now. I can NOT wait til I can get him back for that one.
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milee
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Post by milee on Jun 25, 2012 22:09:26 GMT -5
Oldest DS was 3. He just realized that boys and girls were different so he HAD to go to the boys bathroom. Walmart bathrooms were right next to the snack bar thingy(we weren't classy enough to get McD's in ours) and he is in there doing #2. Singing as loud as he can about pooping in the potty. And then....MOMMY!!!!! COME WIPE MY BUTT!!! Snack bar has like 5 people sitting at the tables drinking/eating. He's going on 16 now. I can NOT wait til I can get him back for that one. My oldest wouldn't do the deed in any potty other than our home potty, so we finally promised him a special fire truck he'd been coveting if he could get up the courage to use an unfamiliar john. No luck for a while. A few weeks later, we're eating dinner at a restaurant with another couple, DS goes into the bathroom and comes running back through the restaurant yelling, "Mommy! I went poopy in the potty!!!! I went poopy in the potty!!!!" He shrieked it out at least twice before I was able to tackle and stifle him. Sheesh, apparently my kids have a lot of embarrassing moments. Are your kids all really that good or have you mercifully blocked all this from your collective memory?
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chiver78
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Post by chiver78 on Jun 25, 2012 22:34:20 GMT -5
Oldest DS was 3. He just realized that boys and girls were different so he HAD to go to the boys bathroom. Walmart bathrooms were right next to the snack bar thingy(we weren't classy enough to get McD's in ours) and he is in there doing #2. Singing as loud as he can about pooping in the potty. And then....MOMMY!!!!! COME WIPE MY BUTT!!! Snack bar has like 5 people sitting at the tables drinking/eating. He's going on 16 now. I can NOT wait til I can get him back for that one. My oldest wouldn't do the deed in any potty other than our home potty, so we finally promised him a special fire truck he'd been coveting if he could get up the courage to use an unfamiliar john. No luck for a while. A few weeks later, we're eating dinner at a restaurant with another couple, DS goes into the bathroom and comes running back through the restaurant yelling, "Mommy! I went poopy in the potty!!!! I went poopy in the potty!!!!" Charming. Sheesh, apparently my kids have a lot of embarrassing moments. Are your kids all really that good or have you mercifully blocked all this from your collective memory? this whole thread has me and I don't even have kids. for milee - if you haven't already seen American Pie, please do. the bathroom scene with Finch (Eddie Kaye Thomas) is freaking hysterical! it's a kid that refuses to poop in a (high) school bathroom.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Jun 25, 2012 22:37:49 GMT -5
One day we went to a restaurant (and a lady told my oldest that she liked her skirt) my youngest said " she has a skort so no one sees her business."
Yeah. That's nice.
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milee
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Post by milee on Jun 25, 2012 22:41:30 GMT -5
"for milee - if you haven't already seen American Pie, please do. the bathroom scene with Finch (Eddie Kaye Thomas) is freaking hysterical! it's a kid that refuses to poop in a (high) school bathroom. " Love that movie. FWIW, I think DS has kinda reverted into refusal to go anywhere but home. He's 12 now, so it's not like he tells me everything, but for some reason this subject came up the other day and I asked him what he did when he had to go at school. He was horrified and exclaimed that there was no way he - or anyone else - should ever poop at school. He then explained that schools should have all toilets removed and only provide urinals. It's a little obscure, but if you've ever seen the movie Hot Fuzz, my son is Sargeant Angel.
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chiver78
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Post by chiver78 on Jun 25, 2012 22:48:53 GMT -5
haha, I have not seen that, but I'll keep it in mind if I come across Hot Fuzz. that said, I can totally relate to where he's coming from. I'm a ridiculous germophobe who despises public restrooms. I can totally understand a guy having that reaction, because unless he has to poop, he has zero reason to touch anything in a public restroom.
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Jaguar
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Post by Jaguar on Jun 25, 2012 23:11:36 GMT -5
This thread is freaking hilarious ~
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The Home 6
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Post by The Home 6 on Jun 26, 2012 6:27:12 GMT -5
My younger daughter mooned the nurse after getting shots on both of her legs. In all fairness, she wanted to take off the bandaids, so she tried to pull off her pants. Her undies just came off too! When my older daughter was about 2, she had a habit of always taking Daddy's wallet from his pocket. He kept his wallet on his calf pocket on his service uniform pants. Problem is, EVERYONE looks the same in uniform from the knees down to a 2 year old. At a doctor's appointment, she tried to pick the pocket of a random soldier.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jun 26, 2012 6:48:56 GMT -5
DD was okay with men with pony tails and ONE earring but TWO just got to her. So she asked our server, who had TWO earrings "Where his boobs were?"
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jun 26, 2012 6:50:05 GMT -5
She was, and still, is a BAD child. I must have gone over the whisper voice to her a million times. As in if you have a question or a comment about another person, you whisper it to mom. No dice.
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skubikky
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Post by skubikky on Jun 26, 2012 8:30:52 GMT -5
DS was three and we were in the pew at church. DH unbuttoned the top buttons on DS's shirt as it was very hot that day. We're listening to the choir and see one of the members beginning to laugh and get really red in the face. He points at DS, and DH turns to look at him....he's standing up, his shirt is off and he's getting ready to drop his pants..... DH said..."What are you doing?!" DS responds..."I'm hot!"
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on Jun 26, 2012 8:43:05 GMT -5
Hmmm....is it bad that I'm thankful my 2.5 yo DS doesn't talk a whole lot yet? He was on a kick of saying F#$K for a while. Fortunately, he never said it at church.
Actually right now he cries about EVERYTHING (more than likely the result of being slightly verbally delayed and not being able to express himself). So, we get a lot of looks when we take him out shopping that we must be torturing/kidnapping/doing something bad to him because he will just cry his eyes out if we tell him not to do something.
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973beachbum
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Post by 973beachbum on Jun 26, 2012 9:03:15 GMT -5
Last year, DS was a kindergarten student at the Catholic school. The bathroom is right across from the principals office. DS and a friend were in the bathroom goofing around. The principal heard them, so she left her office to tell the boys to go back to their class. DS told her to go away. The principal told him that was not very respectful and he could not speak to her that way. He told her to go back to her office, please. He should get together with my son. His third grade teacher was mad at him for chit chatting with another student when they should have been working. His response was then how come you don't get in trouble for talking wtih Mrs so and so all the time when you are supposed to be here?
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jun 26, 2012 10:03:39 GMT -5
We were over at our neighbours' house for a block party. Guests were still arriving. One of the guest families had a little girl who couldn't have been older than four. Evidently she'd never seen a black person before, because when one of our neighbours (a black lady) arrived, the girl exclaimed loudly, "Mom! That lady looks just like Paddy!" "Paddy" was our neighbours' chocolate lab. You could have heard a pin drop for the next five seconds. I recall everybody taking the statement in good humour, but needless to say, "mom" had to take the girl aside to teach her a few life lessons.
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